User talk:An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays/archive1

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Welcome![edit]

Hello, An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays/archive1, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig.png) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome! ---- Major Sir Zombiebaron GUNWotMUotMPotMAotMEGAEDMUPotMMAFEZotMIotMVotMUGotM (shout) 23:01, 3 March 2007 (UTC)

I'd just like to say[edit]

You've got the best username in the history of Uncyc. Ever. -- Hindleyite Converse?pedia 20:50, 23 March 2007 (UTC)

Thank you. It's a bitch to type in every time i login though. An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays 21:54, 24 March 2007 (UTC)

An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays Consult the Oracle 21:05, 23 April 2007 (UTC)

You MIGHT NOtE IT[edit]

KnoW TimEs Not tOO GooD? WheaT In MNY CEREAAAAL? THE cornFLARES? girls)--Fonchezzz 18:48, 13 June 2007 (UTC)

Your sig...[edit]

...is bleeding code. See Signature-orama! for how to make it less space-wasterly. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 20:35, 8 July 2007 (UTC)

Fixed -- crazy Ape (exercise) (Riot Porn) 20:47, 8 July 2007 (UTC)

Hurrah! Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 20:53, 8 July 2007 (UTC)

Excuse Me[edit]

What was your reason to remove the other information on the AKHM page? Most of that other information that was added was the only new information that was added after the page was deleted. Please give me a reason not to re-add the stuff. And besides, I am assuming your first removal was before conservation week. -- 11:41, 8 September 2007 (UTC)

My first change was to add an ICU tag. Then I decided to fix the article as part of Conservation week. Its not the funniest thing I've ever written but can you honestly say that it was funnier before my rewrite. See here for my Pee Review which was ignored. The old article was terrible and is not worthy of a place on Uncyclopedia (See UN:HTBFANJS). Nor is it any good as a compromise with my stuff and yours. I tried to use stuff from the article and the old article was a guide for my version. Please consider it an improvement rather than a replacement. -- crazy Ape (exercise) (Riot Porn) 18:25, 8 September 2007 (UTC)

Okay...[edit]

CANNON YOU DICK

Where do we start?.... Here we go!

Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Guidelines

I'm assumuming you've never read that page, cause you pretty much violate every rule on it. Now what else do we have here...


(From pee review)

: {{{{{#sub:HCPIM|0|1}}comment}}}
: {{{{{#sub:HCPIM|1|1}}comment}}}
: {{{{{#sub:HCPIM|2|1}}comment}}}
: {{{{{#sub:HCPIM|3|1}}comment}}}
: {{{{{#sub:HCPIM|4|1}}comment}}}
Final Score: 21 I get the feeling this article could be so much better. As it is its actually worth huffing in my opinion (Oh the irony!) It needs work Oh, that's what you were trying to say all along?!? I sort of lost your kindness and concern when you called me an eight year old!.
Reviewer: -- crazy Ape (exercise) (Riot Porn) 19:53, 31 August 2007 (UTC)


Now here's your stuff from the AKHM talk page-

I re-added stuff but I really didn't remove anything. I may have added the double picture (I don't even remember seeing two of the same pictures) by accident. I assume I'm the retard That assumption would be correct. I rewrote the article because the old one was a pile of shit What a kind human being you are!. Let me make this plain: THERE ARE NO FUNNY PARTS OF THE THE ARTICLE THAT I DIDN'T ADD. That may sound arrogant but it is, in fact, true.No, that's not true, yes you are arrogant and I might add, a complete dick for even thinking of writing that . I suggest you use my rewrite because 1)It makes no sense as a hybrid. 2) The old article was utter arse gravy Dickdickdickdick.

Here's what Ratmaster posted on my talk page and my response (for reference)

What was your reason to remove the other information on the AKHM page? Most of that other information that was added was the only new information that was added after the page was deleted. Please give me a reason not to re-add the stuff. And besides, I am assuming your first removal was before conservation week. --Ratmaster Don't Hurt Me... | KITTENS! 11:41, 8 September 2007 (UTC) Im sorry that I did'nt find out ratmaster defended my article sooner. I extend my apologies to this NOT DICK for doing this.

My first change was to add an ICU tag "Basically, everything needs to be changed"? How elaborate.. Then I decided to fix the article as part of Conservation week. Its not the funniest thing I've ever written but can you honestly say that it was funnier before my rewrite I swear I could!. See here for my Pee Review which was ignored Not anymore!. The old article was terrible and is not worthy of a place on Uncyclopedia (See UN:HTBFANJS) Nor are you. Nor is it any good as a compromise with my stuff and yours. I tried to use stuff from the article and the old article was a guide for my version. Please consider it an improvement rather than a replacement. An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays Consult the Oracle 18:25, 8 September 2007 (UTC) An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays Consult the Oracle 19:52, 9 September 2007 (UTC)

DarkBlue 20:40, 10 September 2007 (UTC) Lets do this again sometime!

