User talk:Matfen

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Hold on, this isn't Christian Bale!?

Rape for you sir[edit]

There is a man outside sir, he asked that I pass that on for him. --ChiefjusticeDS 21:17, March 6, 2010 (UTC)

Oucheee! --Matfen 21:20, March 6, 2010 (UTC)


Loving the new pic. --Hugs and kisses, Black_Flamingo 23:24, March 6, 2010 (UTC)

I'm not >( --Matfen 19:35, March 7, 2010 (UTC)

You have been saved from Matfenistic destruction[edit]

The Godly People at Imperial Colonization thank you for voting for Creationism (rightly featured 8 March 2010), and thus supporting America as The Rightful World Power. May God George God and George bless you!

On behalf of IC, I thank you for voting your conscience. Rabbi Why do I need to provide this?, humble goylem rabbi of the Temple of Narishkayt and rector of The University of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  21:00, March 8, 2010 (UTC)

Ya, thanks for da vote to get my boys over on da front page ya guys control. Ain't a bad joint over dere, gotta tell ya. Did I see ya in church dis week? Didn't think so. Anysways, ya vote appreciated, an' now I'm outta here. Fadda Murphy and his vexed secretary, Al de'chain


Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN.png Icons-flag-us.png NOTM 19:05, March 15, 2010 (UTC)


Christian Bale at VFG[edit]

Christian just needs one more vote at Vote for Good, so propel your mouse over there and put it over the top (and by the way, since you're traveling there anyway, pause a moment at "Sideboob" and "Poop throwing monkeys" for a treat and a sandwich). Bale climbs another rung. Aleister in Change 00:32 28 3 mmx


SAFPAS.png For your vote in VFS

and as promised last time
You have been awarded a Certificate guaranteeing you safe passage whilst inside those areas of Uncyclopedia under Zionist domination.
Certificate also redeemable for one (1) free bagel at your nearest grocery - simply print out and present
to the shopkeeper to claim your free bagel with the filling of your choice.

Rabbi Techno

Upsilon Sigma Sigma[edit]

The Sacred and Holy crest of ΥΣΣ This user is a Brother of the Upsilon Sigma Sigma Fraternity. Humor, Honor, Hubris. Per Iocus Prudentia!
Upsilon Sigma Sigma

Just wanted to let you know you were accepted without hesitation. Just add yourself to the lists and welcome aboard! notable things to check out are the Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles list and our current collaboration piece for April, Tim Burton. -- Sir SF13 (Talk) Upsilon Sigma Sigma's last completed collaboration GUN WotM RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ 03:02 EST 4 April, 2010

How To:Get Married[edit]

Cheers. I'll look at the last two paragraphs. All the images were from Google, mind.

As for Anaconda, I wanted to finish off with the hick teaming up with a lady boy and the fact that one of the bigger towns in western Montana turned out to be called Anaconda seemed too good to miss for a trouser-snake mention. It was named after the Anaconda mining company, apparently. I suspect no one outside Montana (and me) actually knows that, however.

Haven't written anything except this for a few weeks. I'd love to say I'd been inspired by St David's Day celebrations to spend more time indulging cultural pursuits at Eisteddfodau, but actually I've been watching crap TV. Glad the southern accent thing seems to work though. --Sog1970 10:24, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

De La Salle[edit]

I think it came up when I did a fuzzy search for simple - or maybe I was just trying to go in a completely different direction. I can't even remember now. It's on VFH, and thanks. It was considered in-depth after some debate on UU's talk page. PuppyOnTheRadio sig.gif                                                  Wednesday, 09:00, Apr 7 2010 UTC


Thanks Matfen. I tried to follow your suggestions, but I couldn't really decide whom to include in the crime section. Any specific celebrities you have in mind? And I'll go and add a section on the military later (I need to sleep right now.). Also, I want to include what George Clooney said about Heston but I'm having trouble with phrasing it. Got a suggestion? Thanks by the way. Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 05:20, April 13, 2010 (UTC)

Hi Dex, sorry for the latent reply. I did have some suggestions, but its been a few days since I came up with them, so they are partially forgotten. I'll need to go over the original conservapedia article again to help remember, and then I'll post my suggestions on your article's talk page. Again, sorry for the late reply, and sorry if I sound like a drug addict who can't remember what day it is without a timestamp next to the sig. --Matfen 16:52, April 16, 2010 (UTC)
Don't apoligise if you haven't done anything wrong! I should be on all fours because of your review! Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 00:01, April 17, 2010 (UTC)

I'm liking the additions you made. I rarely like when people add to my articles. Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 22:31, April 22, 2010 (UTC)

