User talk:Hardwick Fundlebuggy

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Non-negative integers[edit]

Thanks for the lovely pi. I used it as an enema, hope you don't mine. :D rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 18:47, 7 September 2006 (UTC)

Gonzo Journalism[edit]

Marking your edit as "minor" could be a slight understatement! I have to be honest, I disagree with a lot of your edits. It was originally written to be a very similar-but-different homage to Hunter S, rather than the absurdist piece it is now. I understand that absurdism can be appropriate, and some of them are very funny, but not what I believe is most appropriate for this particular article. I know that in the original, large parts were direct from Fear and Loathing - that was the idea, to take something that was already there and just alter it that slight bit for a new context - for me, the humour was in the subtlety rather than the point-blank-hold-a-rifle-to-your-face style that it is in now. As I say, I know that that can be very funny, I'm just anti it for this particular article. TheMono 12:49, 19 July 2006 (UTC)

I'm a big fan of Hunter S, and I really admire the way that you caught his language and used it in the article. After I noted the complaints on VFH and had another look, I thought that the problem was that some of the laughs in the article are Hunter's laughs - they come through his phrases and not what was altered - so those laughs were kind of second hand. So, for the re-write I thought I'd keep all the phrasing structure and rhetorical questions, but just twist the content a bit into the realm of the absurd. In fact, I tried to twist it in a distinctly Gonzo way - by basically inverting all the "dangerous" stuff (drugs etc...) into "safe" stuff (peanut butter et al). I tried to make it Uncyclopedia Gonzo rather than Hunter Gonzo. I think the absurdism is appropriate too because it's all about the excess - it's about pushing the boundaries and not staying safe - and that goes for the humor as well as the life style. In short - I tried to keep the phrasing structure and add to the absurd. You are, of course, absolutely welcome to revert everything I did. It doesn't bother me at all. I was just having a laugh on the ephemeral road to nowhere. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 17:12, 19 July 2006 (UTC)
Good explanation... I see where you are going with it now a bit better than I did before. I think I'll rewrite it another time, borrowing heavily from your changes too. I'll try and make it a little more consistent with my idea for it, while holding on to what you've added too. Thanks. TheMono 02:43, 20 July 2006 (UTC)
Addendum - Done. If you want to give it a flick through, and possibly add anything else you think is appropriate. I have taken out some things I strongly didn't agree with, ie, the strikeouts at the start, and done some other minor tweaks - for example exchanging the winnebago for a Ford Edsel, but I think it make a good synthesis of what both of us saw for it. TheMono 03:12, 20 July 2006 (UTC)
Yeah, it's a nice balance now. A "salt shaker half full of jelly babies" sounded too random, so I made it a paper bag. "Half full" is good, though. Ford Edsel for a Winnebago is nice. I could lose a good month's sleep pondering details like that. "Winnebago" is such a dumb word, I just like to use it where I can, I wonder should I put it up for VFH again? Or will those sharks over there tear it to pieces? Let me know - if you're ok with it I'll nom it. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 14:40, 20 July 2006 (UTC)
I'm perfectly OK with it - though, I think it would qualify as a self nom now lol, you've certainly contributed enough to it. I agree with your paper bag change too. TheMono 00:03, 21 July 2006 (UTC)

HowTo:Play the game "Guess How Old I Am?" Revisited[edit]

Hya, just did a little rewriting on the matter. Any thougts? -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il.png GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI2 AnotM VFH +S 19:42, 12 June 2006 (UTC)

Two thoughts - Where's step 4? and - put more in on the diplomacy stuff. I might have a crack at it myself if I get the time, and it's ok with you? --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 19:40, 15 June 2006 (UTC)

sure, why not make it a joint venture.... -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il.png GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI2 AnotM VFH +S 19:44, 15 June 2006 (UTC)

Pripyat river[edit]

I appreciate your comments. I have been known to produce utterly unreadable cruft and think it hysterically "witty" so it's very important to get a reality check now an then. Again, thanks. ----OEJ 15:22, 11 June 2006 (UTC)

VFH Thanks[edit]

You're a tough critic to please, so I'm grateful for your vote change to "Weak For" on The Root of All Evil.  :) Your criticism was valid. What can I say? I'm too verbose and not the best story planner. I could use a good editor, I think. I regularly ask for help at Pee Review but it doesn't seem like many people visit there. :P --Bear 13:32, 26 April 2006 (UTC)

I'm a tough critic to please? Maybe that's why no one talks to me! :)
As for my vote change, well I had your entry tagged as one of the possible winners on Poo Lit, because the whole The Root of All Evil as a tangible thing, and a holiday resort! ha! - is a seriously good idea. I guess I was thinking that, if it were me, I'd dive right into that idea alone and really unwrap it and see what makes it tick. My against vote was me pushing for that. But then I figured I could do the same with a for vote too. In any case, it's way up there and I'm being picky.
I was avoiding Pee Review for the very reasons you mention, but dropped a few articles there earlier today in an act of pure desperation. --Hardwick Fundlebuggy 14:07, 26 April 2006 (UTC)
  • (Maybe I'll just keep adding to this section? Yes. I'll do that.) Thanks for both your vote for Oscar Mayer and On a stick, and the inspired edits that made "stick" better than I could do alone. :) You really are the stick expert. ~ T. (talk) 22:50, 16 May 2006 (UTC)
No problem, both of them are feature-worthy and people were annoying me with the voting on Oscar Mayer. The voting scores seem to be getting higher all round now. A lot of the stuff on that page will get the spot. It was fun writing the stuff for "Stick" too --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 23:10, 16 May 2006 (UTC)

Hit N' Run[edit]

I was explaining to Prettiestpretty and Bear I don't often revist articles I've written. Too much more to do, and I'm more about creating a volume of B-/C+ work than one or two A+ article. Unlike most men I have no illusions about how dumb or smart I am.  :) I do however appreciate the compliments, and if we ever get all the basic stuff done around here then I can go back and polish earlier articles up. Pretty & Some user both did some work on it which was very cool. I trust them and Bear to do whatever they feel best- and you if you would like to contribute anything. I've read through a couple of your articles, and though I think our humor is different- I like what you've done. Feel free to stop by anytime if your bored and want to collaborate on anything--2nd Lt. Claudius Prime 15:08, 26 April 2006 (UTC)

Anal Glands[edit]

Would you mind looking at Anal glands and sharing you thoughts? Dame PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 13:47, 1 May 2006 (UTC)

Your glands have been probed, sniffed, sorted and steamed lightly in a wordy sauce. I added a load of stuff. Couldn't resist. Feel free to revoke. --Hardwick Fundlebuggy 20:12, 1 May 2006 (UTC)
Nope, you were spot on. Can I pander to your sense of I scratch your back, your scratch mine? Colossus of Barbie needs a vote in VfP and VFH. Can you help? Dame PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 22:44, 4 May 2006 (UTC)
Prettiestpretty, I must confessed I am shocked! This has not happened to me since Dorothy Parker once turned up at the door and asked me if her stuff was any good. "Dorothy", I said, "you surely don't need to pander for my vote on this issue as it is already obvious - a talent like yourself?" She was annoyed though because Isadora Duncan was always asking me to write to the papers about how good her dancing was and I must admit that I did on occassion. Still, I told Ms. Parker that I would re-read her stuff carefully and take a balanced decision in the face of all the evidence, and maybe write some notes in the margins. I shall do the same with Colossus of Barbie and vote FOR it accordingly and as my conscience dictates.
That little boy down the street really deserved a go, IMHO, and Bad Art is great. But there are more things to life than being on the front page. I can't think of what they are right now but there must be some. --Hardwick Fundlebuggy 16:18, 5 May 2006 (UTC)
Sir, if I were wearing a hat at this moment, I would tip it in your honor. Kisses! Dame PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 22:44, 5 May 2006 (UTC)

Uri Geller[edit]

Thanks for the thanks. I find it's easy to get inspiration from the inspiration of others; good work on your good work (pats on the back all around, I guess). It helps too that Uri is a dink, and that when I emailed Randi on an unrelated subject he (or a reasonable facsimile of him) emailed me back the very same day with a reply. Uri, however, has never replied to the emails that I've never sent him, which seems odd as he is a psychic. Ergo, Randi good, Uri dink.

