User talk:RAHB

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♥♥♥ I love you. ♥♥♥

The reason for this being that I get to use this new and shiny template to say hi!! Yes, this does indeed mean I lied to you -- you smell and no one loves you. Anyways, you look like you could use a buddy. We're all good friends around here, so here's some important stuff to help you out!

WELCOME.

• Beginner's Guide - this has lots of really cool stuff in it. I think.
• Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your grandmother, your gay teachers, or your dog.
• How to Be Funny and Not Just Stupid - how to be loved, even though you smell bad, and occasionally experience the uncontrollable urge to dance to 80's music.

If for some reason you you still want to find out more, these will help a bunch!

• About Uncyclopedia and The Five Pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to Get Started Editing on Uncyclopedia
• Help Pages

One more thing! When you do stuff, remember to sign your name using four tildes or just that weird looking sign () button at the top of the little edit box thingy. Anyways, I've gotta go practice being a fairy princess. Love, User:Ethine/sig

I hope they like my articles here. Maybe one day I'll even get to be an admin! -RAHB 13:21, April 25, 2010 (UTC)

Don't dream too big. The admins hate users with the username "RAHB". Sorry, you'll never make it. Ever.User:HELPME/sig2 electric boogalo 15:04, April 25, 2010 (UTC)

CRUSHERBOT

Thanks RAHB. He totally would have gone on a CRUSHING RAMPAGE BEEP BOOP BEEP if he noticed. --Flammable 12:53, April 25, 2010 (UTC)

My penis keeps turning CRUSHERBOT on. Sorry about that. User:Dexter111344/sig 00:53, April 26, 2010 (UTC)

My article

How come you put an unfinished template on my article? It was actually finished. --SadisticWolf 15:29, April 25, 2010 (UTC)

Well, it's very very short. And it's a list. And it says in itself that the author couldn't be arsed to think of anything else. And it's pretty much one huge name drop. So I figured you may like to expand on it. Perhaps some paragraphs, pictures, other angles, and more original jokes. Try reading UN:BGBU and HTBFANJS, and maybe take a look at some of our featured work for inspiration. Generally, a really short article has to be really great to stick around, and I know a few admins who may have deleted it instead of putting the template on it. Think it over for a while, try to come up with something more in depth, and see what you can get going. Nothing personal, it's just Uncyc policy. -RAHB 06:51, April 26, 2010 (UTC)

Oh. I had some writer's block so I thought I'd finish up quickly. I'll get better, I promise - I've been reading articles recently. Also, can you delete Steve Berry and gender neutrality? I give up on them, they suck. --SadisticWolf 16:38, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

Look!

I have a pretty new sig! Love, User:Ethine/sig

That is pretty. Does it come in vanilla scent? -RAHB 07:59, April 26, 2010 (UTC)

I THINK IT'S LESS BLURRY THIS TIME. Love, User:Ethine/sig

Taylor Swift

I forgot about the expiration date on there, so do you mind sending it to my userspace?--User:Iwillkillyou333/sig2 (Version 2) 03:10, April 29, 2010 (UTC)

Er, sure thing, but you know the only content was "Taylor Swift is a Country singer." -RAHB 22:00, April 29, 2010 (UTC)

Oh, forgot. Never mind--User:Iwillkillyou333/sig2 (Version 2) 22:07, May 1, 2010 (UTC)

No worries. -RAHB 23:59, May 2, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 1 May

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost: Special Weekend edition

