This is my old userpage, before it was renovated on June 9, 2007. The reason this is here is for historical purposes. I renovated it because let's face it, this is just too cluttered, too much to handle! I wanted something different, something new, something other than this. Something that has less of an impenetrable shell of templates, quotes and other stuff, and more actual content and information on the inside. Note that I also brought back the most recent menu bar BEFORE the renovation. So, without further adieu, I present you, my old userpage, exactly before it was renovated:
is my anti-drug
(even on Uncyclopedia my Internet alias still dazzles all)
If you want to read Trar's Userpage, you must read The Copyright Disclaimer Fine Print first:(you don't have to)
Keep all guards and shields in place. Batteries not included. Offer void where prohibited by law. Allow 6-8 weeks for delivery. Do not light near face. Slippery when wet. Keep fingers and toes away from moving parts. Objects may be closer than they appear. Read and understand the owner's manual. Some assembly required. If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding. The white zone is for loading and unloading only. Parental guidance advised. No user serviceable parts. Packaging may smother children. Keep left. Do not remove this tag. Hearing protection must be worn. May cause severe burns. Euphemisms are for the differently-brained. Not suitable for human consumption. Caveat nausem. It is forbidden to piss into the wind. Shuttlecraft should not exceed warp 7.5. May cause anal leakage. Management is not responsible for lost or stolen articles. You will not suffocate if elevator stalls. My cat's breath smells like cat food. Tighten belts monthly. Consult your doctor if symptoms persist. Don't stand, don't stand so, don't stand so close to me. Product may differ from illustration. Insert TAB A into SLOT B. Clean your room. This is not the luggage tag specified by the Geneva convention. Side effects may include mild to moderate death or coma. Prosecutors will be violated. Bridge out. This spot reserved for general manager. Tow away strictly enforced. High voltage - Do not open. Pie may be hot. Breaking seals voids warranty. Line forms here. Do not feed the trolls. Contains scenes of graphic violence, full-penetration sexuality, and fuzzy bunnies - Viewer discretion advised. May contain
testiclesnuts. If the wind changes, your face will be stuck like that. Do not apply to or near mucous membranes. Trucks must report when lights flashing. No refund on anally-fitted rodents. Check your weapons at the door. Political incorrectness is strictly encouraged. Remove before flight. This page intentionally left blank. Gusty winds may exist. WARNING! LARK'S VOMIT! May explode if inserted incorrectly. Causes ebola in cockroaches. You'll put somebody's eye out with that thing. Change filter bag when full. Don't look down. Fat chicks need love too. Check pattern buffer before operating transporter. Don't make me angry. . . You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Start brain before engaging mouth. The doctor said you'd get fewer nosebleeds if you'd just keep your fingers out of there. Replace only with fuse of same type. Warp drive should not be engaged in space-dock. That's the one thing I could never stomach about Santa Carla: All the damn vampires. No one will notice this line. I am the one who all your base are belong to. Ho! Aha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust! Kingdom of Loathing! This template not for internal use.
|This user smells funny|
|This user may be Overly American. Brits may not understand his humor, only their humour. Don't change a thing to remedy this.|
|You have been cited in Uncyclopedian Bios.|
Apparently you are "notable".
Don't ask me why; I think you're lame.
|THIS USER DOES NOT NEED MORE COWBELL!
STOP STOP STOP NOW!
|THIS USER NEEDS MORE GROG!
GO GO GO NOW!
|Member of the Order of Uncyclopedia|
This person has successfully registered on Uncyclopedia. They
should be proud of themselves for making such a smart move.
|If you are offended by this article, consider tending your two cows instead!|
Member of the Order
“Oooh...shiny colors and flashy pictures......”
I grant Benson a full apology. However, I still don't like him.I am a strong Anti-Bensonite now. Watch out, Benson!”
“Trar, may the QuickVFD be with you.”
“Trar has glasses.”
“He is most definitely CRIMETHINK. He is our greatest enemy, and must be vanquished!”
“I AM NOT CRIMETHINK!”
“I think that's enough quotes now.”
|What Trar Looks Like:|
|Real Name: Call me whatever you like.|
|Gender: MALE, BITCH!|
|Member since: 17:56, 26 December 2006 (we're not really sure though)|
|Weight/Mass: It's embarassing!|
|Favourite Article: No favorite have I. Okay, I admit, Nihilism is pretty close.|
|Least Favorite Uncyclopedia In-joke: None.|
|Weapon of Choice: Depending on the situation, it would have to be either a bad-ass quarter gun, a toy ray gun, or a battle rifle.|
|Insult Swordfighting Level: Huh? What's insult swordfighting???????|
|Favorite Game: |
|How Cool Is Trar?: Infinitely cooler than <insert name here>.|
If you made it through all those templates and quotes, you're a trooper.