Without the help of others my output here would be much less, although I still have managed to start a few pages myself (modest blush). Modusoperandi 13:24, 4 May 2006 (UTC)

Regarding Uncyclopedia is the worst[edit]

Camel sam.jpg

You are hereby awarded the camel which I owe you. Oh, wait, you were being sarcastic... never mind. :) --Hindleyite Poet Lowrate Talk 20:03, 8 May 2006 (UTC)

Thank you for your camel. It is a Danish camel, I note, and thus not of the highest quality. However, according to aramaic custom, I must reward those who send me a beneficience of camels. You are therefore nominated for the glory of the front page. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 07:29, 9 May 2006 (UTC)
Ha ha ha! Thank you! Although I'm not sure of some of those changes... don't get me wrong, it's funny, but it is completely different than I originally imagined it. It might be worth starting a 'retaliation' article, Uncyclopedia is the best which has the article in its current form, whilst Uncyclopedia is the worst could be reverted. Don't know, I'm not too precious about this sort of thing, but it's just a suggestion. Thanks once again for the nomination! Have a pie!
For nominating 'my article' at VFH. --Hindleyite Poet Lowrate Talk 10:18, 9 May 2006 (UTC)
Whoops! I just found out it was an anonymous that IP made the changes I mentioned. I went ahead and created Uncyclopedia is the best. Anyway, please ignore the comment above. --Hindleyite Poet Lowrate Talk 10:33, 9 May 2006 (UTC)
No worries - Anonymous IP's have been jumping all over it all day and are likely to continue to do so. You're probably going to have to do quite a few reverts. All I've added is the 'Trained Scientist' bit. The voice of authority or something. I thought it might be a nice counterpoint, but junk it if you want. I can't do the "Livejournalspeak" imitation stuff, for which perhaps I should be thankful.
I also like the switch to "Is Best". It's tempting to nominate that one too - but that might screw up the chances of either of them getting on the front page. It would be nice if the thing could switch over ever five minutes, like an animated .gif. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 10:40, 9 May 2006 (UTC)

By Jove![edit]

Just noticed you'd changed your vote for Biggles on VFH, thought I say thanks. Although I was well aware of the Python link (and peppered the article with links to it) the article actually came about through a talk on IRC. Glad to see someone else picked up on Monty Python though.... :) -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

Fickle is my middle name. Hardwick Fickle Fundelbuggy. I very much appreciated the gesture of an image for the banana skin joke and had a change of heart. In any case, 'Biggles is very nicely done' - arf arf, etc.. Theres 2 MP references that I know of - one from the TV show with the Spanish Inquisition and another one in the "Monty Python Papperbok" --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 15:08, 11 May 2006 (UTC)
Aside from the actual reference and link to Monty Python, theres....Fliegender Zirkus, "Biggles Flies Undone", a vague reference to the Cupid foot, and a even "vaguerer" reference to "Ethel the Aardvark Goes Quantity Surveying".....I've got way too much time on my hands.... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
I wonder if you've got ...
Go on! Ask me another.
How about Biggles Combs his Hair?
No, no, we haven't got that one, funny. Try me again. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 14:15, 15 May 2006 (UTC)

What did you do that for?[edit]

You could've been attacked by savage Wikipedians! You should be glad I turned that '?' into a ','. ~ Ghelæ talkcontribs 11:18, 20 May 2006 (UTC)

I say let 'em come. I'll just bewilder them with a shower of gibberish and then run. I suppose, technically, a ? is a . but since it was a question being asked it seemed appropriate. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 11:21, 20 May 2006 (UTC)
It's not that easy to confuse Wikipedians... Anyway, Ok. I forgot what I was going to say. Meh. ~ Ghelæ talkcontribs 13:00, 20 May 2006 (UTC)


Hey, Hardwick. I finished Photoshopping an early version of a potential image for the possible 'Fantanatic' article.

The image is here.

Let me know of any suggestions for changes I can make to it. Cheers. --Hindleyite | PL | CUN | Converse 14:09, 20 May 2006 (UTC)

It looks great. A seamless piece of work. I suspect that some oomph might be got from sticking a fuse in the top. I know that doesn't strictly go with the article idea of pop bombs but visually, it could work. I think it would work best as an UnNews piece - what do you reckon?--Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 14:19, 20 May 2006 (UTC)
Perhaps it might be better as a UnNews article alongside the pop bomb article. --Hindleyite | PL | CUN | Converse 14:26, 20 May 2006 (UTC)
OK, I got my Photoshopping pen back out and had another go at the image. Now it should fit in better with your pop bomb idea. Let me know of any improvements I can make etc. Cheers.
The image is here. --Hindleyite | PL | CUN | Converse 13:50, 24 May 2006 (UTC)

A plea and congratulations[edit]

Right, Hardwick, I've noticed your comment on the Talk page for Tesco Value Ferrari, and I like the angle you suggested. I put ages into the article's content (including the pics) so I don't think a total rewrite is in order, but... this is a sort of ask for help writing the extra bits in. That's if you can be bothered. I think it needs to be more 'America friendly' because some people, mainly non-UKers, are just not getting it. Cheers for adding the comments, look to hear from you on this matter. :-)

By the way, The Dice Man is now looking good, but needs some images. I'll set about looking for some when I can be bothered. Also, Banana Skin Joke is on the verge of being featured... that would make it three features, meaning you can be listed at Todd Lyons' hat-trick list! Not bad for someone who's not even been here two months yet. --Hindleyite | PL | CUN | Converse 13:56, 23 May 2006 (UTC)

Thanks Hindleyite. I'm aiming to be that hat-trick noob. Then, flush with success, I can hit the meths and shout random insults at passersby --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 02:39, 24 May 2006 (UTC)

Yes, it seems that, barring a change in voting patterns at VFH, Banana Skin Joke will be featured tomorrow. Oh, and if you plan to do what you mention, I suggest you take a look at HowTo:Be a Tramp for some further advice! :-) --Hindleyite | PL | CUN | Converse 13:50, 24 May 2006 (UTC)

Congratulations and Jubilations[edit]

Congrats on the NOTM award. Well deserved..... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

  • Seconded. Glad to see you get it, despite my vote. Had I nominated you, you'd have been finished. :) ~ T. (talk) 10:59, 1 June 2006 (UTC)
  • Thirded. Ernest Hemingway would have been proud. Probably. Have a glass of wine Vimto. You've earned it. --Hindleyite | PL | CUN | Converse 11:32, 1 June 2006 (UTC)
Heh - simulcongrats! I congratulated your good self at exactly the same time. Thanks to everyone for this and for the votes. This noob has now been blooded and is ready to go on a savage rampage in the jungle of guffaws. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 11:35, 1 June 2006 (UTC)


Thanks for the nod on this one. And if you're aspiring to be mediocre, you're certainly making a royal cock-up of it. Now that Hindleyite's fallen off the deep end, you look to be the next in line for the boobie prize. :) ~ T. (talk) 04:03, 2 June 2006 (UTC)

Cheers Todd. Embracing Mediocrity was one of those that was clearly going to the top with a bullet. The title alone is fantastic and the concept is nicely worked through. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 08:08, 2 June 2006 (UTC)

You sir[edit]

You Sir may, on the other hand, may have a T-shirt. You haven't been nasty to me (yet) so i think you deserve one.

