George Carlin 5-12-37 - 6-22-08, We Will Love You And Miss You.
I speeled his name rong at first.
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|This user adept of suicide in small fees. Cool, aint it?|
| This user enjoys staring at spinning objects.
They may be afflicted with Attention Deficit look at the birdie!.|
|This user is American|
...and unabashedly proud of it!
(List of American Uncyclopedians)
|en-P||This f****r speaks English heavily laced with profanity that would make a f*****g a*****e sailor blush from all the g*******d blasphemy.|
|pika-3||This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of Pikachu.|
|gee-L||Thith uther thpeakth Geek with a really thexy lithp.|
||This user only speaks his mind enough to seduce and kidnap native mind-speakers for an authoritarian regime.|
“Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20? Holy shit, I like that guy, my girlfiend wants to hob his knob, he's a great singer... wait, Roby Thomas? Who the hell is Roby Thomas?”
My name is Robert Thomas (age 26), no relation to Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20, or that producer with the same name that did that one movie with that skank from Drive Me Crazy (movie), there is some evidence that she made out with Britney Spears. Sadly, I live in Michigan, (which will soon, be part of Canada, that is why I'm working on my "eh?") it has a very bad economy. Most recently, I work two jobs, my primary at a plastics factory I have to travel 25 miles round trip to, with the haunting message that gas is $4 a gallon, plus that my car has a better chance to die on I-94.
On the note of high gas prices, everyone wonders why I hate my country, which I don't, but I hate my country's people because they re-elected Geroge W Bush.
Back to the job, it is one of the best places I have worked or now work, lots and lots of Albanian chicks. Gotta love them! Sadly, most of them don't love me too much, at least that is what it seems. But, it's worth paying four dollars a gallon and working my ass off. Lots and lots of Eastern European Chicks, hell ya.
My second job sucks a major dick, I work as a dishwasher. But it pays decently well, I just despise waking up early on Sunday Morning, and a particular (speeled rong) employee shouting out my name when walking in to start work. I must be Jesus Christ to this person, or some shit like that.
I'm not Jesus, I'm Roby. DUH!!!!
I hate to say it, but I wish people at my second job would stop doing acid.
As for my personal life, I have no children at the moment. Like to have a girlfriend but a recent showing of Moment Of Truth on 17 June 2008 had one stupid heartless bitch who admitted cheating on her boyfriend multiple times and failing at the $100,000 question on if she ever regretted getting back with her boyfriend, in which she said "yes," but the answer was false, is the reason I'm holding back a bit. Otherwise, I hear that a few of these Albanian Women are single at my job, I may ask one out very soon. Plus, instead of being one of the cool guys at 19 who fucked his 15-year-old girlfriend and now has three or four kids at my current age, possibly now a jailbird or Big Bubbah's bitch, I'd rather play it smart and try my best to save my money for a rainy day (which happened recently when a new water pump was needed for my vehicle). But maybe I should of done that, most people feel sympathy for those types.
For my primary place of employment, I'm sometimes badgered with questions about my personal life and why I'm currently not dating a girl (Mainly by a noisy American, boy are we fucking noisy). You have read the paragraph above, you might just understand why. And for those people who don't understand, let me ask you this, would you like it if you made $600/week and your paycheck ends at $36/week due to child support payments? (You get 36 dollars a week, sucks eh?) If I didn't play it smart in my teenage years, that would probably happen to me, only I don't make $600/week.
Now it's my turn to laugh at you're stupid ass.
Fasting from Uncyclopedia
From the first week of Feburary until today being 12 May 2008 (three point two-five months), I have fallen away from Uncyclopedia and even rarely using the web. I got sick of the web all together and dropped like a bad habit. But I had to go back to it, one way or the other. You'll hear my voice on a UnNewsAudio very, very soon. That was something I was doing last on here, and I didn't truly suck at it.
Pages I remember toying with
|This user's primary source of artwork is MS Paint.|
Quack - The original was the best! This version sucks!!!
Darkwing Duck - It needed to be 'fixed' so I tried, now Manforman needs to take a look.
Doug - He does have a radio station in Michigan, someone keeps taking the HONK HONK!'s off, I'm always put them back on, HONK HONK! Someone took my Doug FM section off, I'm very pissed. I'm getting back on you fuckers!!
WNIC - Since Wikipedia has a list of stations in each city, can we do that here too? I'm a fan or FM/AM Radio, but most of the stations in Detroit suck (Actually FM radio sucks all together now), somebody message me aboot this.
Lychee - Influenced to make Langolier. That was deleted tho...
HowTo:Take a shit
AOL - I don't know about you, but I sure wish some of these Happy-ass AOL users should rot in hell
TechTV - Noting that G4 now have Cops (2.0) and Cheaters on to make some ratings, so it will push the limit of time when TechTV takes over. God I hate G4, I want Call For Help back!!! Put that shit back on motherfuckers!!!! YOU GOD DAMN COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKING DILLDOE-EATIN' CHERRY COKE-USING FAGGOT FUCKS!!!!
Jennifer Granholm - Added her to other catergories that she should be in. Did you know that she is Canada, eh?
Animal Crossing: Wild World - I could agree with 98% of the facts on there. I just added some other facts about "Phyllis" and "The Happy Room Acadamey" (speeled rong). Some asshole took all the charater descriptions off though. I'm pissed!!
Nigeria - Added the 'some guy' quote.
UnNewsAudio I Did
Note: Although I use the British jingle, I'm actually American.
UnNews:Serial killer known as "Internet" now caught thanks to victim's brother's hint, trial to be held - I sing along with the jingle, how embarrasing. (Did I spell that right?)
UnNews:Nickelodeon no longer a kids' network - My first, the quailty sucks and I sound like a 60-year-old drunken hobo.
More on the way!
Articles I thought of starting
|This user loves|
List of girls I think about & jerkoff to before going to sleep
Julianne Moore - Why not?
Nicole Kidman - Days Of Thunder era.
Catherine Keener - 40yo Virgin. But I loved her more in The Interpeter
Beyonce Knowles - I like to smack the shit out of her.
List of girls I'd fucked
Some fat chick
Paris Hilton - Now I have a unknowned STD. Why am I barfing a lot. It wasn't worth it, i really had to beat the shit out of a couple of dudes to get in her pants.
My ex-girlfriend - She's a yooper, last time I heard.
My ex-girlfriend's ex-girlfriend - She looks like...you.
A stripper from... uhh... 8 mile road - better than getting married.
Another stripper from the mall - The mall that white people go to, I really had to lie my ass off on this one