User:Skillen

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Potatochopper of the Month Award Potatochopper of the Month January 2009

The Irish war of 2156 Cyborg hitler rewrite

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BK THIS USER IS A BLACK KNIGHT!!
DenmarkViking.jpg This user is a Viking and enjoys killing, looting and pillaging.
Towel migration.jpg This user knows the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything.
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Skillen is a God, and a pretty bad ass one at that.

Intro[edit]

Hello, and to those of you who don't know i am a God, and my names Skillen which is derived from my habit at being "Skilled at Killing" but besides that i have also done many other things such as creating the very first Ferret and Aardvark which everyone knows are the most powerful animals in the world.

History[edit]

Me shortly after landing holding a lightning bolt and wearing a fig leaf made of stone so you dont have to look at my massive genitals.

I was born a good 3 seconds after the big bang, just like every other god don't let them fool you. Things where boring for a while until 65 million years ago after drifting lazily through space for a couple eons I crashed onto this planet, accidentally killing a lot of Dinosaurs in the process, luckily all the large corpses gave me something to eat as new things were busy evolving, although i could have created a dish of sushi at anytime.

Early life[edit]

After early humans evolved i discover i could get you guys to worship me by displaying supernatural powers and blowing things up dramatically, which always gets peoples attention, kinda like the time George W. Bush blew up the world trade centers.

Godly times[edit]

I soon discovered that humans were quite gullible and could get them to do anything, and so it began, i would commonly tell groups of people that if they would go to war against another i would be on their side throwing lightning bolts and whatnot. after causing mass genocide for millennium i decided that it was getting quite boring and nothing ever changed so i bestowed upon man many luxuries as recorded in the book of Armaments "behold and i givith to you thine sacred gift upon mankind, the mustache and with it thine might save little bits of lunch to eat later in thine day or whatever the hell else you can come up with just don't eat pancakes with it, or waffles for that matter 'cause you'll get syrup in it and tha'd be gross...". But more on that later, a few other things iv done was spread news of the end of the world like telling the Mayans it would end in 2012 and Christians that Jesus would come back, lol can you believe that? those guys will listen to anything you tell them as long as your invisible and have a loud booming voice.

Future[edit]

Ya the sun blows up and yup I did it.How? you may be pondering with your feeble mortal mind but as I'll tell you its not actually that hard, lighting one is one thing but putting it out is a different matter. All you need is a mirror, yes a mirror you just show the sun its reflection and it dies just like that. "Impossible" you might be saying but remember how your mommy told you if you look into the sun you die? Its exactly like that, when the sun looks at himself he goes blind and dies. thats it. Kaput no more sun now shut the hell up with the "I'm cold" and don't touch the thermostat, they kill baby seals for their blubber to power that thing you know, and that causes global warming. Actually that wouldn't matter now with no more mister sunshine

Inventions[edit]

The Awetomic cannon.

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I actually found this on the internet but improved it a bit and had it on the George Bush page for a day but for TheLedBaloon huffed it for reasons unknown although it was allegedly coated with Anthrax therefore a biological hazard and disposed of properly (in his lungs).

lol Get it?.

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