This user went to Wikipedia and all he got me was this lousy T-shirt

--Usewho'sname? 00:18, 6 June 2006 (UTC)

Many thanks for the T-shirt. I will print it out and make it into a small cardboard hat which I will wear to my next arms dealing conference as a conversation piece and potential deal breaker. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 00:42, 6 June 2006 (UTC)

Texas Jewboys for VFH[edit]

Thank you for the nomination. --Suresh simple.png Swami A. Suresh 12:07, 10 June 2006 (UTC)

I edited your nomination entry though - since it is hardly a self-nomination. --Suresh simple.png Swami A. Suresh 12:42, 10 June 2006 (UTC)
Sorry Suresh - that was because I'd recently self-nommed something. Call it force of habit. Great article, btw.

--Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 12:48, 10 June 2006 (UTC)

I appreciated your critics, since your'e a good writer your self - and forced me to look up William Faulkner. :-)
BTW, you should read Here about how to avoid that your signature code spills out all over the edit page. --Suresh simple.png Swami A. Suresh 19:08, 11 June 2006 (UTC)

Hemingway Suggestion[edit]

I like it as is, but one more recipe could push it over the top. Maybe something tasteless like a reference to shotguns. A "shotgun shell surprise" or something (lead shot in pasta shells?) Dunno. I've only read one story of his.InfiniteMonkey 02:38, 11 June 2006 (UTC)

Cheers for that, infinitemonkey, but I'm not to sure about how to go about it. One problem is that I think that the suicide stuff has been done well already in the Ernest Hemingway article - while the aim of this one is really as a parody of his works and image. The other problem is I've recently gone off the notion of repeating variants of a joke, as it doesn't seem to go down so well with the punters. Third, and most importantly, is my extreme laziness. On the other hand, though, I might do a nice 'Spanish Civil War Paella' or something. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 04:14, 11 June 2006 (UTC)

Thanks once again![edit]

Cheers for nomming my Fantanatics image at VFP. If Pop Bomb carries on the way it is going, it could be your fourth, even fifth feature! Gasp! That IRC is great for sources of ideas. I really must make a point of visiting soon. Anyway, thanks. In return, I've put a link to Pop Bomb in my rented plot at Czar Yah's User page.

I really would appreciate some sort of collaboration some time in the future, that is if you can be bothered. My recent articles have lacked that certain 'something' which makes them that bit better. Perhaps the Hardwick touch can help?
</beg> --Hindleyite | PL | GUN | WOTM | Converse 19:18, 15 June 2006 (UTC)

Of course I'd be happy to collaborate more. Let me know what you want worked on and I'll see what I can spin. How come you're not on IRC so often these days? If you look at my sandpit you'll see a bunch of ideas, many of which have arisen out of IRC. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 19:25, 15 June 2006 (UTC)
Thanks. I've not been on IRC for ages because I've been watching the World Cup, mainly, but also because I haven't really been bothered. I'm not really doing anything tomorrow so I may go on then. Some interesting ideas in your sandpit - I'll have a bit of a think about it. --Hindleyite | PL | GUN | WOTM | Converse 19:37, 15 June 2006 (UTC)


Wow... getting all these votes from awesome authors for Writer of the Month... I think I'm gonna cry I'm so happy.  :) In all seriousness, thanks a ton. I respect you very much as a humorist, and your support means a lot to me.--<<>> 14:24, 18 June 2006 (UTC)

It's official - I'm a humorist! Heh. Cheers Brad. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 16:57, 24 June 2006 (UTC)

Queen of Cleveland, Ohio[edit]

Hardwick dear,

Could you take a look at the Queen of Cleveland, Ohio and add some of your magic? Dame PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 12:40, 21 June 2006 (UTC)

Had a crack at it in my magic hat, though I might well have just had some magic crack for all I know. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 13:26, 23 June 2006 (UTC)

Voting tips[edit]

Hey Mr. Hardwick, I just noticed that your entry here only says "Self nom," when in fact if it were to say "Self nom and For," the article in question might very well be the next one on the main page. I could be wrong, though... Anyway, just a heads-up!  c • > • cunwapquc? 04:59, 25 June 2006 (UTC)

If I may interject, the honorable Fundlebuggy voted For later in the entry (no doubt to confuse me into counting two Fors). —rc (t) 05:16, 25 June 2006 (UTC)
Heh - It's my special "neurotic voting" tactic, which is when I self nominate something and then wait and see how it's doing before actually casting my vote - in a pitiful effort to make myself believe that I actually have some control over the whole process. Thanks for the heads up though, and for the vote. It's gratifying to see old Ernie clawing his way to the top, slowly, like a wounded bird on a sun-bleached African hillside. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 06:17, 25 June 2006 (UTC)
Dang! You're right, those <small> tags in the sigs get me every time! Oh well, sorry for the unnecessary fuss. Hell, next thing you know, people will be dispensing with alphanumeric characters in their sig-names altogether.  c • > • cunwapquc? 07:40, 25 June 2006 (UTC)

Universal Remote Control Everything 3000[edit]

Whoa, dude, thanks for making the edits to this. I appreciate it when others offer a helping hand, especially in this case because I was beginning to run out of ideas. Sometimes it needs another person or two to make the edits to make it even funnier.

I was thinking that for the invention part I might perhaps make the remote be covered in nuclear waste or something to give it its powers, but I think the gamma radiation thing is a bit better. I also like some of the extra randomness of the Rolf Harris thing. Anyway, I think the secret of a good article is to go all-out with the jokes, one after another, perhaps punctuated by one or two more 'serious' bits. I think this might be getting to this point. Do you think that, perhaps with a bit of work (looks around suspiciously), this could possibly be feature material? Cough. --Hindleyite | PL | GUN | WOTM | Reefer Desk - Use it | Converse 09:56, 27 June 2006 (UTC)

It could be feature material - but my judgement on that score hasn't been too great recently. I'd do more with it, but I'm off for a bit soon and won't have an internet connection - back in July, should I survive. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 11:00, 28 June 2006 (UTC)

It’s that God again[edit]

“The truth about god” does seem is bit more sensible (and perhaps a bit less arrogant).I am not sure how to change the title of the article though. Could you do this for me? Thanks a lot. Weri long wang 14:40, 27 June 2006 (UTC)

At the moment the article seems like a Fox News report from a parallel universe were everything exists as its opposite (Like that in South Park). Since the article is more of social and political commentary which is an attempt to decry religion in general (which is what I was aiming for) can you think of a more appropriate title? Weri long wang 14:54, 27 June 2006 (UTC)
To change a title, you just click the "move" tag at the top of the article and put in the new title. Not sure on how to make it more Newsish - "God - His Reign of Terror" perhaps? --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 11:02, 28 June 2006 (UTC)

Deja Vu[edit]

Thanks. I thought they were pretty good too. Unfortunately, some idiots cant see why stuff like that enhances the quality, and makes it funnier. It seems that some even take Uncyclopedia a little too seriously. Oh well... Sir C America...Fuck Yeah!!!! Holla | CUN--18:28, 28 June 2006 (UTC)

P.S. Go see Deja-vu, where my edits are still intact.

How strange - that's just what I thought I saw --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 18:44, 28 June 2006 (UTC)

Deja Vu[edit]

Thanks. I thought they were pretty good too. Unfortunately, some idiots cant see why stuff like that enhances the quality, and makes it funnier. It seems that some even take Uncyclopedia a little too seriously. Oh well... Sir C America...Fuck Yeah!!!! Holla | CUN--18:28, 28 June 2006 (UTC)

P.S. Go see Deja-vu, where my edits are still intact.

