User:Uncyclopedian/UnScripts:The Young and the Uncyclopedians/78
(Scene set at a Grue Army base, vandals are storming the base. Everyone in the group is knocked out due to artillery fire)
John Metro: HA HA! Looks like the Grue Army General is knocked out!
Anonymous: Let's bring a few of his friends with us, and hold them hostage. Take those three in the corner.
(Five vandals take Keira, Dizberg, and Engelsfair)
(Vandals bound and gag the three, and take them into a helicopter. The copter leaves for the vandal HQ.)
(The group wakes up)
Engelsfair: Commie Sex!
Anonymous: Er, you are gagged.
Engelsfair: I am a commie. Gags and bindings can't hold me.
(Anonymous punches Engelsfair, who brakes out, scene switch to Grue Army Base.)
(Later, the remaining group awakens)
Han: Man, that was some artillery fire.
Adam: Did anyone get the license number of that truck?
Emmzed: Wait, where are Dizberg, Engelsfair, and Keira?
Han: I don't know, but this note might help...
(Adam opens note, and reads it out loud)
Letter: HA HA HA! WE HAVE TAKEN THREE OF YOUR FRIENDS! IF YOU WANT THEM BACK, GIVE US AN UNBAN FROM ALL STORES, AND TURN THE ENTIRE GRUE ARMY INTO VANDALS!!!! MEET AS IN DELAWARE, OR YOUR FRIENDS WILL DIEEEEEEE! Signed, John Metro P.S.: MWAHAHAHAHA!
Emmzed: Wow, they misspelled "Turn."
Braycat: Where, where is...
Han: Keira? I think... she was taken with Dizberg and Engelsfair.
Adam: Delaware... but that's across the entire country!
Blaning: No, we don't need to save them. Engelsfair can save himself with communism.
Han: AAAAAAUUUGGGHHH!! What about the other two?
Priest: Blaning is right.
Adam: The arsenal and hangar is across the hall. Let's get a load of weapons, and get a few APCs. There are no more drop ships. We can search for survivors.
(Back in the Vandal HQ, Engelsfair has slain a platoon of vandals)
Engelsfair: COMMIE SEX POWER!
(Vandals threaten to torture Dizberg and Keira if he continues. Engelsfair stops.)
Captain Powershot: If you don't want your friends tortured and killed, you should stay that way. And get back in your bounds and gag.
(Dizberg wakes up)
Dizberg: OUROBOROS! Wait, what happened?
Anonymous: You are hostages. We are vandals. SHUT UP.
Dizberg: Can I have a Donut?
Dizberg: A serpent?
Anonymous: No. and why is your gag off? Oh, it fell <Places gag back>
(Keira wakes up)
Powershot: At least SOMEBODY's gag stayed on. And for keeping your gag on, I will torture you.
Keira: WHAT? Also, my gag fell off. Wait, what is a gag?
Powershot: ARGGHHH!!!! I will torture you harde-
Metro: Powershot, stop it. She's traumatised enough.
(Scene switch to Grue Army base. Han and Adam are repairing two APCs, and everyone else is searching for survivors. There is a knock on the door. L gets the door. It is Sargent Mhale.)
Sarge: HELLO DIRTBAG! I'M WITH THE UNITED STATES PEACE CORPS! HAVE YOU BEEN PEACEFUL MAGGOT?
L: Well, not really. THERE ARE GODDAMN HOLES IN THE WALL FROM ARTILLERY. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
(Mhale beats L with an M-16. He is on the floor.)
Sarge: CHRIST! I SAID BE PEACEFUL NOT A WUSSY DIRTBAG! GET OFF THE FLOOR!
(The sarge kicks him, explosion is heard from the hangar.)
Han: You destroyed the APC's engine!
Adam: I'm OK!
Han: No matter, just replace the engine. There are spares over there. <Points to the wall, which has many parts for various vehicles>
(At the Vandal HQ, Engelsfair has broken out the group)
(They all kick vandal butt)
Powershot: My oh my, I hate commies.
Anonymous: Tip: Never capture commie...
(Engelsfair kills Anonymous)
(Froggy is now known as TKF|Frogse.cx!)
Braycat: Froggy. Get off of box with paintings that move.
(Back at vandal HQ...)
(Engelsfair does a goatse)
Metro: AAAAAA!!! TOO MUCH GOATSE!
(DiZ and Keira cover their eyes)
Engelsfair: Man I drove Han crazy, but at least he didn't pull a goatse.
(There is a knock on the door. Metro gets it.)
Sarge: HELLO, DIRTBAG! I'M WITH THE US PEACE CORPS! HAVE YOU BEEN PEACEFUL TODAY!
Metro: Yes, of course.
Sarge: WELL I DON'T BELIEVE YOU DIRT PILE!
(Metro is beaten with Sarge's M-16. He is hunched over on the floor)
Sarge: BE PEACEFUL, SON, NOT A WUS...AAAAAGGGHHH! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?
(Sarge faints from the Goatse)
(Dizberg slaps Engelsfair)
(Keira hits Engelsfair)
Engelsfair: OW! You guys hit as hard as Han! COMMMIIEEEEE SEX!!!
(Vandal does goatse, and everybody but Engelsfair faints)
Engelsfair: Oh dear. There's no COMMUNISM IN THAT GOATSE!
(Engelsfair flings activated CommuFlare in goatse)
Vandal: ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!! <dies>
(Scene to Army base hangar)
Han: Adam, are you sure placing an Ouroboros vinyl and 20 bottles of nitrous on the APCs will get us to Delaware in 6 hours?
Adam: Of course. Ouroboros can solve anything.
Han: And the nitrous?
Adam: Because I wanted to put the warplanes' nitrous to good use.
(APCs go super fast with Ouroboros. The group crashes through the wall of the Vandal HQ. Supwealuhop exits first.)
Supwealuhop: I've got curry and I am not afraid to use it!
Han: Damn... 5 hours and 59 minutes. 1 minute before we were supposed to. And I superglued a Mortar on top of the other APC.
Adam: Actually, we got here in 1 minute. Your watch is fast.
Emmzed: Wow, we got here in 1 minute 59 seconds.
(Vandal runs out)
Vandal:' AAAAAAAA! A commie with GOATSE! AAAAA! Run while you can!