User talk:AyumiKitada

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Go Away <insert name here>![edit]

I Dont want to talk right now, i am actualy relly deprest over the fact that you dont love me. and dont say you do i konw your just saying that to make me happy. oh my life is worthless i edit shit and you dont evin think its funny or any good do you, Well Fuck you too like you ever did anything Inportant in your life. I hope a Koopa Devours your AyumiKitada Hateing Sole and a a Koopa steals your wallet.



Dr. AyumiKitada

lol wut


In all fairness, I have no idea who you are. So please stop entering my home and drinking my Vanilla Coke. I KNOW IT WAS YOU. --User:Kalir/sig 04:04, 26 February 2007 (UTC)
No, I drank your Tequila. --Template:Meteo 14:49, 8 March 2007 (Military)
I assure you I did not drink your "vanilla" coke to be honest with you i hate flavored coke I only drink classic coke.--AyumiKitada 04:17, 26 February 2007 (UTC)
My apoplexies. Your note at the top led me to think you had invaded my home and smashed my memory a la Eternal Sunshine. --User:Kalir/sig 04:22, 26 February 2007 (UTC)
That's ok it happens to me a lot.--AyumiKitada 03:37, 28 February 2007 (UTC)


so, any idea who's number that really is on the paris hilton page. i called it. a guy answered. RMelon 03:15, 26 February 2007 (UTC)


Your a card carrying member of R.A.


And The N.R.A. Woot Gays With Guns

It would seem that you need some loving and awards[edit]

So there:


I love you really

In the name of Allah! Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

has awarded you a Nuclear missile
Now go and destroy the The Zionist Entity

This Template Will Self Destruct in Countdown.gif seconds

User:Mordillo/sig3 16:26, 11 February 2007 (UTC)

In MEMORY of a Friend[edit]

Adult neon.gif NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!
The article you are looking at may not be work safe!

...Although, since you're already here it's kind of too late for this warning to actually be useful.

If a boss or coworker sees this article, claim that it was spam and blame the IT guys. Otherwise, continue to read it until your lewd urges are satisfied.
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called-experts at Wikipedia have an article about Koda Kumi.
Did you know…
That Koda Kumi Is en-fact Not a Slut but is a well respected member of the J-Pop Community? Unlike Utada Hikaru who is totally a slut!

The official Slut Demon of Japan...

Koda Kumi (The official Slut Demon of Japan) is a Demon from the sluttyest part of Hell with a liking for slutty clothing and never stops talking. She is considered the worst J-Pop artist ever in the history of japan and she is currently undergoing treatment for the ten thousand STDs that she obtained from sleeping with men, women and children of legal sexual age around the world.

Koda Kumi on the cover of DON'T, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DO WHAT SHE DOES! Notice that she's the nudy girl, put into the left corner to be inconspicious and hidden.


  • Known As: Ku-chan or That SLUT!
  • Full name: The Forsaken Demon Koda Kumi the Grate whore of Japan, Queen of fornication and master of all sluttery.
  • Birthdate: 4000 years ago awakend from her sleep by the whoring of Morning Musume
  • Concieved: In the depths of Hell.
  • Blood Type: D+ (Demonic).
  • Cup Size: DD
  • Height: 5 foot slut.
  • Father: Satan.
  • Mother: The Whore of Babylon.
  • Religion Satanic.
  • Childhood Dreams: Become more popular than Ayumi Hamasaki & Destroy Sexual Morality.
  • Favorite Movie: One night in Koda.
  • Favourite Word: 性交 Japanese for Fuck.

The "Who?" Years[edit]

Koda Kumi was not always famous. She started as a little girl trying out for Morning Musume (a band of big eyed Asian lesbians) but didn't make the cut. Instead she was forced on Jism Zone (a popular gay porn network who has branched into music and changed their name to Rhythm Zone) and marketed as a drag queen for several songs including "FUCK BACK", "Just Your Lover", "COLOR OF SPUNK," "The Meaning of W.H.O.R.E.", and "So Into Your Mouth (And What's in Your Pants)". Kumi declared herself a true born woman and released some new singles such as "love across the room", "am.a.z.eing sex" and the double single "My real Boobs (haven't been seen in 4 years)/1000 Wanks (And Still Horny)". She later released an album called "grow into my panties".

- "mustard Remainder? mayonnaise? ketchup?"- "No, just taste of sperm..."

Good but not that good[edit]

After the success of her song "My real Boobs" for the game Final Fantasy one million and twelve, Kumi gained a little popularity. She released her next single "Cum With Me" and a follow up single "Gentle Turds". Later she released "Crazy 4 STDs". None of these songs became a hit yet she still released an album titled "Feel me up".

Finally a hit![edit]

Kumi's next single "LOVE 4 MONEY" included the theme song for an old Japanese porn show Slutty Honey. The song brought Kumi success and her follow up singles, "Space", "Kiss a key" and "Hands (in your pants)" were great hits. Kumi released her next album, "shhh! its a secret (that I'm really ayu)" and it was a great success. Her next single with KM-MARKITthefrog (Not related to the convenience store), "Hot Stuff", was so vulgar and sex-filled that a whole word had to be censored! But even though the video is pretty gross, YouTube members still say 'KUMI KODA I LOVE YOU' or 'Great vid! I like her style in this one!'