How strange, that's what I thought I saw before, before --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 18:44, 28 June 2006 (UTC)


I just nominated you for WOTM, based on the great articles you've made recently, especially The Swedish Orienteering And Firing A Rat From A Cannon Championships. I didnt vote yet, however, because I'm still undecided, but just wishing you good luck, because you are definitely a deserving candidate. Sir C America...Fuck Yeah!!!! Holla | CUN --19:21, 12 July 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for the nomination. I'm glad you enjoyed the various stuff I did, and especially the Swedish one, which was fun to write. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 03:26, 13 July 2006 (UTC)

The Dice Man[edit]

Hey, check this — I just made some minor edits to above mentioned, frickin' outstanding article. I just wanted to draw your attention to them because I'm uncertain about a couple things, like: I've always known Grass as a Günter, but maybe that's just Dumericanized or something. And I added an mdash where you might not want one. And, to rid it of the couple red links I think I made a bit of a reach to blueify 'em. I'm sure you're aware how difficult it is to find a link to Dustin Hoffman — I looked up Rain Man, Ratso Rizzo, Mumbles, Dusty Hogman, Dustbin Hopper, etc., but to no avail. Anyway, love the article, which surprises me not at all. -- Imrealized 18:32, 13 July 2006 (UTC)

Great stuff, thanks. Gunter needed an umlaut (sic). Dustbin Hopper - great name (an evil creature, a kind of cross between Dustin Hoffman and Dennis Hopper - spends it's time eating from rubbish bins and using a weird kind of gas mask - has these huge hindlegs etc...) --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 19:39, 13 July 2006 (UTC)

Sesame Street story[edit]

Nice work. The Elmo caption killed me.--Procopius 20:48, 14 July 2006 (UTC)

Cheers - glad you liked it. You can mostly thank the BBC though, because I saw the original story there and just had to re-write it with only a few changes. It kind of parodies itself. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 05:34, 15 July 2006 (UTC)


Well, Hardwick, since in my opinion you're one of the funniest writers on this site, would u take a look at Rap? I just rewrote the article, and I wanna get some feedback. What would be best is if you could add to it, if you have the time. Anyway, please take a look/add. Thanks, -- Sir Cornbread The Great America...Fuck Yeah!!!! [SHOUT] [MUN] 02:48, 17 July 2006 (UTC)

I like it, especially the latest part you added. Here u go! -- Sir Cornbread The Great America...Fuck Yeah!!!! [SHOUT] [MUN] 05:01, 17 July 2006 (UTC)
Cbread.jpg Plate of cornbread!!!
Sir Cornbread has done awarded you a whole plate of cornbread fo shizzle! You should feel really special. Now, go get some pork chops and fried chicken, and have yo' self a nice home cooked meal. --Sir Cornbread

Swedish Orienteering and Rat firing and Calpol[edit]

I never knew you could scrawl on people's talk page things, so I'm repaying the compliment. I'm glad you liked the little edit, the rat firing page is fackin hilarious and if plugging some crappy page by me helps it then that's all fine and dandy. You wouldn't happen to know if there are any rat firing championships in Berlin, I'm moving there in a couple of weeks and I want to see what the fuss is all about.

--Billsheppard 07:12, 22 July 2006 (UTC)


I put the Rap article up on VFH today. I think it has a shot, your intro will catch attention, and the rest is good too. Got my fingers crossed...-- Sir Cornbread The Great America...Fuck Yeah!!!! [SHOUT] [MUN] ~RAP~ [GET IT FEATURED!] 18:31, 23 July 2006 (UTC)

Afore ye go......[edit]

I'm looking for potential Judges for a forthcoming writing competition, and would like to know would you be interested? Of course it means you can't enter, but life's like that. Let me know ASAP, as the launch is likely to be announced very soon. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

I'll do it, but how do I collect the bribe money? --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 02:13, 30 July 2006 (UTC)
We send out enforcers out and all takings are split equally. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
Shouldn't I be receiving the envelope around now? Is there any formal method to this or do I just read all the things and send you my faves - or maybe just pick a few at random to save time?
Indeed there is.....sneak off to my User Page, and click the EMAIL THIS USER link in the toolbox (under the searchbox in the side navigation) and send me your 1st, 2nd and 3rd placings for the Best Rewrite Category. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
That's not working. In order to email you, I have to validate my own email, and even though my email is valid for large swathes of Turkmenistan, the system refuses to email me with it's handy little validation code. So I remain illegal. I've read all the entries though, had a lay down to recover, and come up with a top three. Is it possible to get them to you some other way? --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 12:31, 18 August 2006 (UTC)
Visit us in IRCland, and I will reveal all. Well, not all.... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)


I know you're not knocking about here as much any more, but I just had to thank you for nominating my article Pixellated Face Disease, which seems to be a roaring success at VFH.

Personally, I really want to see Edvard Munch featured but some people are not 'getting it', it would seem. Perhaps the recent news reports about The Scream being found again might nudge people in its direction. The problem is, an article either gets featured right away or it stagnates in the middle of VFH - that's where it and SBBN are at the moment.

Anyway, thanks again, and good luck with Humosexual as well. -- Hindleyite 12:05, 1 September 2006 (UTC)

Cheers Hindleyite. I saw you'd updated the recent items so I went straight there and nommed it in about 5 seconds flat. It's a clear winner. I thought about adding in a twist on it too - a piece about how sufferers can't deal with the condition, so after the initial shock of seeing themselves in wedding photos and such, they often turn to drugs and crime, which is why you see so many of them on those programmes. I thought it would be nice to link up those two things. But, as usual - no time....
My stuff does tend to stagnate on VFH. I like to think of it maturing there, like a good cheese, until people no longer can stand the smell of it and vote it on the front page out of sheer desperation. Humosexual is nearly there - and as for the other two ... well the main thing for me is when people write stuff like "Hilarious" etc... That means more to me than actually getting on the front page. The downside is when someone votes against with a reason that I just can't understand. "Not funny" is OK, but some of the reasons baffle me. I really have to restrain myself from tearing into them on the site when that happens.
Of course, when your an admin (a forgone conclusion), I might have to "call in some favors" on that front - get me out of jail and so on. Heh Heh. How do you send envelopes full of cash through the Internet thingy? I am so behind the times.... --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 12:48, 1 September 2006 (UTC)
You mean you didn't get a letterbox fitted with your computer? You really should take it back and claim back your money...
Yeah, it peeves me off too when people vote 'against' without giving a reason. I mean, how are you supposed to force them fix it so they can change their vote?
As for if I become an admin, not much would change except I'd probably end up banning some vandals and deleting crud as well as the stuff I usually do. Of course, I wouldn't want to be showing any bias towards/against any users, though I might be persuaded otherwise... although I pretty much tend to operate on a 'favours' basis here on Uncyc anyway. -- Hindleyite 13:08, 1 September 2006 (UTC)
And, might I add, mucho congratulations on the Writer of the Month award. You're probably my favourite writer on the whole of Uncyclopedia. No kiddin'. -- Hindleyite 10:47, 2 September 2006 (UTC)
And congrats back to you on the recent Op .. eration. Well done and much desereved. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 11:50, 2 September 2006 (UTC)

VFH Username[edit]

Thanks for that, I had a giggle. To be honest I've been waiting since people started talking about {{USERNAME}} on HMS Potatore for someone to notice that it only works once per page.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 15:57, 3 September 2006 (UTC)

VFH and whatnot[edit]

Thanks for removing your against vote on my article...My vote against Humosexual wasnt personal or anything, I love most of your stuff (I nominated you for WOTM if you remember). Just saying thanks and letting you know I have no hard feelings, and congrats on yet another feature. -- Sir C America...Fuck Yeah!!!! Holla | CUN 20:52, 10 September 2006 (UTC)

No problem. I know it wasn't personal. And nomming me for WOTM is indeed much appreciated. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 13:05, 11 September 2006 (UTC)


Did you get banned for editing another's comments? Savethemooses did that to me once, and when I moaned, he just did it again. One law for them, eh? You realise, don't you, that since banning you made you write a VFH article, they might make it a regular occurence? 20:48, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

I did get banned for edting another's comments, but I put the whole thing down to a random chance of birth. I wrote the article in conditions of suffering, which is perhaps why it is doing so well. The one's I write while frollicking on a sack of gold don't tend to do so well. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 06:49, 4 October 2006 (UTC)
For the record, HF, you can "ruin" any of my articles any time you want.  :)--<<>> 13:53, 4 October 2006 (UTC)
Cheers Brad. I think I might have already ruined one of them. Rogue Punchlines - I'm sitting in it now. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 16:06, 5 October 2006 (UTC)
Upon further review... indeed you did! <Mr. Burns> Excellent.</Mr. Burns>--<<>> 00:18, 8 October 2006 (UTC)


On another featured article. Told you it would do OK.... :) Now I need to start pimpin' The Wicker Man like there's no tomorrow. Which there may not be? Who can know these things? I know I voted against your article (though for a specific reason), but I did think it was funny. Anyway, well done.... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

A few things[edit]

First of all, I'd like to thank you for your vote for me at Uncyclopedian of the Month. As such, you are the first person to be awarded two pies by me!

