User:Multiliteralist/Summit of Spin/RandomMan
RandomMan is a balding guy who smokes a pipe. He also has a hugely muscular body, with a dildo for left hand. He lives in a castle in France, and is an amphibian. He also has a big penis!
RandomMan sat quietly at his typewriter pondering what the response would be best for the latest advice request sent over by his editor. Writing under the pen name, "Mrs. Advicesworth" he'd been successfully answering requests for the lovelorn and clueless for over twenty years; but recent advances in technology and remissions in the evolution of mankind had left him feeling distraught and uncounselable. 'How on earth shall I tell this poor teen mom that Goa Tse requests from her side-boyfriend should only be accepted if there is either true love or monetary compensation in the relationship?' he mused to himself.
It was clearly the time to act, and act fast!! That's what the italics mean! So then RandomMan had a fresh look at his typewriter and decided to go out instead. He switched off the lights and wandered upstairs, where he picked up his violin and started playing. The sound of the ancient instrument brought many memories. He started crying and went back downstairs. His typewriter still sat on the table like a big, fat, ugly SLUT! RandomMan hated his typewriter and wanted to smash it to pieces. His leg was throbbing ominously.