This article is attemping to control your mind.
| ...
| This user would be a professional procrastinator, but he or she can't be bothered.
|
| This user is a serial killer, and he/she is standing right behind you!!
|
| This user shot J.F.Kennedy. DON'T TELL THIS USER'S MUMMY!
|
| This user is a Ninjazi, with dominion over everything that goes "Sieg Heil".
|
| This user supports the Union of European Soviet Republics.
(Otherwise known as the EC)
|
| This is what happens to people who disagree with this user.
|
Don't make a move. I'm watching you.
| This user's IQ is OVER 9000!!!!!!.
|
| This user is fascinated by chaos theory. Probably, s/he doesn't really know but 'chaos' sounds faintly apocalyptic: bring on the carnage!
|
| nth
| WARNING: Keep away from this user as they love working out nth terms.
|
| This user collects userboxes as if they were trading cards hoping that they may be collectors items worth something in the future.
|
| Aspie with Humor
| This user has a sense of humor, in spite of his/her Asperger Syndrome.
|
| This user loves pi
|
<center> </center>
|
This user be getting drunk on the beer volcano.
|
| I played Grueslayer and all I won was this lousy userbox!
|
| ‽
| How dare you consider this user not awesome! How dare you not recognise the awesomeness of this user! This person uses the power of "How Dare You"!
|
|
| This user finished Grueslayer on hard mode, and is therefore a king/queen among men/women!
|
| IP
| This person's IP is 6.6.6.
|
| THIS USER IS ADDICTED TO COWBELL, AND SHOULD BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS.
|
| ABYSS
| This user has survived the wretched dark place we call The Abyss.
|
| C:\>_
| This user contributes using DOS.
|
| This user rejects the theory of global warming or at least thinks it's someone else's problem.
|
| This user studies psychology as it is really easy and sounds good at dinner parties.
|
| A x2
| This user is lucky to have survived going through the Grue-infested pit we call The Abyss more than once.
|
| Sense
| This user promotes the radical idea of having sense.
|
| bu-E
| This user killed 13 of his classmates in school speaking Bullet.
|
| TA
| This user believes that you can never have too many text adventures on Uncyclopedia.
|
| This user is a Registered User and they can upload images and move pages, whoopdie freakin doo.
|
| This user hates you and everyone you care about.
|
| This user seriously needs to calm down.
|
| This user will give you a seizure.
|
| This user is right-handed.
In Latin they would be dexter.
| 
|
| This *bleep* user likes to *bleep* the use of *bleep* *bleep* profanity *bleep*
|
| MEH
| This user redefines lazy.
|
Ubx-
Crapload
| This user has a crapload of userboxes. To see more of them, go to some other page.
|
 |
This user idolises Dr. House
and knows it's not Lupus.
|
| Official
| This user is official. They get all their user boxes from here.
|
| Color
| This user likes random colored userboxes.
|
| This user can see what you don't.
|
| This user is a Christian
(as long as they put a dollar in the box)
|
| Temp
| This is a template userbox, to create userboxes from. Anyone with it on his/her page is clearly just looking for an excuse to have more Userboxes.
|
| This User can Drift and beat D.K.
|
| This user is the random red applesauce that given his knee inside of your applesauce so you must deter him/her with your red applesauce.
|
| grue
| This user is grue years old. Woop-ti-doo.
|
| This user joined the Folding@home Team, because he/she has nothing better to do with his/her computer.
|
| This user uses Windows because he or she can't get enough of your lover.
|
| bu-N
| This user is a native speaker of Bullet and can fire high-caliber rounds in full-automatic mode.
|
<center> </center>
|
This user is not who you think he is. In fact, he is someone who you think is not he, who thinks he is (who you think is not - who is).
|
If you are a n00b who is looking at this, you have just exploded
This User a n00b is not, and approves that, Yoda does.
|
This user is EXTREMELY RANDOM Be advised: Approach with caution and a sense of humor.
|
| MS-N
| This user grew up in a forward-thinking family, and therefore always speaks his mind, you nerd.
|
| BK
| THIS USER IS A BLACK KNIGHT!!
|
| This user identifies as straight and so is probably homophobic.
|
| This user supports the Union of Eurabian Socialist Republics.
Death to America!
|
| WII
| This user prefers the Wii as 'it's the game play that counts'.
|
| This user plays games on the Nintendo GameCube as they broke their window with the Wii remote and can't afford another.
|
| Zork
| This user edits the Zork trilogy.
|
| Big Brother is watching this user...and YOU!
|
| This user is a miser, and couldn't be happier with his/her money!
|
| This user kicks butt at Tetris: not that that's anything to be proud of.
|
| This user is against computer and video game censorship and regulation as they like porn and violence (though not always at the same time).
|
| This user supports the European Reich.