I really should make that award a general cookie-style prize. Anyhow, regarding User:, er, have you gone mad? it's looking good. How I laughed. Glad to see you back writing as well. I need to start writing again, so I can beat you to STM's record at the VFH Hall of Shame... but anyway, keep writing and making people laugh.

Finally, may I point you in the direction of Custom Degrees? I started it ages ago but it's had no attention. Perhaps the 'Hardwick touch' can breathe some new life into it? That's if you have the time and patience. Even if it's just a couple of sentences.

And er, that's about it. Have a chip butty on me. -- Hindleyite 13:45, 20 October 2006 (UTC)

Cheers for the for the dual-pie + butty-combo contribution. User: was really one of those things that just was right for it's time. I write as I thought, with hardly a break. I hope I didn't freak you out too much with it. I have no idea what user spam is, so I guess I broke yet another rule without trying.
I am still nearly retiring all the time - my wife keeps yelling at me if she sees me on the site, telling me I should be doing this for money and not for free, so it's difficult. I'll have a look at Custom Degrees now. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 03:44, 22 October 2006 (UTC)
Thanks for the additions to Custom Degrees! It's much appreciated. Sometimes I can run out of good material, so I find it useful when people help me out with articles.
As for 'userspam', don't worry about being in trouble or anything. I was only joking - it's something I made up... but it refers to when people specifically name users' names in articles. I'm not really that bothered about it, but I found it slightly disturbing that this article was speaking to me directly. It was slightly scary.
And yes, I ought to stop wasting my time on Uncyclopedia and concentrate more on my Uni course, but I guess I'm just lazy. If only there was a way to combine the two... -- Hindleyite 10:54, 22 October 2006 (UTC)

zims hate mail[edit]

I'm glad it made you laugh. I was laughing while I was typing it. rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 22:00, 22 October 2006 (UTC)


Do not be hating the wonderful comma. Why, without it's pausey goodness my sentences would carry on virtually unpaused. Even that chronic under-actor who played Kirk would be hamstrung by an inability to stop sporadically in mid phrase. Of course, he could always revert to the bastard period triplets; the damnable ellipsis. Don't get me started on those...or we'll be here all night. Thanks for the edit on The Bureaucracy Channel. I doubt that it will help scatter the naysayers, but thanks anyway.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 09:34, 25 October 2006 (UTC)

No worries. It always bugs me when people vote against stuff for entirely wrong reasons. There are good lists and bad lists, just as with everything else - and those were some good lists. The "comma" hating thing was supposed to point that out to people. Not liking a list because it is a list is like hating a comma. But will anyone understand? Will they fu ... rtively conceed to the point? I doubt it. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 11:51, 25 October 2006 (UTC)
Dang kids these days. When I was a lad, we respected witty reparte and word play of a polite nature. Now it's all "F" this and jokes about poop. Pshaw and tarnation! I think their hearts have grown hard to the good order and whatnot of the humble's not even a list. It's a schedule. List are "Things God hates: Chuck Norris, Oprah, Wilde, etc". Schedules kicks list ass. Man, I've been working in an office for too long.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 13:00, 25 October 2006 (UTC)
I prefer...nah verily effervesce...over the use of the humble ellipsis...though its use is often grammatically incorrect, it makes me feel all warm inside... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
I, meanwhile, prefer the simple pleasure of the comma. The comma, you see, allows me to write in a similar, but not identical, manner to that which I speak. Without the pause, you see, I become afflicted with what can only be described as a combination of mumble and stutter, as my brain, sadly, outruns my mouth by a considerable margin. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go back and obsess over my two sad and lonely pages which at this very moment lay on VFH, trapped by user ennui, and whipped mercilessly by the cruel relentless winds of users' distain. Or, alternatively, I'll do something else entirely. Yes, something else will do nicely.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 13:21, 25 October 2006 (UTC)
I did something else entirely. It was quite refreshing and I highly recommend that more people try it.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 19:37, 25 October 2006 (UTC)

Eeh... the pension's not what it was when I was a girl[edit]

Eeh... this was all trees when I was a girl. I stand evaded beside you. But now I think I'd best have a bit of a sit down. I'm not as young as I once was. And the potted beef is playing a merry jig with me innards. Eeh, and this weather does the dickins with me arthritis. Could you pass me a blanket? And me knitting? -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au.png KUN FP 12:19, 2 November 2006 (UTC)

I think some of your phrases are familiar there, Armando, probably from some conversation I had or other - I can't quite seem to remember. I think it was before the armastice... oh, how we celebrated back then. There were cakes and jelly and... lost me thread for a moment ... eh, yes... back when I we're a lad, son, all this was trees - and it was boring as fuck, let me tell you, but thankfully, they've cut down all the trees now and built a pub and a carpark, so go get me my whiskey and then I'll let myself get smashed silly in front of the telly. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 14:23, 3 November 2006 (UTC)
Eeh, them were the best days of our lives, they were, during the blitz, having a right old knees-up in the Bethnal Green tube station while Jerry bombed the bejesus out of us. Also, I'm talking like Mrs Brady (Old Lady) out of the Viz comic. Which is not as funny as it used to be. -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au.png KUN FP 14:29, 3 November 2006 (UTC)


If you're not to busy would you mind having a look at this? (Politician)I've tried rewriting it a few times but I just can't seem to get it right. It feels a bit disjointed and cliche. Plus it looks dull, really dull. I need a way to liven up this page slightly. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

--Winstanley1 20:18, 8 November 2006 (UTC)

Hi Winstanley. I kind of agree with the comments on Pee Review. It's too exagerated at the moment. You need to really think about politicians seriously first, find out some truths about them - some opinions of your own also - and then let the funny stuff come. I've been stuck like this myself on articles and it's a tough one to crack. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 21:13, 10 November 2006 (UTC)

The Uncyclopedian's Song[edit]

Now with AUDIO!!!

