User talk:HerrDoktor/Archive1

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Archived discussion, july-27-2006, jan-22-2007


Hello, HerrDoktor/Archive1, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

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I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig.png) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, or ask at the Dump. Again, welcome!  -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)


Thank you for voting for me for Writer of the Month. It's much appreciated. --Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 04:03, 1 December 2006 (UTC)


Ice-Cream.gif Braydie has awarded you some ice cream!
For voting for HowTo:Make a Band

--—Braydie 17:02, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

Your Articles[edit]

A little mini-review of each, and my thoughts:

Muhammad and Jesus pissing contest

I don't think the topic, taken literally, is a good use of the 'Jesus vs. Muhammad' dichotomy. I think it strays too much in tone, from a psuedo-serious take on the topic, to a very direct, harsh tone in the "gangster" dialogue. I think it would be better if it stayed with a consistent tone and 'slant' on the topic. Truth be told, I don't like a literal 'pissing contest'; it hurts my frail sensibilities, if you know what I mean. It's just too 'out there'. Also, just from a stylistic standpoint, try to breakup paragraphs that are more than a few lines, to make it less 'dense' and more 'readable.' Anyway, I thought it was kind of funny but probably not VFH-worthy.

Chesty Morgan

At first I thought I wouldn't like this article, but by the end I didn't think it was too bad. I laughed a few times. Again, not a huge fan of the topic, but I think you make better-than-expected use of it. Overall, not a bad article. Still probably not VFH worthy, but better.

Anyway, good work. It's nice to see people putting real work and effort into articles, considering most creations are unfunny stubs. The key is just to keep writing about topics that interest you. Good luck. --Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 00:48, 7 December 2006 (UTC)

I'm curious[edit]

I was surprised to read that you're not a native English speaker, since your English is flawless and was just wondering where abouts you're from, if you don't mind me asking...-- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il.png GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI2 AnotM VFH +S 19:13, 12 December 2006 (UTC)

Hmmm... let's say my country makes me very, very ashamed. There is a huge ammount of stereotypes regarding this place, which is just natural considering the country's historic state of glorious insignificance. It's the real situation of cultural feebleness and third-worldish jingoism that fuels my hate, which you can't even consider self-hate, as I have no sincere sympathy for what is my country's so-called "culture". In sum, it's an awfully stupid nation and deserves even more than her already bad reputation.
Hint: I use vines as means of transport. :D -- herr doktor needsAbeam Rocket.gif [scream!] 20:03, 12 December 2006 (UTC)

Hmmm...That could be India, somewhere in South America or even Madagascar?!? Another hint! -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il.png GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI2 AnotM VFH +S 18:43, 15 December 2006 (UTC)

Ha ha ha... All right. This country is the greatest exporter of elevator music in the whole world. herr doktor needsAbeam Rocket.gif [scream!] 18:45, 15 December 2006 (UTC)

I didn't know there were Lianas in France? Or maybe...where the hell is Kenny G from? -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il.png GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI2 AnotM VFH +S 14:29, 17 December 2006 (UTC)

Sorry, you didn't won my Dr. Moreau's civilized-people-living-by-the-jungle prize. Jessica will pass her Christmas without an owner... :D -- herr doktor needsAbeam Rocket.gif [scream!] 20:53, 17 December 2006 (UTC)

I'm thinking Brazil! -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il.png GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI2 AnotM VFH +S 07:16, 20 December 2006 (UTC)


Sweetsprize.gif Braydie has awarded you some sweets!
For voting for HowTo:Cheat At Scrabble

Thanks for supporting one of my articles again--—Braydie 16:59, 13 December 2006 (UTC)

Oh and the Christmas tale, shall I just add to it? --—Braydie 15:43, 14 December 2006 (UTC)

Sure thing, sir! ---- herr doktor needsAbeam Rocket.gif [scream!] 15:45, 14 December 2006 (UTC)

Ok cool, I reckon this will be quite good, if we get it right. --—Braydie 15:45, 14 December 2006 (UTC)
Shall we get Squiggle and Enegma to finish off the chapter 3 when they come in? --—Braydie 17:31, 15 December 2006 (UTC)
Of course. The Fourth Chapter I wrote doesn't need necessarily to be in that position. It's kind of an interlude. But we shall talk about the other Spirits of Christmases, I guess. -- herr doktor needsAbeam Rocket.gif [scream!] 17:34, 15 December 2006 (UTC)
Sounds great. :D --—Braydie 17:38, 15 December 2006 (UTC)
Oh and if you don't mind, could you read over Separation Issues, it's a rewrite, could you tell me what you think, please? :) --—Braydie 18:05, 15 December 2006 (UTC)


