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Takahashi Yamake-san
Alive and well
A nervous Yamake.
Date of Birth 1 Jan 1970 00:00 UTC
Date of Death 4 Jul 1776 06:06 UTC
Cause of Death Kitten huffing
Alias Yamake
Species Goa'uld
Gender Male
Sexuality Straight
Occupation Kitten huffing
Title Gosh's servant
Family Priest, father
Goa'uld, mother

Yamake Takahashi is one of the three infamous Goa'uld currently lurking on Uncyclopedia. He spends his spare time starting edit wars and tracking down the computer hacker Yamake is a known criminal on the FBI's least wanted list and is not wanted for at least six robberies and one impersonation of a field officer. In addition, Yamake spends his additional free time talking to Gosh and attempting to combat the atrocities committed by Oprah and Stan. He is the current rival of Stan, Santa, Baal, and Your Mom. Yamake has even created his own lame version of Uncyclopedia.


Yamake Takahashi was born on 1 Januaray 1970 00:00 UTC in Henesys, Iceland as the result of a union between the local priest and a Goa'uld. At the age of -2, he left Earth in a starship in search of Gosh, where searched for 111 years. Yamake finally found Gosh on 9 April 1776 06:06 UTC in an outpost on Antarctica. This ended Yamake's search for the elusive diety. Over the next few years, Yamake befriended Gosh, who in turn brainwashed him into believing that Oprah, Stan, Santa, Baal, Your face, and Your Mom were evil. Since then, Yamake has discovered Uncyclopedia and has vowed to huff all references to Oprah, Stan, Santa, Baal, Your face, and Your Mom. He currently resides in West Shinjuku, Tokyo, Nippon.


Yamake maintains a stash of items acquired from Goo. These items include awards, certificates, pins, and buttons.

Awards and Certificates[edit]

Certificate of Respiration
is hereby granted to:
for his/her ability to breathe.
--Uncyclopedia HowTo

Pins and Buttons[edit]

Demonfork.gif This user is a demon, and is afraid of God. Please summon Gosh instead.
Pi3.14.jpg This user loves pi
Youmadewin0ry.jpg This user completely enjoys pie because it is awesome.
Counter-Strike retail box This user is an Asian and probably lives at an internet cafe playing World of Warcraft24-7.
48px-Face-surprise.svg.png This user is happy to help n00bs. Leave a message here.
Grandpiano.gif This user is a big pianist, and as such believes they are better than all other musicians.
Verifying username and password...
Shit! This user contributes using dial-up!
US flag.png This user is American
...and unabashedly proud of it!
(List of American Uncyclopedians)
usb This user likes to use userboxes.

NO This user doesn't care.
MEH This user redefines lazy.
Gefahrensymbol F.png This user is a pyromaniac.

Windows Logo.png This user uses Windows because he or she can't get enough of your lover.

Firefox Logo.png This user believes the Mozilla Firefox could easily defeat Godzilla.

4 This user has written 4 articles because they like to keep busy while shirking real life responsibilities.

Stop hand nuvola alternate.svg
This user has been blocked
1 time.
Bread2.jpg This user is a cereal killer.
Bananaseizure.gif This user will give you a seizure.

See Also[edit]