  Sir Tooltroll, Esq. CUN  Eh?  Oh!  UnTunes! Cannabagreen.jpgI Card-hearts-up.gif my cat! 12:02, 10 November 2006 (UTC) Nice use of percussion. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 21:20, 10 November 2006 (UTC)

You set me up![edit]

You was wearing a wire, wasn't ya?! I knew I shouldn't a trusted ya. You got me to nom your article and then take the fall when the feds stepped in! If I'm goin down, I'm takin you wit me! But Seriously...I thought it was better a long [ago], back when you first finished it. Then you got sucked into what all the unwashed masses want, and you lost yourself. You just need to find that buggy who loves to fundle again. In summation, I'm sorry your horse ended up breaking it's leg at the track and I'm also sorry we had to put it down, and I'm also sorry I missed the first time and accidentally shot it in the broken leg. --Anyone 19:59, 10 November 2006 (UTC)

Yeah, sorry about that. I really appreciate the nom but I think I kind of did a Guy RItchie, and disappeared up my own fundament on it. One thing about writing for this place - you learn a lot very quickly. Todd Lyon's comment made me realise that the whole innuendo thing was actually just completely the wrong idea, and I realised I just hadn't got the right angle on it at all. It wasn't subtle and it wasn't pretty. I still want to make the idea funny but in a completely new way which I just don't know yet. Anyway, the next bunch of articles are going to be back on form, I hope. Like, e.g. this one, which I am having fun with at the moment and which your contributions to would be valued: User:Hardwick_Fundlebuggy/the_Free_World. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 21:30, 10 November 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for the Nommie[edit]

Writtar of the Month nommie -- thanks for it. Fortunately it appears not to be a contender so I can continue to avoid social interaction! Respectably yours, ----OEJ 20:09, 11 November 2006 (UTC)

Consider it an honorary nom. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 17:38, 21 November 2006 (UTC)


For the additions. I was running short of ideas.  :) ~ T. (talk) 14:37, 13 November 2006 (UTC)

It is actually a very enjoyable one to edit - I hope to re-visit it when I get the time. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 17:37, 21 November 2006 (UTC)


Fix your sig. You are currently spewing code all over pages. Your sig needs a raincoat. Instructions are here. 11/13 21:39

It's fixed now, I think. The experience was rather like doing the washing up. Necessary, but dull. Now I can get back to the crack cocaine with a clear conscience.--Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 17:40, 21 November 2006 (UTC)
Thank you for doing your part to make uncyclopedia better. I salute you, good sir. 11/22 03:22


Thanks again for the tweaks on The Bureaucracy Channel. I don't know whether they helped it achive featured status, or hurt it. I do know that they did something. I'm thinking too that I'm not the only one who has either had to deal with, or indeed is part of, a bureacracy.

As for UnBooks:Diary of a Caveman, I blame you for on its lack of votes for a week. Initially I tried blaming me for it's quasi-success, but every time I called myself the phone was busy.

In conclusion; thanks. --Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 18:25, 20 November 2006 (UTC)

Who knows? It is ultimately in the lap of the gods. Just under the god's newspaper, and next to his knitting. He's liable to forget things too. Not so much a vengeful god as a forgetful one. Usually I just sing to the muse until the muse tells me to shut up, because the singing is her job. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 17:35, 21 November 2006 (UTC)


Could you have a look at my article? I was told by someone to let you cast your expert gaze over it. --—Braydie 15:20, 25 November 2006 (UTC)

So, Hindleyite is outsourcing now, is he? Well, it's going somewhere - you're sticking to the truth, which is good. But to extend that notion - I did a couple of things as pointers for you. The first paragraph plays on the idea that forming a band is not actually easy in a kind of absurdist way. The next bit inverts the obvious rather than states it. Instead of flatly saying the lead guitar is coolest, pick something really uncool, e.g. the triangle, and make 'em laugh with the inversion. If you like those ideas you can take them and run with them through the rest of it. Hope this helps and good luck with it. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 09:30, 26 November 2006 (UTC)
I made some more changes, tell me what you think. --—Braydie 13:26, 26 November 2006 (UTC)

Hey HF[edit]

You wanna judge for the next PLS? I ask, because I want you to. Lemme know if the idea of judging other people's work for a contest sounds like a good idea to you (on my talkpage, preferably, as I've been known to forget I left things at people's talkpages, wander off, etc). Lemme know either way. Cheers!--<<>> 00:12, 3 December 2006 (UTC)

There's going to be another? Glee!--Witt, Union leader.gif of Union member.gif UNion Entertain me* 00:21, 3 December 2006 (UTC)

Oh, Hardwick...[edit]

Ref: this, and maybe this. Take it up with an admin or start a forum topic, but don't throw a hissy fit. That's drama. We've got too much of that right now. Uncyc doesn't need more. It's Christmas, man, so start a fire, have some nog, and relax. Come back when, and only when, you get your head straight. Good users are the white goo that holds the Oreo of Uncyc together. Drama is the prying fingers of your little brother that tears that very Oreo apart. --Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 06:57, 3 December 2006 (UTC)

I'll calm down soon enough, Modus - but right now I've just had enough, really. It used to be a lot more fun around here in a lot of ways. Now it's just getting too much. I woke up this morning to find two more articles removed, including "The Free World" which was an entirely arbitrary one, since it was last voted on on the 28th. It is a terrible rule for some users - i.e. me, who have to sit and wait for their articles to be removed every five days. I've made a topic. I'll switch my user page back. But the articles are staying off
Hey, Hardwick. If you wanna talk to me about it in IRC, or on my talkpage, I'm definately open to suggestions of how to do it better. The fact is that we get too many articles on VFH, and the Darwin rule helps put the ones that are most popular on the front page. I've tried to make sure we do it in the fairest way possible, but, well, when you have to shoot someone's baby, choosing whose is not easy, especially when for some reason the parents aren't happy about the fact when you choose theirs.--<<>> 13:04, 3 December 2006 (UTC)
Ok, I'm changing the minimum dead period for stagnation from one week to two weeks. Does that sound good?--<<>> 13:48, 3 December 2006 (UTC)
Cheers Brad. I appreciate it. Er ... Can I put 001 back now? Parkhurst Pete can go take a running jump, but 001 was doing nicely, and I um... removed it this morning because I was, well, angry and stuff, and now I feel silly ... --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 13:54, 3 December 2006 (UTC)
I've renommed it, and toned down the venemous nom message I put up originally (as that would have severely hurt its chances). I don't care for the "taking my ball and going home as a first option" way of doing things, though that does seem to be everywhere the last couple of days. Sorry my first reaction was so negative. It's up, and it should (hopefully) do well again.--<<>> 14:11, 3 December 2006 (UTC)


Ice-Cream.gif Braydie has awarded you some ice cream!
For voting for HowTo:Make a Band

HowTo:Cheat At Scrabble, if you were wondering. --—Braydie 16:50, 5 December 2006 (UTC)


Thank you for voting for me, even though I keep giving you QFH's (it really IS an honor, and you might start putting what your score was when it was taken off on your userpage. That might help lessen the sting a little :) ). Anyways, votes for Uncyclopedian of the Month by a talented writer like yourself really means a lot to me. Thank you again.--<<>> 18:01, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

Ahhhh... but would Quasi-User of the Month be quite the same thing now? :) You clearly deserve the award, as everyone is pointing out, and I for one will be very happy to see you get it. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 05:43, 6 December 2006 (UTC)

HowTo:Cheat At Scrabble[edit]

What do you think? --—Braydie 00:05, 7 December 2006 (UTC)

I thought "Doesn't need my help" - and I was right. Nice one. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 17:03, 16 December 2006 (UTC)
Haha. Thanks anyway ;D --—Braydie 15:43, 17 December 2006 (UTC)

Did you want to judge for the PLS?[edit]

If not, please let me know, and I'll ask someone else. (I never got a yes or no from before)--<<>> 14:55, 16 December 2006 (UTC)

Sorry Brad - sure, go ahead. I'll be judge. I did the last one and lived. What does not kill me, makes me stronger, etc... --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 17:02, 16 December 2006 (UTC)
Woohoo! Thanks! We've got a great set of judges this time, and I'm excited to be able to add your name to the list.  :)--<<>> 13:25, 17 December 2006 (UTC)
Great set of jugs? And what do you mean "this time"? You had a problem with my handpicked collection of vagrants? -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
Mhaille, it's a fair bet that if I say something insulting, I misquoted myself.--<<>> 17:54, 17 December 2006 (UTC)

The Free World[edit]

Wahey, it's featured. Just had to congratulate you on another winning contribution. Also:

Tvcc.jpg Hindleyite was throwing away last year's Christmas cards, and
realised they had purposefully forgotten about you.
This user doesn't care about Multi-culturalism,
and DEMANDS you have a Merry Christmas... NOW!

