User:Uncyclopedian/UnScripts:The Young and the Uncyclopedians/168
Episode 168: The Edlons
(Scene begins with Dr. Aquarii walking towards Keira)
Dr. Aquarii: Keira?
Keira II: Yes? Oh! Dr. Aquarii! It's so good to see you again!
Dr. Aquarii: How are you still alive?
Keira II: I'm an Edlon. It's not like they can't download me into a new body, thereby giving me immortality?
Muganez: Excuse me. Did you say you are an Edlon?
Dr. Aquarii: No. Uh, no she didn't.
Priest: EDLON!?! I SMITE THEE IN THE HOLY NAME OF GOD KNOWN HOLILY AS THE HOLY LORD!!! (Smites Keira II WITH HOLY MIGHT!)
Dr. Aquarii: THAT WAS MY GIRLFRIEND!!!
(Dr. Aquarii kills Priest with a gun)
(Scene switches to Edlon ship. Priest is downloaded into a new body)
Gates: Hello there, Priest.
Priest: Who are you?
Gates: I'm an Edlon, and the leader of this ships. Model number 1, Specifics code PR0N. And you are...
(Priest kills Gates with a sharp piece of metal)
Gates: (Downloads to new body) And you are Model number 2, Specifics code 1337.
Priest: And how do you know this?
Priest II: (Appears) Because of me...
Priest: (Gasps) WTF!? I SMITE THEE WITH HOLY WRATH!
(Priest kills Priest II)
Priest: Oh look! A HOLY plane!
Gates II: Where? (Turns around)
(Priest kills Gates II, then flies away in the Edlon Banner he discovered)
Priest: I am not an Edlon, I am not an Edlon, I am not an Edlon...
Priest III: (Appears) Of course you aren't...
(Priest lands the Banner in the Uncyclopedia's hangar. Marines come to check it out, but do not see Priest III. Priest is taken to the Captain's office)
Captain Adam: Hello...Priest...
Priest: Why are there UNHOLY pauses between your words!?!
Cpt. Adam: Because...thoughtcrime does not entail death. Thoughtcrime IS death!
Priest: ...This is a parody of Battlestar Galactica, not 1984.
Cpt. Adam: The difference is?
Priest: One involves horny robots chasing humanity, and the other involves a dystopian society with Big Brother.
Cpt. Adam: That's JUST WHAT THE MINISTRY OF TRUTH AND THE EDLONS WANT YOU TO BELIEVE!!!
(Dr. Trousers enters the office)
Trousers: Adam, stop being an idio...OOH STRING!!!!
(Scene switches to Muganez on a training exercise)
Muganez: (Perks up) Hey! I just got a new idea how to capture enemy planes!
Lt. Keira (Keira II): How?
Muganez: Just by saying "Oh look! A plane!"
Engelsfair: That's cheap... Oh look! A MiG!
(Engelsfair gets into a MiG that appeared, and flies out of the hangar)
Engelsfair: Oh look! A COMMUNIST THING!
(Random Guard looks at the communist thing)
Guard: Yes. A freaking SOVIET MISSILE HEADING TOWARDS OUR FREAKING PLANE!!!
Engelsfair: But it's a Soviet missile! It can't hurt a communist!
Guard: True. However, A CRASHING PLANE KIND OF HURTS, YOU KNOW.
Engelsfair: Just cushion the fall with Garm.
Shandion: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! NOT GARM!!!
(Engelsfair cushions the fall with Garm)
Meganew: Of course it is. We're stopping the "Garm is TYATU's Kenny" pun.
Meganew: Nah. We're just using it less.
Uncyclopedian: It's not a PUN, Meganew, it is an IN-JOKE.
Meganew: Darn it.
Director: Back to the episode guys...
Meganew: Shut up.
(Meganew kills the director)
Uncyclopedian: Meganew, we already killed directors by the ton. Where do we get them, anyway?
Engelsfair: From COMMIELAND!!!
Meganew: Heck no.
Han: Shut up, Engelsfair!!!
(Han throws Engelsfair out of an airlock)
Ronalds: COMMUNISM IS STILL BETTER!!!
Muganez: Look! OuroborosDonuts!
(An OuroborosDonuts stand is seen floating in space)
Cpt. Adam: Mine!!!
(Adam takes the OuroborosDonuts stand all for himself)
Muganez: You fiend!!!
Von Dizburg: (Appears) MINE!!!
(A battle ensues over the OuroborosDonuts stand)