User talk:SPIKE

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Spike the Dog (06b).jpg New stuff at the end, please; I'll make it fit into the section organization after the topic dies down.

Is this about UnNews or UnNews audio? If so, talk to me here.

I don't routinely put a Watch on other people's talk pages. Nothing personal! I endorse keeping a conversation together on a single talk page, but a few days after the conversation ends, I will Unwatch you--the alternative being endless false alarms.

Some comments on this page were originally delivered to my old user talk page, which I am not going to check regularly. Anything typed here I may post-edit clerically. Typically, I combine parts of dialogues that took place on the other guy's talk page. Some conversations that pertain to the text of an article are moved to that article's talk page.


Articles I edited[edit]


Rickyrab on Islam

I wish you'd reconsider or abridge your fifth of five edits to Islam today. I think it adds a lot of sect-by-sect detail, and a little editorializing, for not a lot of additional laughs. Thanks. Spıke ¬  02:45 27-Oct-09

I have blown up my fifth edit to Islam.Rickyrab 02:54, October 27, 2009 (UTC)
Thanks, see ya. Spıke ¬  03:01 27-Oct-09
Pelargonium on Islam

I just read your Islam article again, and it really surprised me how much you know about it. I mean, it's a very sensitive subject that most people avoid for fear of being politically incorrect, but you seamlessly worked in the facts without making it seem overly serious or just a blatantly Islamophobic rant that the old article kinda was. What I mean is, as a humor wiki, this isn't a place to make a serious article exposing Islam, but you somehow made it work, intentionally or not. Well, now I'm getting too serious with my "exposing Islam" lecture, and obviously this isn't the place for that kind of debate. Basically, as someone who has studied Islamic history and the Quran, I'd just like to say that your article is much more accurate than you may know, and thanks for (re)writing it that way. Feel free to add this ninjastar to your userpage.

Paizuri MUN Talkpage My Contributions 19:40, December 29, 2009 (UTC)

My secret is merely crash training at Wikipedia, a secret I often use when rescuing an article (such as from VFD) on a subject I know little about. Often when reading Wikipedia, I see immediately a good way to misunderstand it in my rendition. However, your comment sums up exactly what I was trying to achieve, so it's gratifying. Spıke ¬  06:27 30-Dec-09
See also Baha'i. Spıke ¬  14:03 30-Dec-09


Just want to say I really enjoyed the article. Cheers! Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 04:45, Jan

Thank you for saying so! The material following Section 1 was there originally; it's out of character with the new stuff but remains to acknowledge the people who came before. However, the description of First World through Third World went on and on (to Eighth World, I think) and that had to go. Spıke ¬  11:08 3-Jan-10

Pee Reviews I did[edit]

Saves from VFD[edit]


You nominated this as a "stupid stub." Without claiming that User:SPIKE/Port is no longer stupid, it is clearly no longer a stub, so would you flip to Keep so I can get a Save? Thanks. Spıke ¬  22:07 4-Dec-09

Ah, sorry. I haven't been to vfd in a while, but I like your revision. I'll change my vote to keep. :) —Paizuri MUN (Talk Contribs Poll!)

Thanks! Spıke ¬  22:55 4-Dec-09

Peter Pan[edit]

User:SPIKE/Peter Pan corrects the problems in your original nomination. Please reconsider your vote if you find it keepable. Spıke ¬  11:35 14-Dec-09

It's very hard to satisfy my sadistic urge to delete crappy articles when you keep rewriting them!
  1. REDIRECT User:Paizuri/sig2 02:56, December 15, 2009 (UTC)

Doing so is why I haunt VFD. There's a list of saves on my user page. Spıke ¬  03:23 15-Dec-09

Well, you're doing a good job. Keep it up!
  1. REDIRECT User:Paizuri/sig2 03:29, December 15, 2009 (UTC)

Recognition that you're doing well what you're trying to do is the Hall of Fame! Thank you. Spıke ¬  12:57 15-Dec-09

I think it needs a rewrite - sans Cliff Richard especially. I do like the Wendy idea as a co-singer/artist. --RomArtus Imperator(talk) 14:45, December 15, 2009 (UTC)

