User:Zana Dark

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Welcome to Uncyclopedia!

This ain't your mom's Wikipedia... ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO ME... ~ Zana Dark

So, You're Curious About Me, Huh?

Hello, <insert name here>. I don't know why you're here. Maybe you're a noob, and I'm watching all your edits. Maybe I wrote something you liked, maybe I wrote something you hated, maybe you're just nosy. At any rate, you're here, so you might as well snoop through all my stuff!!!

To request adoption, help with editing, or to just generally whore yourself, please leave
me a message here:

My Talk Page

NERDETTE:
a sarcastic, bionic, misanthropic genius who writes comedy articles and enjoys geeking the fuck out!

Articles I've Written:

Ginger . rw
Jesus stole my girlfriend

UnPoetia:Show Me Your Tits!

HowTo:Pick Up a Nymphomaniac
HowTo:Handle Flashing Your Vagina in Public .
Sloth .
UnScripts:Secrets of Uranus .
Captain (disambiguation)
Perfect
Ninja Pirate rw
Smartass rw
Lesbo .
Marmot .
John Tesh .
Thief .
Cheesus . rw
Purple nurples .
Tarot rw
Björk . rw
Count Chocula . rw
Cheese . rw
Friedrich Nietzsche . rw
Napolean

Featured Image: Penisland.jpg
This person created an image which became one of the

Featured Images on Uncyclopedia.

Audio I've Recorded:

UnNews:He shoots, he misses!.mp3 file | article

UnNews:Drug dealers go on strike, rehabs becoming increasingly overbooked.mp3 file | article

Awesomesauce.mp3 file | article

UnNews:News runs out.mp3 file | article

UnNews:Michael Jackson dies! Also Farrah Fawcett.mp3 file | article

UnNews:KISS ruins high school graduation.mp3 file | article

UnNews:Kittens Rescued From Burning Building, Grandma Might Still Be In There.mp3 file | article

UnNews:Fourth holocaust movie puts Tehran on alert.mp3 file | article

UnNews:Tide pushes bounds of physics.mp3 file | article

UnNews:Scientific study reveals that David Bowie does not make sense.mp3 file | article

Bad Directions.mp3 file | article

UnNews:Green Day says bad things about Wal-Mart.mp3 file | article

UnNews:New York Times introduces "worse than Ghost Dad" rating.mp3 file | article

UnNews:Lars Ulrich to join Alvin and the Chipmunks.mp3 file | article

Articles I Recommend Reading:

Articles I've Assisted With:

The Bourne Pottery Class

Bad Directions
UnScripts:The Rapid And The Ragey

[edit] Queen of Uranus

Name: Kristie Lee
Age: 28 Años
Job: Full-Time Smartass

I adopt UNC editors and train them to become cage fighters.

THIS USER IS ADDICTED TO COWBELL, AND SHOULD BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS.

This user finds the word "aardvark" intrinsically funny

This user believes participation in the consumption of cheese is an exquisite pastime.

BS:bs

This user has a BS with both a major and minor in BS.

POP

This user is a certified Popular Culture expert, born the same year as MTV, in 1981.

Ain't this user's job, to fuck you on your birthday, anymore.

This user is a member of the Reviewing Committee, because they are self opinionated knowitalls.

This user is too damn sexy

This person has an outrageous sockpuppet in his/her control.

This user likes to eat anything orange.

BEWARE: This user is a random pervert

This user loves pi

This user is an announcer for UnNews because no reputable broadcaster would hire them.

This user's IQ is higher than yours.

This user is a member of the SysRq Fanclub Society, and therefore refreshes his talk page obsessively.

WARNING:
this user is a little floating ass
Now get the fuck out!

This user is a pyromaniac.

This user is happy to help n00bs. Leave a message here.

Join the Collaboratory! (Collab•Laboratory)

[edit] More Stuff To Laugh At

My Contributions
(completely laughable)

My Sandbox
(current musings...)

¿Que?:

Meat
Se7en
Harry Pothead and the Sorcerer's Stoned
Black Sheep
Class Clown
Adam Sandler
Church
Panda
UnBooks:Online Erotica Made Easy
Chick Magnet
Why?:Clean Your Colon
UnNews:Studies show that this study is false
Template:Math
Template:Info
+ - T t …·°º•ø®@»
ass
User:Mhaille/GayPal
User:Colin "All your base" Heaney/Revelations from the therapist's office

Original Images:

I chop potatoes.	China club, ah chingy chang	How I long for my homeland...	Holy Cheesus!
Scary, I know.	Become a psychic!	Tell me what the future holds...	Matt Damon in a mess of clay.
I know, I'm obsessed.	A book by one of my favorite authors.

Noteworthy Uploads:

Sloths hate exercize.	Guilty as charged.	Yep, sums it up...	I LOVE this!!!
Yum Yum!!!	Seriously!	Gosh!

Images I Enjoy:

I love you too!	Sweet Smoking Jesus!!!	You're not the Thinkerer!	Gimme My Money!
Here I am, dead sexy!	I really don't.	Sweet, sweet nothings in thine ear.	Well, I asked him to.

Random Joke:

A man is driving his five year old to a friend’s house when another car races in front and cuts them off, nearly causing an accident. "Douchebag!" the father yells. A moment later he realizes the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face his son. "Your father just said a bad word," he says. "I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it, it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?" His son looks at him and says: "Too late, douchebag."

[edit] My Award Collection

WEREHAMSTER Award
WTF?!!?? This award makes no sense and is awarded for no logical reason.
ZANA DARK IS A WEREHAMSTER!!! BE VERY AFRAID!!</center>

Whirling Star of Vigilance

For making Uncyc a better place within 3 days of your arrival. Good start! –Codeine

Cainad would like you to know that he appreciates your work on The List of the 12 Fundamental Cheeses.

