VFS Finishes, New Admins Unleashed, UnSignpost already struggling for material for next week
And there it is folks, weeks of frenzied voting (sorta), underhand whoring (possibly), fevered speculation (mostly by this newspaper, as is the role of the press), and finally apathy and overkill (abour 4 days in to the whole thing), Votes for Sysops has ended, and the unlucky losers are Template:U and Template:U.
- By Template:U
What does this mean? Well, it means there are now two more Brits armed with bansticks loose on the wiki. Their chirpy, endearing optimism and approachability has already been replaced by the dead-eyed stare and world-weary cynicism required by sysophood, and their friends on the wiki have all turned into suck-ups looking for joke bans.
When asked for comments, Template:U told us: "I'm willing to accept bribes for huffing articles, banning users, replacing pages with goatse and so on and plan to become as corrupt as possible in as short a time as possible". He also said, when accused of being a "Big Tough Admin Guy": ""Big" - indisputably, but it's all fat; "Tough" - only if you mean chewy; "Admin" - yes, can't argue with that one; "Guy" - only until I've saved enough for the operation". Template:U hadn't commented at the time of going to press, so we made something up: "I'm going to ban everyone, I have judged this wiki, and found it wanting. All must pay", he might have said.
Of course, this situation also means the long-overdue return of the wildly popular Votes for Sandwiches. Already, 3 bread-based snacks have been suggested, and voting is expected to be fierce.
Finally, it also means that the UnSignpost, which has leaned heavily on VFS for
filler its lead story for the last 3 weeks, is now set to struggle heavily for stories for the forseeable future. What desperate straw will we clutch at next week? Find out next thursday!
Frat party; Bring your own kegger
- By Template:U
Finally the fraternal (and sisternal) instincts of Uncyclopedia's finest minds have a place that they can call their own.
ΥΣΣ, otherwise more easily pronounceably known as Upsilon Sigma Sigma, has been founded in the cellar of one of our newest members, who has already earned the level of respect and admiration that many of our members feel. Template:U has taken the initiative of an entrepreneur and put this together with nothing but a jovial spirit and a little bit of random whoring on an excessive amount of member's talk pages.
I've been sitting here, thinking to myself, "gee, Uncyclopedia has a lot of stuff, a legal department, a political party, and an assortment of other great things, but it doesn't have a fraternity." I also noticed that the top 50 wanted articles list hasn't changed in over a year.
|Template:U, Guildy's talk page
In their own charter, they claim that they stand for three thing, being Humor, Honor and Hubris, even if they are unable to spell two of them in English.
Already boasting membership of some of the finest that Uncyclopedia has to offer, including the founder of Der Unwehr and its highest point holding member, it is focused on creating one quality article per month via collaboration. However, rather than covering the same ground so amply covered by Imperial Colonization, it chooses to take its inspiration from one of most neglected sources, Wanted Pages.
However, not content to simply cater to those who like to work together on articles, they also have another focus in their writing sights - Requested Articles. And the third major focus is the betterment of articles by non members through their unstinting work on Pee Review.
While this is still in it's infancy the fraternity/sisternity is looking for
fresh blood new pledges willing to come forth and work for the community, or failing that, people who like to party and eat chocolate cake.
For those who are after more information, feel free to check out ΥΣΣ today. Or tomorrow, if that works better for you. The bar is always open, although not always stocked.
|From our logs New Admins Bumper Special!
- 10:22, 31 March 2010 Template:U (Talk | contribs) blocked <insert name here> (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 months (I told you not to do that)
- 09:59, 31 March 2010 Template:U (Talk | contribs) resurrected Mordillo (Talk | contribs) (now THAT's a proper abuse of power)
- 09:54, 31 March 2010 Template:U (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours (Zionist conspiracy block)
- 09:50, 31 March 2010 Template:U (Talk | contribs) resurrected RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) (someone's gotta do it. Besides, over the last year, I've developed a perverse love of poop)
- 09:48, 31 March 2010 Template:U (Talk | contribs) blocked RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 20 years (stop playing with the poop dammit! You're an admin baby!)
- 09:48, 31 March 2010 Template:U (Talk | contribs) resurrected ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) (Bah)
- 09:47, 31 March 2010 Template:U (Talk | contribs) blocked ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 10 minutes (Not banned enough yet: and being smelly)
- 09:46, 31 March 2010 Template:U (Talk | contribs) resurrected RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) (I've just woken up! Give me a chance to become accustomed to my new powers!)
- 09:42, 31 March 2010 Template:U (Talk | contribs ) blocked RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 20 minutes (Abuse your power dammit!)
|Biopic of the Week|
In honour of the new additions to their ranks, this week's bio profiles the Uncyc admins. Bitter, twisted, and cynical to a man (and they are all men, even the supposed Template:U Template:U), the admins spend their whole lives thinking of trivial reasons to ban people and delete their latest masterworks. Nothing gives them more of a hardon than watching someone lovingly sculpt a perfectly formed Chuck Norris joke, perhaps combined with a Your Mom reference and a sublimely subtle penis penis penis insertion, waiting patiently for it to be realised to the author's satisfaction, and then deleting it, possibly with an insulting message into the bargain.
Their mothers never loved them.