Necropaxx!!!
Do Some Work!!!
Why, when I can crush you all?
[edit] Important Information
Hi. I'm Necropaxx. How do you do? ... Very well, thanks. No, I didn't know that. But less about you, let's talk about me. I am a 17 year old male, and thus know everything. Yes, even that. Especially that. No, not that, that. Duh. I live in Provo, Utah, but I'm not giving any more specifics, so neener, neener, neener. My birthday is on February 29, believe it or not; so when I said I'm 17, that there was a lie. I'm 4¼. Yes, really. My therapist says I take being screwed over by nature rather well. I tell him he's an idiot quack, and stupid to boot. He says I'm being redundant. I tell him to shut up.
I've been on Uncyclopedia for over two years and I've got nine featured articles and the Writer of the Month award in that time. My Uncyclopedia schedule has recently evened out now that I'm settled in Provo. I'm usually online at 7:30 a.m. until 8:30 a.m. I don't go on Sundays because that's the Sabbath. I am a religious conservative, thereby making me unique on Uncyc. But I don't care, I love this place, even if you're all a buncha' commie pinko bleeding-heart liberals. Hmm... I am not an admin, but I still like helping the polite n00b who asks for it. I used to be one myself. No, really.
On the subject of writing, I have written a couple of original articles, but I'm better at doing rewrites. I like writing about generic subjects, like Toaster, Top hat, or Elevator, because I think encyclopedic articles that parody Wikipedia are the soul of the site. Not that "style articles" aren't funny, I just think encyclopedic prose is teh awesome. On a contradictory note, I love all of Modus's articles. In conclusion, I like Uncyclopedia, so should you. :) • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING Der Unwehr~}
[edit] Origins
“Who ordered the sexy?”
~ User:Necropaxx on delivering the sexy
Many eons ago, back when Uncyclopedia was nearly two years old, a certain IP was surfing the web. His friend came up to him, and lo, he said,
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| Hey check out this website it's funny, lol.
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The IP typed in the address and hit [ENTER]. On the
Main page he saw the featured article,
Homeless nerds. The IP
lolled loudly. "This is great!" he said. "I should make an account." And so
NECROPAXX came to
Uncyclopedia. The name Necropaxx was fashioned out of three parts: "Necro" means death, "Pax" means peace, and "X" means x. "Whoa, that's deep," you say. "I know," says I.
Necropaxx began his career leaving Captain Obvious quotes on pages like Black Jesus and template spamming. Lame, I know, but Necropaxx didn't know any better. He got banned for a week by Famine. He appealed the ban and Famine said "STFU n00b!" and left him to wither and die.
Then something truly amazing happened. Instead of creating a sockpuppet to create a forum post that went something like "OMG I haet you guize you stink I'm going home", Necropaxx took it like a good user. "The experience was truly life-changing," Necropaxx said later. "It turned me from an annoying n00b/vandal into a slightly less annoying but well-mannered n00bl3t. Thank you, Famine." Necropaxx later rescinded the "thank you, Famine" comment, saying, "Who am I kidding? I hate Famine."
After the ban was up, Necropaxx decided to write an article. Since he was Mormon, he put his energy into a Mormon article. After much blood, sweat, and tears, out came The Great Mormon-Catholic War. Don't read it, it's awful. But it was a brave start for the young lad. He wrote a supplementary article, Holy Cheese, that actually got featured later. One day, he read UnBooks:Gallows Humor, and tried to rip it off with UnBooks:Diary of a Fat Girl. It didn't work. He was stagnated, but thanks to many reviews, Necropaxx got back on track and got Holy Cheese featured. He got better at writing and got two more features, earning him a spot in the Hall of Shame. The rest, as they say, is history.
[edit] My Master Works and Other Junk
[edit] Articles
These are all the articles I have written, amazing or otherwise.
[edit] Featured
[edit] Up for Feature
[edit] Decent
[edit] Miserable Failures and Orphaned Ideas
[edit] In Progress
[edit] Pictures
These are all the images that I have made myself, brilliant or not. (Usually not.)
Victorian sitting room.jpg
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[edit] My Wonderful Awards
Writer of the Month August 2009
Potatochopper of the Month March 2008
| This user is a Fellow in the Potatochoppers' Guild, and has earned a great deal of respect. Ask this user about joining!
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| UNSOC DOUBLEPLUSGOOD MEMBER
PARTY MEMBER HAS DOUBLEPLUSGOOD DEEDS REF PAGE
MEDAL GIVEWISE SHOWN DOUBLEPLUSBIG AS AWARD IS PARTY HONOR
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| Javascap has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.
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[edit] My Templates
These templates all serve some purpose. (Just don't ask me, I don't know.)
| Necropaxx
has awarded you a Chocolate Cake for voting on VFH.
You may eat now.
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| OUI!