Santa cross money.png Premier Tom Mayfair does not share in your pagan ways.
Nor does he celebrate capitalist retail. He hopes that you
convert to Communism before it's too late. Do the right thing.
Пролетарии всех стран, соединяйтесь!
Hammer and sickle xmas.png|

Premier Tom Mayfair 22:29, 14 December 2006 (UTC)

Roast potato.jpg Braydie was throwing away last year's Christmas cards, and
realised they had purposefully forgotten about you.
This user doesn't care about Multi-culturalism,
and DEMANDS you have a Merry Christmas... NOW!

I'll talk about the article later, at the moment I'm away from home. I've read it though and thanks for the review, I'll definitely take in what you have to say about it, thanks! Oh and merry christmas :D --—Braydie 20:59, 15 December 2006 (UTC)

Roast potato.jpg flyingfeline was throwing away last year's Christmas cards, and
realised they had purposefully forgotten about you.
This user doesn't care about Multi-culturalism,
and DEMANDS you have a Merry Christmas... NOW!

Looks like we all got them from Tesco... Fanks mucho for yours, by the way, and sorry I couldn't help much on IRC. Merry cheesemas and a hippy New Year. :) -- 21:37, 15 December 2006 (UTC)

Hannukah.jpg Mordillo is a bloody Jew and therefore believes that Xmas is plain silly, Jesus was a nice Jewish boy with some weird ideas, Santa is an old drunk and socks are meant to be put on your cold smelly feet.

However, since it's not your fault for being born to the wrong nation, you might as well enjoy a very HAPPY HANUKKAH and rejoice, for once again the Greeks had one coming.
Only 4.5 months left till Passover, start looking for Christian kids for the preparation of the Matzo Bread!

Regarding Ibrahim Rugova[edit]

Sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about concerning this article. Could you explain it the way you would for say, a toddler, or find an admin who's smarter (shouldn't be hard) and wittier (well, that's a difficult one) than I. rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 00:45, 17 December 2006 (UTC)

user page vandal[edit]

Karatechimp.jpg zim_ulator wishes you a Merry Kaizum Me!
the first holiday officially sanctioned by the church of zimizm (cOz)!

I blocked anonymous user for a week for fucking with your user page. Hope that does the trick for you. rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 20:24, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

Template: Too Big[edit]

Hey, I was wondering does this template exist anymore? --—Braydie 16:02, 21 December 2006 (UTC)

I gave up and asked an admin to delete it, as nobody used it. They moved it to User:NeedABrain/Too Big -- herr doktor needsAbeam Rocket.gif [scream!] 17:34, 21 December 2006 (UTC)

Ahh, thanks, I'm going to move something to the talk page (pee review discussion) --—Braydie 17:36, 21 December 2006 (UTC)

Merry Christmas![edit]

Puddin.jpg Hindleyite wishes you a
Enjoy this Christmas pud, but watch out for the five pence
coins that fell out of my pocket into the cake mix.

And a Happy Commercial Conformity Period. -- Hindleyite Converse?pedia 19:45, 21 December 2006 (UTC)


Ok, I've did a little bit more with the writing in between according to Squiggle's review in PEE. Bascially these things are going to be in the room, like the truck driving past the window, then the guy getting up to shut it. If you don't like it just revert me. --—Braydie 19:12, 25 December 2006 (UTC)

That's fine, I was just thinking about asking someone at RADX corner to create pics with weird fonts for the 'poeias. Dunno, I've rewriten this in 15 minutes, but I'm starting to feel some potential. -- herr doktor needsAbeam Rocket.gif [scream!] 19:15, 25 December 2006 (UTC)

Yeah I think it has some. So what's the next step, do you need me to do anything (it's been a slow day today) --—Braydie 19:22, 25 December 2006 (UTC)

.........What about a comic book layout? --—Braydie 19:24, 25 December 2006 (UTC)
Hmmm... try it, I just can't imagine how can we do that with simple HTML. I've asked at RADX for the balloons. -- herr doktor needsAbeam Rocket.gif [scream!] 19:25, 25 December 2006 (UTC)
Cool. --—Braydie 19:28, 25 December 2006 (UTC)