The line that "Peter Pan is the Cliff Richard of fairy tales" is a cute rendition of Cliff Richard being called the Peter Pan of music. And the music-maker section is a hook to mistake Captain Hook for rocker Doctor Hook. But the stuff on conversion to Christianity is expendable. Now, in what programming language do you type spaces before commas and periods? And why don't you change your VFD vote and let us get this into mainspace before you hack it to bits? Spıke ¬  14:53 15-Dec-09
OK..I will change vote as suggested. Someone else complained about me doing this. I guess it is legacy from writing out stories in biro etc. before the internet. --RomArtus Imperator(talk) 15:25, December 15, 2009 (UTC)
Thanks. I've made a pass through the first paragraph of "Youth" to tighten up the wording. Later, I'd like to move the Internet joke lower and keep the intro short. What's biro? Spıke ¬  15:29 15-Dec-09
A biro is another name we use in the UK for a ballpoint pen. Named after a Mr Lazlo Biro . --RomArtus Imperator(talk) 07:21, December 23, 2009 (UTC)

Unsignpost 18 Feb 2010 stuff[edit]

On my comment to MrN that Unsignpost "honored" a notorious vandal

Hey. I saw your comments on MrN's page and thought it better to come here to explain the rationale etc. As to giving credit to vandals, it was one of the things I took deeply into consideration before penning that piece, and was one of the reasons why I let MrN, UU, and RDB, and anyone who reads their user-pages, or anyone who reads the unsignpost press room know what I was planning to do. One of my motivators here was that yes - ILP managed to get his 15 minutes, but his reward was an infinity ban, and in the way that this was written has managed to give himself a significant reputation as - to be blunt - a total moron. It also ties in with the Darwin award theme to the article previously. The use of the time frames involved show that if you are going to try something like this you have an extremely short window before you find yourself on the wrong end of a ban boot.

There are a significant number of cases similar to him before who haven't been used as an illustration like this though, and that I wouldn't use, for a very simple reason. ILP was, by the estimation of more than a few, simply a stupid kid who could barely work his way out of a paper bag. His short lived spree was due to ignorance of nettiquette rather than any real intention to vandalise. The damage he did was minor, and extremely unlikely to be repeated. Many of these vandals though are more destructive. One such example who I won't name - for the exact same rationale - created half a dozen sock puppets and was here for a few months being more insidious and destructive as time went on before finally it clicked that user a, b, c, d, and e were all the same person.

I hope this helps clear it all up. It isn't likely to be a repeated thing in any way at all. I'm glad that you felt it significant enough to be brought up. Although just as a future thing UU is generally the ubermind behind UnSignpost, and the author of a particular article generally will sign it. And I may possibly write more in the future on this, but that is also unlikely - this was simply to give UU a little breathing room at this stage of Mrs UU's incubation of an alien lifeform. <span class="GenOberst"> PoopyOnTheRadio </span> 03:59, 20/02/2010

I appreciate the clarification, but again, the tone of my post on Mr.N.'s talk page far overstates my concern. It's like, Mr.N. and I had this conversation (regarding the same vandal you mention) where he says, "No, son, all dogs have four legs." So this newbie sees a three-legged dog and says, "Well, lookie there." Indeed, I was shocked at the counterexample--that any vandal be rewarded by seeing himself named in the House Organ--but I am not concerned that nobody else is concerned, nor least of all that there are not rules set in stone against such a thing. It was an observation and never a formal complaint; after all, I have not mortgaged the house to pay the tuition here and am not entitled to any particular level of satisfaction. Also, it's conceivable that, never having met any of you or any of the vandals in question, I don't always deal with X with the proper context for X. Spıke ¬  04:14 20-Feb-10
No fuss. I just thought it better to get the clarification and the understanding of the rationale. It's like the old adage regarding rules - It's i before e except after c - but don't tell your neighbours. (And that would have read a lot better if your browser settings didn't kill the italics and bold.) <span class="GenOberst"> PoopyOnTheRadio </span> 05:39, 20/02/2010
Get off my talk page you pesky kids! Hang on. This is not my talk page. WAIT! Who stole my slippers? MrN Icons-flag-gb.png 00:13, Feb 25

Grapes of wroth[edit]

Your odd archiving makes it very hard to despoil your page in classic Uncyc style. PuppyOnTheRadio sig.gif                                                  00:55, 3/03/2010

"Despoil"? Do you mean "descry"? Or did you wish to plunder my talk page?
If you are really trying to find something in an archive, just ask. ... Spıke ¬  01:01 3-Mar-10

Actually I was being cryptic because I don't like the word grapes. I'll have a look. PuppyOnTheRadio sig.gif                                                  01:08, 3/03/2010

“The Dean waxes wroth? Then let Roth wax the Dean!”

