User:Trar/old userpage

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This is my old userpage, before it was renovated on June 9, 2007. The reason this is here is for historical purposes. I renovated it because let's face it, this is just too cluttered, too much to handle! I wanted something different, something new, something other than this. Something that has less of an impenetrable shell of templates, quotes and other stuff, and more actual content and information on the inside. Note that I also brought back the most recent menu bar BEFORE the renovation. So, without further adieu, I present you, my old userpage, exactly before it was renovated:


AntiFeatured.png

|u|n|c|y|c|l|o|p|e|d|i|a|
is my anti-drug
The one and only....Trar!

(even on Uncyclopedia my Internet alias still dazzles all)


Hold on!
If you want to read Trar's Userpage, you must read The Copyright Disclaimer Fine Print first:
(you don't have to)

Keep all guards and shields in place. Batteries not included. Offer void where prohibited by law. Allow 6-8 weeks for delivery. Do not light near face. Slippery when wet. Keep fingers and toes away from moving parts. Objects may be closer than they appear. Read and understand the owner's manual. Some assembly required. If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding. The white zone is for loading and unloading only. Parental guidance advised. No user serviceable parts. Packaging may smother children. Keep left. Do not remove this tag. Hearing protection must be worn. May cause severe burns. Euphemisms are for the differently-brained. Not suitable for human consumption. Caveat nausem. It is forbidden to piss into the wind. Shuttlecraft should not exceed warp 7.5. May cause anal leakage. Management is not responsible for lost or stolen articles. You will not suffocate if elevator stalls. My cat's breath smells like cat food. Tighten belts monthly. Consult your doctor if symptoms persist. Don't stand, don't stand so, don't stand so close to me. Product may differ from illustration. Insert TAB A into SLOT B. Clean your room. This is not the luggage tag specified by the Geneva convention. Side effects may include mild to moderate death or coma. Prosecutors will be violated. Bridge out. This spot reserved for general manager. Tow away strictly enforced. High voltage - Do not open. Pie may be hot. Breaking seals voids warranty. Line forms here. Do not feed the trolls. Contains scenes of graphic violence, full-penetration sexuality, and fuzzy bunnies - Viewer discretion advised. May contain testicles nuts. If the wind changes, your face will be stuck like that. Do not apply to or near mucous membranes. Trucks must report when lights flashing. No refund on anally-fitted rodents. Check your weapons at the door. Political incorrectness is strictly encouraged. Remove before flight. This page intentionally left blank. Gusty winds may exist. WARNING! LARK'S VOMIT! May explode if inserted incorrectly. Causes ebola in cockroaches. You'll put somebody's eye out with that thing. Change filter bag when full. Don't look down. Fat chicks need love too. Check pattern buffer before operating transporter. Don't make me angry. . . You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Start brain before engaging mouth. The doctor said you'd get fewer nosebleeds if you'd just keep your fingers out of there. Replace only with fuse of same type. Warp drive should not be engaged in space-dock. That's the one thing I could never stomach about Santa Carla: All the damn vampires. No one will notice this line. I am the one who all your base are belong to. Ho! Aha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust! Kingdom of Loathing! This template not for internal use.

Okay, now on with the userpage....



Corvette.jpg This user smells funny

...and has been awarded been given got a new car smell-scented air freshener.





Caternest.jpg You have been cited in Uncyclopedian Bios.
Apparently you are "notable".
Don't ask me why; I think you're lame.


No more cowbell! THIS USER DOES NOT NEED MORE COWBELL!

STOP STOP STOP NOW!


Grog THIS USER NEEDS MORE GROG!

GO GO GO NOW!




News-hindie.jpg If you are offended by this article, consider tending your two cows instead!




MUN.svg
Member of the Order
Uncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext.png
For those who are easily amused, Uncyclopedia has a totally unrelated article about:

Extension:DynamicPageList (DPL), version 3.3.2: Warning: No parameter option supplied for ' '. (Missing '=')


DramaticQuestionMark.png
Did you know…
...that Trar is not addicted to Cowbell anymore????







“Oooh...shiny colors and flashy pictures......”

~ You on Trar's Userpage


“Huh?”