BEST stage[edit]

Sexing up milk, so youngsters drink it!

Kumi released 2 best albums with just a few months diffence. The first BEST ~first time (not really)~ included most of her singles in addition to 3 new singles: Margarinefly, weed, and Lie / Porn Star. Her next best album, titled "BEST ~second session with my dad~, had all the singles from her 12 singles collection, such as "D.D.D. (DRUGS DRUGS DRUGS)" feat. POTHEAD, "Shake Me Up", "Foot cream feat. "Mr. Blister", "No Regret (About being a whore)", "Newbreastday Eve", "Someday/Boys f♥ck Girls," and "I have WIND" including the newly titled "A Whole New Breast (Because I'm Finally Popular)" which was a bonus track for those who wanted to be engrished out of their minds. For the DVD of this BEST, she had a story within 4 PVs, also known as the you-feel-thighs-someday storyline.


She has just recently released the 44444hotcrap, which was not able to achieve number 1. Such failure on Koda Kumi's part has undermined her self-esteem. She is seen with her boyfriends also known as "the Camels" on the cover of the 44444hotcrap. According to undisclosed sources, that the title of 44444hotcrap came from this photoshoot. She is yet to named the unborn child in her womb as a result of a giant orgy between the camels and a random Arabian woman found in Morecockoh during the MACOCK photoshoot. The hit songs on the single include "I'll be slut for you," "Ningyo-horny", "JUICY" and "With your MACOCK".

You know the difference between Kumi and a bowling ball? You can only put three fingers in the ball...

Yume no Fuckta/Futari damn...[edit]

Hot off the heels of the success of her successful porn shoot, 44444hot crap, Koda Kumi released this single.

Black Cherry Condom[edit]

Featuring the hit singles WON'T BE LONG ('Till We Get It On), Horny Girl/Bitchmei, 44444hotcrap, and Koi no Tsboobies, this album will certainly blow away Japan with its slutty nature. New songs include Intro-fuck-me-tion, GO WAY skank!!, Get up & Do It!!, and Whore Light.

Also included in this terrible album was an english original song, TINKLE TINKLE. It is really terrible, and the majority of the people who bought this album and listened to this song reported their ears burning off after listening to it.

BUTT and 2007 Plans[edit]

Koda Kumi followed up with another terribly disgusting song and PV. Rumor has it was that she was on the phone talking to Paris Hilton about butt sex, and AVEX recorded the conversation and put it into a song for some reason. The PV involves her kissing a female and largely ripping off Ladies Night, by her arch-nemesis Ayumi Hamasaki. Too bad it sucks.

on 26 of June she released I'm FREAKY (in bed), it is actually a 4 A SIDE single but disguised a 1 A-SIDE because she knows that the sales are going to Bomb so she can blame it on the fact that it is only an A side

Ayumi Hamasaki & Koda Kumi[edit]

Ayumi Hamasaki has recently been getting worried about Koda Kumi, (AVEX's new singer/porn star). She feels threatened by the singers talent (and sluttyness so as bitchiness) as her sales continue to grow. Ayumi had this to say: "Just because she has bigger boobs she thinks she's all that! Well, have I got news for you Miss Three-Best-Albums-In-Nineteen-Months, AYUMI HAMASAKI IS NOT GOING DOWN!". Ayumi spent the rest of her interview bashing Slut Demon Koda and throwing accusations such as: "She's just a drag queen", "I think she might even be related to Peco", "my mother can sing better than her!!! Even my grandmother has bigger boobs than her!!!" and "She's got hot stuff? I've had ice that's hotter than her!". All the while Ayu's wig kept falling off in strange synch with the bugging out of her eyes.

Koda Kumi, who has ignored the comments, said this: "I feel sorry for Ayumi, I really do but now that her mental state is failing her." While secretly, Koda Kumi has been lusting after Ayumi's boyfriend, Nagase Tomoya, Ayu throws these comments aside, retorting that Koda Kumi is just a drag queen and Tomoya is gay. This, however, leads to questions as to why she is with him.

Ayu and Kumi were seen later the same day leaving the mall while hitting each other with bottles of Diet Coke. Reports say that the two were on their way to the local gay bar. Luckily for Kumi, she was offered a role in a Diet Coke commercial which aired later.

Ayumi made it clear several days later that Kumi was not invited to her birthday party, and that she was (quote) "A big, stupid poopyface." Ayu spat on the ground out of anger and yelled at a young eight year old for staring at her later that day, and was later seen ripping up a Koda Kumi poster with her toes and soaking the posters with her urine.

See also[edit]

External links[edit]



Please help contribute to my stub. Thank you and all heil The God of Manga!-- 13:40, 31 March 2007 (UTC)

Your User Page[edit]

Your userpage is in Category:User page templates could you take it out? -PatPeter 14:13, 17 April 2007 (UTC)

We think you have promise[edit]

Have you ever thought of being kitsune? Someone will be contacting you shortly.