User:Richardson j/Alfred Kahn

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Alfred Khan is somebody who hates Japanese.

Early life[edit]

In his early life, Alfred was born, and as a child had plenty of friends.

Then, at age 7 his family took a trip to Japan. There, Alfred Kahn was forced to eat sushi and to drink wasabinade, which tasted horrible. One night, a giant monster with an ugly face invaded the city. Severe side effects of this invasion included most of the city becoming quite destroyed. Traumatized by this event, he vowed revenge on the Japanese people, believing entirely that they had indirectly caused this tragedy.

As he grew into his teens, he planned like a savage madman, day in and day out, until his 21st birthday. On this day, he came up with an idea. Alfred would form an evil entertainment company, which he would leave unnamed for the time being.

Later realizing the company's messages and brainwash were mostly FOR KIDS, he decided to name it the 4 KIDS company.

A symbol of pure evil

Mid-life (hold the crisis)[edit]

Allegedly, Alfred didn't use these years for much more than murdering Pokémon, destroying One Piece, and raping the Tokyo Mew Mew girls. I know... what a filthy man.


Alfred Kahn decided to use the cruel ideas of the Pokémon show's "trainers use animals to fight for them" mentality, to show how terrible the Japanese were.

In fact, he had tried it for 8 whole god damn seasons, but it seemed to just attract more people to the show, not to mention Japan itself.

Tokyo Mew Mew[edit]

A show about 5 cute girls. AWWWWWW SOOOO CUUUUUUUUUUTE!!!

Yes well.....Mr. Kahn raped them.

A couple of months later the stress of Kahn's act and the fact that they lost there viginity which they could not cope with the girls committed suicide, by cutting there wrists lengthwise with knives from Cafe Mew. The 5 cute girls, who between the ages of 8 and 15 were dead as dead could be. Mr. Kahn couldn't help but smile maliciously after hearing this news.

As they were so loved by the citizens of Tokyo, they had a great funeral .

R.I.P. The tokyo mew mew girls

One Piece[edit]

Alfred Kahn destroyed One Piece with a mallet.

As Kahn himself is a freaking big pirate . A pirate that specialise in piracy .

It's no wonder Luffy (not pronounced Laffy) tried to strangle him and zolo tried to dice him and Nami tried to kill him with treasure .


Well, Kahn had drawn the wrong card this time, because kids were suffering papercuts from this seemingly harmless game.

And emergency wards ended up so full that some hospital's ended up collapsing .

Sonic X[edit]

Well lets just say Kahn had some sped up ideas about it.

And all this because Kahn hated hedgehog's and so he tried & tried to drown this hedgehog who's felling a bit blue .


As Alfred Kahn lay there on his death bed he smiled an evil smile, knowing he had destroyed the reputation of the Japanese, and the only memories of their semi accepted existence were those of his badly dubbed anime copies.

Then, he died, with a great big smirk across his face.

After life[edit]

Alfred Kahn lived in hell for all eternity and suffered unimaginable torment.


  • Kahn knew manga wouldn't work in America. It was like a round peg in a square hole.
  • Pikachu hates Alfred Kahn
  • Alfred Kahn is in his sixties.
  • Alfred Kahn is a sick old cough lolly bucket
  • That Alfred Kahn prefer anime to be censored
  • That this article is not censored
    • Oh wait it is.
  • Kahn finds little magical girl's sexy

See also[edit]