User:Uncyclopedian/UnScripts:The Young and the Uncyclopedians/81
Episode 81: Pukese.cx finally ends
(This episode starts in the ruins of the Vandal base)
Nikita: Now, find that ring.
Keira: What is a ring?
Engelsfair: It is a communist item!
(Han punches Engelsfair, who does goatse to Han.)
Emmzed: You want hammer? You want hammer, Engelsfair? <Throws hammer> GO GET IT!
Engelsfair: WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! <Chases hammer>
Emmzed: It's HAMMER TIME!
Braycat: What is Hammer Time?
Engelsfair: I promise to never do a goatse again.
Sensei: You don't need to attack Engelsfair anymore, Diem. You can lower your weapons now.
Engelsfair: Who needs goatses when they have hammers and sickles?
(Han faints and wakes up)
Han: HA! Communism can't drive me crazy anymore!
Engelsfair: YOU ARE A COMMIE!
Han: SURE... of course I am.
(Engelsfair throws hammer at Han, takes it, and throws it back)
Diem: You're off the hook for now, Engelsfair, but your ass will be credit card and your head on American Express if you do one more filthy commie goatse session. Shek, tell the troops to lower their weapons, and bring me some Checkbook tea!
(Diem and Sheck go onto a Jeep.)
(Diem motions two fingers towards his eyes, then Engelsfair. Shek then speeds away, the South Vietnamese troops behind him, who are scarred and horrified at what they had seen with their little skirmish with Engelsfair.)
Han: Next person doing a goatse will be transferred to Encyclopedia Dramatica (DUN DUN DUN!)
Engelsfair: Does that in include commiegoatse?
Han: ESPECIALLY Commiegoatse.
Benson: YOU CALL THAT YELLING?
Froggy: Uh, guys? Ribbit... okay? Ribbit.
Han: I agree with Froggy, there's just simply no time for you guys to go off on another goatse tangent again. We've got some vandals to... uh... what are we supposed to be doing again?
Nikita: We're supposed to be getting that ring the Baron had.
(A maid drives into the area, who was supposed to clean the Baron's mansion)
Maid: Oh dear! His house has been destroyed!
Dizberg: Do you by chance know of a ring the Baron had?
Maid: You mean the one that was to be buried with that bears magical powers?
Maid: His cat ate it at the funeral.
Han: There's only one option now. We gut the cat.
Adam: We can't gut the cat, Han.
Han: Why not?
Adam: B-b-b-because... I'm his cat.
Froggy: RIBBIT! O____O
Adam: A human cat. It's CATMAN!
Braycat: What is a cat? We know of dogs, but not cat.
Dizberg: How ironic.
Zatoichi: We can either wait it out until it goes through is digestive tract, force him to throw up, or I can cut him with my katana. I prefer the last option.
Supwealuhop: Curry powder!
(Supwealuhop makes Adam eat curry powder, doesn't work)
(Keira has Adam drink some Indian potion, and Adam throws up the ring)
Han: I'm not touching that ring.
Emmzed: Or me.
Benson: BENSON DOES NOT WANT TO TOUCH RING.
Braycat: What is ring? And no.
Supwealuhop: Ew...... donut AND ring barf...
Engelsfair: Even commies would not touch it!
Han: I see a hammer and sickle in there...
(Engelsfair digs through the vomit, and finds a plastic hammer)
Engelsfair: Hey! There is no sickle here!
(Supwealuhop says incantations with and sprinkles curry powder on the vomit the vomit is dissolved, leaving a chewed up donut and a ring badly damaged by stomach acid)
Supwealuhop: I'm still not touching it. Sensei, do you think you can get Diem's men to pick it up for us? I can't afford to run up my virgin tab with Murphy...
Sensei: I do not know...
(Sensei calls Diem, who sends Shek and two soldiers in a jeep)
Shek: My God that is disgusting...
(They use tongs to pick it up onto a table. Diem calls Shek)
Diem: What the hell you doing there still? Get my money bath ready!
(Shek and the soldiers speed away)
Han: That ring...is useless!
Nikita: Er, oops?
(An Encyclopaedia Dramatican does goatse near Diem, and is turned into credit cards. Meanwhile, back near the rubble of the Vandal base on a nearby hill Robert Gates in a tattered suit is lying down with a .50 caliber sniper rifle, with his scope on Starnes, who is currently stealing Engelsfair's wallet, which he left there, with absolutely nothing in it. Gates is muttering to himself.)
Robert: I told you, even if it's going to take me all day, I'm going to have my revenge...or something like that...
(Gates shoots. Credits roll)