User:Skinfan13/United States of America

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United States of America
Empire of Tyrannic Imperialism
EMPIRE!.PNG Imperialseal.PNG
Flag Coat of Arms
Motto: Kill Peace-Loving North Koreans
Anthem: Blood-Spangled Banner
USmap.PNG
Capital Washington, D.C.
Largest city New York City
Official language(s) English
Government Empire
Imperial Oppressor Satan
National Hero(es) Ronald McDonald
Established 1776
Currency Dollar
Religion Money

Being written from the perspective of Kim Jong Il


The United States of America is a country on the small, insignificant continent of North America. It is technically a constitutional republic, but in reality it is more like a hegemonic imperial empire of total evil. They are the second most arrogant world police force in all of history, behind the wicked British. The reason most scholars have concluded this is that Americans (people residing in the United Imperial States of America) preach ideals of liberty and justice, but in reality practice narrow-minded, ruthless, and dogmatic tyranny on the poor peace-loving land of North Korea and its dear friends, Iran and the People's Republic of China. Almost everything you read on google about America is a lie propagated by the evil Imperialist dogs who hold the world hostage. The following is the truth about the so-called "freedom-loving" skunks, as revealed by the Glorious Leader.

History[edit]

Colonial Imperialism[edit]

One Imperial Power always starts another, this is the correct logic as taught in Pyongyang University. Under this supreme logic, it can be concluded that the British Empire intended all along to plant its seed. This seed would grow into its child, which would inherit its legacy. This is the truth which has been discovered by the Glorious Leader and revealed to the world in order to bring bigger truth and enlightenment. The first act of imperialist aggression by the British in North America was in the year 1492 when their agent of imperial destiny descended upon the poor native peoples and stole their lands in pure capitalist fashion. This so-called Christopher Columbus was the founding father of America. With his blessing the imperial British began to kill all the innocent communist natives and take their lands. This is how the first British colony was started: the heavily armed ship, the Mayflower, brought soldiers to kill the peaceful communist Indians of Massachusetts. After they had done this, the British settled the land with their slaves. A few years latter the imperialist British sent another expedition to kill everyone in Virginia and take their lands.

After engineering evil diseases to kill even more native peoples, the new 'American' colonists founded governments. They would have you believe that they created democratic societies, and it is true! As every good worker knows, democracy is the most vile and evil of the tools of tyranny. But even so, they were hypocrites! These governments sent raiding ships to the Dark Continent to take people prisoner to be sold in evil capitalist fashion to dirty Americans! Democracy is slavery! The stupid Americans did not even pick the best workers to be their slaves. All smart people know that Koreans are the hardest working peoples in all the world, and North Koreans are harder working than vile South Koreans. In their imperialist stupidity, they ignored the best workers in the world, not that they would have been able to capture a single Korean, as was demonstrated later in history.

So-Called 'Revolution'[edit]

Lies!