User talk:Mordillo

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The cake is a lie!

Welcome to my talk page. Now shut the fuck up and go write an article (or leave a new message at the bottom )




So basically[edit]

I've found a solution we can all agree upon. Am I right or what? Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 14:17, June 1, 2010 (UTC)

I conform to two out of the three reasons you mention there. I'll let you guess which ones. ~http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/f/f6/Jewriken.GIF 14:23, June 1, 2010 (UTC)

QFA[edit]

Wouldn't I Was Almost The President: An Autobiography By John McCain count as a QFA, because it got a score of 5 when the featured article got a 10?--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN Candidate NOTM USS Pees Stain ) On Tuesday, 07:31, June 01 2010 UTC

The featured article was 12 (Gay whales @ Darfur). ~http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/f/f6/Jewriken.GIF 19:50, June 1, 2010 (UTC)
Oh, I thought it was the current featured one. Carry on then. Oh, and hanks for following my orders. Are you my slave now?--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN Candidate NOTM USS Pees Stain ) On Tuesday, 08:15, June 01 2010 UTC
If by "slave" you mean "the man who will stick pointy sticks where the sun doesn't shine" then, yes. ~http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/f/f6/Jewriken.GIF 20:51, June 1, 2010 (UTC)
Pointy sticks? I think I'll take you up on that one.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN Candidate NOTM USS Pees Stain ) On Tuesday, 09:50, June 01 2010 UTC
I think the only plausible response to that would be "dicks lol". ~http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/f/f6/Jewriken.GIF 22:13, June 1, 2010 (UTC)

Justin Bieber[edit]

User:Loquacious T made an article about him called Justine Bieber. But since you protected the original title, could you redirect Justin Bieber to the former? —Pelozurian (talk) 22:06, 1 June 2010 (UTC)

Done. ~http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/f/f6/Jewriken.GIF 22:13, June 1, 2010 (UTC)
Oh. Actually, I meant redirect "Justin Bieber" to "Justine Bieber" since the joke in the article is that he's a girl. —Pelozurian (talk) 22:15, 1 June 2010 (UTC)
Ah. ~http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/f/f6/Jewriken.GIF 22:25, June 1, 2010 (UTC)
Thanks! —Pelozurian (talk) 23:45, 1 June 2010 (UTC)
There's a complication. There's currently an article on PLS about Justin Bieber which is here. Rabbi Why do I need to provide this?, humble goylem rabbi of the Temple of Narishkayt and rector of The University of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  20:13, June 2, 2010 (UTC)
When the PLS is over we can move both into slightly different names and create a disambig page. ~http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/f/f6/Jewriken.GIF 21:10, June 2, 2010 (UTC)
Ah, you think you have all the answers. Admittedly, in this case you do, but that doesn't mean you have them all! Rabbi Why do I need to provide this?, humble goylem rabbi of the Temple of Narishkayt and rector of The University of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  00:06, June 3, 2010 (UTC)

UnNews:Porn actor allegedly kills 1, hurts 2 with steel dildo[edit]

Master! Hail to thee! I have a stupid problem. I tried to save a UnNews story named UnNews:Porn actor allegedly kills 1, hurts 2 with steel dildo and it would not let me save - it (spam filter, adult content deal). So I changed the name to UnNews:Fluffer allegedly kills 1, hurts 2 with steel toy and it saved. I thought I did right. Then I noticed it had the old name that had got rejected!? So I checked history and no one did anything. So I checked the new name, and now there are two article – same – with different names. I prefer the name I thought was rejected: UnNews:Porn actor allegedly kills 1, hurts 2 with steel dildo but the other one needs to be deleted, or vise versa. Thanks a million. Much appreciated. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/7/7a/Agnideva-small.jpg http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/0/02/AGT-logo-small.jpg 19:33, Jun 2

Done. The spam filter typically kicks in not because of an article name but because of a link you've placed in the article. ~http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/f/f6/Jewriken.GIF 21:11, June 2, 2010 (UTC)

Important stuff[edit]

I did this thing and you broke it, blah blah blah, should you have done that thing you did? Haven't I done enough to placate you today? You aren't the king of Uncyclopedia, blah blah, feature queue, blah blah, why haven't you closed the awards yet? YOU HUFFED MY ARTICLE! Mordilloz sux cocks. I was actually making that vandals one liner into a much more protracted and dull one liner, blah blah blah. FIX IT!

This is your talk page in summary. You're very welcome. --ChiefjusticeDS 21:19, June 2, 2010 (UTC)

I shall tattoo this on my sons bottom. As soon as he stops pooping that is. ~http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/f/f6/Jewriken.GIF 21:26, June 2, 2010 (UTC)
I hate to be the one to tell you this, but as to your son stopping pooping? It will never happen. Rabbi Why do I need to provide this?, humble goylem rabbi of the Temple of Narishkayt and rector of The University of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  21:28, June 2, 2010 (UTC)
Don't forget "HELPME makes useless posts here because he is bored and you are by far the best and most interesting person in history"--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN Candidate NOTM USS Pees Stain ) On Wednesday, 09:32, June 02 2010 UTC

yeah, i guess,[edit]

someone did it to me years ago and i thought it was humorous. i guess humor changes. boy am i hungry. --Snafu 03:00, June 3, 2010 (UTC)

A turn up for the books[edit]

So I went into my nearest supermarket where they don't have a kosher section due to there being very few Jewish people round here and where they don't stock much Israeli stuff because they're crap yesterday and discovered they'd received a delivery of kosher stuff intended for another one of their stores by mistake and were flogging it off cheap.

