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en-4 This user speaks English at a near-native level.
pl-1 This user is able to contribute with a basic level of Polish.
cs-N This user is a native speaker of Czech.
ru-1 This user is able to contribute with a basic level of Русский.
MEH This user redefines lazy.
Starofdavid.png This user is, and probably controls Uncyclopedia in some remote way.

Warn A Brotha.jpg This user believes that if you see the Police, you should "Warn A Brotha'".
Eaclogo.jpg This user is a member of the Evil Atheist Conspiracy.

"We're after your children and pets."
Utorrent logo.png This user believes in freedom of all types of information for all.

Firefox Logo.png This user believes the Mozilla Firefox could easily defeat Godzilla.

Gefahrensymbol F.png This user is a pyromaniac.

Fibonacci.jpg WARNING: Keep away from this user as they love the Fibonacci Sequence and anything to do with it.
Pi3.14.jpg This user loves pi
DramaticQuestionMark.png This user can also be found elsewhere on the internet.


I am Robert Moshe Zylbrsztajn and I was born one early summer morning in Prague, Czechoslovakia.

I studied American University in Elbonia. After I had fulfilled my military duty in the Royal Forces of Ruritania, I founded International Society for Big Boobs Promotion.

Nowadays I know, my life was totally useless until I found Uncyclopedia, fell in love with it, got the thing for it, got hooked and became Uncyclopedia addicted. I contribute in the Czech language or in English (for the time being at least). However I contribute scarcely as I am quite busy as an Sysop and Bureaucrat of the Czech Necyklopedie, which is the best encyclopedia all over the Internet.

Favourite motto:

"Ching cheng chang chung, tung tang teng ting, bang bing bong."

(In English: "If you have an umbrella in your ass, do not try to open it.")

--Zylbrsztajn 00:00, 6 July 2006 (UTC) --Zylbrsztajn 01:54, 14 October 2008 (UTC)