User:ScottBurnan/Groom of the Stool

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The current reigning Monarch, Elizabeth Von Saxe-Hamburg-Fickensheissfahrten, has her anus wiped by a lord.

“Groom my stool nigger!”

“Diana & Kennedy refused to groom my stool ... look what happened to them!”

“The reptilian Windsor family need stool groomers because they feed off of the low vibrational energy caused by the rubbing of their anuses.”

The Groom of the Stool is a servant who, among other duties, has the honourable task of cleaning a Monarch's anus after a bowl movement. The royal families of England have had stool groomers since the days of Henry VIII and over the years the position has been adopted by various other royal families. The position is a highly prized one and is usually only available to lords, bishops and "the most beautiful of children".



Other People with Stool Groomers[edit]

  • Elton John
  • Henry Kissinger
  • Freddie Mercury
  • Michael Jackson
  • Tom Cruise
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger
  • Simon Cowell
  • Harry Potter
  • Jade Goody
  • Doctor Who