~ Trar on Euroipods


I grant Benson a full apology. However, I still don't like him. I am a strong Anti-Bensonite now. Watch out, Benson!”

~ Trar on Benson


“What?”

~ Master Chief Petty Officer SPARTAN-117 on being quoted


“Trar, may the QuickVFD be with you.”

~ Braydie on vanity articles and malicious user page edits


“No.”

~ God on Oscar Wilde's statement above


“Trar has glasses.”

~ Captain Obvious on Trar


“Heil!”

~ Trar on his parents


“Shit!”

~ Trar on The Thought Police coming to arrest him, since they think he is CRIMETHINK


“He is most definitely CRIMETHINK. He is our greatest enemy, and must be vanquished!”

~ Big Brother on Trar


“I AM NOT CRIMETHINK!”

~ Trar on CRIMETHINK


“Fuck you!”

~ Trar on Big Brother


“Totemize him!”

~ The Inquisition on Trar


“I think that's enough quotes now.”

~ Famine on Trar's quotes





trar
What Trar Looks Like: Gslayer.PNG
Real Name: Call me whatever you like.
Age: Cheese.
Gender: MALE, BITCH!
Member since: 17:56, 26 December 2006 (we're not really sure though)
Weight/Mass: It's embarassing!
Occupation: Slave
Favourite Article: No favorite have I. Okay, I admit, Nihilism is pretty close.
Least Favorite Uncyclopedia In-joke: None.
Weapon of Choice: Depending on the situation, it would have to be either a bad-ass quarter gun, a toy ray gun, or a battle rifle.
Insult Swordfighting Level: Huh? What's insult swordfighting???????
Favorite Game: Zork Crackdown Grueslayer Kingdom of Loathing!
How Cool Is Trar?: Infinitely cooler than <insert name here>.
Infobox ripped off legally taken from AAA! This message added by AAA himself.



Award.png CONGRATULATIONS!
If you made it through all those templates and quotes, you're a trooper.



Welcome to Trar's Userpage!

I was M0000ARG11S, and not proud of it.


I have joined the The Grue Army, and you may now refer to me as

Grue Jammy.gifSir(Braydie said i'm not a sir) Trar, Soldier of The Grue Army, Red SquadronGrue Jammy.gif

Join today!


Oh yeah, I also play Kingdom of Loathing now. If you want to find me, my ID number is #1334618, I am a Turtle Tamer under the name Trar(that's my Internet alias), and no, i'm not selling you my fuckin' awesome custom outfit.

Curious about my custom outfit? If you want to see it THAT BAD, register a profile on KoL and try to find a player whose ID is #1334618 and whose username is Trar. That's me, and my custom outfit is listed on my profile page. Trust me, it's awesome! Don't worry, KoL is set up so you can't spend a huge amount of time on it(unless you're careful), and if you don't like it, your profile is deleted if it's inactive for 60 days.

AND NO, I AN NOT ADVERTISING THE KINGDOM OF LOATHING, OR MY PROFILE ON KoL, THIS IS ONLY FOR IF ANYONE WANTS TO CONNECT WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

^^^^Whoo! There! I hope you got the message!^^^^


I can even be found on Xbox Live. My Gamertag is, you guessed it, Trar!(oh i am so overreactive, aren't i?)


I've discovered IRC, and its wonderful magic abilities. Funny things can happen there, as seen in the following transcripts:

<UNKNOWNFILE> Carps <Trar> Are fish, and when hickory-smoked, taste good.



Every day, at least one person will be killed. Today a person has died by way of being roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris.






Currently working on Game:Grueslayer and would appreciate volunteers. Game:Grueslayer is found at the ending of The Abyss.

Try this if you can't beat The Abyss by yourself.

YES, I DID CREATE IT MYSELF!


Barney is the source of children's television EVIL!!!! HE MUST DIE!!!!!!!!!!!



The Story Of How Trar Came To Be![edit]

Trar "He Doesn't Have A Last Name" Sr. (or Jr., his birth files are actually hentai crap) was born on a 'whim', as most overused, cliched Uncyclopedia celebrities would say. His early childsh00d is blurry, so we'll skip that. (he probably was in planning.......muahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Trar's former home before and after Hurrikane Katrina.