Me aims to please/vandalise in a borderline acceptible manner. Do you want me to give the military section a go sometime, or perhaps post my ideas on the talk page? If you can't be bothered with it, that's understandable, as when I looked at the real conservapedia page, it only mentioned it in the intro, and didn't have an actual section for it. --Matfen 23:12, April 22, 2010 (UTC)

Pee needed[edit]

Hi Matfen, now I normally wouldn't bother somebody with this but can you do this review as your next one please. I have asked you as one of our more active reviewers at the moment, the main reason I'm asking is that the article currently languishes in a VFH limbo as nobody has looked at it for a week and the author would like to nominate it. I'll ask a couple of other people too, but if you can help I would appreciate it. Cheers. --ChiefjusticeDS 20:03, April 13, 2010 (UTC)

Certainly, sir. It could take me till tomorrow night though, due to its corpulent size and the odd real-life responsibility holding me back. But I'll get on it. --Matfen 20:07, April 13, 2010 (UTC)
Massively appreciate it, I would do it myself but I have real-life to attend to over the next couple of days too. --ChiefjusticeDS 20:10, April 13, 2010 (UTC)


Man, you are a writing machine! Nice work. Whew! Al enchains 22:50 15 4 mmx

More of the same. Very good use of the King's English. Have you read our last collab lately, Nintendo? I've done some tightening of the language and addressed some of the concerns people have had on VFH, and think it may be in shape for a feature now. Please have a look at it if you have a minute or 10, and maybe see if you can find obvious flaws and then caulk them up. At this moment it has 11 pts on VFH, almost there. Kudos on Tim Burton, you did the heavy lifting on this one. Al sans chains 14:48 17 4 mmx
Thanx for your support Al. I'm just trying to make sure it's done before pee-review deadline, but I run out of energy pretty easily when working on an article for so long. I might give Nintendo an edit when I have a minute or two spare, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to add much. I like it, but I'm not too sure about featuring. It's out of brotherhood loyalty that I've not even voted an abstain on it. That and the fact that one of our noble brothers stole the quote off my Xbox article and put it there! GRRRRR! --Matfen 17:28, April 17, 2010 (UTC)

Bruce Wayne in space and space and space and space and....[edit]

I see what's happening--what you saw on your screen was very different from what I saw on mine. It's a browser issue. See my explanation here. Rabbi Why do I need to provide this?, humble goylem rabbi of the Temple of Narishkayt and rector of The University of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  05:08, April 18, 2010 (UTC)


You can have it! —Pelozurian (talk) 22:46, 19 April 2010 (UTC)

YES! You've gotten soft since your namechange, Paizuri. --Matfen 20:39, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
Oh, did you want a revert war? I'm not afraid to get my fingers dirty! Just lemme....take out the ol' hand sanitizer... .... ..... All right! Let's go!!! —Pelozurian (talk) 22:55, 20 April 2010 (UTC)

Timmy and Danny[edit]

Hi. Skin wanted us to chime in on the 23rd to see if we should do a final edit and send the page to review or if we should keep writing for a bit. What's your feeling, are you happy with where the page has gone? Your work has shaped it, and I personally have tried to keep out of your way and let you work your magic. And what about the tone and concept, is the page, in your opinion, smooth from section to section? I may do an edit sweep tomorrow, just to add some funny or some touches, but don't hesitate to change anything I put in there or take out. Just options. What I did with Nintendo was edit sweep when it was on VFH, and that seemed to work, so we all have several stages to change it in the short term future: Now. Just before we put it on review. Up to the point someone takes it for review. Then, after review. Then just before it goes on VFH. Then once it's on VFH and we get community feedback. And that's it. How do you like the ending I put on the page? Did you have something else in mind? Thanks again, Al des chain 1:25 22 4

True, I was worrying about when the pee-review date was. I'd recommend you to do a last-minute edit-sweep before posting it on pee tomorrow. I've got a bit of nonsense going on today, but I'll make sure the article is finished by tomorrow. It might be tonight when I'm doing it, though. And I like the ending, just need to give the rest of his personal life a bit of expansion. --Matfen 09:11, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
Nice work. I'll give it a look over and then sometime tomorrow line it up on pee review. And then the process starts all over again. Doesn't look like we'll do Roger Ebert next month, as Black Flamingo has worked up a good page on his user space. I'll alert the frat noteboard. Al sans chains 20:52 22 4
I think I'm finished with it, finally. We can do the vote thingy safely now. And yeah, we can probs nix Roger Ebert. Wasn't looking forward to it as much, tbh. Probably be even harder than this month's. --Matfen 23:12, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
Will look at the page soon, but have noticed your edits on recent changes. I've kept away on purpose to let you play your solo. As for Ebert, I like what Black Flamingo is doing, the approach he's taken seems unique and if he keeps it going it could be one that Ebert himself should take notice of. Al des chain 23:20 22 4 mmx
Defo. There's no way I'm going to stop him from writing that. It'd be a crime against comedy. --Matfen 23:22, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
Yes, and I hope he continues and expands on what he has now, which isn't quite enough but almost there. Well, on the collab, I won't do it myself, and will let you do the honors if you can, but the Batman section should, imnho, be cut off soon after Burton's movie. The rest is way off topic. I know you have bonds to the series, and may find it hard, and if you want to pass the knife to me I'll take the section out back and gut it. Al des chain 00:44 23 4

