User:Uncyclopedian/UnScripts:The Young and the Uncyclopedians/120
Episode #120: The League of Extraordinary Idiots (Part III of I.V.)
(This episode begins with a bomb about to blow up the ship. The bomb has some string on it.)
Han: Evacuate the ship!!!
Moonshine: STRING WITH SAVINGS!!!
(Everyone evacuates the ship, except for Trousers and Borgat. Trousers pulls the string on the bomb, disarming it)
(A Japanese Zero crashes into the ship. It starts burning, but doesn't sink.)
(The bomb lands on the ship, and crashes throuh it. The ship sinks. A plane picks up the group)
Pilot: This is going to be a crashy ride!!!
(A feather ends up in the engine, causing the plane to crash. The plane crashes into a field)
Adam: I see an OuroborosDonuts stand in that wasteland devoid of life!!!
(Adam and Dizberg eat donuts)
C: Why am I doing this anyway?
Han: Strangeherr is an avid collector of porcelain ponies.
C: Are they COMMIE PORCELAIN PONIES!?!
Han: A few.
Han: Wait...where's Indy?
Zatoichi: Beats me.
Corsaire: (On phone) Yeah. We're gonna need a backup ship.
(A French Mirage drops down another clipper they get onto the boat. Jacques comes running to the group with a record in his hand.)
Jacques: Sir! Sir!
Corsiare: What is it?
Jacques: We've got a record sent by way of Indy.
Corsaire: Put it on.
(Jacques puts the record onto a record player. Strangely, a hologram appears as well, with a picture of a dancing Rick Astley.)
Record: Never gonna give you up! Never gonna take you down! ...
Corsaire: Fuck, we've been rick rolled!
(The sound of Rick's voice travels around the ship, activating bombs planted all over it. They can feel the explosions in the helmsroom)
Record: Never gonna give you up! Never gonna take you down...
(Bombs continue to explode)
(The record explodes off the player, and the bombing stops. A lackey comes through the doorway of the helmsroom)
Lackey: Sir! We're taking in water fast!
Corsaire: Okay. You know the procedure. The putty is right here. (Gives putty to lackey)
Lackey: Right. Can any one of you help as well?
(The group points at Mr. Rudolf)
Rudolf: Oh COME ON!
Corsaire: Well, get moving.
(Corsaire pours hot coffee on him, turning Rudolf to Mr. H)
Mr. H: RAAAAAA! (Takes spackling and goes to the lower levels of the ship)
Corsaire: It seems Indy took one of our lifeboats as well. We can track him, though. That traitor is going to pay.
(GPS screen pops up with blip for the ship and the lifeboat)
Corsaire: If we're lucky he might even lead us straight to Dr. Strangeherr.
Adam: WE JUST CRASHED INTO A DAMN FIELD!!! WHERE IS THE WATER COMING FROM!?!
Han: Yeah, where?
Corsaire: Underwater springs. It happens all the time.
Adam: At least I have a valid reason to beat up that evil contents-lover Indy!
Cerid: One more thing. There's some sort of flying piloted torpedo flying towards us!
Sensei: That's an Ohka!
L: That Ohka is under arrest, by order of me, SWAT Officer L!!!
(Meanwhile on the lower levels of the ship taken in by water, Mr. H is under the water of the ship, applying spackling to the hole)
Mr. H: RAAAAA!
Dr. Rudolf: (Face on a nearby mirror) Stop wasting our air you dipshit!
(Big boom ensues from the Ohka exploding. Everyone gets onto 12 lifeboats. The ship sinks. Again.)
Adam: Explain to me how the ship sunk IN A DAMN FIELD!?!
Moonshine: Because the field didn't have SAVINGS!!!
Mina: Flash flood.
Adam: Moonshine, for once, is more sensible, because there is no water on the field.
Emmzed: This be repulsor craft.
Robert: Maybe it is because I STILL DON'T HAVE MY PORN BACK!!!
(Garm falls off a boat and cracks his head)
Shandion: OH MY GOD THE GROUND KILLED GARM!!! IT IS A BASTARD!!!
Benson: BENSON SPIES A GIGANTIC FLYING BOAT TO THE WEST.
(A kamikaze destroys it)
Priest: Why don't we just DO OUR JOB!!!
Corsaire: Okay, I guess we're going to take the train. We've got enough tickets for everybody to get to Smolensk and then to Siberia, where the base is located atop frozen waters. The Evil Lair express will leave in a few minutes, but we'll still have to walk a mile to get to the base.
Han: Okay, here's the plan: Moonshine, you go inside the base, spy on it, and then tell us what's inside. Then we'll formulate a plan from there.
Moonshine: I'm the right man for the job. I can turn myself invisible in my head after using LSD with SAVINGS!!!
Han: Good. Now let's go.
Adam: Doesn't the Evil Lair Express sound a lot like a trap?
Cerid: Yes, it does. But who cares anyway?