Trar once went to the beach, and after a severe sunburn, got BLOBS OF SALINE ALL OVER HIM! EWWWWW! (true story) (dear god kill me now, that was a link to a WIKIPEDIA ARTICLE!)


Trar eventually found a Sega Genesis in a dumpster and contracted Ebola. The Ebola part is pointless, so Chuck Norris cured him. However, the Genesis changed his life.....


By introducing him to video games!

Also, Trar admits this biography sucks ass.



INTERMISSION-THIS ARTICLE IS BORING!

You have two cows.
Nuvola apps important blue.svg "Beware of Flesh Eating Bovines"
Devour their flesh, before they devour yours!
Correction: you had two cows.
Bouncywikilogo3.gif
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Trar/old userpage.

You have two cows is the philosophical truth of the entire world.[1] All categories except Category Nine (How mooriginal) may contain contributions from the Internet as well as Uncyclopedia contributors. Mathematical proof that you have two cows lies in moometric identity:

This mathematical proof can also be written with the second moometric identity:

Where Moo is the universal moometric constant.

A long-standing tradition of mathematics has been the discovery of new truths pertaining to two-cow ownership. Currently, 45,893 45,894 45,895 45,896 45,897 45,898 45,899 45,900 two-cow truths are known. The complete list are given in the pages following. Nostradamus demonstrated in 1555 that the total number of two-cow truths is infinite.

A related but much more difficult problem is the identification of philosophical truths involving the ownership of three cows. An infinite number of these is also expected to exist, although this is unproven. To date, very few three-cow truths are known to exist, all of which have yet to be proven. In coming years this problem is expected to become much more important, as Microsoft has announced that the next version of Windows will require users to have three cows, or, alternatively, two overmilked ones. Linux however only needs a pint of milk, but you need to deliver the milk through the command prompt with the use of four pipes, an awk and a sed.

  1. Except Soviet Russia. In Soviet Russia, two cows have YOU!!


Uncyclopedia presents: the You have two cows anthology!

Twocows.jpg

1. Analysis
2. Anime
3. Bovine Quotes
4. Cowmedy
5. Emootions
6. Endings
7. Famous Cows
8. Groups

9. This cow does not exist
10. In the Moos
11. Language of Cows
12. Literature
13. Moosical Moovements
14. Moovies
15. Non-Video Games
16. People

17. Politicowl Junk
18. Programming Languages
19. Religion
20. Software 'n Such
21. Sound of Moo-sic
22. Television
23. Travel
24. Video Games

24.3. Video Games Volume 2
25. World and Web of Cows
26. You Have n Cows
27. Science
28. Moodicine
29. Game Consoles
30. Game Genres
31. Capitalism

“You say you have two cows, but that's just what they want you to believe. They are in fact two lizards in disguise, part of a secret cabal that runs the world.”

~ David Icke on You have two cows


Related Articles[edit]

External links[edit]

What will happen to your two cows

Featured.png

Potatohead aqua.png Featured Article  (read another featured article) Featured version: 9 June 2005
This article has been featured on the front page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
Template:FA/09 June 2005Template:FA/2005


We now return to our regularly scheduled jokes, already in progress....

Thus Trar is an expert THIS HAS BEEN CENSORED, B1TCH!!!!!!!!! HAVE A F*****G F1ELD DAY MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, but we don't know how.

THEN Trar stumbled upon The Internet, then Wikipedia, then Uncyclopedia, then M0000ARG11S, and now Trar!

Trar is currently wanted by the Federal Bureau of Investigation (the FBI) and the Police for illegal use of Userboxes.

And for his illegally owned pet Grue. If you see him, contact the cops IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or the Queen Of Hearts. Or this guy, whichever comes first.

The following is a message from the local hippie group: We must save the Maine page!


Recently, Trar has broken his addiction to Cowbell.


Trar's Creations[edit]

(featued articles are in italics)

What Trar Likes[edit]

  • Reading Wikipedia (when I feel like doing research)
  • Video games
  • Lucky Charms!
  • Mexican food
  • Custard
  • Censors

What Trar Dislikes[edit]

I ain't kidding about the 1337.