I now have four enormous bags of Osem sesame pretzels, one plastic bottle full of those delicious fish-shaped croutons, three bags of Israeli couscous and 3kg matzah meal - all for under £4. Excellent! :-D Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 12:48, June 3, 2010 (UTC)

It's 1.30am and I've been drinking scotch, but someone just told me this fantastic joke[edit]

Moishe Cohen has been visiting his family in Israel. On his way back to Golders Green, he lands at Heathrow in desperate need of the lavatory.

As he stands relieving himself at the urinal, he becomes aware that the man next to him is looking his way.

"Shalom aleichem," he says, "I see I've met a fellow Jew."

"Aleichem shalom," says Moishe. "That's right."

"And I see also that your parents were members of Beth Avraham shul."

Moishe is certain he's never met the stranger before. "Oy vey," he says, "How on earth did you know that?"

"Well," says the stranger, "Rabbi Goldstein is the only mohel I know who circumcises at an angle - and you're pissing in my shoe."

What did you do to my page?[edit]

Why does it say it's locked?! TOAST 06:47, June 9, 2010 (UTC)

As it is on the front page now and those articles tend to get vandalized, it's protected against editing from non registered (or new) users. The protection is valid for three days. You shouldn't have a problem editing it unless you tried it without logging in. ~http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/f/f6/Jewriken.GIF 17:14, June 9, 2010 (UTC)

more[edit]

Bitch you didn't replace the more link in the featured article queue. Fortunately, unlike Obama, as well as cussing you out for the deepwater horizon event I also fix the problem -- Prof Olipro Icons-flag-gb.png KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 00:38, June 13, 2010 (UTC)

Blame the baby, he's the spawn of satan! ~http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/f/f6/Jewriken.GIF 19:16, June 13, 2010 (UTC)

Template: Gamma287[edit]

Hey, I saw that you deleted my template. I was trying to see how to make it a proper one like, so say {{inserttemplatenamehere}}. Can you help with that?

--Gamma287 19:38, June 13, 2010 (UTC)

P.S. If you do make it a temp., please make its name {{Gamma287}}

I've left a note on your talk page. Did you see it? The formatting was fine, but the whole idea of the template was something we don't really allow. ~http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/f/f6/Jewriken.GIF 20:36, June 13, 2010 (UTC)
Ok, I understand.

--Gamma287 04:17, June 14, 2010 (UTC)

Thank you[edit]

If I wasn't so cold and dead inside, I'd love you. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 06:06, June 15, 2010 (UTC)

So that smell is coming from you?! ~http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/f/f6/Jewriken.GIF 07:42, June 15, 2010 (UTC)
Yeah, that's mine. I'm not ashamed of it. It keeps the mosquitoes away. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 17:06, June 15, 2010 (UTC)
It's a travesty, if you ask me. Perfect for Uncyc. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 15:27, June 16, 2010 (UTC)

Lovely[edit]

I love what you did with the main page. Does that make me an idiot? Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 15:26, June 16, 2010 (UTC)

Of course you are. You're a blooming idiot and we like you just because of that reason. ~http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/f/f6/Jewriken.GIF 16:19, June 16, 2010 (UTC)
I see you more of a buffoon, rather than an idiot. Are you looking for an upgrade? -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

Bloody Kite[edit]

THANK YOU for voting on Hello there! I'm a kite, and I will ruin your day! You are the BEST! I will kill you. What? I didn't say anything.mrthejazz I don't know if this image is the right size, but I'm trying. (please talk to me i'm lonely.) 02:14, June 18, 2010 (UTC)

Hi Mordillo[edit]

Are you actually a fan of the artist or did you just like the name? Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 10:06, June 19, 2010 (UTC)

Also, when do you think it'd be good to announce UN:CW? I'm trying to refrain from telling everyone about it because I don't want anybody to start rewriting anything ahead of time, but I also don't want everyone to go completely unaware of it. Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 10:22, June 19, 2010 (UTC)

Fan of the man's works. Great artist. When is the CW planned? ~http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/f/f6/Jewriken.GIF 10:59, June 19, 2010 (UTC)
Well, July 5th is when it starts. As usual it goes for two weeks, so it should end at 0:00 July 19th. Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 14:07, June 19, 2010 (UTC)
I think a two weeks heads up should probably enough. I'll put a site notice a week before (drop a hammer on me if I forget, my head isn't plugged in properly lately). ~http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/f/f6/Jewriken.GIF 22:37, June 19, 2010 (UTC)

A git Shabbos[edit]

Shabbat shalom! Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 10:07, June 19, 2010 (UTC)

A gitte shabas! How is everything? ~http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/f/f6/Jewriken.GIF 10:59, June 19, 2010 (UTC)
Not too bad - just came back from a short holiday on the English south coast. How about you and the family? All well? Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 11:04, June 19, 2010 (UTC)
Don't say family, makes me feel old :). All is well, I even get bit more sleep these days and the kid already chants "BAN! BAN! BAN!". Well, maybe it's "agogoafoaofoainifoanaadada" and that's what I end up hearing. ~http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/f/f6/Jewriken.GIF 22:39, June 19, 2010 (UTC)
Don't know if they do things differently in your part of the continent (I know they do in Scandinavia) but over here, it's father's day - so happy father's day, you old git! --~~