I am modifying your contributions because, as I mentioned on your or Spang's talk page once, every time a GIF occurs in a paragraph of prose without a hard return, WikiMedia fails to enclose the paragraph in <P>, and for some reason such paragraphs are rendered here in very tiny type. Spıke ¬  01:12 3-Mar-10

rest of conversation on User:SPIKE/UnNews

Camera Obscura UnCleara[edit]

Hi. I was reading over the comments on the camera obscura nom and read yours again, and wondered if you ever went back to look at the page after it was edited, subtly edited (I love the last line on the page, and the birthday picture one). As you can see I have no trouble whoring for this one, and with a couple of vote its sooo close to feature. Anyway, please take a second look and see if those edits were enough to quall your concerns, or if more are needed. Going into my Hurt Locker now. Al in Hurt Locker :46 9.3.mmx

I did go back to it and saw that my concerns were resolved. I hate to not do you a favor, as you have done me many recently, but I've never voted for honors and merit badges, virtually never go to Page One (having an Uncyclopedia search bar instead), and only vote at VFD in order to snatch articles for reconstruction. I was prowling around VFH that day merely because Zim nominated one of my UnNews stories.
Speaking of reconstruction, White van is done and lots of fun, but Batroc is going to be a problem. I've gone to Wikipedia and to the external links on the page. I can do a copy-edit, and several people voted Keep because they also found it funny, but there is not much else to say about the guy. Spıke ¬ 02:28 9-Mar-10
Enough to say that your concerns were resolved, thanks. I wish I was a Batroc fan, but I don't know if I've ever even read a comic with him in it. There's probably some kind of backstory on he character. But maybe the page, with just a bit of clean up, is fine, given that many of us had some laughs reading it. The large pic works well on the page to set the mood. I'll read White Van, if fact, right now. Al 2:36 9.3.mmx Got some laughs out of me. Should probably be on the Crimes template, if its not already there.

[Hoax entry on VFD][edit]

Fuck off. I'll amuse myself in whichever way I see fit. If you have a problem with it, go ahead and take it up with an admin. In the meantime, please don't hesitate to take your "serious business" attitude and blow it out your ass. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us.png CUN16:12, 10 Mar

Didn't Mordillo already sex everyone apart on this one? Let's move on, I brought nachos for just such an occasion. --ChiefjusticeDS 16:16, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
Symbol delete vote.svg Serious < Hitler The Man In Black. 22:31, March 10, 2010 (UTC)

Child Obesity[edit]

I believe you were the one who posted a startling and unfriendly deletion notice on my page. Although you did hurt my feelings and cause me to sob uncontrollably in front of my family, I just want to know why you think it should be deleted.

You should sign your posts, Thatblondguy. Chers rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 00:37, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
It took me a long time to see that the above are two messages, rather than a prank from you. Indentation finally saved me from accusing you of tipping the absinthe earlier than I popped the top on my oil can of Labatt's. I've responded on his talk page. Bottom line, the VFD and the tag were a courtesy to Rifting, who rescinded his nomination thinking there were 20 active VFD votes. I actually voted to keep Thatblondguy's article. Spıke ¬ 00:49 25-Mar-10


I read your Bahai article, which was pretty funny, although not nearly as insulting as mine. Are you or were you a Bahai? I was until I discovered no God. chers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 13:49, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Nope. There is a Baha'i commune up in Newmarket, which in the '90s produced a world-fusion musical group called Do'a. (This is a "call to prayer." The band changed its name to Do'ah after being overtaken by, and confused with, the altogether different Dead On Arrival (DOA).) The subject of Baha'i has come up in political discussions since then, as a way forward for Muslims. My detailed knowledge of Baha'i comes from reading Wikipedia for an hour. Spıke ¬ 14:27 7-Apr-10

Interesting. I've listened to Do'a, and found them pretty good. At that stage in my listening career, I found them derivative of Paul Winter Consort. In that form of music I like Oregon and the various musicians who've collaborated with them. Oregon's Music Of Another Present Era was my introduction to that stuff, and continues to be my standard of measurement. Thus I found Do'a to be nice, but lacking. "Muslim Lite" is an apt and hilarious description of the Bahai World Faith.. Rats off to ya! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 15:56, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Their music may be lacking, but it delivers one thing I need in music: memorable and innovative musical themes. Sometimes the flute solos are a little too Nice for me.
PS--Do comment on the "protest" at UnNews talk:Style. Mordillo wrapped this debate up (forced it closed, actually), in view of the "protest" by two writers, without addressing the underlying questions: (1) Do we all even need to style our articles the same way? and (2) Are there significant problems with your preferences on bolding/italics? My own opinions are on the page. Spıke ¬ 16:04 7-Apr-10
I'm doing this now. I think you may have ruffled Mordillos feathers because he got the impression that you can be imposing, when in fact you're being constructive. Being "chesty" doesn't go over well here, so if anybody catches a whiff of it, real or imagined, they may speak up. I happen to be amused by the idea that you may be plotting a takeover. rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 16:44, April 7, 2010 (UTC)