Kim: Adam goo doo.
Nikita: What the heck?
Han: We need someone hyper enough to take out any guards.
Adam: I'll do that.
(Adam drinks 6 cups of black coffee)
Aquarii: No wonder your bag was so heavy.
(The group gets on the Evil Lair express)
Aquarii: Yes, Kim?
Kim: The Evil Lair express is a trap goo goo.
(The Train Arrives, and everyone boards it. The doors shut, and the train starts to move. About one mile from the base...)
Han: Wait, what's that music over the intercom?
Intercom: Never gonna give you up! Never gonna take you down!...
Adam: Oh shit....
Lackey: (Trying to open window) The windows are locked, sir!
(Corsaire pours coffee on Dr. Rudolf)
Rudolf: GOD DAM-(Changes to Mr. H) RAAAA!
(Mr. H breaks a hole through the side of the car and everyone gets out. Several seconds later the train explodes.)
Han: Moonshine, you know what to do.
Moonshine: (Injects LSD) With SAVINGS!
(He runs towards the base, and manages to get into the base. Since it's casual friday, nobody notices he's sneaking around. He sees clippers and dropships being built in one room, in another tests to permaban users to produce armies of Mr. Hs. There's a room dedicated to expirimenting with the powers of curry powder, and 24. In another all the villians of the series - The Baron, Alka'anad, Murphy, a clone of Darth Communism, Dr. Moneysign, Bush, Tortilla, Diem, the vandals, Blaning, Argon File, Molly Tov Nye, and Dr. Strangeherr collaborating in order to destroy the group. LSD is being manufactured in one room, and he takes a bottle full of it. A guard catches him in the act.)
Guard: Show me some ID, pal.
Moonshine: You don't see me man, I'm invisible!
(Moonshine escapes and tells the group)
Han: Okay. I want Zatoichi to set up bombs all over the place while sneaking around. All of Corsaire's men are going to be invading the base while doing this and rescuing all the workers. Sensei, Mina, Keira, and most of the rest of you are going to help. I'm going to take care of Dr. Strangeherr. C will take care of his clone. Flandos, you take Alka'anad. Supwealuhop, you take Murphy. Hinoa and Trousers should take care of Dr. Moneysign. Adam, you can take care of Indy. Kim and Braycat can take on Argon File. Aquarii can take care of the Baron. Everyone got that?
Everyone but Adam: Yes!
Adam: Han, Moonshine mentioned other villains, like Diem, Bush, Blaning, Molly, and those vandals.
Han: Diem isn't much of a villian. He's just corrupt. He helped the group against Darth Communist, remember? As for Bush, Blaning, and the Vandals, well who wants to take 'em on?
Adam: What about Molly and Tortilla? And shouldn't there be a clone of the Grueslayer there as well?
Moonshine: Yeah, dude. There was one of him too.
Han: Cerid, you take on Molly. Benson, you take on Tortilla. Sargeant Mhale can take on Bush, and Blaning can be taken on by Robert. We've got a special unit for the vandals. They come from Oceania - Unsoc. Ronalds can take on the Grueslayer.
(Adam shows his Outer Party badge from Unsoc)
Adam: I got the Unsoc agents here, being the Outer Party Minister of Truth.
Ronalds: Today, the Grueslayer dies.
Starnes: Now, I will steal important power supplies from the base.
(Everyone prepares. Zatoichi is first to be finished, and heads toward the base, sneaking in through the front door.)
Zatoichi: They'll never get me through the back door!
(Zatoichi wanders into the bathroom)
Zatoichi: This must be where they build the ships, considering the aquatic smell.
(Zatoichi sets up a bomb in a urinal. A guard walks in.)
Guard: Awesome look, man. This is why I love casual friday.
Zatoichi: Thank you.
(Zatoichi walks out, and comes back to the group)
Moonshine: Why did you set a bomb in the bathroom with SAVINGS!?!
Zatoichi: But I thought that was where the ships are built!
(Everyone else laughs)
Mhale: SET BOMBS IN GOOD PLACES, ZATOICHI!!! NOW!!! MOVE!! NOW!!!
(Zatoichi walks back. Smoke is coming out of the bathroom. A guard walks buy)
Guard: Do you know what happened here, sir?
Zatoichi: Beats me. I'm just walking through here minding my own business when I start to smell smoke.
(The guard walks in)
Guard: Holy shit Jimmy's dead!
(Zatoichi walks away to the cafeteria)
Zatoichi: My god it smells rancid! This must be the curry powder room.
(Zatoichi places a bomb in a pot and walks away. A worker comes to stir the pot's contents. Meanwhile, everyone else is ready to invade the base. They come in through the front door and start to attack the base. Zatoichi is in the furnace room.)
Zatoichi: This must be the nuclear power generator.
(Zatoichi places a bomb on the gas powered furnace and walks away. Credits roll as group saves some of the scientists.)