You need to change the bit where it says "Braydie" to NeedABrain. Otherwise when you click on "my talk" at the top, it will come up with my talk.. not yours. --—Braydie 13:42, 26 December 2006 (UTC)

I guess it still not working fine for me. I got a "discussion" tab at the bottom of my browser (IE) but it doesn't do anything. -- herr doktor needsAbeam Rocket.gif [scream!] 14:30, 26 December 2006 (UTC)

Oh. You don't get the edit tabs? --—Braydie 14:35, 26 December 2006 (UTC)

Where they should appear and when? -- herr doktor needsAbeam Rocket.gif [scream!] 14:35, 26 December 2006 (UTC)

At the top next to history move and watch when you edit an article. They are handy. Also there should be some tabs at the top of the page when viewing. --—Braydie 14:38, 26 December 2006 (UTC)

Hell, no! But my browser is pointing to an error at line 31 at every page I enter. -- herr doktor needsAbeam Rocket.gif [scream!] 14:42, 26 December 2006 (UTC)

Hmm, have you got Javascript enabled.. also did you hard refresh the page? (Just checking) --—Braydie 14:44, 26 December 2006 (UTC)

Check; check. -- herr doktor needsAbeam Rocket.gif [scream!] 14:47, 26 December 2006 (UTC)

What version of IE are you running? --—Braydie 14:52, 26 December 2006 (UTC)

Hmmm... 6 sp 2. -- herr doktor needsAbeam Rocket.gif [scream!] 14:54, 26 December 2006 (UTC)

Try updating it. I think the newest one is 7. --—Braydie 15:02, 26 December 2006 (UTC)

Don't think I can... It's my job computer and I don't have admin rights in it. Whatever, let's keep it as it has always been. -- herr doktor needsAbeam Rocket.gif [scream!] 15:05, 26 December 2006 (UTC)

Ahh ok. :( --—Braydie 15:05, 26 December 2006 (UTC)


Thanks for your vote. Rather than giving you a template of thanks, in honour of the occassion I wrote UnUnNews: Lindsay Lohan says "Gonch is for chumps" (snappy title, eh?). Don't worry, it makes more sense after you read it. Or less, I haven't decided yet.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 05:29, 1 January 2007 (UTC)

HowTo:Convince People You're a Heterosexual Male[edit]

Thanks for your vote!

has awarded you the
Neat Order of the Closet
for voting
HowTo:Convince People You're a Heterosexual Male
Wear It With Pride!

You big homo.

Now, Turn Left![edit]

Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il.png GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI2 AnotM VFH +S 07:47, 8 January 2007 (UTC)

Genious: Onomato-something[edit]

Props up for the ono-whatever article. I tried to fix it but it sucked ass tenfold; but then god came and blessed this article with genious. User:Guruji


Congrats! and yes, you are a sir now ;) —Braydie at 22:31, 14 January 2007 (UTC)

I'm so happy... Do you know tomorrow is my birthday? -- herr doktor needsAbeam Rocket.gif [scream!] 22:32, 14 January 2007 (UTC)
I do now, happy birthday for tomorrow. —Braydie at 22:36, 14 January 2007 (UTC)
Thanks! Tomorrow or the day after I'm gonna make a template to thank you and the other voters. But you deserve more, as you have about half the merit in this article. -- herr doktor needsAbeam Rocket.gif [scream!] 22:47, 14 January 2007 (UTC)
Thanks, it was my pleasure. —Braydie at 22:48, 14 January 2007 (UTC)

(Touches the point of the sword in your shoulder) In the name of God, St Michael and St George, I give you the right to bear arms and the power to meet justice! Way to go! - --FoxyBabe 14:21, 16 January 2007 (UTC)


While I will not comment on your use of a Welcoming template that is other then the normal {{Welcome}}, I will comment on you method. When you welcome a new user, please make sure that you "subst:" any templates onto their talk page. To accomplish this, use {{subst:User:NeedABrain/Welcome|{{PAGENAME}}}}, it should work, and you need not bother subst'ing the {{PAGENAME}}, as it is not a template. --Major Sir Zombiebaron GUNWotMUotMPotMAotMEGAEDMUPotMMAFEZotMIotMVotMUGotM (shout) 00:45, 18 January 2007 (UTC)

(From Zombiebaron's talk page)
Well, I'm new in this job. I've created a template for the welcome, but you have replaced it with the normal code. Is there a problem in the way I used it? Is my custom message okay? -- herr doktor needsAbeam Rocket.gif [scream!] 00:46, 18 January 2007 (UTC)