Hi Spike, just a quick tip: when popping your userspace pages on QVFD after moving the articles to mainspace, don't forget to use the {{redirect}} template, or lazy, incompetent admins like me might end up deleting the mainspace page we're redirected to by accident. And then you have to ask for it back, and we have to restore it, and it's more work than anyone wanted all around! In conclusion: brush your teeth, and stay in school. Toodles! --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 12:53, Apr 9

Right you are. It had been so long since I moved these files to their final destinations that I didn't think (and didn't look!) that these were redirects. Spıke ¬ 12:57 9-Apr-10

And on VFD: don't list articles that are on ICU, especially ones that expire that day. ICU'd articles get checked by the admins, and most (including that one) will get deleted when their tag expires, or shortly afterwards. Putting that article on VFD extends its life unnecessarily, takes up a slot on the queue (OK, it's not full at the moment, but it may be) and wastes the time of everyone who votes on it, as it was going to be deleted again. Cheers! --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 13:04, Apr 9

So many violations, so little time! Dexter bitched me out on this one on VFD. Thanks. Spıke ¬ 13:06 9-Apr-10

Mac OS start-up sound[edit]

Spike! Dude! I know nothing about making audio. But I have an article that needs the actual audio. Can you make an audio of MAC OS start up sound for HHhaarrraannggmMM and add to the page? Please.. Cheers--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png 21:10, Apr 8

I could. Except I don't have a Mac and I don't know what sound it makes on start-up. Better than record it, find someone with a Mac and get the media file from it. Spıke ¬ 21:16 8-Apr-10

Spike! I have a Mac - but I can't record it and start it at the same time. But if I use a recorder on my iphone to record the start-up and send you by email, can you use that? You're the best person for Audio I know. I don't have a clue about how to put it. I don't even know what "kitten huffing" means. Really! Cheers!--Funnybony.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png 22:32, Apr 8

I don't know how to get a sound to play when you bring up an article (PuppyOnTheRadio might). I can convert WAV to MP3 and can edit WAV to clean it up. I cannot receive any such large files by e-mail; better to upload it to Uncyclopedia and point me to it. I don't know what you want me to do with it. If the iPhone can produce an audio file, why can't you just use that file straight? Spıke ¬ 22:52 8-Apr-10

Hi Spike, well I recorded it and uploaded as MP3 as File:Mac-startup.mp3 It just needs to be added as a button to play below the Mac picture at HHhaarrraannggmMM, where it says, "* This is the sound that an Apple Computer makes on startup." (below the pic). Could you link it so people can choose to play it? Same like your news stories. But just one. Much appreciated if possible. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png 19:09, Apr 9

Dude! I have the link on the File:Mac-startup.mp3 at HHhaarrraannggmMM but it won't play because I seem to have the code wrong. It plays in the arvhines page at File:Mac-startup.mp3
Could you work some magic and get it working?Dude!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png 19:42, Apr 9

It plays for me--a simple organ chord. It identifies itself as a 0:05 audio, 44100 Hz (CD-quality) but monaural. It has no ID3 information on author, album, etc., as you would expect.

(1) Read UnNews:UnNewsAudio#How to listen regarding necessary local settings. (2) What happens when you click on one of the entries in the UnNews Audio most-recent list? If it doesn't play either, then you have issues on your end. (If it does, then I have just humped one of my recent performances. I know you won't mind.) Spıke ¬ 20:25 9-Apr-10

Spike! Thanks for getting that sound to sound. Much appreciated. I have no idea how you went from file to media format? But I believe it! Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png 17:20, Apr 10

Um, I went from File: to Media: by editing File: and typing in Media:. Right there, in the section heading. Now, I hate to be the one to break this to you, but except for the article's title, which is the word by which you refer to the sound, there is no humor in this article. Why don't you tell us what the sound was originally? and how Apple came to pick it for a start-up sound? I suspect it has something to do with the riots outside your house right now. Spıke ¬ 21:55 10-Apr-10

El Niño[edit]

While I don't disagree with your raionale, the user who made those edits was a n00b, and you may want to address it directly on his talk-page rather then revert and not talk. I suggested that he start to work on El Nino, and I'd rather he learn from the experience by constructive criticism. After all, I applauded the work of n00b on white folks after I'd gone through substantial work to clean up the worst of the cruft while still retaining the original feel, and could have quite as easily gone in and reverted a new user without so much as a welcome to the neighbourhood myself. PuppyOnTheRadio sig.gif                                                  Monday, 13:22, Apr 12 2010 UTC