I see you were 2nd place during the last CW.[edit]

You were suppose to be awarded but weren't. Now, do you this? Cause you were suppose to get it. Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 07:15, April 24, 2010 (UTC)

I didn't think you got anything for second place. I was nowhere near POTR's 8 rewrites. But now I looked back at past conservation week results, I realised they always have. Kwlness! Thanks for telling me, Dex. --Matfen 11:22, April 24, 2010 (UTC)

Mt. Rushmore[edit]

You're one of our go-to guys on films. I've been editing Marilyn Monroe and adding pics. Came across the bottom one just now, and stuck it in, but need help in identifying the other three on Mt. Rushmore. My guesses are Jean Harlow, Lana Turner, and Carole Lombard. Concur? Thanks. Al des chain 3:09 26 4

p.s. Could you mainspace Tim Burton for us? I don't know how to do it without messing up Skinfan's collab pages. I don't think anyone's taken it for review as yet, we'll probably have to ask someone. Thanks again.
Hi Al. I mainspaced it by copying and pasting like the frat did with nintendo, rather than moving it entirely. As for the Marilyn Monroe picture, I have to confess I don't have a clue. I'm a fake film-buff, who's only seen really geeky or obscure films, rather than all the old classics. You might try asking Guildy, I think he actually does film studies or something. If he doesn't know, I could ask my grandmother some time. She'd know. Nice article, btw. --Matfen 20:39, April 26, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for your support[edit]

ArkhamBatman.jpg Arkham Asylum thanks you for your generous support. Because of donations from dedicated Gotham City citizens like you, we can afford to keep
Bruce Wayne
safe from himself for another six months.
He was also chosen as our
Featured inmate patient
for April 24, 2010!

PuppyOnTheRadio sig.gif                                                  Wednesday, 09:50, Apr 28 2010 UTC

Pee review in[edit]

For Tim. See discussion started at bottom of Tim's talk page. A constructive review, it could send us to the showers and bring in a relief pitcher. Al des chain 21:34 29 4 mmx


I suddenly remembered that I never thanked you for nominating curry. I'd do it now but I kind of feel the moment's passed. --Hugs and kisses, Black_Flamingo 07:56, May 1, 2010 (UTC)

No problem, bro. --Matfen 10:54, May 2, 2010 (UTC)

Will Smith[edit]

After looking at my watchlist, I realize you've done a lot of work on that page of mine keeping all the IP vandals at bay. Thanks dude. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 17:05, May 1, 2010 (UTC)

I'd do anything for a handsome black man (Will Smith, not you). --Matfen 10:54, May 2, 2010 (UTC)

USS April Collab[edit]

Thanks for all the hard work last month! -- Sir SF13 (Talk) Upsilon Sigma Sigma's last completed collaboration GUN WotM RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ 22:05 EST 1 May, 2010

You did great work on Tim Burton. Tim himself should be leaving a "great work" note on your page (I wonder if these guys ever read their pages here. I have a mystery about google, see the talk page at my work in progress, James Bevel). The frat bro of the month for May should be in the Matfen column! Al sans chains 11:00 2 5 mmx

To arms![edit]

Good day loyal Peeing member, the management was wondering if you had noticed the state of the toilet recently, if not, why not? This is a call to you, as one of our better active reviewers, for a couple of reviews from you over the next few days. The queue is in the worst state it has been in for a little while and I would really appreciate you taking the time to do a couple of reviews. If you are able to help out then please review the older requests first.

What else do you need to hear? Get pissing! --ChiefjusticeDS 15:13, May 2, 2010 (UTC)

I've got a bit of nonsense on this next week, but on Saturday I'll whack out 2 or 3 good reviews. --Matfen 17:29, May 3, 2010 (UTC)



StrikerGoreaward.jpg Striker2117 and
Al Gore
thank you for your vote!

Without you, their theorem
could not have been featured.