Heil Hitler!
|
This user is a
Sniper and has his/her rifle pointing at your head.
| This user believes Barney is evil and therefore must die.
|
| This person helps reduce overpopulation by killing people, helping the environment.
|
This user is an
Assault Soldier and
is pWn1ng n00bs with his
quarter gun.
Number of people who tristmaster has owned and pwned at the same time at super smash bros. since you started reading this article.:
| ∞
| This user is an ageless Immortal or so they like to think.
|
| This user should not be trusted.
|
| LV-5
| This user considers him/herself a professional gamer and so has the worlds highest scores but no Job, money, friends or place to live.
|
| This User has never been punished on Un-Bestiary. Learn from their actions and act like them.
|
| This user is a zombie, and will think twice before messing with SCO again.
|
| This user is not a ninja because ninjas are gay.
|
| AA!
| AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAA!!!
|
| THIS IS SPARTA!
|
| This user will never forget October 23, 2008, the day that Wikia sold its soul.
|
| This user prefers to play games on a laptop as they don't have to stop to go to the toilet.
|
| This user prefers the Nintendo DS over the PSP as they have far superior multitasking abilities.
|
| RS
| This user plays RunEscape. Laugh at Pray for them.
|
| VIEW AT YOUR OWN RISK
This page is not appropriate for our more sensitive viewers. It may contain naughty, filthy things like breasts, boobies, tits, knockers or funbags. Nasty words like cock, fuck, capitalism, & Barbra Streisand may also appear in the text. Viewing by persons under the age of 18 is not recommended, no matter how much they want to see a page filled with cursing. That means you, <insert name here>. Yes, we know who you are & Jesus is watching you!
|
| DANGER
Grues Beyond this point. Please do not proceed unless you know how to stop a grue, or you want to be eaten.
|
this article is about me. me me me me me me me me mem mem emem memem emme memem mem ememmmmmemememememememememmemem,emeeemrmemememememememmemeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. ummm, yea anyway the point is. your gonna die soon. do you know why? its becouse your reading this article and saying candyman. your not? well then your very lucky, mostly becouse you'll live another 5 seconds. point is, your gonna die mostly becouse i kno where you live, and i know how to give directions to chuck norris. so he can kick your ass using a roundhouse kick.
[edit] biography
(speaking in 3rd person) tristmaster was born in a tropical paridise with many others. although unlike the many others, he didnt laugh at mexicans. he grew up to get accounts on many other sites, such as roblox, deviantart, urban rivals, and uncyclopedia. and thats it.
For all those who actually belive someone has killed me. THIS is what really happened. more realisticly, it's a futile attempt to beat me in SSB. and many other online things, as well as real life.
you will see this sign on the way to my domicile.
This is your fate when you get near me in SSB.
[edit] intrests
- death
- your mom
- something other than you
- uncyclopedia
- not getting his article huffed
- god
- ultimite jesus
- master hand
- crazy hand
- umm
- err
- yea.......
- ......................
- .......i got it
- he likes PIE!!!!!!!!!
- and ice cream
- and of course brownies
- play the game
- or ill kill you
- c'mon hop to it
- or ill get michael jackson to see you
- if your over 12
- ill get your future cellmate
- his name is bubba
- I bet you two will have lots of fun
- your sister
[edit] dislikes
- lust
- rape
- anything about sexual harrasment
- you
- educational programing
- many many other things
- and more....
- including the grue
- water grues
- shadow grues
- russian frues
- other grues
- eurgs
- anti-grues
- you again
- ..........prepare to die
[edit] what else?
acording to the diagnostic the patiant suffers from severe personality and social issues. fantisizes about killing anyone or anything that acts on his dislikes. and goes against his intrests.
-dr.pchycosis
WTF?
YES, THIS is an average encounter with me.
You shall bow down, otherwise you will be Huffed.
[edit] The Country
“In Soviet Russia, tristmasterland is dictated by YOU!!”
~ Russian Reversal on Tristmasterland
Well the country is very intresting, you see. it involves Nazism,Kommunism,facism, imperialism,and ownageism. while this creates some instability, at least he shoots all capitalists. the population is so far about 5,000 due to misbehavior. although it's a well known fact that if you worship tristmaster, you will be forgiven 1 mortal sin, as well as 3 regular sins. best of all in tristmasterland, free biscuit fridays at popeye's chicken and biscuits has been moved tooooooooooo....................all week long. a move very popular with claveman. of course things such as mcdonalds, burgerking, wendy's, and arby's, are also prominant. so remember, obay and eat the food, and you live.EXTRA: now, with this special offer, get a house in Tristmasterland for 100,000,000,000,000,000,000$ cheaper. a house is now 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000$. this special offer is only avaiable for the next 300 years,so call now, remember, in 300 years, duke nukem forever might finally come out(although most likely not) come out, so we have a reason to close the offer in celebration, or sadness. call now at 1-800-666-IPWNU, or log in at www.Tristmasterlandenslavement.com. WAIT, theres more, get a house now and we will give you on FREE copy of ZORK. thats right, a FREE copy of Zork. NO, not Zork 2, Zork 3, Or Zork 4. But the ORIGANAL Zork.(ordering Zork requires 19.99$ to pay for keeping the game on your computer, as well as tax, which is another 20.00$)SO ORDER NOW. GET A FREE CAR AS WELL. Tristmastermobiles are being made to keep the people moving around. as long as you don't press any buttons, you should be fine, or at least not dead. while your at it, get a FREE tristmasternought, the greatest battleship, err motorboat, to sail the seven seas.AND NOW, get a FREE Tristmasterjet. which can fly at 42,000,000,000,000,000,000 MPH.(be warned the jet has no brakes).