I'm now off to write an article about something current so I can get in The Guardian. -- Hindleyite Converse?pedia 11:38, 17 December 2006 (UTC)


Tvcc.jpg Bradaphraser was throwing away last year's Christmas cards, and
realised they had purposefully forgotten about you.
This user is completely thoughtless, doesn't care about Multi-culturalism,
and therefore DEMANDS you have yourself a Merry little Christmas... NOW!

Failure to comply with result in disciplinary action up to and including excommunication from the Capitalist Church

May you focus on your successes and forget your failures here at the end of the year. Never forget how we all improve one another's lives. Season's Greetings.--<<>> 17:35, 17 December 2006 (UTC)

Xmasmoosewreath.png Nothing says [[Insert religious or pagan holiday of your choice]] like getting drunk with a moose. So this year, why not savour a treasured Canadian tradition with a bottle of hooch, horns, hooves, and hypothermia? The drinks are on me. ~ Todd Crown Royal.jpg

--Sir Todd GUN WotM MI UotM NotM MDA VFH AotM Bur. AlBur. CM NS PC (talk) 16:11, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

PLS !!![edit]

Your judge packet, sir.  :)--<<>> 21:51, 17 December 2006 (UTC)

Merry Christmas[edit]

Jumpercsc.jpg Santa Claus has given you a Jumper for Christmas..
This was hand-knitted by Mrs. Claus herself.
If you wish to complain about your Christmas present, do it here.
Merry Christmas!

From Santa Claus.

If you are another child that thinks they need a present, leave a message here (Santa never forgets, but he is getting on a bit.) Ho Ho Ho from Santa Claus 15:18, 23 December 2006 (UTC)

From me[edit]

  Sir Tooltroll, Esq. CUN  Eh?  Oh!  UnTunes! Cannabagreen.jpgI Card-hearts-up.gif my cat! 08:07, 19 December 2006 (UTC)


Merry Christmas. ~ Mitch

-- Mitch Icons-flag-au.png 06:52, 24 December 2006 (UTC)


I should probably include you in my many thanks' for the AotM, as it's partly your fault. Rather than a template, I wrote UnUnNews: Lindsay Lohan says "Gonch is for chumps" as my thank you. The title, while catchy, makes no sense in the bigger picture. In the smaller picture, it also confounds, but less so.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 07:41, 1 January 2007 (UTC)

Gas tungsten arc welding[edit]

or G-TAW as they're calling it on the streets. I was just reminissing remminissing remembering how it never quite made it to the promised land and now with the new "we'll feature anything including The Wicker Man" VFH I figured maybe even this little runt could make it. I just wanted to get your input before I nommed it though; I'm not sure either of us could take it if it failed again. I never thought I would stop crying the last time, and that nasty drug addiction cost me my house. And didn't your wife leave you? Anyway, yeah, I guess what I'm saying is let's nom it and create a horde of sockpuppets if that's what it takes because the ends always justify the means. --Anyone 21:20, 17 January 2007 (UTC)

PS:How about you archive your talk page ya lazy bum. Cheeze Louise...
Cheers Anyone. Go ahead an nom it if you want. I doubt it will make it though. People seem to think it's too rampant or something. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 12:02, 18 January 2007 (UTC)
Woah, easy there Andretti. No reason to go all gung-ho into things. No, we need a more willy-nilly approach. Dare I say...a plan of attack. Currently there are 21 articles on VFH and not a one of them any better than G-TAW, imho. We just need to get everyone else to see that. Now while blanking all of their articles is a good idea, somebody could catch on to our devious scheme. Unfortuneatly, our timing is less than adequate. Yesterday, barring Brad's edits, there were only 5 or so changes to the VFH page. This does not spell success as you can imagine. I propose we wait til these "Top 2006" articles have had their way and some of the stagnates have cleared out of VFH, AND THEN WE POUNCE. Did I scare you with my sudden yelling? I apologize. I think as long as our timing is right, we'll be ok. Also, you're going to have to break that guard's neck. This is vital to the mission, there is no way around it. --Anyone 15:22, 18 January 2007 (UTC)
Sadly, my neck breaking days are long since over. There just aren't that many German patrols in my area any more, and the other resistance fighters have all gone and become accountants. Now it's just me, this valley and my machine gun. An old woman brings me cheese.
Actually, the real problem was that I used to get really compulsively obsessed about how my articles were doing on VFH compared to others, and it got to the point where I chewed through my own foot. It was while hopping into the kitchen that I figured I'd better just let go - forget the competition - relax. So now I just have a laugh writing them and then let them float down the river of destiny. I have consequently entered a state of writer's Nirvana, which is very nice, like a big cushion. Please do have your way with GTAW after the top ten have shuffled through though - I'll be happy to see it nommed - and thanks for fixing my user page too. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 19:43, 18 January 2007 (UTC)

Yes, it's me again[edit]

You might as well keep the tea kettle on your stove because it seems I'm always here! I was actually thinking about moving in here, you know, temporarily I promise. But down to business, Operation Neck-Snap may need to be put on the back burner for the time being. PLS is coming and I've also discovered Protect and Survive, which is a great piece of art literature stuff that is typed. I want to nom that next and feel it has a very strong chance of being featured, but again the timing must be right. VFH still doesn't have it's traffic back, and failure is not an option. Here's a to-do list, you know, so I stay organized.

  1. Nom Protect and Survive.
  2. Break some necks.
  3. Maybe Grab a bite to eat. Something small though, like some chips maybe. So I can eat on the go. A lot of work to be done afterall.
  4. Nom Gas tungsten arc welding.
  5. Think of some more things to-do. (bookclub? I've always wanted to learn bridge too)

Yours Indoors, --Anyone 17:51, 25 January 2007 (UTC)

It's time![edit]

Well, the time has finally come for judging the best at PLS. Since it'd be extremely hard (and probably impossible) to fairly judge all 23 entries in your category in one sitting, it's recommended you start early and take it in stages. You were chosen as a judge because I trust your judgment when it comes to humor at Uncyclopedia, so you may use any method of choosing the winners that you deem fit. I do have space for you on the judging page to rank your top five favorite articles, in order, and give honorable mention to any other articles in your category that you deem "worthy" of being an Uncyclopedia article (which will then be unlocked after PLS is over). I'd prefer to have the entries almost fully judged by the Wednesday, the 7th of February, though the deadline isn't until the 10th. As such, be ready for me to be panicking if there's nothing done on your entry on the judging page by the 7th. Thank you again for judging, and enjoy the read (as many of the entries are quite funny this go around, in my opinion). Please contact me at my talkpage if you have any questions.--<<>> 00:43, 28 January 2007 (UTC)

Don't worry, Brad, I'll just use the tried abd trusted "bank account" method. On the 9th, I simply check my bank account, and whoever has deposited the most wins. It's simple, profitable and fast. Actually, you're right - there's some really good stuff this time around, so it will be a pleasure to judge. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 05:20, 28 January 2007 (UTC)


Congrats, Hardwick, on a well-deserved honor: Writer of the Year. You certainly deserve this award for the work you do here, quietly, sneakily, while none seems to be looking. Remember that many of us appreciate all you do for the site, even if some people question the ethics and/or legality behind it. --Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 02:21, 2 February 2007 (UTC)

Cheers Enegma. I find that writing quietly helps a lot. I used to shout everything out of an open window but the neighbors got annoyed. I'm off, now, to blow up another rogue article in the name of freedom. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 05:46, 2 February 2007 (UTC)

About the Poo Lit: Thanks[edit]

Thanks for your kind words on Mr. Beluncle, Hardwick. The article just does not have the funniness density of the two excellent articles which took #1 and #2 and it's not meant to; Beluncle attempts something a little different. One writes what the Angel (or Demon) of Inspiration brings. I certainly have no compaints about the contest. Cheers! ----OEJ 19:26, 12 February 2007 (UTC)

Ah, well, I've no complaints about PLS either - as an exercise in democracy it went swimmingly, the quality was really high, and I wouldn't have had it any other way. I'm just one voice in the herd. But I'm one of those herd people who have been hacking away at comedy since they first learned to write and I was compelled to express admiration for Beluncle as it's pretty damned outstanding. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 19:50, 12 February 2007 (UTC)