Happy Chairman Award[edit]


Recently, Trar has been giving this award out to users who contribute content that Trar finds funny.

Or just because Trar likes the recipent user.

My Userboxes[edit]

Z This user has found the Twenty Treasures of Zork and beaten Zork: The Great Underground Empire.


Z2 This user has united the Golden Egg of Arkora and beaten Zork 2: Gruel and Unusual Punishment.


Zork This user edits the Zork trilogy.
Grueslayer.PNG This user created Grueslayer.
Grueslayer.PNG This user edits Grueslayer.
Grueslayer.PNG This user is a Grueslayer implementor.
Grueslayer.PNG This user has been eaten by a grue in Grueslayer.


Grueslayer.PNG This user finished Grueslayer on easy mode. What a pathetic pansy.


Grueslayer.PNG This user finished Grueslayer on hard mode, and is worthy of the title of Grueslayer!


Grueslayer.PNG This user slays grues in his/her sleep.


Grueslayer.PNG This user likes to play Grueslayer PvP.


ABYSS This user has survived the wretched dark place we call The Abyss.


A x2 This user is lucky to have survived going through the Grue-infested pit we call The Abyss more than once.


ABYSS x?,??? This user IS The Abyss.


Abyss This user edits The Abyss.


TA This user believes that you can never have too many text adventures on Uncyclopedia.
[insert content here] This userbox is a filler, and therefore looks ugly.


Wiki.png This user uses Uncyclopedia as his or her primary point of reference.
no cowbell This user has broken his/her addiction to Cowbell! Long shall they live and prosper!


MEH This user redefines lazy.
  1. REDIRECT Template:User explode
.EDOLPS A DAEH S'RESU SIHT Daeh-gnidolpxE.gif
http://skincareresourcecenter.com/images/MagicWand.jpg This user wishes they were an admin. Please grant them their wish.
Bananaseizure.gif This user will give you a seizure.
... This user would be a professional procrastinator, but he or she can't be bothered.
Nuvola apps important.png This user hates you and everyone you care about.
Deadbarney3.gif This user believes Barney is evil and therefore must die.
1+ This user has over 1 edit. Duh!
Ihasashuvel.jpg
This user gots a shuvel. Yes {{{1}}} does.
NO This user doesn't care.
AA! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAA!!!
This user is a boy and is made of slugs, snails and puppy dog tails.


Sign1.png This user is a mutant.
BS This userpage is bullshit.
usb This user likes to use userboxes.

Usb! No, really!


USB!!!!!11 NO, REALLY TRULY REALLY!!!!


RENT This space for rent.

Call 1-800-666-6666.

Firefox Logo.png This user believes the Mozilla Firefox could easily defeat Godzilla.

Gefahrensymbol F.png This user is a pyromaniac.


Nuvola apps important orange.svg This user should not be trusted.
US flag.png This user is American
...and unabashedly proud of it!
(List of American Uncyclopedians)
Sad clown.jpg
This user is a member of the Uncyclopedia Departure of Fun.
Anti-Benson.JPG This user denounces BENSON.


Mario-lo-res.jpg This user is a Gamer and therefore creepy.
750px-High voltage warning.svg.png No user serviceable parts inside.


This user is right-handed.

In Latin they would be Dexter.

Dexter.jpg
Numbersix.gif This user is not a number, s/he is a free wo/man!
Eeek! This user steals userboxes from random people's user pages.
Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow meow meow meow! MEOW!
Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Ruff! Ruff Ruff! Arf! Arf!
Bottlenose dolphin Eeek ahk sque'ek uhk kkkk'k squeek!
OBN.png This user is invisible, <insert name here> sees You but you don't see him/her. Tee hee!!

? This user is anonymous. That is, numbskull, he or she doesn't want you to know who he or she is.
sub subliminal!
Villianc.jpg This user denies any involvement with the cabal. There is no cabal.
Ubx-
Crapload
This user has a crapload of userboxes. To see more of them, go to nowhere.

Windows Logo.png This user uses Windows because he or she can't get enough of your lover.