I acctaully did not replace it with any "normal code". I acctually just placed all of your code on the page (refrence: We are discussing some page that I subst:'d his Welcome template onto). There is nothing wrong with your code per se. Also, I do have your talk page on my watchlist, so please carry on any further discussion there. --Major Sir Zombiebaron GUNWotMUotMPotMAotMEGAEDMUPotMMAFEZotMIotMVotMUGotM (shout) 00:50, 18 January 2007 (UTC)
Well, I will nest the normal welcome inside my custom welcome. This way it will reflect any changes to the original. -- herr doktor needsAbeam Rocket.gif [scream!] 00:53, 18 January 2007 (UTC)
That's fine. The major thing is that you subst: the template, no matter what you do, do that. --Major Sir Zombiebaron GUNWotMUotMPotMAotMEGAEDMUPotMMAFEZotMIotMVotMUGotM (shout) 01:10, 18 January 2007 (UTC)
Hmmm... think I still didn't get it well. I'm now using my template with nested welcome as the following:


How should I use it? -- herr doktor needsAbeam Rocket.gif [scream!] 01:14, 18 January 2007 (UTC)
Like so:


It will look like a bunch of code, but is better. And since I just covered your edit, the answer is yes (but better formatted) :) --Major Sir Zombiebaron GUNWotMUotMPotMAotMEGAEDMUPotMMAFEZotMIotMVotMUGotM (shout) 01:19, 18 January 2007 (UTC)

New here - tell me what you think.[edit]

This is the first time I've posted on uncyclopedia (or even typed anything resembling "code" at all), and I'm still learning. The new entry I wrote is what the fuck?, linked to the fuck page. Could you tell me what you think? Thanks, and I hope I sign my name right. Captain Carcass 01:38, 21 January 2007 (UTC)

I too was worried about it being excessively random, so I dropped the Inuits, but I kinda need "Mesopotamia" because it's referenced later. I also added some history and am currently working on adding more. I can't decide whether to lose Oscar Wilde or not, becuase it's a fairly minor reference. On the other hand, "No more Oscar Wilde" is probably a good policy. Thanks again for your input, and please don't withhold any criticism you may have. I want to know what sucks. Captain Carcass 00:09, 22 January 2007 (UTC)
Gotcha. Do you know where I can find images that're OK to use? Captain Carcass 03:27, 22 January 2007 (UTC)
He he he... that's the funny part. Don't tell the RIAA but we usually just steal them from over the Internet and upload here - but making clear that they were stolen. Of course it is better for you finding non-copyrighted images or editing over copyrighted work so they gain a parody value and we cannot be sued. You may also look for other articles and reuse their images. Just one more little question: why do you have two versions of the same article? -- herr doktor needsAbeam Rocket.gif [scream!] 03:35, 22 January 2007 (UTC)
Are you talking about WTF? I didn't find that one until after mine was almost done, and besides, I take a completely different approach to the topic. Is this not okay? Captain Carcass 03:56, 22 January 2007 (UTC)
No, just that you have a page on What the fuck in you user space and other at the main space. -- herr doktor needsAbeam Rocket.gif [scream!] 04:02, 22 January 2007 (UTC)

I demand an answer[edit]

For two questions: 1. WHERE ARE YOU FROM?!?! (you didn't think I'd forget eh?) 2. Can you tell me where you got the nifty brain gif? I can't find a nice one for my own sig :(.

Oh, and congrats on the VFH! Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il.png GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI2 AnotM VFH +S 17:28, 21 January 2007 (UTC)

See your mail box. ;) -- herr doktor needsAbeam Rocket.gif [scream!] 18:16, 21 January 2007 (UTC)
Aw, about the brain, I just found it by looking at google for "brain", small size pic. Dunno, I'm good at this, maybe you can tell me what are you looking for and I can find it for you. -- herr doktor needsAbeam Rocket.gif [scream!] 18:18, 21 January 2007 (UTC)

Good catch![edit]

Good category catch on Sea Monkeys. Do you like yours fried or broiled? Dame PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 21:07, 21 January 2007 (UTC)

Hehehe... By the way, in case you are not an ortodox Christian, did you see Pet Jesus? -- herr doktor needsAbeam Rocket.gif [scream!] 21:11, 21 January 2007 (UTC)
I like it - like it a lot. SOmeone told me that they made a kids video with the Sea Monkeys in it. Don't that beat all? Hugs, Dame PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 21:24, 21 January 2007 (UTC)