User:Uncyclopedian/UnScripts:The Young and the Uncyclopedians/149
TYATU: Episode 149: The Second Soson
(This episode starts on the road near the ruins of the Klotski Killer's lair. Most of the group is there.)
Adam: Everyone-wait, where are Engelsfair and Aquarii?
Kim: Daddy go in car and drive away.
Adam: Well, he should have crashed by now.
Emmzed: Dosen't that only apply to planes?
Adam: Ooh look, a plane!
(A plane is seen on a small landing strip. It appears to be a commercial airliner with the tail greyed over.)
Keira: ...Oh no...
Adam: The perfect vehicle for bringing the bad news to the Sosons!
(Camera flip to Adam's house. Engelsfair is there.)
Engelsfair: Hmph. I've had it with waiting.'
(Engelsfair leaves to speak to Adam)
Adam: Get on the plane!
(Everyone gets on the plane)
Adam: Er, does anybody know where the Sosons LIVE anyway?
Engelsfair: I do! This hammer and this sickle tell me where they live!
Adam: Then tell the pilot.
(Engelsfair tells the pilot. The plane starts. Engelsfair throws up. The bomb that was in his stomach explodes in the cockpit)
Pilot: (over intercom) We may be having technical difficulties...
(The plane crashes into the Sosons' house.)
Annie Soson: Eek!! Terrorists!!
(The house is pretty much decimated and burned to the ground. The wife and son of Han Soson are DEAD. The only surviving member of the Soson family is Han's daughter, Annie. A social worker pulls up.)
Social Worker: Adam Uncyclop, since this is all your fault, Annie Soson is in your custody.
Adam: What the heck...how did you know my name...why is she in my custody...AW FORGET IT! QVFD!
(Adam shoots the social worker with his QVFD gun)
(The QVFD actually CURVES away. Han Soson is trying to tell Adam something. Or Adam may have very bad luck.)
Adam: Odd. MELEE QVFD!
(Adam stabs the social worker with his QVFD knife)
Social Worker: If not for your actions, none of the Sosons would be dead. You are in custody of Annie.
(He walks away, as Adam places a small bomb in his pocket)
(Few minutes later, a big explosion is seen from afar.)
Annie: What's... going on.. here?
Adam: You're female, I'm a male without a girlfriend. Let's rent a motel room.
Hinoa: You're a loser. I'm divorced. Let's get beer and drink our problems away, because I don't think you're going to be able to use that motel room any time soon.
Adam: No, she's coming with me. I'm in custody of he-
Annie: Do I have any say in this?
(Meanwhile, several miles away in Emperor Lalzar's secret apartment, the Professor Skullpounder presses a button)
Skullpounder: (Cackling) I may have spent all my money, and I may have have to live off ramen noodles for the next fourteen years, but I have him! The real him, not that cheap clone that that hack Strangeherr made!
(A platform lifts from the floor of his lab. Soson, encased in carbonite is revealed. A knocking on the right wall with a broomstick is heard)
Lalzar: (Off camera, from the right wall) Professor! Shut up your text! Studying myself English!
Skullpounder: (Annoyed) Sorry, Emperor! (Continues cackling, organ music and lightening in background)
(Pounding from below)
Murphy: (Off camera) You know, it's great that you got some fucking epiphany or something, Skullpounder, but you know, some of the rest of us retired villians need to get some sleep! Don't you young villians know how to quiet down about what you're doing? And seriously, when you're at home you don't need to play a boombox full of Beethoven organ solos. This is the third time this week you woke me up with this racket! Kids these days...
(A shotgun clicking is heard from the room above)
EDian: SHUT THE HELL UP- holy crap, I loaded the shotgun with my foot. lulz.
(In the room next to the EDians, a room above and to the right of Skullpounder's)
Cheney: (Off camera) THEM'S FIGHTIN WORDS, BUCKO!
EDian: (Off Camera) Rofle waffles! Fuck yeah! It's caturday! Bring it on, old man!
(Camera flips to Murphy facepalming himself in bed while reading the Necronomicon. A shotgun blast is heard. Followed by a dropping sound.)
Cheney: (Off camera) Damnit, Byrd! Get your face out of the way next time!
(Back with the group...)
(Adam and Hinoa have a real long fingernail scratch on their faces.)
Annie: Hmph. Father wouldn't approve.
Adam: Yes, but your father is also dead.
Annie: And I don't approve of you. How did I ever get stuck with you?
Adam: I'm Han's best friend (shows ring), and that makes me his closest heir. So even if I were incompetent---
Hinoa: --- which you are ---
Adam: and killed the rest of your family, I would get you. So let's get to that motel.
Hinoa: Pedobear approves.
Adam: (Offhand, not directly looking at Hinoa) Make fun of me again and I'll punch your kidneys in. (To Annie) So, is there any place you'd like in mind?
Annie: Well, there is this apartment complex mother used to go to all the time in the city...
Adam: Sounds perfect!
Annie: ...which was destroyed by what appeared to be a clipper that went on the land...
(Adam looks at Corsaire)
Corsaire: I didn't do it!
Annie: ...but there is another apartment complex, one that my father went to every once in a while...
Adam: Okay, that sounds good...
Hinoa: No, it does not!
Adam: Does so!
Annie: To that apartment complex, then.
Adam: How do we get there?
Annie: It's a thirty minute drive.
Adam: How do we get there?
Annie: I said it's a thirty minute drive.
Adam: Directions, maybe?
Annie: North, north, east, north, west, north, east, east, south, kill guard with rifle, take ammo from gua-
Hinoa: This is the real world, not Zor-
(Adam punches Hinoa)
Annie: Why do we need to get there again?
(Annie knees Adam in the crotch, killing him. A man who looks a lot like Adam walks out of a building.)
Man: Damn. There goes the sex-crazed clone. Now all I've got left are the communist clone and the homicidal maniac clone.
Emmzed: Who the heck are you!?!
Man: Some call me Adam.
Shandion and Engelsfair: ADAM AGAIN!?!
Annie: Another one?
(chik-chik. Annie has a ashotgun ready to fire.)
Adam: Do I have to send the homicidal maniac clone to kill you!?! (takes out a sword)
Annie: I'd rather be dead with my family than you.