All right. 13:29 PS--Have now done so. I see on his talk page that you suggested that the article needs improvement; what sorts, please? Spıke ¬ 13:38 12-Apr-10
Hard to say. I usually write to try and get things to the point of featurability, and this isn't. I can't put my finger on how to get it there, but it has a good solid base, but needs polishing. I have looked at it a few times and then walked away again, which is why I was wondering if another perspective on it would help. (It didn't, but it was worth the shot.) PuppyOnTheRadio sig.gif                                                  Monday, 22:04, Apr 12 2010 UTC

That was really real stuff falsely blamed on El Nino... Oh... Sorry. HurricaneMa§ter 22:53, April 12, 2010 (UTC)

To be clear, the list is a bunch of happens-all-the-time-in-Latin-America things, and no one really blames it on El Niño except the demented writer of the encyclopedia article. It's just that your addition pulled it in the direction of goofy stuff that doesn't really happen. That's what broke the joke. Spıke ¬ 23:30 12-Apr-10
I don't know about that - escalation is one of the techniques that is covered in HTBFANJS, and escalation from the mundane to the ridiculous can be an effective tool. It didn't work in this case, but it could work. PuppyOnTheRadio sig.gif                                                  Monday, 23:56, Apr 12 2010 UTC


Hi Spike, just got back from Frisco. iPad was sold out everywhere, but we did a freeze-ass downtown early morning stand-in-line deal to get one for my kid. Its way better than I expected, and with WiFi it's a total computer. Awesome resolution, and cool kicks way over-board gizmo. Like a thin book, and with 10 solid hours long battery life. Have you seen? Hope you've been well, dude!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png 17:40, May 5 17:40, May 5, 2010 (UTC)

I'll stick with my 7-year-old Toshiba Portégé [sic]. Its battery life is good too, because it has a second battery where the CD player belongs. And a camera memory chip where the hard disk belongs. You type an article on yours, and I'll type one on mine, and I'll get there first.
Your VFH of the iPad article went nowhere, as did a VFH nomination I got more recently. UnNews simply gets stale before a consensus can assemble. And, as Skinfan noted, UnNewses are banged out faster than real articles--and with scrounged photos. Spıke ¬ 18:08 5-May-10

Pink Panther Party[edit]

The "G.D. Lowe" thing was a reference to Guy Delo and His Orchestra, who really did make a Pink Panther disco record:

See, G.D. Lowe sounds like Guy Delo. I hope you understand. 21:52, May 12, 2010 (UTC)

A pun for a niche audience then? Hoping you are not Guy Delo humping a one-hit wonder, I have put your change back in. Thank you for jousting. Spıke ¬ 22:37 12-May-10

Main Page and UnNews Main Page[edit]

The items on the main page often relate to old stories long gone from UnNews or are put in there by other contributors trying to promote their own stories. I know there is a template link to add your own stories in there but I would prefer if the editors of UnNews could promote what they think is best in there instead. Just a thought. --RomArtus Imperator(talk) 23:15, June 13, 2010 (UTC)

This was discussed in detail in UnNews:Newsroom, where I'll eventually move this section. Zim manages {{RecentUnNews}}, though other writers have added their own articles to it, and he and Mr.N. concluded that not all articles should go there. I manage {{RecentUnNewsAudio}}, although reporting one's own work there is the only easy way for anyone to tell us they've done one. My policy is to list every audio I'm aware of, but it's over 90% me. I'm not aware of "old stories long gone" listed in either, but there is no way to keep users from editing the templates than active policing by their manager. Spıke ¬ 13:01 14-Jun-10

Thanks BTW for adding a source to the Earth economic basket case story. I was too busy(!) watching the World Cup here. Next on tonight - North Korea v Brazil....--RomArtus Imperator(talk) 18:14, June 15, 2010 (UTC)

Next for u.s., "Slovenia." (Where's that? Didn't we acquire them?) Spıke ¬ 20:48 15-Jun-10
USA. Population 300 million. Prison population 2.2 million (2006 figures). Slovenia population 2.0 million. So it would be like Free Americans V Prisoners match. --RomArtus Imperator(talk) 06:45, June 16, 2010 (UTC)
HAH!!! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 20:17, June 18, 2010 (UTC)
That factoid, Romartus, will be the basis (among others) for a soccer UnNews story today. Spıke ¬ 13:36 19-Jun-10

UnNews:Suicide bombers threaten strike action[edit]

Don't bother. It's copied from here. I already added it to QVFD. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 11:21, 20 June 2010

Wow--down to the really clever bits. Well-spotted. Spıke ¬ 11:26 20-Jun-10

I had nothing better to do, so I made you this[edit]