User:Todd Lyons

http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/8/87/GUN.png Grand Cross of the Order

This user has been an Admin on Uncyclopedia for 3 years, 11 months and 24 days.

This user is happy to help n00bs. Leave a message here.

This experienced editor is seeking to adopt new users.

This user has adopted Fahrenheit.

101 This user has written 101 articles because they like to keep busy while shirking real life responsibilities.

31 This user has recorded 31 audio files because they love the sound of their own voice.

This user denies any involvement with the cabal. There is no cabal.

This user is Canadian ...and knows what a block heater is!!

This user spends more time with a penguin than with a window.

This user contributes with Debian because the swirl is hypnotic.

This user believes Iceweasel is less offensive than the copyrighted alternative.

This user is a reporter for UnNews because they couldn't get a job at a real newspaper.

This user is an announcer for UnNews because no reputable broadcaster would hire them.

Todd Lyons is an UnTunes contributor. Hearing protection should always be worn within fifty yards of them.

This user plays bass, because it attracts groupies without the need for excessive rehearsal time.

This user plays guitar because it attracts more groupies, and gets more solos than the bass.

10,000 This user has contributed 10,000 pints points to the Uncyclopedia Folding@home Team.

This user has tested positive for INTJ on the Myers-Briggs Test. Groovy, baby!

This user is an evil clone of Bear.

This user is an evil clone of The Bard.

This user is an evil clone of Death Cab for Cajek.

My Last.fm Recent Playlist

Alleged Works of Fact

[edit] Recent Activity

[edit] Featured

1. Fecal E.Coli—Featured November 24-25, 2005. (amazing art by RadicalX).
2. The Night After Christmas—Featured December 26-27, 2005. (art by RadicalX and Mhaille).
3. Richard M. Stallman—Nominated by Sikon. Featured February 11-12, 2006. (photos by Doug and Mahroww).
4. OCD—So nice, it was featured twice! February 22, 2006, 12:11 AM - 12:18 AM and February 26-27, 2006. (M&Ms by MoneySign).
5. The Root of All Evil—Nominated by SimulacrumCaputosis. Featured May 6-7, 2006.
6. On a stick—Nominated by OsirisX. Featured May 21-22, 2006.
7. Embracing Mediocrity—Three days from completion to front page featuredom. Thanks everyone! Nominated by Winston. Featured June 2-3, 2006.
8. Oscar Mayer—Nominated by Kaizer the Bjorn. Featured June 4-5, 2006. My first back-to-back feature!
9. Patriotism—A collaboration with Claudius Prime and Mhaille Featured June 13 2006
10. HowTo:Get Banned—Nominated by Anonymous IP. Featured July 23-34, 2006.
11. Horton Hires a Ho—Nominated by Rcmurphy. Featured October 14-15, 2006. (book cover by InfiniteMonkey).
12. The Complete Idiot's Guide To Talking To Women—Nominated by emc. :) Featured November 23-24, 2006.
13. Dear John letter—Nominated by Hardwick Fundlebuggy. Featured December 8, 2006.
14. The Vagina Monologues—Nominated by Hindleyite. Featured December 10, 2006.
15. Life's Answerable Questions—Featured December 26, 2006.
16. Ecky-Thump—Nominated by Mhaille. Featured May 17, 2007.
17. Middle-Aged Suburban White Guy Rap—Nominated by Kip the Dip. Featured December 3, 2007.
18. Frédéric Chopin's Guide to Better Lawn Care—A collaboration with Somey. Nominated by Cs1987. Featured September 5, 2008.
19. Ronnie James Dio's Big Book of Nursery Rhymes—Nominated by Anonymous IP. Featured October 1, 2008.
20. Kinsey Report No. 3: Sexual Behavior in Hamsters—Nominated by Romartus Featured May 19, 2009.
21. Dear Diary—Nominated by LongLiverh3. Featured June 7, 2009.
22. I Like Cats (The Other White Meat)—Nominated by Necropaxx. Featured June 10, 2009.
23. Billy Graham—Featured June 21, 2009.
24. Failure University—Featured June 27, 2009.
25. Fake announcer voice—Nominated by Thekillerfroggy Featured August 6, 2009.

[edit] On VFH Now!

Nothing! Please nominate one of my articles on VFH!

[edit] Complete Works

• Bibliography

And special thanks to some of the great users who've made my articles better: Mhaille, Hardwick Fundlebuggy, Claudius Prime, Prettiestpretty, Some user, Procopius, Romartus

Project Initiatives

• Uncyclopedia:Folding@home (founder)

• Uncyclopedia:Hall of Shame (founder)

• UnNewsAudio (founder)

• UnPoetia (founder)

• Portals — Film • Theatre • Television

Possibly Contributions, But Possibly Not

• Huffed ~1000 broken redirects from Undictionary, Jan 2006.
• Huffed ~1300 articles from Uncyclopedia, Forest Fire Week, Nov. 2006.
• Linked most of the days (January 1 to December 31) to the Anniversaries Project.
• Founded the "Welcoming Committee" (Mhaille says so, anyway :) ...I'm not so sure).
• Named the Uncyclopedia:Departure of Fun, the Uncyclopedia:Poo Lit Surprise's Poet Lowrate award, and BENSON'S 3-D HOUSE OF PANCAKES.
• Started the "Slut List" thing. (Sorry. Really. Who knew it would turn out so wrong?)
• Resigned as an admin over the FFW kafuffle, but was abducted again by the powers that be. ;-)
• Made a serious effort to take Uncyclopedia less seriously by creating amusing and talented socks.

Other sites I recommend

• BBspot (e.g.: Microsoft Nearing Completion of Death Star)
• Kubuntu - My desktop OS of choice! Gorgeous, stable, and functional.
• Ubuntu - Runs my 1.5 Ghz laptop like a dream! It's also more user-friendly than Kubuntu, if that matters to you. Fewer knobs and switches to get lost in -- it just works.
• DistroWatch - News for geeks curious about taking the open source plunge.