The Worst Part of Censorship.jpg This *bleep* user likes to *bleep* the use of *bleep* *bleep* profanity *bleep*
1px;margin:1px;width:238px;background: #F0F8FF;"
style="width:45px;height:45px;background:#C0C8FF
text-align
center;font-size:14pt;" | typo-1
This use ris able to contribute with a babsic levle of Typo.
.sdrawkcab si resu sihT

!degnellahc-yllatnoziroh TON si resu sihT :etoN
Uncyclopedia elzzup otatop.jpg
Fortune cookie 20040628 223108 1.jpg This user is being held hostage in a Chinese fortune cookie factory! Democracy is three wolves and a sheep deciding what's for dinner. Help!
Crystal Clear app kcmdf.png This user likes to use redundant userboxes.
Napoleon4.jpg This user is not and has never been Napoleon.
Popeeyebeams.jpg This user is a complete, irredeemable mitten. He/she/it is Bat Fuck Insane, and deconstructs at the mitten.
Shyny ub.jpg This user is easily distracted by anything shiny.
Earth.gif This user can be found on the Uncyclopedia Frappr Map.
hey! The above wasn't my fault!


Temp This is a template userbox, to create userboxes from. Anyone with it on his/her page is clearly just looking for an excuse to have more Userboxes.
Potatohead aqua.png This user wants Reese's Peanut Butter Cup featured.

Color This user likes random colored userboxes.
Clown chili peppers.jpg This user fears the clowns.
Kid1.gif This user seriously needs to calm down.
File:Merc.jpg This user is a Mercenary and chooses their own wars to fight in.
1px;margin:1px;width:238px;background: #FFE0E8;"
style="width:45px;height:45px;background:#FFB3B3
text-align
center;font-size:14pt;" | bu-0
This user does not speak Bullet and may result in injury if does so.
1px;margin:1px;width:238px;background: #D0F8FF;"
style="width:45px;height:45px;background:#77E0E8
text-align
center;font-size:14pt;" | MS-2
This user is able to contribute through speaking his mind at an intermediate level.
Canadian snowman.jpg This user is cooler than you.
Stop hand.png This user has been blocked once while he was an earlier user, namely, M0000ARG11S.
Brain.gif This user's IQ is 109.

Monbags.jpg This user is POOR,

has never passed GO,

and never collected $200.00.


Ape.jpg This user is a member of the FUWAA Club. The Club that nobody cares about.
DramaticQuestionMark.png This user can also be found elsewhere on the internet.
Boredkid.jpg This user is a Registered User and they can upload images and move pages, whoopdie freakin doo.
no nj This user is not a Ninja, with no dominion over everything totally sweet.


SignLanguage.png This user understands American sign language.
UBX This user opposes other users screwing with his/her userboxes.
253951 photo.gif Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring....BANANAPHONE!!!!


Head on.gif

HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, available at Walgreens.

Grue Jammy.gif This user has joined The Grue Army to help Uncyclopedia kill vandals, and help users. Please join today!
Anti-Benson.JPG

This user is better than BENSON, and is an Anti-BENSON-ite! Muahahaha!

Che santoru.png This user celebrates the recent unbanning of ∩int∑ndorul∑z. Now that he is longer banned, let us hope he will come home.
Gold-bar.jpg
This user is a Golden User.
This space for rent.


No hammer and sickle.PNG This user is an

Anti-Communist,
... and is unabashedly American!

BROTRR This user is a proud Rigist.


17-G This user does not speak 1337 and furthermore believes 1337 to be an embarassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of 1337.
us-N This user is a native speaker of American English.
Gefahrensymbol E.png THIS USER HATES BENSON SO MUCH IT NEEDS CAPITALS AND THIS TEMPLATE.
Leftswordguy.gif An adventurer is this user! He or she plays Kingdom of Loathing. His/her ID number in the game is #1334618.
Stop hand.png This user has been blocked 2 times as a current user, namely, Trar.
Bmup smaller.jpg This user is part of The Proofreading Service.

Spellingnazi.png This user is a spelling Nazi. Beware their grammarsteeq.

External Links[edit]

Barney is evil!

Make your own signs!

253951 photo.gif Not Cream of the Crap
This article is not and will not be one of the Top 10 articles of 2005, 2006, 2007, and beyond(ish).