User:Orion Blastar/IWETHEY

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IWETHEY stands for Info World Electric Troll Horde of Eclectic Yammerers. Comprising a number of anarchists, communist, Molechites and Liberal Terrorists cells they initially formed on the Infoworld forums in an effort to prevent a conservative conspiracy to appoint Kirstie Alley as the first woman president of the USA.


Some graduates of Queen's University went to post on Infoworld forums, and founded their group there in 1982. Having an altogether obnoxious bent, they were moderated when they drove their fellow comrades to near insanity through a combination of bad jokes and wicked ways. As an aside, these old forums were more of a smoke and mirrors affair unbeknownst to most regular posters there - no ability to bar posters, no access to the original code, some nefarious bad blood from its originator that left InfoWorld pretending to have some control over its forum environment. A tolerant policy was the only recourse - the only trick was to make it appear intentional. After a near-collapse of the overloaded mythic forum format that had served them so well, new forums were born that left users mired in the tar pits of hell. After knifing their new baby, they moved to the Ezboard forums. However at Ezboard, they found they had to follow the rules there too, so after a failed coup attempt they left and founded their own Banana Republic forums on their own desert island server. They then based this system of rules on the book named the Holy Bible: Revised Liberal Edition Lord of the Flies. Some IWETHEY members are citizens of the USA and the US Founding Fathers are turning over in their graves over what those US Citizens and members post Anti-USA rants on the IWETHEY forum and blank and vandalize Wiki sites in attempts of censorship and fighting freedom of speech.


They claim that a Kirsty Alley administration would outlaw Kitten Huffing, which would cause a Temporal paradox that will ultimately enable Elvis to win the Annual Miss Stalin-Look-Alike 2006 contest and abuse his powers to allow SCO to win their lawsuit against IBM over Linux. Any wiki article written on them must be disputed unless they approve it, so say the IWETHEY vandals. They claim that they are right and everyone else is wrong. That everyone should agree to their views politically, religiously, and morally by joining their groupmind. That Uncyclopedia is full of lies, and thus is unfunny.


The IWETHEY members have opinions, and they all agree that this article was written by Oscar Wilde after he left their forum as an attempt at humour based on the history of many members and the forum itself. As a result they wrote a song, which is documented at the IWETHEY lyrics part of this article about the whole situation. Oscar was known to have used multiple login accounts at IWETHEY over the past decade, as a result to be funnier. IWETHEY also has the opinion that Uncyclopedia is full of lies, and thus is unfunny. They also have the opinion that everyone should be forced to use Linux and that SCO should be disbanded. They have an opinion that anarchy would be a better form of government than democracy, and if not anarchy then communism because communism would allow them to run the state and blank and vandalize any Wiki site they choose. This statement made by SCO is the basis for almost all of their opinions, that Linux is not a copy of Unix, and is not a system at all like Unix, that it is completely and totally different from Unix like Mac OS X is different from Unix as is FreeBSD and others as well. None of them, they claim, use a Command Line like Unix does and aren't in any way shape or form like Unix.

Their Lack of Humour[edit]

The IWETHEY members, except for one of them which is smarter than the rest of them, do not find this article funny, and consider it more nonsense by Oscar directed at them. They feel that Uncyclopedia is full of lies and that Oscar continues to lie and hides all of his lies as jokes all over the Internet for the past decade. The IWETHEY members do not like jokes about them just like the Nazis did not like the jokes that The Three Stooges and Charlie Chaplin and the Jews made about them. In fact, the IWETHEY members claim it is like watching a Road Runner cartoon, and finding out that the writer died by falling off a cliff or being hit by a train in a tunnel while trying to catch a Road Runner, which they claim automatically makes that Cartoon unfunny.

Apparently Oscar named a few of them by names in his Blog and then quickly changed it to remove their names after they read it, or so they claim. None of this has been proven, and it all seems like fiction written by the IWETHEY members (except one of them who is smart and not stupid like the rest of them) as a result to attack poor Oscar even more. Oscar is a tough guy and can take a joke, and let out a quote. In any case, the IWETHEY members still dispute this article, except for one of them who is Lokean by nature and gets the joke.

Most of them take things far too seriously and see Oscar's jokes, like when he died online, or wrote this article on them, as serious, sick, sad, and lies. In fact, they still blame Oscar for their personal problems, and mental health, because they never got his jokes. Oscar has a bit of advice for all the IWETHEY members: "Don't be Stupid" yet they never seen to want to listen to him.

Page Blankings[edit]

Currently the IWETHEY members have tried to blank this page a total of eight times. Please see IWETHEY vandals for more information. Apparently blanking Wiki pages is something they enjoy as a past-time. They also like adding in templates at the top of the article to dispute it. Please help in removing the templates, fix the blankings and vandalism instead of just vote to have the article deleted. Failing that more recently they keep trying to add this article to VFD and failing to get it deleted, because it contains the truth on them.


IWETHEY members suffer from a form of wikiphrenia and this has caused them to form their own group mind and think in doublethink and bash outsiders, moderates, conservatives, trolls, Microsoft Windows users and Corporations, it is believed they exhibit these behaviors as these things scare them. They are often found to be unemployed, due to the fact that corporations scare them and this gets in their way of doing their jobs. Because of their group mind they attack and bash individuals who don't fit into their "elite" group.