This is not a Whoring![edit]

I repeat this is not a whoring. I was just wondering if you would be opted to vote on my VFH nominated article Buster Keaton this is not a whore because I want you to vote whatever you feel it deserves, but thus far really well respected writers have given it good pee reviews and have voted For it. But you can do whatever you like anyway it's having some slow voters it's not an article name that really draws much attention so could you please vote on it? --Dr. Fenwick 19:29, 4 October 2007 (UTC)

Welcome to UnNews[edit]

UnNews:Scientists create new protein drink from 'recycled' fetuses... ewwww!


The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator, contemplating your fate.

Welcome to UnNews, An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

UnNews Audio

If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

UnNews UnFunnies

At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC) rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 23:25, 15 October 2007 (UTC)

Vote for Head Removal![edit]

Dear Sir/Madam/Fungus,

The article by EugeneKay, HowTo:Cut Your Own Head Off With a Circular Saw, has been nominated on VFH. Please take action and vote with a friendly For. Thank you for your time.

(Vote against and you will have your head cut off)

    EugeneKay wuz here (whine thank)   15:49, 18 October 2007 (UTC)  

HowTo:Get out of Jail[edit]

Hello, I was trying to whore some votes for this, will you support?--Sir Manforman CUN.png 18:06, 20 October 2007 (UTC)

Hello Comrade![edit]

Warning:

You were whored once by an evil man who has gone from the dark side to the side of goodness. He has ended his whoring ways. he has crawled out of his swamp of depression. He has taken up golf and fishing. He has shaved his face. He has taken a shower. He has eaten breakfast. He has put on a white suit. He has gone back to work. He has gotten engaged. He has taken away the hot picture that used to be here. This template replaces the evil whoring he once did. He is sorry. This message was paid for with positive energy and love

--MajorMajor'GUN' Ggarfield, Le Marquis de Nofu .Complex! 19:22, 10 December 2007 (UTC)

Don't listen to a word he says--Æ 20:03, 10 December 2007 (UTC)
In fact, don't listen to anyone! Go vote for user:UnTalented, as that person isn't a bastard unlike the rest of us. --MajorMajor'GUN' Ggarfield, Le Marquis de Nofu .Complex! 01:58, 12 December 2007 (UTC)
Don't listen to him!!! Don't listen to me!!! Ahh!!!--Æ 16:14, 12 December 2007 (UTC)

I'm a Flithy Whore![edit]

Please vote on the health de-plenishing but well reviewed article now on VFH Why?:Does Christopher Meloni not have an emmy yet? you don't have to vote for it but seeing as Chris doesn't have an emmy yet he's greatly appreciate it. --Dr. Fenwick 22:44, 13 December 2007 (UTC)

Merry Xmas![edit]

BonnerGame.jpg
Bonner would like to wish you

a Merry Christgame
And a happy New Game
P.S, You just lost the game
http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/thumb/1/1b/Is_loading_3.gif/12px-Is_loading_3.gif (Bonner) (Talk)

Have a not-shitty Christmas![edit]

WinterBreakCalendar.PNG Heya, The Led Balloon here, wishing you merry Christmas, or any other holiday you feel like celebrating. Just remember what it's all really about: NO WORK, NO SCHOOL, FREE STUFF!!!
Here's to hoping your school(or work) calendar for December doesn't look too much like this...

Merry Christmas, - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon.gif(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 00:26, Dec 17

Bloody Pagans[edit]

PremierTomMayfairCheXMAS.png
Pagans, the Whole Lot of Yous

Premier Tom Mayfair has been a naughty boy this year, but he still deserves a kiss from under the mistletoe. His external organ is fair game.

Premier Tom Mayfair

The Nofu Aristocracy[edit]

Hello Commander, I must inform you first off that you have been approved as a member of the Nofu Aristocracy with the rank of Seigneur (name changed, basically means a minor lord in the nobility class). As the Nofu Aristocracy is busy this time of year, we will not be taking an active role until after the many festivities and holidays. You can still use the title "Seigneur de Nofu", just link it to the forum for now. We will have an official article and department in a while. Your patience is appreciated. Your bank account will be made soon.

Most Officially, --MajorMajor'GUN' Ggarfield, Le Marquis de Nofu .Complex! 01:00, 24 December 2007 (UTC)

Merry Xmas![edit]

~ Merry Xmas An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays/archive1! ~

--YeOldeLuke 08:00, 26 December 2007 (UTC)

Hey Ape: Join PEEING.[edit]

Hey Ape (but I already said that). You might as well sign the membership request on PEEING. You're almost there, anyway. Think of it: a whole new template can go on your userpage!   Le Cejak <-> (Jan 2) 15:33

Pee Review Thanks[edit]

GoldenShower.jpg Rejoice, An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award
GoldenShower2.JPG
For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

Thanks for the review on Why?:Wear clothes 3 sizes too small, you had some great suggestions. Sorry that I didn't get to you until now, I've been quite busy lately--Æ 22:05, 12 January 2008 (UTC)

fuck... I'm sorry! You can kick my ass.[edit]

If you aim it just right, you can severley damage my asshole and rip my nutsack open, thereby making certian I do not spawn any more little fuckfaces.