Necropaxx's belated thanks go with you for voting positively on Siege of Bordeaux. Remember, les français ne sont jamais au dessus de dérision!
Translate it yourself, je suis trop de fatigue.
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| ***You Are Dead***
Necropaxx's soul-felt thanks go with you for the For vote on Grim Reaper.
Remember, Grim's just a normal guy with the greatest job in the world.
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| This user will never forget October 23, 2008, the day that Wikia sold its soul.
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| Hi there! This big ol' grin must mean this article
is being reviewed by:
• • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING Der Unwehr~}
(While you're welcome to review it as well, you might like to consider
GOING AWAY and REVIEWING SOMETHING ELSE).
(Also, if the review hasn't been finished within 24 hours of this tag appearing,
at {{{1}}}
feel free to remove it and give Necropaxx a swift kick up the butt for being such a loser).
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| Going Down?
Necropaxx would like to thank you profusely for reading his article and actually liking it enough to vote For.
The picture on the right is exactly what you wouldn't see in an elevator. Sorry. :(
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| This user can be trusted with your deepest, darkest secrets.
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This user pretends to be an awesome warrior from a mystical land, but is really a sad little nerd person.
However, s/he takes comfort in the fact that you are too.
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| "Feeling any pain yet, Mrs. Davis?"
Necropaxx is delighted to thank you for your For vote on his recent rewrite, Antbortion.
Remember, kids, this is what happened to your would-be brother Jeffy. Go kick your parents for him, why don't you?
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[edit] My Userboxes
Userboxes
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| This user is constantly PEEING. S/He apologizes for the mess.
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| This user will never forget October 23, 2008, the day that Wikia sold its soul.
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| This user subscribes to the UnSignpost: The Free Newspaper Only Two People Started Out Editing, But Now They Want Nothing To Do With!
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| This user is Mormon, and has a harem of wives, which includes your mother.
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| This user is a Gamer and therefore creepy.
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| Necropaxx is an UnTunes contributor. Hearing protection should always be worn within fifty yards of them.
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| Jesus loves this user, and has blessed this page.
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| A x2
| This user is lucky to have survived going through the Grue-infested pit we call The Abyss more than once.
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| Dieser Benutzer ist ein offizielles Mitglied Der Unwehr. Wir sind hier zu die Schwachen töten und die Starke bauen. Sieg Heil!
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| This user is happy to help n00bs. Leave a message here.
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| MEH
| This user redefines lazy.
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This user does not have a user page at Wikipedia because he or she thinks that they take things way too seriously over there. |
| This user is a grue and while you were reading this, has eaten you. Start over?
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| This user is not a ninja because ninjas are gay.
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This user is so pirate, they stole religious doctrine.
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| This user believes Barney is evil and therefore must die.
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| This user's IQ is cheese.
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User goodthink U.W.P member.
Helper of needy, destroyer of ungood.
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| This user has created/stolen from wikipedia 4 userboxes as one liners are easy.
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| This user has been on Uncyclopedia for
2 years, 6 months and 29 days.
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| This user is right-handed.
In Latin they would be dexter.
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| Sense
| This user promotes the radical idea of having sense.
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| This user's future is so bright they've gotta wear shades.
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| This user is searching for the Cabal. If they go missing, please inform their family.
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| 17
| This user is 17 years old. Woop-ti-doo.
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| teen
| This user is a teenager and so hangs around bus stops in large intimidating groups and beats up old ladies for drug money. Probably.
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| This user is Single but is currently stalking someone.
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| This user gots a shuvel. Yes he/she does.
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| Official
| This user is official. They get all their user boxes from here.
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| This user collects userboxes as if they were trading cards hoping that they may be collectors items worth something in the future.
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| This user is a veteran/combatant of the war.
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| This user is secretly training to be a Leprechaun, and believes themselves to be Irish.
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| This user believes participation in the consumption of cheese is an exquisite pastime.
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| "Fail"
| If by "Necropaxx" you mean "fail" then yes.
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| This user is an assassin, and can kill you anywhere you go from in the shadows. Fear this user.
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| This user uses public transport and so has most likely been mugged, raped or murdered.
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| This user identifies as straight and so is probably homophobic.
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| free
| This user is interested in freethought as s/he sure as hell doesn't want to pay!.
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RS
| This user no longer plays RunEscape. Congratulate them on their recovery and welcome them back to reality
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| LV-2
| This user considers him/herself an intermediate gamer and so probably has some sort of social life.
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| This user owns a slick lookin'
Sony PSP
Woop-ti-doo...
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| This user can be trusted with your deepest, darkest secrets.
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| This user rejects the theory of global warming or at least thinks it's someone else's problem.
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This user pretends to be an awesome warrior from a mystical land, but is really a sad little nerd person.
However, s/he takes comfort in the fact that you are too.
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Writer of the Month August 2009 
Potatochopper of the Month March 2008 
