User:Uncyclopedian/UnScripts:The Young and the Uncyclopedians/131
TYATU Episode 131: Uncyclopedia Island Part II
(This episode starts on a local dock. Adam is tied up, and Brad can be seen right next to him, standing. Nobody else is around.)
Adam: What's going on?
Brad: I've warned you many times to butt out, and you're now going to have to pay the price.
Adam: What are you talking about? You were in two scenes in the last episode.
Brad: Shut up.
Adam: Who are you, anyway?
(Brad pulls off his face, revealing Alka'chuck)
Adam: AAAAAA! A ghost!
Alka'chuck: Yes, I'm Alka'chuck, the most dreaded pirate on the seven seas. Now, I'm going to drown you, and them marry Keira.
Adam: MARRY HER?!
Adam: But that is so cliché...
Alka'chuck: No, it isn't.
Adam: Yes, it is.
Alka'chuck: No, it isn't.
(Several minutes later)
Alka'chuck Seriously! Stop this before I keel haul you on my Geo Metro.
Adam: I can't talk to that.
(Alka'chuck dumps Adam into the sea. Camera moves to sea. Adam unfetters himself, takes a banana from the sea floor, and goes up to the surface. The ghostly ship of Alka'chuck can be seen off into the distance, fading. Adam dumps a beerstein of grog into the ocean.)
Adam: I knew that stuff was bad for me...
(Time lapse occurs. After the time lapse, we see Adam at "Capercorni's Previously Shot at Boats". Several models are prominently available, all with multiple bulletholes. Capercorni comes towards Adam with his shotgun, flailing his arms wildly.)
Adam: Holy crap! A nut with a shotgun is coming toward me!
(Adam kicks Capercorni in the shin)
Capercorni: (On ground) MOTHERFU...For what reason was that for, my brother?
Adam: Oh, no reason at all, other than YOU WERE COMING AT ME WITH A FUCKING SHOTGUN FLAILING YOUR ARMS LIKE A MADMAN!
Capercorni: I see you are interested in my fine selection of shot at boats. Do you have one in mind?
Adam: How about that blue one in the corner right there. It looks spiffy.
(Capercorni shoots the boat multiple times)
Capercorni: HA HA! Spiffy? BULLET HOLES!
(The boat is now a cinder)
Adam: On second thought, do you have a better model?
Capercorni: Yes! BULLETS!! AND HOLES!
(Suddenly, it all goes dark...)
Director: Hello, I am the director, and the writers seem to be having a few problems with this episode. Therefore, we will go to the place where the group now is...
TYATU Episode #131: Part II: The Klotski Killer Part I
(Scene change. Resturant called the ATU. The main heroes are right outside of it.)
Dizberg: Why is there a restaurant near the Worst Ever Hospital?
Priest: God said that there would be one.
Han: Well, I'm hungry. I'm going in.
(Han goes inside. A waitress walks up to him.)
Waitress: Welcome to the ATU. Do you wish to be seated?
Han: Yes please.
(Han is seated at a small 2-person table, and given a menu. Later, the same waitress comes over to Han's table.)
Waitress: Have you thought of what you want to eat?
Han: Yes. I would like some fugu, with some root beer, please.
(Scene goes dark. All characters disappear from the scene except for Han. Dim light lights up right where Han is seated. Hellow Zepp starts to play.)
Han: What's going on here?
Mysterious deep voice: Hello, Han.
Han: Who are you?
(Television screen goes on. A fingerpuppet is on it.)
Mysterious deep voice: How about we play a little game?
Han: Is it Nexus Wars?
Mysterious deep voice: No, it's much more interesting than that.
(Han's chair lifts fifteen feet off the ground. He is strapped onto it automatically - ankles, waist, hands, and neck. The table below him flips around - water is inside of it. Behind his chair, a platform is jutted out. From the wall he rests against, a then unknown trap door is opened and a chicken placed on the platform.)
Mysterious deep voice: You can call me the Klotski Kallir. You have to unbind yourself from the chair and eat the chicken. Inside the chicken is a key which you can place into your chair and unbind yourself. At that point you will have to jump off the chair, and into the water, which has approximately 500V of electricity coursing through it, enough to explode a small explosive. Inside of that is a small remote control with will stop the bomb from detonating inside your head. You have approximately four minutes before the bomb explodes. Good bye.
(Transmission from the television stops. Meanwhile, outside the building...)
Adam: It's been sealed off...Han's stuck in-(looks around) where's Zatoichi?
Aquarii: Where is the bomb!?! WHERE IS THE BOMB!?!
(Cut to inside the building. Zatoichi is hanging from the ceiling by a rope tied to his waist binding his arms together)
Zatoichi: You promised there would be sake.
(Television screen on other side of the room comes on with a fingerpuppet on screen)
Kallir: Hello, Zatoichi.