He thinks your improvements to Uncyclopedia are immeasurable.

Unfortunately, he is too cheap to give out cash prizes, so you get this instead.

Congratulations
You have been awarded the secret purple nurples for outstanding acts of uselessness!
[[{|]] [[|}]]

Pocketful Of Ninjastars

I award you a pocketful of ninjastars for making over 70 edits to the same page in one day. –Cs1987

Boomerang Enchanted Ninja Star

For Your Noteworthy Display of Useless Contributions, This ninja star, when thrown, will hit the most random and unanticipated of victims. Most likely you, the thrower. –AmericanBastard

The Uncyc Nail Bat

For making sure I didn't fuck up too badly as a noob and reminding me to sign my edits relentlessly. –Colin "All your base" Heaney

E G A E D M

The Emmanuel
Goldstein Award

June 2009

Article Narrator of the Month June 2009

[edit] My Crappy Templates

I've Been Thinking Lately...

And I think you should try it. Think about it. It makes sense.
Just thinking about thinking makes me think. Know what I mean?

Let Me Tell You Something, Pendejo -

You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click."

( . ) ( . )

[[{|]] [[|}]]

	v • d • e The Dildos
	Banana \| Cigar \| Dildo \| Dildo of Doom \| Dildo plantation \| Space Dildo \| Penis \| Vibrator \| Wonderful World of Dildo

	v • d • e BACON Products
	BACON \| BACON fat \| BACON Mist \| BACON Shrub \| BACONated Grapefruit \| Choco-Butter-Cheez-Bac'n Pops \| Pork Products \| Pigs \| Canadian BACON
	People Named BACON
	Richard BACON
	All things BACON
	BACON-Men \| BACON's Rebellion \| BACON and Cheese Sandwich of 1905

Oops! I said it first.
I ain't Ja Mama, I ain't ya Sistah, I ain't ya Grand Mammy neither!
I am Aunt Jemima and I coined that 'ol SOB!!
Fo shizzle my nizzle Snoop Dogg ain't got nothin' on me!

"Aunt Jemima says you can lick my Jemima!!!"

The 12 Fundamental Cheeses
Blue	Brie	Cheddar	Cheesus
Chucky	Cream	Fromunda	Gouda
Holy*	Jarlsberg	Swiss	Velveeta
*Not to be confused with "Holey" Cheese
The 3 Noble Cheeses
Gourmet	No Gouda*	Whiz
*Also known as "Negative Cheese" or "Dark Dematta"

v • d • e

People named "Captain"

America - Archer - Arrogant - Awesome - Beefheart - Britain - Canada - Caveman - Charisma - Cook - Courageous - Crunch - D - Denial - Exaggeration - Feathersword - Falcon - Fishcake - Hook - Jack - Jack Sparrow - Janeway - Jesus - Kirk - Lamberton - Marvel - Marvel (other) - Morgan - N - Oblivious - Obvious - Omnipotent - Picard - Planet - Raccoon - Sarcasm - Scarlet - Selfish - Slow - Ultra - Understatement - Video

	v • d • e Divinatory Arts and Artists
	Antropomorphing \| Astrology \| Augury \| Ball gazing \| Clairvoyance \| Dice \| Fortune cookies \| Magic 8-Ball \| Monopoly \| Necromancy \| Negromancy \| Nostradamus \| Numerology \| Palmistry \| Phrenology \| Precognition \| Prophecy \| Psychic \| Scatomancy \| Tarot \| Telepathy \| Wheel of Fortune

	v • d • e Cancer Made Easy
	Cancer - Cancer (beverage) - Cancer porn - Clap for Cancer - Cure for Cancer - HowTo:Cure Cancer - Malignant Cancer - Semicolon Cancer - UnNews:Breathing may lead to cancer - UnNews:Local cancer loses battle with woman - UnNews:Uncyclopedia Cures Cancer - Why?:Cancer is Great

	v • d • e Pandamonium
	Fiat Panda - Giant panda - Hairless Panda - Love Panda - Of Pandas and People - Panda Army - Panda God - Pandaface - Pandasex - Pander - Red panda - Red Panda - Kung Fu Panda - The Great Panda Panda-emic

		All Things Sausage
		Bologna - Hotdog - Meat - Salami - Sausage - Sausage Butty Batter Nugget - Sausage roll - Snausages
		Other Sausage Related Things
		Ned's Sausage Company - On Deadly Sausage - Sausage Festival - Sausage party - Sausage-to-Air Missile

	v • d • e Political Parties
	Communist Party ~ Conservatory Party ~ Decepticon Party ~ Fascist Party ~ Independent Party ~ Labour Party ~ Lemon Party ~ Predacon Party ~ Whig Party

	v • d • e The Jacksons
	Andrew Jackson \| Bo Jackson \| Daniel Jackson \| Jack \| Jackson Pollock \| Jacksonville \| Janet Jackson \| Jerry Jackson \| Jesse Jackson \| La Toya Jackson \| Michael Jackson \| Peter Jackson \| Randy Jackson \| Samuel L. Jackson \| Stonewall Jackson \| Who The Fuck Is Jackson Pollock?

v • d • e

Fundamental Stereotypes

v • d • e

Chicken Soup for the Eyes

v • d • e

All-American Role Models and Rejects

User:Zana Dark

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

So, You're Curious About Me, Huh?

[edit] Queen of Uranus

[edit] More Stuff To Laugh At

[edit] My Award Collection

[edit] My Crappy Templates

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