# User:Trar/old userpage

This is my old userpage, before it was renovated on June 9, 2007. The reason this is here is for historical purposes. I renovated it because let's face it, this is just too cluttered, too much to handle! I wanted something different, something new, something other than this. Something that has less of an impenetrable shell of templates, quotes and other stuff, and more actual content and information on the inside. Note that I also brought back the most recent menu bar BEFORE the renovation. So, without further adieu, I present you, my old userpage, exactly before it was renovated:

|u|n|c|y|c|l|o|p|e|d|i|a|
is my anti-drug
The one and only....Trar!

(even on Uncyclopedia my Internet alias still dazzles all)

Hold on!
(you don't have to)

Okay, now on with the userpage....

 This user smells funny...and has been awarded been given got a new car smell-scented air freshener.

 You have been cited in Uncyclopedian Bios.Apparently you are "notable".Don't ask me why; I think you're lame.

 THIS USER DOES NOT NEED MORE COWBELL! STOP STOP STOP NOW!

 THIS USER NEEDS MORE GROG! GO GO GO NOW!

For those who are easily amused, Uncyclopedia has a totally unrelated article about:

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Did you know…
...that Trar is not addicted to Cowbell anymore????

“Oooh...shiny colors and flashy pictures......”

~ You on Trar's Userpage

“Huh?”

~ Trar on Euroipods

I grant Benson a full apology. However, I still don't like him. I am a strong Anti-Bensonite now. Watch out, Benson!”

~ Trar on Benson

“What?”

~ Master Chief Petty Officer SPARTAN-117 on being quoted

“Trar, may the QuickVFD be with you.”

~ Braydie on vanity articles and malicious user page edits

“No.”

~ God on Oscar Wilde's statement above

“Trar has glasses.”

~ Captain Obvious on Trar

“Heil!”

~ Trar on his parents

“Shit!”

~ Trar on The Thought Police coming to arrest him, since they think he is CRIMETHINK

“He is most definitely CRIMETHINK. He is our greatest enemy, and must be vanquished!”

~ Big Brother on Trar

“I AM NOT CRIMETHINK!”

~ Trar on CRIMETHINK

“Fuck you!”

~ Trar on Big Brother

“Totemize him!”

~ The Inquisition on Trar

“I think that's enough quotes now.”

~ Famine on Trar's quotes

trar
What Trar Looks Like:
Real Name: Call me whatever you like.
Age: Cheese.
Gender: MALE, BITCH!
Member since: 17:56, 26 December 2006 (we're not really sure though)
Weight/Mass: It's embarassing!
Occupation: Slave
Favourite Article: No favorite have I. Okay, I admit, Nihilism is pretty close.
Least Favorite Uncyclopedia In-joke: None.
Weapon of Choice: Depending on the situation, it would have to be either a bad-ass quarter gun, a toy ray gun, or a battle rifle.
Insult Swordfighting Level: Huh? What's insult swordfighting???????
Favorite Game: Zork Crackdown Grueslayer Kingdom of Loathing!
How Cool Is Trar?: Infinitely cooler than <insert name here>.
Infobox ripped off legally taken from AAA! This message added by AAA himself.

 CONGRATULATIONS!If you made it through all those templates and quotes, you're a trooper.

Welcome to Trar's Userpage!

I was M0000ARG11S, and not proud of it.

I have joined the The Grue Army, and you may now refer to me as

Sir(Braydie said i'm not a sir) Trar, Soldier of The Grue Army, Red Squadron

Oh yeah, I also play Kingdom of Loathing now. If you want to find me, my ID number is #1334618, I am a Turtle Tamer under the name Trar(that's my Internet alias), and no, i'm not selling you my fuckin' awesome custom outfit.

Curious about my custom outfit? If you want to see it THAT BAD, register a profile on KoL and try to find a player whose ID is #1334618 and whose username is Trar. That's me, and my custom outfit is listed on my profile page. Trust me, it's awesome! Don't worry, KoL is set up so you can't spend a huge amount of time on it(unless you're careful), and if you don't like it, your profile is deleted if it's inactive for 60 days.

