User:The fatgoat/Idiocracy

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Idiocracy is a political system where the common people, known as the moronocate (or a constituduncey), vote to decide the future of their country. More simply, it is a government of the stupid, by the stupid, and for the stupid. The term derives from the Greek words "idios", meaning "incompetent dumbass", and "cracy", meaning "government ruled by". Recent study, however, has shown that the original term was, in fact, idiocrazy.

Idiocracy is similar to dumbocracy, in that they are exactly the same thing; however, the two are not to be confused. Idiocracy is highly unintelligent, while dumbocracy is just plain dumb.


Traditional idiocracies are born on their own. Recent practices of idiocracy-spreading have also resulted in the creation of various idiocracies around the world. Some idiocracies are formed by the gradual devolution of democracies, but some people challenge this, suggesting that all existing idiocracies were created in their current state by a supremely unintelligent being. Scientists still maintain that idiocracies poof out of nowhere just to annoy us all.


The earliest known instance of idiocracy was in the government of Ancient Greece. A group of rich, white men would congregate in a large public building every week or so to waste the money of the public with shouting matches and toga parties. Anyone who called this madness was instantly kicked into a deep, giant pit and informed that it is, in fact, Sparta. Little is known of who proposed the system, but many political scientists suggest it was the idea of Idiocrates, partly due to the similarities of the names, but largely because both idiocracy and Idiocrates are idiotic.

When the Roman Empire came across Greece, they were so amazed with such an incredibly unintelligent government that they completely destroyed the entire civilization and took the idea of idiocracy as their own. However, as the Roman idiocracy became more intelligent, the Roman Empire gradually declined until it gave out and was replaced by the Mongoloid system of barbarian rule. The during following period known as the Dim Ages, little went on in the world of idiocracy. What little did go was instantly raped and pillaged.

In 1215, the Magna Carta established a body of the biggest idiots in England known as the Largely Insignificant Council (an early Dumbliament), which only really met to give the king his allowance and occasionally ground him for a couple weeks. Sometimes, they would decapitate him. It didn't really do much, but people like to think it did.

This continued on for a while until the Unlightenment radicalized the idea of idiocracy with the use of key ideas such as ignorance and irrational thought. Around this time, North American colonists became upset about the fact that the King of England taxed everything possible. What they liked even less was that they could not elect a couple of assholes to prance around and act generally stupid in English Dumbliament, hence the catch phrase "No taxation without letting us send more ignorant buffoons to join the ignorant buffoons in Dumbliament!" Thus, these colonists seperated from England in 1776 and established their own idiocracy, which in the end turned out to be just as stupid.

Thirteen years later, France would behead all of its noblemen to ensure a new wave of brainless stupidity would sweep across the upper class. Instead, they got Robespierre and turned into pussies.

Idiocracy has also been found to be in effect amongst the primitive bushmen tribes of Africa, which in and of itself explains why they have yet to learn that they can simply go to the grocery store instead of running around half-naked and covered in war paint or sacrificing virgins to appease the funny-looking men in khaki vests.

Since then, idiocracy has quickly become the most prevalent system of government in the world, surviving the rise and fall of Moronunism after World War II. It continues to grow today as many idiocracies around the globe regularly partake in invading non-idiotic countries and creating more idiocracies.

Direct Idiocracy[edit]

Direct idiocracy is where the moronocate, or common people, directly vote on everything. It's quite simple, really. However, many dispute that because of higher levels of density, direct idiocracies tend to be unstable and may collapse into black holes, instantaneously sucking all nearby matter inside. However, most direct idiocracies have instead collapsed into small, white dwarves with long beards and a natural affinity for battle axes. However, direct idiocracy has been notably successful amongst small groups of people, though groups of small people tend to encounter problems later in life as everyone dies off.

Representative Idiocracy[edit]

Representative idiocracy is based upon the idea that the total stupidity of a government can be increased if the decisions are made by a group of the dumbest people in society. Thus, representative idiocracy is more efficient in creating stupidity.


Various groups of people are organized into districts, often by dumbasses or assholes. Each district gets together every so often to either reelect the idiot who currently represents their district, or, on rare occasion, vote an even dumber person into office. Sometimes, however, this process fails to work due to some people's inability to figure out how to vote.

These elected idiots then meet to create and pass bills to either stupefy existing government organizations or create such pointless organizations. To ensure that these organizations have a maximum concentration of low intelligence, positions in the organizations are filled with the least-qualified candidates for the job.

Sometimes bills will create stupid or pointless laws that no one cares about.

On a more daily basis, the body of idiots will pass various pork products. Assumedly, this means that they pass around sausages and strips of bacon as free food for everyone. However, sometimes this pork is actual legislation, which everyone almost always unanimously votes in favor of. This pork is then sent to another body of idiots, who repeat the same process and find the bacon to be quite tasty. Afterwards, the pork is put on the desk of the head of state, where he immediately gives it his stamp of approval and everyone feasts on a wonderful meal of spam.

Head of State[edit]

The head of state is elected every couple of years or so, though he may sometimes stay in power as long as he likes. Most countries require that the head of state be a very old, rich, white Christian male with an IQ of at most 12, who was born in the country and can stand on one foot for a couple hours. Other countries are more lax and ignore how long the candidate can stand on one foot, though this lax of requirements often results in a sudden, violent candidacy diarrhea. The head of state is elected by how much weight he can lift with his testicles, though sometimes a panel of men in huge black dresses will elect him. His general job is to be an asshole. Often, he has a series of assholes and dumbasses who advise him on how to continue in his constant output of mindless idiocy. They are stored in his cupboard and fed on bones and dog treats.


Some argue that a representative idiocracy is often more dense than a direct idiocracy, and thus the representative idiocracy should be the one to collapse into a black hole and suck in all nearby information. However, everyone knows this is wrong because representative idiocracy is well known for sucking in all information and destroying it.

Theocratic Idiocracy[edit]

By far the most radical form, theocratic idiocracy, or idiocrazy (not to be confused with idiocrazy), rejects the idea of normal idiots running government affairs in favor of bat fuck insane idiots. Supporters of this are called fundamentalists for the reason that it's fun to mock them, and also because most have spent at least half their life in some insane asylum or another. Opponents are known as Godless communist atheist fascist totalitarian gay liberal hippie illegal immigrant terrorists who hate freedom.

Conflict with Evolution[edit]

Idiocracy has often been in conflict with Evolution ever since Charles Darwin made it up for no reason in particular. In recent years, the mere existence of idiocracy has been found to prove Evolution to be complete, total bogus. Supporters argued idiocracy mandates that stupidity is in some way beneficial to society, while evolution says something no one really bothered learning or even finding out. When confronted with this logic, Darwin short circuited and his head a sploded, making the world 2% dumber.

See Also[edit]