And special thanks for the review and the tidying up you did on the article.--Sirrah CatshirE Chess the Striker2117 00:13, May 4, 2010 (UTC)

Anything for Al Gore's genies. --Matfen 11:33, May 4, 2010 (UTC)


Sorry about what I wrote, I will stick to funny from now on. It just seemed like you were picking a fight, assuming that you wrote it.


Fight fight!![edit]

Hey, it looks go0ood for Christian Bale! It's going to make it this time! Yay! Al sans chains 19:58 13 5 MMX

Thanks Brotha! I think it'll still be a few days to go yet, and there's still the chance of all the infidels from last time returning and voting against. We must pray to Bale, and hope that he carries on systematically eliminating anyone who might vote against. --Matfen 20:34, May 13, 2010 (UTC)
FEATURED! Congrats! Al des chains 21:22 14 5 MMX


So the audio works, but grammar and transition need a little tweak. And this was never intended to go beyond a single joke, so that's okay. PuppyOnTheRadio sig.gif                                                  Wednesday, 23:16, May 19 2010 UTC

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I liked how you handled the audio. No problem there. --Matfen 10:47, May 20, 2010 (UTC)

Your vote[edit]

When I received your vote for Sandstorm I thought the world would never stop spinning. Then I realized that I was actually in a sandstorm, had to get the damn stuff out of my eyes, ears and nose pronto, and dove behind a tree trunk to wait it out. And your vote, appreciated. Doves fly. Al des chains 16:39 21 5 MMX

Voidism feature[edit]

The Void is thankful. And 'thankful void' is the best kind. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png 07:01, May 27

Infinite thanks from the void.


Pee Reviewer of the Month Reviewer of the Month May 2010

Now it's my month!--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN Candidate NOTM USS Pees Stain ) On Tuesday, 12:47, June 01 2010 UTC

I so wish Nachlader had been born on the third.[edit]

It would just have been so epic. Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 20:20, June 1, 2010 (UTC)

Happy Birthday soon[edit]

HB! On writer of the month, if you don't make it this month, next for sure, or the one after that for sure. I will do my best to whore for you, for sure, in that month whichever one it is, for sure. Seriously, you deserve it and the Keys to the Kingdom will be yours soon, soon, maybe this, maybe that, either way patience makes the wait the better. Al sans chains 23:40 1 6 MMX

Happy birthday[edit]

Yay! You're 19! You having a party? Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 00:57, June 3, 2010 (UTC)

I keep hearing it's your birthday...[edit]

So congratulations on having circled the sun 19 times. --Black Flamingo 23:02, June 5, 2010 (UTC)

Whoring for a reading[edit]

After laying dormant for almost two weeks HowTo:Reinvent the wheel picked up two surprising late votes. One of my best pages, imnho, but I was about to pull the plug and ask Mordillo to remove it, so this new intake of oxygen and emergency quality drugs forces me to come knocking at your door for a reading. I will wait in the anteroom for a verdict. Then I will go out for lunch, but come back and wait in your anteroom, biting my nails and drinking your gin. Aleister 11:20 11 6 MMX

Circling the sun! Wheeeeeeeeeeee!

Sir?!? Excuse me sir???[edit]

7079-main.jpg Are you enjoying the flight? Can I get you anything? Fluff your pillow? Cook your taco? Adjust your seating, airflow, overhead light or oxygen? Ok then, I salute you!  Happytimes are here!* (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  12 Jun 2010 ~ 05:08 (UTC)



Okay, I didn't go with the fade-out - although I am half decided that I may change that. I've smoothed out that transition though and cleaned up the end. And yeah - it's a one-note lol, until you see what I'm parodying and how that poignant look has been twisted to have a completely different feel. I couldn't go past that video without doing something to it.

Feature quality? Your thoughts.

PS: Amanda Palmer was done that way as part of a joke written by a n00b that he abandoned his end of the bargain - I'm now thinking it should become Laura Palmer due to your work on Kyle Maclaughlin. Just thought you should know.

PuppyOnTheRadio sig.gif                                                  Sunday, 12:57, Jun 13 2010 UTC

Yeah, the twinkle in one another's eyes is quite touching lol. I think the blur transition does a pretty good job. I'd vote for.
Also, agree you should have Amanda Palmer take Laura Palmer's place. Perhaps out of minimal respect for the bargain-abandoning n00b, the current article should be moved to Laura Palmer (Dresden Dolls singer)? Somehow I get the feeling it would survive VFD, despite having such quality lines as "The Dresden Dolls split up in 2007 citing Windows wallpaper differences" and "Laura spent her early years playing Octopush". Or who could forget "Following a brief and unsuccessful career as a giant robot threatening to destroy Tokyo"? --Matfen 20:21, June 14, 2010 (UTC)