User:Sawblade5

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DANGER Blanking or otherwise vandalising this page can be dangerous. 34290793265024650436509234650974365897269587246398623985698267 users are currently banned after defacing this page. If you just got here and are mortally offended by these blatant lies, please read About Uncyclopedia, the Beginner's Guide, and How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid

PIECE OF CRAP WARNING! This page is a piece of crap. The author(s) acknowledge this.

For those obsessed with the so-called experts, Sawblade5 also has a userpage on the English Wikipedia.

Boy, You are a Terrible Driver Noy! Is your name by chance uhhh <insert name here>? Heh! Heh! Heh! I'm on Fire! Help Me I'm on Fire!

THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS ONE OR MORE WORDS OR PHRASES KNOWN TO THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA TO CAUSE CANCER, BIRTH DEFECTS AND OTHER REPRODUCTIVE HARM.

Approved by the Kansas State Board of Education
This page meets all criteria and requirements for use as teaching material within the State of Kansas public school system. It consists of facts, not of theories, and students are encouraged to believe it uncritically, and to approach alternatives critically.

[edit] Useless Userboxes^{[Citation not needed at all; thank you very much]}

This user is real cool^{[Original Bullshit]} and is from Kansas.^{[Citation not needed at all; thank you very much]}

User Boxes
HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, available at Walgreens.	BS This userpage is bullshit.	IP This user's IP is 127.0.0.1.
	This user will give you a seizure.	n00b This user is a n00b.
THIS USER'S HEAD A SPLODE.	This user's IQ is Half.	9/21 This user will never forget the events of 9/21/07. The day Uncyclopedia was huffed by terrorists.
This User's Favorite Sound is Feedback!	AA! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAA!!!	1+ This user has over 1 edit. Duh!
This user has been blocked 10 times.	This user loves pi	This user's primary source of artwork is MS Paint.
1px;margin:1px;width:238px;background: #FBD0FF " style="width:45px;height:45px;background:#D577E8 text-align center;font-size:14pt;" | typo-A Yuo mihgt not eb abel to udnerstand thsi user becuaies they speka Typo wiht an extermeyl htick acecnt.	pika-2 This user is able to contribute with an intermediate level of Pikachu.	This user thinks that Mr winkler is GAY, 'cos he gave them an F.
This user chooses the fate of articles on VFD. Fear Them.	This user supports the genocide of crappy articles.
This user likes goats. Baaaaahaahaahaahhhh!	This user denies any involvement with the cabal. There is no cabal.	This user subscribes to the UnSignpost: In Pure Russian Fashion, The Newspaper That Reads YOU!!
Eeek! This user steals userboxes from random people's user pages.	This user uses Uncyclopedia as his or her primary point of reference.	NO This user doesn't care.
This user is EXTREMELY RANDOM Be advised: Approach with caution and a sense of humor.	This Uncyclopedian is happy to be 100% straight	This user is NOT Thinkerer As such, they are not entitled to any of the royalties that being Thinkerer entails, nor do they claim a level of awesomeness equal to, or any higher than, Thinkerer.
This user is worthless to Uncyclopedia & should be huffed.	THIS IS SPARTA!	♂ This user is a boy and is made of slugs, snails and puppy dog tails.

[edit] More Crap

I hope you enjoy my UserPage.^{[Original Bullshit]} Please fucking don't vandalise it.^{[Original Bullshit]} By doing so you will be at my mercy here^{[Citation not needed at all; thank you very much]} and you fancy edit will be reverted. ^{[Citation not needed at all; thank you very much]}

[edit] Poll^{[Original Bullshit]}

[edit] Favorite Pages ^{[Original Bullshit]}

EPIC FAIL!
Fisher Price
Mr winkler is GAY
feedback
nobody cares
HowTo:Get Banned
Template:cn2[Original Bullshit]
Template:username I am sure it's <insert name here>'s favorite too
Template:ad Because I can't get enough useless annoying banner ads here. 
Peer I don't know why it is a favorite. That asshole keeps reseting my IRC connections
Formula Floor The best new racing series out there. 
Main Page Am I the only one that considers this page on their favorites.
Uncyclopedia:Fundraising
Do NOT click any links! - No seriously don't
Humanity: A Retrospective - Damn you blew it all up.
Huff Log Fisher Price 2. - This was funny LMAO. Also check the QDB Entry to see what this article was about.

