User:Uncyclopedian/UnScripts:The Young and the Uncyclopedians/172
Episode 172: The Nonexistent Cabal Might Exist After All
(Episode starts with Muganez and Adam lying over the dead body of Kiera: a Cabal member who just died)
Muganez: Well this is great... The Cabal might really exist, Our source of info and the traitor is dead, we don't know what WUZN'T ME means, and we have no idea where the real Keira is.
Adam: You don't know what WUZN'T ME means. There are many here...who do.
Muganez: How do you know? Speaking of which, do you know?
Adam: Know what? About the nonexistant Cabal, or about what WUZN'T ME means?
Adam: I know three things: There is no Cabal, if there was a Cabal, its first rule would be that you don't talk about the Cabal, and that WUZN'T ME is a secret. A very well kept secret.
Muganez: Adam KNOWS MORE THAN HE IS TELLING!!!!
Adam: Any more information on the nonexistent Cabal is nonexistent confidential information.
Demsey: ADAM, YOU <BLEEP>ING DONKEY!!! THIS KNOWLEDGE IS DONKEY!
Muganez: DEMSEY!!! QUIT SWEARING!!!
Uncyclopedian: Why should he?
Adam: Hey, Uncyclopedian, don't you think this is stretching the vanity rule a bit?
Uncyclopedian: The purpose of TYATU is to stretch the limits of the Uncyclopedia vanity rules.
Muganez: Oh, stop it, Adam.
Meganew: (Appears) Besides, I've been doing most of the work.
Adam: Could you two PLEASE GET OUT OF THE SHOW!?!
Meganew: Sure. (Uncyclopedian and Meganew disappear)
Klotski Kallir: (His finger puppet appears and takes away Muganez)
Episode 172 Part II: Kallir's Traps
(Episode begins with Muganez chained to a wall hanging in mid-air)
Kallir: Hello Muganez. Let's play a game. When this video halts, a timer will activate. You must break yourself down from the chains, and land inside a small hot tub (Camera shifts to hot tub) to survive. Afterards, you will need to crawl across a bridge (Camera shifts to bridge) going through a tunnel filled with tentacle monsters. Finally, (Camera fallows bridge down to lift) you must get the the lift at the end of the bridge, and press the right button to activate it. If you succeed, you will enter another room and battle the Blaning clone. (Close up of Blaning clone's face) If you do not defeat the clone in battle in less then 1 hour (Timer shown), the fusion bombs attached to your shirt will explode. Good luck.
(Muganez uses a small laser to cut his arms free from the chains. He then points himself downward and cuts his leg chains, causing him to fall into the hot tub. The hot tub begins to get scorching hot, as Muganez escapes it and runs across the bridge. Tentacles can be seen trying to grab him. he then reaches the lift, where he randomly presses the green button, and activates it. He then reaches the room with the Blaning clone)
Muganez: Can we hurry this up? I have to defeat you to deactivate these fusion bombs.
Blaning: En contraire, Muganez. I am not a clone, I am the real Blaning, here to get you out. Go ahead, kill me. I'll just come back.
(Muganez kills Blaning, who comes back)
Kallir: WUZN'T ME.
Sophia: ENOUGH!!! If anyone says WUZN'T ME one more time, I will smite them with a ray of my pure sexiness!!! Unless they're saying it because they don't know what it means.
Kallir: Says WHAT?
Sophia: Says WUZN'T ME...oh shit...
(Sophia commits suicide with a ray of pure sexiness)
Muganez: YOU FIEND!!! THAT WAS MY EX-GIRLFRIEND!!!
(Muganez kills the Klotski Kallir with a ray of pure anger)
Muganez: A haiku:
You will not have died in vain,
I killed your killer.
(Muganez returns to the group)
Adam: Muganez? What's wrong?
Muganez: Two things... One, the Klotski Kallir was the one who kidnapped me. He's dead now.
Muganez: And two, Sophia, the goddess of Uncyclopedia, is dead...
(A moment of silence follows)
Capercorni: Oh, who cares!?! WE HAVE BUCKSHOT!!! HA HA!!! (shoots the ground)
Muganez: DIE CAPERCORNI!!! (Shoots Capercorni in the head with a gun)
Uncyclopedian: (appears) Muganez, could you please stop killing everyone off? I mean, seriously.
Muganez: DIE UNCYCLOPEDIAN!!! (shoots Uncyclopedian in the head with a shotgun)
Director: Great, Muganez, you just killed one of the writers.
Muganez: That's cuz it WUZN'T ME after all...I'm really ALKA'ANAD IN DISGUISE.
(Alka'anad reveals himself, then trips on a ladybug and breaks his limbs. The real Muganez then comes in from stage right)
Muganez: What did I miss?
Adam: One, the Klotski Kallir, Capercorni, Uncyclopedian, and Sophia are dead. And two, Alka'anad was posing as you.
Muganez: Makes sense. Because when I teleported out of the Kallir's hideout, I went to get a smoothie.
(Muganez points in the direction of what appears to be an OuroborosSmoothies shop. Dizburg appears, and he and Adam go drink smoothies)
Muganez: Yeah. It's too bad they closed the OuroborosDonuts franchise. Now it's OuroborosSmoothies.
Adam: Uh...I don't believe that is on the script.
Muganez: Then explain the OuroborosSmoothies shop.
Adam: I can't.
The Baron: (Rises out from the dirt) BRAAAIIIINNNSSSS....
Muganez: What was that?
Baron: Brains Brains BRAINS Brains Brainsssss......
Muganez: He says he wants you guys to quit trampling on his grave.
Adam: You can speak zombie?
Muganez: Yes. Now let's hurry this up so we can start the Incredibles parody.
Baron: Brains BrAiNs Brrrrainnnns....
Muganez: He calls being that dead corpse Mr. Incredible finds in the underwater cave.
(Credits roll, with the Baron listed as BRAINS!!!)