User:Uncyclopedian/UnScripts:The Young and the Uncyclopedians/80
Episode 80:Shock Trooper
(This episode begins with a close up of Engelsfair and his goatse being locked up in the APC. By Han, obviously. And Adam. And Benson. and Braycat. And Emmzed. And everyone else.)''
(Engelsfair escapes with commugoatse)
Adam: Wha- That APC was titanium coated with diamond armor!
Han: Braycat, what are you doing with that dart gun?
(Braycat fires a commie tranquilizer dart into Engelsfair)
Braycat: Crazy Communist sleep for 1 day.
(Emmzed and Benson double-lock Engelsfair into the APC.)
Indy: FINALLY! Let's attack!
(Indy and Nikita use mortar on top of other APC to damage the Vandal Battalion. Engelsfair excapes using COMMUNISM!)
Engelsfair: I don't sleep. I AM COMMUNISM! And sex.
Everyone else: EEEEEWWWWWWWWW!
(Engelsfair destroys vandal army, and paints the heroes in hammers and sickles. Then he does a COMMIESE.CX!)
Supwealuhop: That's it.
(Supwealuhop flips open his cell phone and calls Robert Charles Murphy)
Murphy: Dud you come to suck up again?
Murphy: What is it that you want this time?
Supwealuhop: I need you to suck Engelsfair into some kind of wormhole.
Murphy: Only him?
Murphy: Hold on a sec...
(Mutters in Latin can be heard on the other side of the line. A hole in the space time continuum opens up atop Engelsfair and sucks him in.)
Murphy: Remember, you owe me three virgins this time. Make them pretty. Bye.
(Murphy hangs up)
(Engelsfair comes back, and does a Goatse)
Adam: This MAY stop him...
(Adam puts a map of State Capitals on Engelsfair)
Engelsfair: AHHHHH!!! It may not be capitalism, but it still has CAPITAL IN IT!!!!! <Faints. Hopefully for a while.>
Han: Cool. Okay, paint an APC in American Flags... Capitalists... and lock him in. Everyone else, get into the other APC. Now who wants to be the unfortunate person to drive Engelsfair's APC...
(Engelsfair wakes up, and gets into the fetal position, as he is covered in CAPITAISM!!!!)
(Engelsfair escapes, and paints the world, especially himself, in Hammers and Sickles. Then he makes the entire USA communist, except the group here. Last, he does a goatse that is bigger than a skyscraper.)
Everyone: AARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!! MY EYES!
(Han yells COMMIE! into missile targeting computer, and presses "fire". A nuke flys at Engelsfair's destroyed house.)
Engelsfair: I activated random shots with the computer, no matter what you yell.
Han: That Capitalist shock missile can subdue even COMMIES! Ha!
Engelsfair: Did you notice that it is flying towards my house's ruins? Plus, it can't subdue me for more than a millisecond.
Adam: It blew up your car, your cat, and your hammer and sickle then. and the rest of Russia. For 20 days.
Engelsfair: It is all CAPITALIST NOW?
Han: Yup. The missiles turn A WHOLE COUNTRY Capitalist for 20 days.
Engelsfair: Oh wait, while you were insane, I swapped those missiles with COMMUNIST MISSILES! They make entire continents communist forever!
Han: That wasn't in the script! You were supposed to say "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Adam: Let's just leave him in China. He'll be happy there.
(Engelsfair comes back to the USA to do an official commie mission: Cause Nuclear War. Drive Han insane.)
Sensei: I think I have a way to easily stop you.
Engelsfair: Oh really?
Sensei: Yeah, really.
(Sensei gets on the phone and calls Ngo Dinh Diem. He arrives several minutes later by aircraft.)
Diem: You not getting out of this one, you asskisser of Ho Chi Minh!
(Diem sends in the South Vietnamese army, who is able to quickly subdue Diem and incarcerate him thanks to his leadership.)
Engelsfair: That's not how it worked in the war!
Diem: I know that's not how it worked out, but I was the only one with enough influence in the army to keep it from collapsing! They didn't realize that when the assassinated me! You're not getting away this time commie scum! Oh, and Shek, get my money bath ready!
(Shek comes out of the crowd of officers and salutes)
Engelsfair: What will you do to me!?
Diem: I'm going to dip you in a vat of hot plastic and make credit cards out of you!
Dizberg: How ironic...
(Engelsfair escapes to the USA using goatse)
Diem: You're not getting away that easily...
(Diem calls Dick Cheney. Minutes later two American soldiers carry him back to Diem.)
Diem: I told you. Shek! Melt the plastic!
(Engelsfair escapes with Goatse, and gets back to original plot. Credits roll)