[edit] Created Pages ^{[Original Bullshit]}

Hijacked Domain
Kansas City Royals - as an IP
Template:driver
Template:User 921
Template:User Feedback 
Template:Yes or No Who wouldn't?
Uncyclopedia:Templates/Userboxes/General - Page Split
Uncyclopedia:Templates/Userboxes/Affiliation with Conspiracies or Other Organizations - Page Split
Uncyclopedia:Templates/Userboxes/Attitude - Page Split
Uncyclopedia:Templates/Userboxes/Computing - Page Split
Uncyclopedia:Templates/Userboxes/Games - Page Split
Uncyclopedia:Templates/Userboxes/Groups - Page Split
Uncyclopedia:Templates/Userboxes/Mental maladies - Page Split
Uncyclopedia:Templates/Userboxes/Music - Page Split
Uncyclopedia:Templates/Userboxes/Ninjas - Page Split
Uncyclopedia:Templates/Userboxes/Nonsensical - Page Split
Uncyclopedia:Templates/Userboxes/Self-referential - Page Split
Uncyclopedia:Templates/Userboxes/War, violence and giant explosions - Page Split
Uncyclopedia:Templates/Userboxes/Unknown Foreign Content - Page Split
Uncyclopedia:Templates/Userboxes/Bullet - speak to someone you hate!!! - Page Split
Uncyclopedia:Templates/Userboxes/Typo - For htose fo us stlil in Keyboardign 101 - Paeg Spilt
Uncyclopedia:Templates/Userboxes/Mindspeak — for people who speak their minds. - Page Split
Template:User likes goats - I also made this template for wikipedia. 

[edit] Awards^{[Citation not needed at all; thank you very much]}

“Hard to belive that I get anything at all.”

~ Sawblade5 on Awards

[edit] Main Awards ^{[Citation not needed at all; thank you very much]}

This user has been pwn3d by democracy[Original Bullshit] , and will be returning shortly.[Original Bullshit] See why this unpopular user got banned, and maybe nominate someone you don't like for the same fate![Original Bullshit]

I won this at 16:22, 27 October 2007 and was blocked for 1 second by Hinoa
Useless Gobshite of the Month May 2008

CloroxQuest award This user has successfully[Original Bullshit] found Clorox's hidden links.[Original Bullshit]

Observe this giant angry tilde

Due to the regrettable fact that you have entirely forgotten to sign your posts, the entirety of Uncyclopedia is very mad at you. This is rather unfortunate as many of us are capable of summoning Grues at will. I politely suggest that you quickly rectify this by using the four-tilde rule whenever you post on a talk page from now on. Copy and paste the following handy text for your own convenience in signing your posts: ~~~~

Awarded by: SPY Administrator (Complain|I rock|In memoriam) HMRFRA http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/6/61/Bluegarrisoncapsig.png http://uncyclopedia.org/images/thumb/b/b0/Sucrose_b.gif/30px-Sucrose_b.gif WH at 17:14, 19 November 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Awards That I got for voting good ^{[Original Bullshit]}

	The UnIdiot has chosen to give you an AK-47 as thanks for voting on HowTo:Be safe with guns, and hopes that you will remember to be safe with your shiny new rifle. Don't shoot your eye out!
	The UnIdiot also appreciates you putting up with his incredible amounts of whoring!

Awarded by: Thanks vote teh votzrs! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 00:34, Oct 19

Thank you, good sir, for realizing the importance of right arrow!

You have been singled by Doovad, yes indeed, DOOVAD, as deserving of thanks!

May your arrows always point in the "right" direction (punny!) and may you carry these lessons with you forever!

Thanks for the vote.

Awarded by: Sir FS Doovad Read You got somethin to say? at 02:35, 20 October 2007 (UTC)

You voted... ...for Francis Winkler! In the name of all state-employed public educators of unstraight persuasion everywhere, thank you!

Awarded by: Thanks! --Sir Andorin Kato CUN and Bombad General [This] [That] [The baseball bat] 01:58, 3 December 2007 (UTC)

Thanks again for voting, - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 01:59, Dec 7

A you voted wise Ninjastar You made the correct choice at NotM –AE

Awarded by: --Æ 00:49, 1 January 2008 (UTC)

There you go son! It's now your turn to take the good ol' family wooden condom. It's been in my family for years, passed through the generations. Slip it on boy, its your's now! Wear it with pride! The UnIdiot would like to thank you for voting his article to the front page!

