User:Nameable/UnPoetia:The Owl And The Pussycat (Revised for School Study)

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Unpoetia logo.jpg Poetry for people who hate poetry

Poem[edit]

PLEASE NOTE: The poem has been altered slightly to make sure it gives out the correct Government message.

The Owl and the Tabby[1] Cat went to sea
In a beautiful pea-green boat, (They had, however, been planning this holiday, and as such, had filled out all the required Health & Safety forms, just as you should do, kids!)
They took some healthy, nutritious snacks[2], and plenty of money
Wrapped up in a five-pound note (Which was in turn wrapped safely in an envelope, sealed in a waterproof wallet, which had their names and contact details on it)[3]
The Owl looked up to the stars above, whilst still regaining complete control of the boat,
And sang to a small guitar,
"O lovely Tabby, O Tabby, my love,
What a beautiful Tabby you are,
You are, You are!
What a beautiful Tabby you are! Not to say cats that aren't tabby aren't beautiful. They are just as beautiful. Because we are all equal. [4]



PussyTabby said to the Owl, "You elegant fowl!
How charmingly sweet you sing!
O let us be married! too long we have tarried:

But what shall we do for a ring?" They sailed away, for a year and a day, To the land where the Bong-tree grows And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood With a ring at the end of his nose, His nose, His nose, With a ring at the end of his nose.

"Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling Your ring?" Said the Piggy, "I will." So they took it away, and were married next day By the Turkey who lives on the hill. They dined on mince, and slices of quince, Which they ate with a runcible spoon; And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand, They danced by the light of the moon, The moon, The moon, They danced by the light of the moon.

References[edit]

  1. Originally pussy, changed for obvious purposes
  2. As we all know, honey is bad for your teeth
  3. Packing skills are an essential part of the curriculum. You can even do GCSEs in them.
  4. See Baa Baa Rainbow Sheep and the Government's new Tolerance Guidelines.