They call themselves child molesters and often have meetings to share information on how not to get caught by the government for their illegal activities. Most of them were seen on the "To Catch a Predator" series on NBC. At these meetings they often take pictures of themselves, drink beer and act stupid. The FBI and The Department of Homeland Security were monitoring them but eventually got bored. They did stop by for some beers and stake, because even FBI agents have to cut loose. Yet the final analysis of the IWETHEY group was that they are no real threat because of how pathetic and self-destructive they are. Instead the FBI decided to wiretap and monitor Bill O'Reilly because of his unpatriotic views on Fox News. Recently they were behind the topless photos of Hannah Montana on Vanity Fair and the Internet.

A Warning to Outsiders[edit]

Those with contrary views to theirs, who go against the group mind are advised to stay away. If they do not, they will have to face the wraith of Aquaman, Garfield and Xenu, who are regular posters and flame lords on the IWETHEY forums. There have already been two unexplained deaths of former IWETHEY members , several others who have been chased off their web sites for disagreeing with the group mind and rumours of IRA style Kneecappings (these rumours may however have been started by IWETHEY mod's to encourage a climate of fear, much like the recent Bush Administration's "Al-Qaeda is working with Iraq" and the British "Rycin Scare" plots). They are however a mostly harmless group of individuals with superiority complexes who think they are intellectuals. They are, of course, way too serious to understand Uncyclopedia much less get most of the jokes here.

Current Agenda[edit]

  • Keep the metric system down.
  • Plot to overthrow or assassinate George W. Bush.
  • Release the sober worm to infect Windows PCs and force people to use Linux or at least Rinux.
  • Blank Wiki pages like this one.
  • Drink lots of beer and act stupid.
  • Not get the humour of the Uncyclopedia articles.
  • Do sloppy work on the job, get fired for it, and then post whiny diaries about it on the IWETHEY forum.
  • Make fun of Oscar Wilde on their forum, even though he no longer reads or posts there.
  • Try to legalize Kitten Huffing and other hard drug uses.
  • Try to be more left-wing than Karl Marx or Michael Moore or Bill O'Reilly.
  • Create Sock Puppet Accounts on Uncyclopedia to add more signs to this article, and try to sabotage it.
  • Post lots of whiny and angst ridden forum posts, Livejournals, Blogs, Smear websites, etc on others blaming them for the IWETHEY members shortcomings and mistakes. Face it, they are not as perfect and refined as Oscar Wilde so they blame him and others like him as scapegoats.
  • Adding this page to VFD in efforts to hide the truth about their membership and agenda.
  • Vandalizing this page to make it unfunny and thus get it deleted.
  • For a few months prior to this writing, there have been technical problems with the website, and it was not available to the public. Once it came back up, the above agenda took place yet again.

IWETHEY Lyrics[edit]

As an amateur musical group, "The IWETHEY People" started their band in 1982 and had a one hit wonder named, ironically "IWETHEY". They apparently were upset at someone, a former member of theirs, named Oscar, and wrote a song about the whole situation. Many beavers and cabbages died to bring you the lyrics to this song, as IWETHEY members are Liberal Terrorists as well. They are well armed with many Weapons and have 99 Lives and ready to use them all up. The band website is at and has a fan forum at for fans to post on. The web site was down due to a RAID problem that even their Linux experts don't know how to fix for a few months. It could be back up, but then you never know how reliable it is at all.


Oscar, there's no need to leave town.
I said, Oscar, pick yourself a new crown.
I said, Oscar, 'cause you're spinning around,
There's no need to be sloppy.
Oscar, there's a forum you can go.
I said, Oscar, when you've burnt out your coal.
You can post there, and I'm sure you might mind,
Many ways to spend your last dime.
It's fun to post on the I-WE-THEY.
It's fun to post on the I-WE-THEY.
They have nothing for Uncyclopedia to annoy,
You can freak out with all the Roys ...
It's fun to post on the I-WE-THEY.
It's fun to post on the I-WE-THEY.
You can get yourself mean, you can have a bad deal,
You can eat your last meal ...
Oscar, are you posting to me?
I said, Oscar, what do you really see?
I said, Oscar, you can form your own team.
But you've got to destroy the one true ring!
No one posts it all by himself.
I said, Oscar, put your humour on the shelf,
And just leave there, from the I-WE-THEY.
I'm positive they can annoy you today.
It's fun to post on the I-WE-THEY.
It's fun to post on the I-WE-THEY.
They have nothing for Uncyclopedia to annoy,
You can freak out with all the Roys ...
It's fun to post on the I-WE-THEY.
It's fun to post on the I-WE-THEY.
You can get yourself mean, you can have a bad deal,
You can eat your last meal ...
Oscar, you sure will lose.
I said, you will deal with the blues.
I felt like I struck a bee hive.
I felt the whole forum was so alive ...
That's when someone chased after me,
And said, Oscar, take a hike to the meet.
It's a bash called the I-WE-THEY,
They can abuse you to this very day.
It's fun to post on the I-WE-THEY.
It's fun to post on the I-WE-THEY.
They have nothing for Uncyclopedia to annoy,
You can freak out with all the Roys ...
It's fun to post on the I-WE-THEY.
It's fun to post on the I-WE-THEY.
Oscar, Oscar, pick yourself a new crown.
Oscar, Oscar, 'cause you're spinning around.
It's fun to post on I-WE-THEY.
It's fun to post on the I-WE-THEY.
Oscar, Oscar, are you starting to see?
Oscar, Oscar, go climb a tree!
I-WE-THEY'll lose it at the I-WE-THEY
No one, Oscar, posts it all by himself,
Oscar, Oscar, put your humour on the shelf.
...then just leave the I-WE-THEY
Oscar, Oscar, i once read in the news
Oscar, Oscar, I said, I was once reading the reviews.

See also[edit]

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Orion Blastar/IWETHEY is part of Uncyclopedia's series on Mass Media.