User:Uncyclopedian/UnScripts:The Young and the Uncyclopedians/82
Episode 82:Death of EDians
(In the ruins of Vandal HQ)
(Robert.....................misses. Starnes shoots Robert, and throws a computer at him. The computer had 99% of Robert's porn, and it is destroyed.)
Robert: CURSE YOU THIEF FROM THE BOWELS OF HELL! HOW CAN YOU BE SO CROOO-EL!?
Starnes: That one had too much porn to carry.
(Scene switch to the group driving around in circles)
Adam: Go North!
Dizberg: No, go South!
Han: Hey, I'm driving this APC, so SHUT UP!
Emmzed: We need to find something new to go after.
Braycat: A place to kill settlers taking our land.
Everyone: SHUT UP!!
(They go get donuts)
Benson: OKAY WHAT NOW?
(Robert Charles Murphy appears in the form of an apparition. The apparition throws down a Monkey's paw)
Murphy: Go nuts. Oh, and you still owe me three virgins, Doctor.
Shandion and Priest: That's it! Lets search for virgins!
Supwealuhop: Keira, can you do me a favor?
Keira: What kind?
Supwealuhop: Pretend to be a virgin for Murphy.
Everyone: SHUT THE FUCK UP.
(Robert comes back again.)
Murphy: Oh, and don't think I'm not listening in on your conversation.
Supwealuhop: Er, that was just a joke, right guys?
Engelsfair: At least commies tell the truth.
(Robert disappears again)
Han: Where is Braycat anyway? I'm sure he'd terminate Supwealuhop.
Adam: In the other APC. Nikita is driving.
(Han runs over a moose. Moonshine wakes up.)
(He runs over to the moose and starts giving first aid)
Han: Dude...it's dead. You can clearly see that. I mean, his body isn't flattened in two places for nothing.
Moonshine: You villain! <faints>
(Han is half asleep)
Han: WHA? What happened?
Adam: You ran over a moose. Maybe I should drive, seeing that you are half asleep and running over stuff?
Han: Sure. <sleeps in a bunk>
Dizberg: These APCs have bunks? YAY!
(Everybody except Adam in the APC sleeps)
(Moonshine, tormented, tries to take for the Monkey's paw left by Murphy. Supwealuhop, sensing what has happened, also wakes up.)
Moonshine: I wish-
Supwealuhop: For the love of Gandhi, do you know what could happen if you use that thing? He didn't leave it here for no reason! <Takes paw> I wish I had three virgins!
(Three fat World of Warcraft-playing nerds appear.)
(Back at the ruins)
Robert: Starnes. You have crossed me. You will not liv...Hey! You just stole my wallet!
Starnes: Hee hee...
(Back in the APC... Keira and Dizberg wake up)
(Supwealuhop) Smashes APC's comlink)
Supwealuhop: Now Murphy can't hear me. She doesn't even know what Keira looks like. Keira, will you PLEASE help?
(Dizberg goes to sleep, Adam closes the sound-proof window to block the noise and image of the two fighting)
Supwealuhop: Ok, I have ways to "persuade" you...
(Scene switch to Vandal Base ruins, you don't want to know what happens here...)
(Starnes and Robert are asleep on the rubble., scene switch to APC, since nothing is going on here)
Supwealuhop: If you don't do this, I'll get Engelsfair. <Does so>
Keira: Nobody cares.
Engelsfair: COMMIEEEEEEEEEE! <Does goatse>
Keira: AGH MY EYES!
(Han wakes up)
Han: I heard that. What happened?
Keira: Engelsfair did a goatse.
Han: Ectis... Birada... Nikto! <Engelsfair is transferred to Encyclopedia Dramatica>
Supwealhop: YOU WERE SERIOUS ABOUT THAT? I knew him well.
(Encyclopedia Dramatica asplodes)
Dramatican: AHHHHHH! COMMIEGOATSE! <dies>
Han: Stop it.
Engelsfair: Fine. At least we destroyed ED.
(Adam lowers sound-proof glass)
Adam: SWEET! And how big is this APC anyway?
Han: Well, We are at the front, the cockpit, to the right hall is a arsenal, and the left are bunks. At the back is a teleporter. In the dark corner in the east, there is a grue.
Adam: To the arsenal.
Engelsfair: I can make it have more arse with a...
(Engelsfair's phone rings. Diem is on the line.)
Engelsfair: Engelsfair on the line! How may I help you comrade?
Diem: You goatse one more time and I swear your ass is on my American express.
(The line goes dead. Han readies his Ectis Birada Nikto.)
Engelsfair: ED is gone.