The Periodical That Is Too Sexy For Its Shirt, Among Other Things

April 22nd 1st May, 2010 • Issue 85 • Insert penis joke here

The launch of a new and exciting weekend edition. Maybe. By Template:U "Where is my signpost?" was the cry heard from the world wide masses this week. "There should have been an issue on the 22nd and on the 29th, and nothing seems to have been done about it." Fear not, gentle reader, for the signpost will not go gentle into the good night. We have instead taken a brief hiatus for no reason that we could conceivably come up with, and now we are back in a blaze of glory. For those who are unaware of our proud history, the next issue, coming out this Thursday, will mark the (roughly) 2 year anniversary of the creation of the UnSignpost, the unperiodic periodical started by Template:U and Template:U. The good doctor, at the time of the first issue, was asked what his feelings were towards creating the first formalised forum for spam within Uncyclopedia. It was from this that we now have the immortal words "Those assholes better appreciate this. They'd BETTER." Now, two years on from those words of wit and wisdom, the UnSignpost is still struggling going strong. There have been varied reports as to why the USP has not been released. One suggestion is that regular contributors just "couldn't be bothered writing." Others have suggested that it comes down to the unwillingness of the head editor, who was recently heard to say "I'm so against... this... again... (E)xistence is far more than (it) deserves." One of the more probable reasons for the lack of issues may be that the news has now gone viral, and is available more readily through facebook then it has been previously. One facebook Template:U, who bears a remarkable resemblance to a Silent Bob inaction figure, has said of this development "Excuse me, but I think your geek is showing." Dexter111344 supported the move to the social networking site by saying "I won't be joining as I don't intend to ever make a Facebook." Another possibility is the number of users now communicating via UnSkypelopedia. When asked for a comment, Template:U said "OH FUCKING CHRIST I'VE CUM" Dr.Skullthumper, however, said "I started both of them.", and then wished to make reference to some forum or something. Template:U, however, was somewhat more constructive, informing this reporter that "Since it's getting close to summer, we'll likely have more calls, as most people's schedules are slowing down. As well as calls, we have the neat little chat thing at the bottom, where everyone sexually harasses each other when calls aren't going." Despite several attempts, I still haven't been sexually harassed. One reason why users have not been as distracted recently is due to the enormous amount of work going on at PEE review. At present there are articles waiting for review which have been there for over three weeks. For all those who are looking to get the review process back and alive, please pick up an article for review today. Your time and investment into this proud tradition can create the next great article, like the recently featured A wizard did it or the recently nominated UnNews:Windows 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 came out, hailed by Template:U as "the most profound and groundbreaking article to hit Uncyclopedia in over 50 years" Another reason why many users may be distracted is the number of collaborations that are currently in progress. Of those there is Tim Burton, being cleaned up by the team at ΥΣΣ, lead by the fantastic Template:U. Also starting to make some ground in the spread of reliable information is the team at Multiliteralist/Summit of Spin, lead by the wonderful Template:U. And of course, coming out blinking from seeing the light of Discordianism is the ever faithful Imperial colonization, lead by everyone's favourite canine, Template:U Template:U. And of course, another reason might simply be that the team here at USP are all running around arranging bake sales to assist with Poo Lit Surprise, the bi-annual competition that actually gives prizes to the winners. The most likely explanation, however, is that nothing newsworthy ever happens on Uncyclopedia

Check out these pages! UnNews:Windows 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 came out Looks who's out of the closet. The most profound and groundbreaking article to hit Uncyclopedia in over 50 years From our logs: Template:U blocked 86.171.18.85 with an expiry time of infinite ‎(YOU ARE SO COOL SO COOL AWESOME LOL) Template:U blocked 91.195.183.211 with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(Ah, that may be true, but you are a wanker, so it evens out) Template:U blocked 92.4.117.223 with an expiry time of infinite (YOU EVER BEEN FUCKED IN THE ARSE WHILE WATCHING A YANKEES GAME?) Template:U blocked 217.28.207.226 with an expiry time of 1 week (time's up! you need to go to the toilet to do some poopy!) Template:U blocked 91.195.183.213 with an expiry time of 1 month ‎(Cyberbullying. Matthew R. would like to point out that while he may be gay, you are banned) Template:U blocked YOUR TOO SLOW! with an expiry time of infinite ‎(your spelling is shit, it's spelt "YOU'RE" ... so that means you're a fucking retard) Template:U blocked God-Is-Cool with an expiry time of 40 days ‎(Blessed be the Uncyclopedia admins for they shall lead us to the promised land, also bye bye!) Template:U blocked God-Is-Cool with an expiry time of 40 years (It took them 40 years not 40 days you bloody heathen) Biopic of the Week What can anyone say about Template:U. There are rumours that he is not an individual, but rather a multinational conglomerate of authors who do nothing but write quality articles on an extremely high rate. Or at least on an extreme high. However you look at it his contributions to date have been fast and furious. There is definitely something odd with him at least. If nothing else, he has a scarily in-depth knowledge of the world of professional wrestling. In fact he has been nominated as both Writer of the month and Potatochopper of the month. There is a particular school of though that says that these fields here should be filled in with any old garbage in order to ensure that both the left and the right hand sides of the USP are of the same length. While we appreciate this sentiment, the truth is that the USP is known to be constantly at bursting point with information that we can't fit into one column, and so this right hand column is essential for the stuff that we can't fit elsewhere. SCROTUM The above section is not a prime example of the statement in the section above. Please feel free to ignore it.

Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/footer

Brought to you by fucking magic. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 09:51, 1 May 2010

Hello

Get on Skype you sexy bunny --++ 06:22, May 9, 2010 (UTC)

All in good time, my lovely little lemon tart. -RAHB 06:23, May 9, 2010 (UTC)

Yoga

Can I have yoga back, Funnybony and I are going to work on it very soon. Thanks. Aleister sans chains 17:56 10 5 MMX

Viola. -RAHB 18:04, May 10, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks! Al des chain 18:14 10 5 MMX

Glad you liked my article

You're right. Somebody needs to review it already. Thanks for the ego boost! Also, the fact that you're on last.fm is beautiful. I'm a fan User:Mrthejazz/sig 23:53, May 11, 2010 (UTC)

It's excellent. I've been a huge fan of your zaniness for quite some time, but I only just recently found your subpage with your listed articles. From what I've seen in three years, you don't get near the praise you deserve for your work here. Hopefully a listing on the Hall Of Shame can change all of that. And last.fm indeed, do you have an account on there? -RAHB 05:45, May 12, 2010 (UTC)

Frankly, I didn't know I had any fans. Thank-you! It really means a lot. Yeah, I have an account. I haven't been able to hear any of your stuff lately though, because of computer problems. When I have the resources, I'll have to check your stuff out. Thanks again! User:Mrthejazz/sig 04:15, May 13, 2010 (UTC)

Do it to it. I'd have to imagine you have many fans like me who assumed you already knew how awesome you were. Or maybe not. Maybe I'm the only one. I am, after all, a complete and utter loony bird. /me sprouts wings and burrows into the ground -RAHB 04:17, May 13, 2010 (UTC)

Just letting you know my Jack Black article is now up for VFH! An enthusiastic YES! would be greatly appreciated. User:Mrthejazz/sig 02:17, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

Funky! -RAHB 23:13, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

(Me jumping up and down excitably)User:Mrthejazz/sig 03:45, May 18, 2010 (UTC)

Now get a skype account, ya crazy! :D -RAHB 04:49, May 18, 2010 (UTC)

I don't have a webcam. User:Mrthejazz/sig 04:53, May 18, 2010 (UTC)

Do you have a mic? That's all you really need. Or you could just be silent and just type into the chat. User:Dexter111344/sig 04:56, May 18, 2010 (UTC)

No mic, but I could type. I'm not sure how these things work. FINE! you win! FINE FINE DOUBLE FINE!User:Mrthejazz/sig 04:57, May 18, 2010 (UTC)

Do I hear a triple fine?! Going once, going twice. Sold! To the man with the bushy eyebrows! -RAHB 05:07, May 18, 2010 (UTC)

OH MY FUCKING GOD

TWIN PEAKS IS THE MOST BADASS SHOW EVER --++ 21:56, June 5, 2010 (UTC)

Get

...your hair cut and get a job, you hippy bastard. That is all. -- User:Mhaille/sig

Taken in to account. But only if you stop caring about football and get an accent with less inflection on certain syllables, you limey wanker. That is all. Now how the hell have you been? -RAHB 00:16, June 19, 2010 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia is Worst

RAHB Welcome you House Please Using mIRC or ChatZilla

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