AND NO, I AN NOT ADVERTISING THE KINGDOM OF LOATHING, OR MY PROFILE ON KoL, THIS IS ONLY FOR IF ANYONE WANTS TO CONNECT WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

^^^^Whoo! There! I hope you got the message!^^^^

I can even be found on Xbox Live. My Gamertag is, you guessed it, Trar!(oh i am so overreactive, aren't i?)

I've discovered IRC, and its wonderful magic abilities. Funny things can happen there, as seen in the following transcripts:

<UNKNOWNFILE> Carps <Trar> Are fish, and when hickory-smoked, taste good.

Every day, at least one person will be killed. Today a person has died by way of being roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris.

Currently working on Game:Grueslayer and would appreciate volunteers. Game:Grueslayer is found at the ending of The Abyss.

Try this if you can't beat The Abyss by yourself.

YES, I DID CREATE IT MYSELF!

Barney is the source of children's television EVIL!!!! HE MUST DIE!!!!!!!!!!!

## The Story Of How Trar Came To Be!

Trar "He Doesn't Have A Last Name" Sr. (or Jr., his birth files are actually hentai crap) was born on a 'whim', as most overused, cliched Uncyclopedia celebrities would say. His early childsh00d is blurry, so we'll skip that. (he probably was in planning.......muahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Trar's former home before and after Hurrikane Katrina.

Trar once went to the beach, and after a severe sunburn, got BLOBS OF SALINE ALL OVER HIM! EWWWWW! (true story) (dear god kill me now, that was a link to a WIKIPEDIA ARTICLE!)

Trar eventually found a Sega Genesis in a dumpster and contracted Ebola. The Ebola part is pointless, so Chuck Norris cured him. However, the Genesis changed his life.....

By introducing him to video games!

Also, Trar admits this biography sucks ass.

You have two cows.
 "Beware of Flesh Eating Bovines"Devour their flesh, before they devour yours!
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Trar/old userpage.

You have two cows is the philosophical truth of the entire world.[1] All categories except Category Nine (How mooriginal) may contain contributions from the Internet as well as Uncyclopedia contributors. Mathematical proof that you have two cows lies in moometric identity:

${\displaystyle Moo\cdot \left(\sin \left(Cow_{A}\right)+\cos \left(Cow_{B}\right)\right)\,\!=2\cdot {Cows}}$

This mathematical proof can also be written with the second moometric identity:

${\displaystyle \log _{moo}{\left(Cow_{A}\right)}+\log _{moo}{\left(Cow_{B}\right)}\,\!=\log _{\left(2\,Cow\right)}{\left(Moo\right)}}$

Where Moo is the universal moometric constant.

A long-standing tradition of mathematics has been the discovery of new truths pertaining to two-cow ownership. Currently, 45,893 45,894 45,895 45,896 45,897 45,898 45,899 45,900 two-cow truths are known. The complete list are given in the pages following. Nostradamus demonstrated in 1555 that the total number of two-cow truths is infinite.

A related but much more difficult problem is the identification of philosophical truths involving the ownership of three cows. An infinite number of these is also expected to exist, although this is unproven. To date, very few three-cow truths are known to exist, all of which have yet to be proven. In coming years this problem is expected to become much more important, as Microsoft has announced that the next version of Windows will require users to have three cows, or, alternatively, two overmilked ones. Linux however only needs a pint of milk, but you need to deliver the milk through the command prompt with the use of four pipes, an awk and a sed.

1. Except Soviet Russia. In Soviet Russia, two cows have YOU!!

 Uncyclopedia presents: the You have two cows anthology! “You say you have two cows, but that's just what they want you to believe. They are in fact two lizards in disguise, part of a secret cabal that runs the world.”~ David Icke on You have two cows