Would ye take a look see?[edit]

At 1846 Uncyclopedia Convention at Aurora New York Dame PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 13:23, 17 February 2007 (UTC)

Look what you did...[edit]

You bad, bad man.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 07:05, 27 February 2007 (UTC)

Err, oops. I was nomming Mr. Beluncle when the VFH page just stopped moving. So I panicked and threw my computer out the window. Then I went on holiday. I come back and ... ohhhhhh myyyy gawwwwwwddddd, wot 'ave I done? I shall turn myself in at the nearest library and ask to lick the carpet clean. Call it atonement or call it madness, there's a thin line - a thin line. And, sorry. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 09:01, 27 February 2007 (UTC)
/me holds chair up in front of meself in a manner that, in some cultures, would be considered defensive. be sure to thank Squiggle for noticing; I editted right after you, and thought everything was fine, but he noticed that there was a problem right away.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 16:13, 27 February 2007 (UTC)


Thanks, re UnBooks:Dracula[edit]


Many thanks for your help with Dracula. I've been contributing here for about two years, and there haven't been many time when I've had an article of mine largely rewritten and though "hey, this is much better". This is one of those times. As Gonzo said to Kermit in "Muppet Patton", I read your book you, you magnificent bastard! --Cap'n Sir Ben GUN WotM VFH VFP 14:57, 16 March 2007 (UTC)

Cheers. I did a Pee Review on it and then it just grabbed me, and I typed compulsively. I thought, while I was doing it: "Hmmm... this is a lot of added stuff..." but the thoughts just kept coming and the fingers were compelled to obey. Glad you liked it and please do revert anything that doesn't work. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 15:27, 16 March 2007 (UTC)

The Beatles: Ecological Number Ones[edit]

Hardwick you talented barstid, I am fructified -- no, no, I am mortified -- that no one did a proper Pee on TBENO. I made one and put it on the discussion page for the article. Cheers, ----OEJ 01:54, 19 March 2007 (UTC)

Wherefore art thou Hardwick?[edit]

You've been gone long enough. I have an interesting idea I'd like to discuss with you. Contact me when you read this. -- » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 04:19, 18 May 2007 (UTC)

Hi Mooses. I got taken over by this mad idea about getting published in books and magazines. It has consumed my soul to the point where I stay in a dark room all the time eating baked beans out of a tin with a spoon and gibbering to myself. I'm always open to new ideas, though. Tried to contact you by email through the site but the site didn't want me to. You can contact me here: - the bit on the right that says 'mail us' goes to me. Or you can just discuss your idea here if you want. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 04:47, 21 May 2007 (UTC)

Whenever you pop around[edit]

I read Protect and Survive again today, and it's pure pleasure. ~ 22:48, 3 August 2007 (UTC)

Yeah, really. You need to pop around more often. We're a mess without you. We've got talentless writers becoming the status quo around here! Look at me! I'm that guy!-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 22:53, 3 August 2007 (UTC)
Actually I've popped around quite a lot recently. It's good, healthy and invigorating fun and not sinful or dangerous and it doesn't make you go blind. In fact, I've got really addicted to popping around, so I've hardly had any time to visit the site at all until today. Cheers for the messages and glad to see people are still enjoying the reads. I keep getting ideas for stuff to put here, but I am busy writing a novel at the moment, which takes time, unfortunately. One day, though, one day, my name will be on everyone's shoes. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 08:40, 4 August 2007 (UTC)
I can just see the roadsigns: "Why wear Crocs where you can enjoy them Fundlebuggys?" ~ 09:18, 4 August 2007 (UTC)


You're alive! ~ 20:13, 4 March 2008 (UTC)

Yes, I seem to persistently remain in that condition, despite the whiskey and the whores. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 20:18, 4 March 2008 (UTC)
Do we know you? Didn't you used to be somebody? -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
I used to be Michael Bolton for a while, but then his lawyers asked for the wig back. Now I eat from bins at the back of falafel bars. Same old story. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 20:39, 4 March 2008 (UTC)
Yay! Hardwick's back! Hey guys! Guys! Yeah, guys, he's back! Hardwick is back! Yay! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon.gif(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 20:34, Mar 4
Like wow. -- Major Sir Zombiebaron GUNWotMUotMPotMAotMEGAEDMUPotMMAFEZotMIotMVotMUGotM (shout) 22:36, 4 March 2008 (UTC)
It's more a half-back streaky bacon kind of deal. Just dropping by to hand over a piece about guinea pigs and helium. Will kind of pop in from time to time and check the mail--Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 04:46, 6 March 2008 (UTC)
I'm the only one not cheering Hardwick's return, but only because I'm horribly jealous of him and fear he'll expose my writing deficiencies. Also, other things.--<<>> 00:31, 5 March 2008 (UTC)
Who would do that to you, Brad? Also, how'd the novel go?-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 01:25, 5 March 2008 (UTC)
It's not like he does it intentionally. People always end up making comparisons when they're side-by-side, you know. Also, how DID the novel go?--<<>> 02:18, 5 March 2008 (UTC)
The novel went interestingly. I'm doing another one soon. It was fun to write but then it always is. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 04:46, 6 March 2008 (UTC)
Only a few days ago, I was wondering where you'd got to. Just goes to show, you can never escape uncyclopedia. Never! Spang talk 09:57, 05 Mar 2008
I brought you a giant cookie on a dowel. The dowel is giant, too. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 09:58, 5 March 2008 (UTC)
Cheers for the cookie. I can't take the dowel though as I gave dowels up for New Year. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 04:46, 6 March 2008 (UTC)
Hardwick replied to me...*swoon* Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 05:20, 6 March 2008 (UTC)

OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!!! Can I PLEEEEEEEZE have your autograph??? Icons-flag-au.png Sir Cs1987 UOTM. t. c 05:39, 6 March 2008 (UTC)

You, er, you won't remember me. (Looks at feet). I joined around about the time you were stopping stuff. (Looks at elbow). But I just saw you on RC and I wanted to say (looks at spaniel out of window) Ilikeyourwork. (Looks up in awe for a second, smiles, then runs away rapidly). --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 15:31, Mar 13

Whats RC? Is that the name of the spaniel? Anyway, I deny all charges. I've been on LSD, Mazzmogs, probation and the radio, but I've not touched RC. That's just for crack heads. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 16:27, 14 March 2008 (UTC)
I resent that remark. —rc (t) 17:23, 14 March 2008 (UTC)
RC is not to be confused, of course, with RCmurphy, which is a fine, mellow, granular powder with few adverse side-effects. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 15:03, 15 March 2008 (UTC)

Welkum back. I don't know you at all, but your username is friggin' awesome. Way better than "Fardwick Hundlebuggy" or "Lardwick Dunglefuggy." --THE 15:46, 16 March 2008 (UTC)

The name was suggested to me one day by my psychiatrist, Dr. Deckchair Funderlick. It was only later that I discovered its similarity to that of Hard Mick Fondle-Boggy, the notorious Irish criminal. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 20:56, 16 March 2008 (UTC)

Ah, Mr Bundlefuggy[edit]

Long time no see! Here's something you might like to cast thine eyes upon. -- Hindleyite Converse?pedia 11:31, 2 July 2008 (UTC)

Hi there[edit]

Theres a bit of a project on to see if any of the inactive users are still about: Forum:Missing User Project. I'm a huge fan of your writings - if ever your up for a collboration or want to say hi or something, or, or :) — Sir Sycamore (talk) 07:56, 14 October 2008 (UTC)

Ditto. Loved your work. Hope you come back one day, hopefully before the apocalypse. mrthejazz I don't know if this image is the right size, but I'm trying. (please talk to me i'm lonely.) 04:41, June 19, 2010 (UTC)