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Not you again..? Sunday August 9, 2020
Zeichen 101.png Hello and welcome to my user page. Please wipe your feet on the mat before coming in. Please feel free to spread gossip on my talk page (nothing too technical mind, I only just learnt how to type!).
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User Page Contents

About Me

Hi, my name is Gareth and I live in a town called Retford. It was called Wetford before a visit by Jonathan Ross where the locals played a prank and changed the W to an R because they knew about his speech impediment.

I live in a one bedroom box known as the Batchelor Pad. The box compromises of four blue cardboard walls and the letters PERSONAL COMPUTER on the side.


I like to listen to smooth jazz music. This is where the saxophone, trumpets and guitars used in the creation of jazz music are placed into a blender (not to be confused with the Futurama character Bender) and served as delicious smoothies. Yummy!

I also go on my computer and wind the hours away posting pointless things about the radio and TV and how I loathe being a virgin how I have done it proper with a lady, with phrases like "1 $7µ(|{ |\/|¥ |\/|4|\||-|00Ð µp 4 £4Ð¥33 - 74|{3 7|-|47 £0023®$"!


“It's clear that this person is a completely inadequate spanner...”

~ George W. Bush on the toilet

“22 years, a 7 on Hot or Not and a virgin? Surely not?”

~ Oscar Wilde on tghe-retford


For you serious types out there, or if you really what to know more about me, I also have a userpage on Wikipedia that parodies this one. There's was a picture of me there, but someone got a bit jealous and huffed it (maybe not)...


  1. This page will not render correctly on Internet Explorer 6 Service Pack 1 and earlier. This also applies to all Trident-based browsers. This is because Internet Explorer won't draw things properly and insists on whacking a white background on every image. Trident V (the Internet Explorer 7 layout engine) should after 10 years, fix this problem. My masterpiece of a user page is best viewed with Mozilla Firefox and other recently released Gecko-based browsers or with the sparkly Opera web browser.

See also

This is a Uncyclopedia user page.

If you find this page on any site other than Uncyclopedia someone ripped this page off of me. Please feel free to take it back. The user this page isn't friends with any site other than Uncyclopedia itself. Praise Uncyclopedia! The gorgeous page is located at

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