Tristmasterland
|
|
| National Motto: "Obay Grues or we shoot you."
|
| Official language
| bullet
|
| Capital
| IPWNYU city
|
Dictator
| Tristmaster(WHO THE FUCK DID YOU THINK IT WAS, HUH, SNAPPLE? I THINK NOT!)
|
| Religion
| tristmasterism
|
| Independence
| set since the begining of time. ha just joking i control everyone through mind control
|
| Currency
| super smash bros. coins
|
| National Anthem
| "Obay the great Tristmaster"
|
| National Holiday
| Tristmaster day, Oscar Wilde day.
|
| National Slogan
| I OWN YOUR ASS
|
[edit] MY NINJASTARS AND AWARDS
no, i did not steal them. if they look like there stolen its becouse i'm a humerous person. and i try to change the text around a little bit for laughs.
| The Conclave of Doom: Fred Phelps, Ed Gein, Barack Obama, Benito Mussolini, Dick Cheney, Domo-kun, Adolf Hitler, Nancy Pelosi, Bert, Ł, Ronald Reagan, Oprah Winfrey, Satan, Enron, Grue, Margaret Thatcher, J. Robert Oppenheimer, Robert Mugabe, Fidel Castro, Dr. Evil
|
| Comics Committee: Doctor Doom, Emperor Galactus of the World and Universe, Joker, Lex Luthor, The Scarecrow, Megatron, Mr. Freeze, Pikachu, The Riddler, Poison Ivy, Blackout the Vampire, Magneto, Venom, Dr. Robotnik, Jimmy Neutron, The Hobgoblin, Blackheart, Black Manta, Cobra Commander
|
| Space Committee: Uncle Andross, Marvin the Martian, Chairman Drek, Darth Vader, Dr. Nefarious, John Travolta, Katie Holmes, Khan Noonien Singh, L. Ron Hubbard, The Irken Empire, Zim, Team Rocket, Xenu, CATS, Dalek Fred, Grievous
|
| Music/Theatre Committee: AFI, Abu Hamza, Andrew Lloyd Webber, Kevin Federline, Leonard Bernstein, Avril Lavigne, Paul Hindemith, Madonna, Phil Collins, Jimi Hendrix, Ron Jeremy, Hannah Montana, BBC, Gaahl, Peter North, Officer Ricky, Glen Benton, Green Day, Star Wars Kid, Blink-182
|
| Politics Committee: Hillary Clinton, Bill Bennett, Charles Montgomery Burns, Ted Kennedy, Chairman Mao, Hugo Chávez, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong-Ill, CNN, Fox News, Imelda Marcos, Che Guevara, Joseph Stalin, Ian Paisley, John Kerry, Michael Moore, Sean Penn, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, John McCain, Sarah Palin, Ralph Nader, Ku Klux Klan, Legion of Doom
|
| Sports Committee: Al Davis, Joey Barton, Chel$ki Abramograd F.C., Kobe Bryant, Roger Clemens, Lewis Hamilton, Chris Benoit, Hulk Hogan, Rusty Wallace, Shaquille O'Neal, Hubert Horatio Humphrey, Vince McMahon, Sal Fasano, Ash Ketchum, Dwyane Wade, Yao Ming, Peyton Manning, Bo Jackson, Shawn Johnson, Jimmie Johnson, Michael Phelps, Juan Pablo Montoya, Michael Schumacher, New England Patriots
|
| The Remaining Reprobates: Black Mage, Maozilla, Carlos Mencia, Bill Gates, Baby Seals, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, Wikipedia, Hersheys, Santa Claus, Barney, Michelle Malkin, Erin Esurance, Jack Thompson, David Suzuki, Bea Arthur
|
One or more of the authors of this entry was terribly bored.
They may be afflicted with Attention Deficit... hey, we should go fly kites. That'd be so awesome! We haven't flown kites, since, like, summer. Hey, summer is when birds come out! Birds are so cool.
This article leads nowhere and otherwise tends to ramble.
This user has found Jesus and is therefore a potential threat to society.
</center>
</center>