Welcome to Trar's Userpage!
I was M0000ARG11S, and not proud of it.
I have joined the The Grue Army, and you may now refer to me as
Sir(Braydie said i'm not a sir) Trar, Soldier of The Grue Army, Red Squadron
Oh yeah, I also play Kingdom of Loathing now. If you want to find me, my ID number is #1334618, I am a Turtle Tamer under the name Trar(that's my Internet alias), and no, i'm not selling you my fuckin' awesome custom outfit.
Curious about my custom outfit? If you want to see it THAT BAD, register a profile on KoL and try to find a player whose ID is #1334618 and whose username is Trar. That's me, and my custom outfit is listed on my profile page. Trust me, it's awesome! Don't worry, KoL is set up so you can't spend a huge amount of time on it(unless you're careful), and if you don't like it, your profile is deleted if it's inactive for 60 days.
^^^^Whoo! There! I hope you got the message!^^^^
I can even be found on Xbox Live. My Gamertag is, you guessed it, Trar!(oh i am so overreactive, aren't i?)
I've discovered IRC, and its wonderful magic abilities. Funny things can happen there, as seen in the following transcripts:
<UNKNOWNFILE> Carps <Trar> Are fish, and when hickory-smoked, taste good.
Every day, at least one person will be killed. Today a person has died by way of being roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris.
YES, I DID CREATE IT MYSELF!
The Story Of How Trar Came To Be!
Trar "He Doesn't Have A Last Name" Sr. (or Jr., his birth files are actually hentai crap) was born on a 'whim', as most overused, cliched Uncyclopedia celebrities would say. His early childsh00d is blurry, so we'll skip that. (he probably was in planning.......muahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Trar once went to the beach, and after a severe sunburn, got BLOBS OF SALINE ALL OVER HIM! EWWWWW! (true story) (dear god kill me now, that was a link to a WIKIPEDIA ARTICLE!)
By introducing him to video games!
Also, Trar admits this biography sucks ass.
INTERMISSION-THIS ARTICLE IS BORING!
| "Beware of Flesh Eating Bovines"|
Devour their flesh, before they devour yours!
You have two cows is the philosophical truth of the entire world. All categories except Category Nine (How mooriginal) may contain contributions from the Internet as well as Uncyclopedia contributors. Mathematical proof that you have two cows lies in moometric identity:
This mathematical proof can also be written with the second moometric identity:
Where Moo is the universal moometric constant.
A long-standing tradition of mathematics has been the discovery of new truths pertaining to two-cow ownership. Currently,
45,893 45,894 45,895 45,896 45,897 45,898 45,899 45,900 two-cow truths are known. The complete list are given in the pages following. Nostradamus demonstrated in 1555 that the total number of two-cow truths is infinite.
A related but much more difficult problem is the identification of philosophical truths involving the ownership of three cows. An infinite number of these is also expected to exist, although this is unproven. To date, very few three-cow truths are known to exist, all of which have yet to be proven. In coming years this problem is expected to become much more important, as Microsoft has announced that the next version of Windows will require users to have three cows, or, alternatively, two overmilked ones. Linux however only needs a pint of milk, but you need to deliver the milk through the command prompt with the use of four pipes, an awk and a sed.
- Except Soviet Russia. In Soviet Russia, two cows have YOU!!
|Featured Article (read another featured article)|
This article has been featured on the front page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
We now return to our regularly scheduled jokes, already in progress....
Thus Trar is an expert THIS HAS BEEN CENSORED, B1TCH!!!!!!!!! HAVE A F*****G F1ELD DAY MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, but we don't know how.
And for his illegally owned pet Grue. If you see him, contact the cops IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or the Queen Of Hearts. Or this guy, whichever comes first.
The following is a message from the local hippie group: We must save the Maine page!
Recently, Trar has broken his addiction to Cowbell.
(featued articles are in italics)
What Trar Likes
- Reading the block logs
- Editing and reading Uncyclopedia
- Reading Wikipedia (when I feel like doing research)
- Video games
- Lucky Charms!
- Mexican food
What Trar Dislikes
- His parents
- His brother
- 1337 5P34K
Happy Chairman Award
Recently, Trar has been giving this award out to users who contribute content that Trar finds funny.
Or just because Trar likes the recipent user.
| Not Cream of the Crap|
This article is not and will not be one of the Top 10 articles of 2005, 2006, 2007, and beyond(ish).