I ADMIT IT! I WAS AN ASSHOLE! I was a fucking cock-whore noob, I can't take criticism well, and I am officially a shithead douchebag asshole. Therefore, I am officially rewarding you with One (1) free opputunity to kick my stupid ass! (Note: These oppurtunities do not stack and are non-transferable). Feel free to not accept my apology, but this is something I just had get off of my chest. No doubt that your penis is many times larger than mine. DarkBlue 17:13, 17 February 2008 (UTC)

Congratulations![edit]

On the "The Dog Dies at the End" FA. I was going to vote for it, but by the time I noticed it was nominated, it'd been featured already. Good work, though, it's a hilarious artikle. --THE 20:16, 3 May 2008 (UTC)

This Page Is On Fire Pee[edit]

Heyo! Thanks for the pee you did for me, I just wandered by because I wanted to know if there where any more changes you think I should make... I reckon I've done most, if not all, of the ones you suggested (but the herring section may still be a bit weak). Thanks again and thanks in advance! - 16:03 7 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

Hey thanks for nominating it. Pity it didn't make it and died so quickly! Oh well. - 23:40 16 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

UnSignpost: May 22nd, 2008[edit]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 20:06, 22 May 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: May 29nd, 2008[edit]

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 02:54, 29 May 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: June 5th, 2008[edit]

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 05:13, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: June 12th, 2008[edit]

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 17:06, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

End of your finals[edit]

I noticed that you aced your fingerpainting final. Could I get some regular ol' non-Pee Review feedback on an article? Also, instead of waiting for a response, let me just link whore it to you now: Traditional Values ...I just thought you might like some activity on your talk page. If you don't want to, I'll understand, but I warn you: I WILL CRY.   Le Cejak <0:39, 21 Jun 2008>

UnSignpost: June 19th, 2008[edit]

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 01:15, 21 June 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: June 26nd, 2008[edit]

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 22:27, 27 June 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: Jewlie 3rd/10th, 2008[edit]

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 06:22, 12 July 2008 (UTC)

Poo Lit Surprise[edit]

I'm sending you this because you are signed up to judge the Poo Lit Surprise. If you no longer want to judge or are incapable of, please tell me as soon as possible. If you're still good to go, here are the instructions:

First, read all of the articles in your specified category. Second, judge them. Judge how you like, as long as it's at least fair and based on merit (one suggestion would be to use the Pee Review format). Post your top 5 articles here. Hit me up on my talk page for questions, comments, or if these rules are not cognizant within you.

Thank you again for your valued participation in the balletic train wreck that is the Poo Lit Surprise! ~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:26, 15 July 2008 (UTC)

ICU usage[edit]

Hya Ape, I've noticed you've put an {{NRV}} template on an article. This has been long ago deprecated. Please the {{ICU}} in the future. Also, try not to be too harsh with your remarks, we're trying to be nice to noobs, not scare them off. Thanks. ~http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/f/f6/Jewriken.GIF 11:16, 15 July 2008 (UTC)

OK, noted. -- crazy Ape (exercise) (Riot Porn) 22:54, 16 July 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: July 17th, 2008[edit]

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 05:58, 20 July 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: July 24th, 2008[edit]

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 16:34, 24 July 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: July 31st, 2008[edit]

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 07:42, 5 August 2008 (UTC)

signpost[edit]

hey ape, thanks for your contribution to the signpost this week! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 17:11, 7 August 2008 (UTC)

No problem. I'm hoping to become a psuedo-regular contributor. -- crazy Ape (exercise) (Riot Porn) 18:12, 7 August 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: August 7th, 2008[edit]

Painstakingly hand-delivered by: SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:34, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

I tampered with[edit]

the voter guide for the 2008 Presidential Election by adding the Michele Obama thing. My mother, who is a crazed voter that we all fear gave me the idea, and I just felt it worked with it.

Please don't hate me. Hugs, Dame http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/b/b2/PPsigPPlips.gifGUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 17:40, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: August 14th, 2008[edit]

Fired out of a newspaper cannon by: SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 17:59, 16 August 2008 (UTC)

Paperboy Article[edit]

Like it. Nice one! I have nothing more to say on the subject. I think I smell popcorn. --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 20:41, Aug 18

Thanks. -- crazy Ape (exercise) (Riot Porn) 20:45, 18 August 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: August 21st, 2008[edit]

MantiBot http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/e/e2/Icons-flag-au.png Owner 12:05, 22 August 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: August 28th, 2008[edit]

–—Hv (talk) 30/08 20:16

ADOPT ME[edit]

I wanna be adopted! i have two articles ive written fully, and want help on to make them a bit more uncyclopediaish. i also need help with pictures and formatting, im on here alot. PLEASE HELP!

Ape, I got this guy covered: he asked both of us for adoption, I assume because both of our names have to do with monkeys. Anyway, yeah. That's it. --Mr. Monkey Sockmonkey.gif Pant-hoot here. 00:02, 5 December 2008 (UTC)