User:Rogpyvbc

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This user is Canadian ...and knows what a block heater is!!

ca-N This user is a native speaker of Canajan, eh?.

ja-X This user only speaks Japanese enough to seduce native Japanese speakers.

This user is from Victoria, British Columbia, which is not in South America. B.C. is named after the Columbia River, which runs through the province and reaches the Pacific at the border between Washington State and Oregon. It is remarkable that the river just happens to complete its run exactly where the border happens to be. Anyway, B.C. is in Western Canada; it was made famous in the prelude to Monty Python's Lumberjack Song.

This user plays the accordion, but has never met Weird Al Yankovic; but he knows someone who met him after a concert in which he threw his boxer shorts at her. Or something like that. (And no, the after-concert meeting did not involve the aforementioned boxer shorts. Get your mind out of the gutter).

This user prefers to play croquet in the snow. He never set the world record for endurance croquet when he was 19 years old because it would have meant staying up FIVE DAYS STRAIGHT; and it seems unfair you can't get in the Guinness Book by doing something, well, a little less strenuous. If you could, I bet a lot more people would be willing to set world records and they would sell a lot more books.

Speaking of world records, I once ate at a restaurant in Takamatsu, Japan, which at the time held the record for plate-spinning. I spent three months in Japan teaching English, though I learned little Japanese, other than a few useful sayings such as "thank you very much," "my name is Roger," "I love you but I can't marry you," and "if you really love me, you'll stop asking me to eat raw fish."

I am now on Unsabbatical, busy working on my MFA in Creative Writing at UBC.

http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/0/07/CUN.png Commander of the Order

Contents 1 Writing 2 Reviewing 3 Ninjastars 4 Featured articles I voted for 5 Other gifts and miscellany

[edit] Writing

I have written 0.1% of all Uncyclopedia articles (a whole 24) and 0.15% of all UnNews articles (8). I've reviewed another 28 articles.

Featured Articles:

• Global Cooling - May 31, 2007 (Featured version)

In recognition of your contribution toward maintaining a humourous atmosphere on Uncyclopedia. Thank you for keeping Uncyclopedia cool.

I proudly announce that this article has been translated into Portugese.

• Bipolar bear - July 5, 2007 (Featured version)

Here's two bucks a charming portrait of a bipolar bear for your heartfelt support of manic-depressive wildlife. Bipolar Bears Rule!!

I proudly announce that this article has been translated into both Portugese and French.

• Pair of Dice by the Dashboard Light - August 1, 2007 (Featured version)

BIG MOTHER AND BIG FATHER ARE WATCHING YOU! Though it's cold and lonely in the deep, dark night They can see a Pair of Dice by the Dashboard Light

• Creepy - October 29, 2008 (Featured Version)

Do you like my picture? May I take yours? Let me pick out something for you to pose in from my box of photos of you that I keep under my bed. You don't think that's creepy, do you?

Other articles I wrote:

UnNews Reports

• UnNews:Prince Harry to duel bin Laden
• UnNews:Duceppe promotes unity
• UnNews:Paris Hilton Released Using "Get Out of Jail Free" Card
• UnNews:Kennedy Declares Candidacy for '08
• UnNews:Testosterone-fuelled Vehicles Linked to Aggressive Driving
• UnNews:Uncyclopedia Celebrates 23,000th 23,000th Article

- made the UnNews front page January 18, 2008

• UnNews:Photo of Clinton Wearing a Burqa Creates a Stir
• UnNews:Opening Ceremonies Fixed

Articles I re-wrote:

• Ballroom Dancing
• Mordecai Richler

Articles I contributed significantly to:

• Worst 100 Self-Help Books (numbers 1-18)
• Canadian Military
• Tim Hortons (RRRoll up the brews to lose)
• Game:Pick Up the Phone Booth and Aisle/superhero (change clothes)
• UnNews:Team Canada on Track to Acheive Olympic Goal of 0 Medals (2nd half)
• Iqaluit, Nunavut

[edit] Reviewing

	Rejoice, Rogpyvbc! You have been entitled to the Golden Shower Award
	For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

Articles I have received the Golden Shower Award for reviewing:

• Laura Secord
• Soul Market (quasi-quasi-featured)
• Did I really move to LA? (quasi-featured)
• Portishead
• Hunter

And I got this for reviewing Obsessive-compulsive rhyming disorder (featured):

Rise, Rogpyvbc! You have been proclaimed by Big Brother to be an honorary member of the Inner Party for your contributions to Obsessive-compulsive rhyming disorder! Subject to ability to pass a Ministry of Truth orthodoxy test. Offer invalid outside Oceania.

Other articles I've reviewed:

• UnNews:Uncyclopedia is better than Wikipedia
• UnNews:Rain falls on United Kingdom (featured)
• UnBooks:Beverly Hills Tales (writing in progress - this will be a good one!)

[edit] Ninjastars

- Ljlego also awarded me one of these for helping put templates on articles nominated for deletion.

[edit] Featured articles I voted for

	Congratulation! You are now happy owner of new proud fat kid with an Accordion from El Zoof!
	Much felicitous appreciations for happy double nice good voting for HowTo:Stop Playing the Accordion

Congratulations Thank you for voting on Evolution of an Uncyclopedia editor. You have been awarded a meaningless template which was adapted slightly from an equally meaningless one by another user! You may now feel part of the Evolver Club, even though the writer has no idea who you are and is only giving you this so you vote for his articles again.

Weasel3689 would like to thank you for Lord of the Flies. Remember: Weasels Rule!

Thanks for voting for Blandford

Have some special Blandford-style tea.

Luckily you voted for this article. If you didn't you might have found yourself headless down a well

	Herr Doktor has awarded you a pumpkin pie!
	For voting on Gallows Humor "With your stamina refilled, time to work!"

OMG THANX!!!
	For voting on my Lego Assassination Image on VFP! Sliffy thanks you! I so totally stole this box
Now sing along: “Ebony, Ivory, living in perfect harmony!”

Mr. Kearsy ..is so cool, he doesn't have to say anything in order to thank you. Just look into his eyes and you'll know.

A tall, dark man pushes a note into your hand; it reads: "The The Don thanks you for voting for Film Noir. He offers a free secret from Jimmy the Shoeshine Boy as a reward." The man turns away, muttering he has an appointent with someone's mom...

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REJOICE!
You have received the
Double-Douser's Award
for exemplary utilization of boiling, scorchingly hot water.

Thank you for helping make
Why?:Pour Boiling Hot Water Down Your Trousers?
the most strongly favored article in Uncyclopedia history!

AHEM!

IS THIS SOME KIND OF FUCKING THANK YOU?!

You head on over to the VFH page, and notice that Is This Some Kind of Fucking Joke?! is no longer there. No it hasn't been stolen you fucking moron! It's simply been moved to the Main Page.
Kindly accept this offering of Jalapeño Cheddar flavored Cheetos as a personal thank you from RAHB for voting for it. Now stop viewing this template and clean the fucking carpet!

Leoispotter has awarded you a helmet! Now you can bash your head against a brick wall safely and in style!

Sonic80 has awarded you a magnifying glass of which you, too, may use to get thousands of dollars, in government subsidies for insect torture research.