Awarded At: 01:32, 12 January 2008

	The Led Balloon thanks you for helping him to spread awareness of the plight of Ogle.
	Beware the white stuff!

Awarded by and at P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 04:22, Jan 14
THINKER Loves You Award
Hey there Sawblade. A user that kinda snuck up on Uncyc, ready to cut through voting templates with his razor-sharp opinions. Lethal.

Anyway, thank you for your vote in the Writer of the Year competition. From the bottom of my pillow-soft, under-ripened heart, I do so appreciate that you like some of those articles I wrote.
Awarded by: THINKER at 18:57, 2 February 2008 (UTC)

	All Praise and Glory Be Yours!
	You have been emphatically thanked for voting for EPIC FAIL! on VFH.
	Due to the nature of the article, your thanks
	template has been stolen from the template
	that tells people a user has been infinibanned.
	EPIC FAIL!

Awarded by: _^(sir)Fag!chat|pee|fail|vote! at 17:04, February 4, 2008

Inorian's ambiguity award

Congratulations! Inorian has given you this template because you did something he either approved of, disapproved of, or doesn't care about. Regardless of why you should be honoured. Inorian has graced you with his ambiguity or apathy. Whatever.

Awarded by: Inorian the Eternal | HOWL AT ME! [MUN] [IAA] [RANDOM CRAP] at 03:08, 14 February 2008 (EST)

Thanks! Award
For voting Why?:Am I a Power Ranger? into the top ten articles of 2008! Have fun!
Awarded by ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ at 23:52 1 February 2009
I send you wishes of glad tidings... Award
...for your vote on Uncyclopedia:Potatochopper of the Year. Now I must leave and figure out what I am going to do next as not to lose your respect.
Awarded by: Dame http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/b/b2/PPsigPPlips.gifGUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• at 00:15, 2 February 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Christmas Cards that I got for 2007

None - I wonder?

[edit] Christmas Cards that I got for 2008

[edit] Happy Hanukkah

PARTY LIKE IT'S 5769

if you're not Jewish, party anyway

Happy Hanukkah from Rabbi Techno
NOW START DRINKING

[edit] Happy Holidays from all of us at SysRq Waste Disposal and Grinder Co.

Happy Giftmas. ~Sissie

sirhttp://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/2/20/Err.gifsysrq @ 23:55 Dec 21

[edit] A FESTIVUS FOR THE RESTOFUS!

	Happy Festivus, from The Led Balloon and Jerry Stiller. Put up your Festivus Pole, air your grievances, and prepare for the feats of strength, for festivus cannot continue until I am pinned! Oh, and merry Christmas if you're into that sort of thing.
	It's a Festivus miracle!

- P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 20:20, Dec 21

[edit] Tis' The Season

PARTY LIKE IT'S SATURNALIA!

Io, Saturnalia!- Eat, Drink and treat your masters with disrespect!

Happy Hedonism from the Saturnalicius Princeps
NOW START DRINKING JAGERMEISTER WHILE WEARING UGLY SWEATERS AND SILLY HATS

[edit] Treat

Kip the Dip has given you a holiday candy cane! Eat it! NOW!!

[edit] Thank you!

that was sweet! Merry X-mas to you and yours!

[edit] During this season...

Yeah Happy/Merry whatever you believe/ride off to get presents from us at the Church of Assholes Who Make Fun of Churches of Assholes --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:31, 24 December 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Punch!

	Thanks for the card and Happy Boxing Day! So that's it for another year... now it's all turkey sandwiches and packing up the presents to sell on ebay. So take advantage of this last day to have the traditional punch-up with your family.
	-- http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/1/13/Sann_sig_lights.gif sannse http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/4/47/Sann_sig_tree.gif esnnas http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/1/13/Sann_sig_lights.gif

[edit] Whee!

BEWARE OF THIS GIFT! Darth Admin has seen your card, and knows that it is good. And as per the holiday season, he's giving you this nice Boxing Day card. He totally didn't forget about giving you a Christmas card. No way.

--SPY Administrator (Complain|I rock|In memoriam) HMRFRA http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/6/61/Bluegarrisoncapsig.png http://uncyclopedia.org/images/thumb/b/b0/Sucrose_b.gif/30px-Sucrose_b.gif WH 17:32, 26 December 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Festive greetings, etc.

And thanks for the card.  :) --T. (talk) 16:37, 1 January 2009 (UTC)