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Welcome to Sonic80: UnNews Correspondent extraordinaire.
Currently finishing off old Articles I didn't quite abandon (see this and this).
UnNewses will recommence when they are finished.

October 27, 2020 00:44 UTC

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Oh, THAT game...

America: Oh, You mean 'Soccer'!

JOHANNESBURG, South Africa -- Confusion that has plagued the United States for over a week has finally subsided as the connection between football and soccer has been made. An official statement was issued late Friday night, via blog, by avid-American, Gus Himmel, where he criticized the World Cup for "mistakenly labeling this sporting event football when it is obviously that other one... the one the gay guys play; soccer!" He went on further to point out the differences between the two games citing "They don't wear gay short shorts in FOOTBALL."
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Whats this? Sonic80 is writing News again? Apparently... But what happened to all the old news articles you wrote Sonic80? Have no fear! They have been nicely collected HERE!

June 2010

BEST OF Sonic80:

"Damnit you are coming with me kid!"

Hostages taken, Mickey Mouse refuses to negotiate

ORLANDO, Florida - Late last night popular children's icon, Michael "Mickey" John Mouse announced, via his safe-house window in downtown Orlando, that he had taken 16 children hostage and is not willing to negotiate. He claims that he has been pushed to the edge of insanity, and just wants to give the world a taste of its own medicine for all of the "kicks in the crotch" he has received from "Those snotty-nosed bastards" over the years.
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Sonic80's non-UnNews Articles