User talk:Spider

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This page is a piece of crap. The author acknowledges this fact.


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For those who are easily amused, Uncyclopedia has a totally unrelated article about:

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Spider.







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ununcyclopedic
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1000 Uncyclopedians
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9yearsoldboy
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This article looks as if it t'was written by a 9 years old boy who always includes the word "Wang" "poop" "boob" "crap" and "dumb" in all mad libs...i mean just look at this page, SHES-A-CRAP!
You is 9, son!
NSFWArticle
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...Although, since you're already here it's kind of too late for this warning to actually be useful.

If a boss or coworker sees this article, claim that it was spam and blame the IT guys. Otherwise, continue to read it until your lewd urges are satisfied.
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If a boss or coworker saw this image, claim that it was spam and blame the IT guys. Otherwise, continue to view it until your lewd urges are satisfied.
Templates
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Safe
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Relax......
This article is certified safe for prudes. It is so tame, you could walk right up and poke it in the eye and it wouldn't fight back. The MPAA couldn't give it more than a PG rating, and even China has no desire to censor it. So just sit your family down in front of the computer, and bask in the warmth of its gentle humour.
For use on pages with outstandingly gentle humour.
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A Template
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Adult content
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Allah Approved
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American
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Association for better sex
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The Association for better sex
This article is designed to help fat losers like your mom with their sex life because they cannot get any action from winners like Johnny Depp
Ballin'2
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Ballin.gif Stop hand.png This article isn't ballin'. Stop hand.png
Please rewrite it. It might be funny, but it sure isn't written like an encyclopedia.
Ballin2
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Ballin.gif Stop hand.png This article isn't ballin'. Stop hand.png
Please rewrite it. It might be funny, but it sure isn't written like an encyclopedia.
Bat Fuck Insane
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Best Pseudo scientific pages
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Black humor
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Hellyea.jpg Black Humor! 
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See more about Black humor.
Blueorca
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Ahh! A mighty Grunt! This article is protected by Blue Orcs. Knux must like them.
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For great justice take off every 'zig'.
Bored
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Kraspin.gif One or more of the authors of this entry was terribly bored. They may be afflicted with Attention Deficit... hey, we should go fly kites. That'd be so awesome! We haven't flown kites, since, like, summer. Hey, summer is when birds come out! Birds are so cool.
You can help by paying for their Ritalin, or finding them a kitten to play with.
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Buh?
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California warning
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Danger
THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS ONE OR MORE WORDS OR PHRASES KNOWN TO THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA
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Use on pages that directly contradict the majority of other articles. Uncyclopedia is funnier when it presents a unified front.
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For use on any page where the contents have been censored (by whatever means) for moral, ethical, legal, or humourous purposes.
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Incorrect usage! Please sign with timestamp: {{Cleanup|~~~~~}}

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Communist Hamsters have Reeducated this page!

The Communist Hamster Armies of Evil have conquered this page in the name of Russia. All reviewers will be reeducated in the clear plastic ball of doom. All capitalists guinea pigs shall eat poo. Obey them and leave this page and you might be spared. Maybe..

Completely Un-Politically correct
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This Page Is Completely Un-Politically correct.

If you want a nice safe page with equality and love, go somewhere else.

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Computer Virus!

Do not delete this template or a Virus will enter your computer

Enter Virus:

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Confusing
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Please stop reading or risk SEHS.
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Construction
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Crap
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This is a piece of crap. The author acknowledges this fact.
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CurrentEvent
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Dangerous
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Dangerous page
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Zeichen 101.png DANGER!!   Viewing or reading this page can be deadly ... or worse.
1,330 users are currently castrated, paralyzed, infected with Herpes, and/or disfigured for daring to see this page.
If you just got here and are feeling dizzy due to losing a pint of blood from the stump where your arm
used to be, please stumble away and call for help, then lay down in the gutter and pass out.



For pages about things that are likely to kill you.
Dead
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The Beast is watching
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Eric Cartman
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Eric cartman is one of th emain charachters on the televison series, South Park, in which he plays the one with 18 fucking chins and wears exxxxtrra large thangs, he is also known ad fatass, eric, cartman, peaceful horowitz, and manfred baltingles, his favorite person is proabibly liam cause hees so cool and he likes to skatebard
random elvis
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Fabulous!
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for use if articles are really cool (But about gay things).
Un-Fabulous!
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for use if articles are just plain gay or needs a clean-up.
Factual
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Faulknerized
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Funny?
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Nuvola apps important.svg The presence of humour in this article is disputed.
Humour's the thing that makes you bust your gut, or at least cracks a smile on your ugly mug. Is it here? Or are the authors just off their nut?
Leave your one-liners and wisecrack opinions on the talk page.
Goebbels
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Joseph goebbels was always a small, sickley child. All of his features were small, the doctors at first thought he was a female because his dick was so small that they couldn't see it at first.

Goebbels was born into a jewish bolshevick communist family, with two fathers (one of which had a womb transplant to be able to give birth to goebbels).

Grue
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HurricaneWarning
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ATTENTION: Residents of areas affected by Spider are advised to seek advice and information from local authorities through television and radio, and official weather forecast web sites (links below). Information on an encyclopedia may not be current or applicable to your area.

Do not decide whether to leave your house, shelter or vehicle based on Uncyclopedia information. In fact, do not decide to do anything in your life based on Uncyclopedia information. Except if we tell you to leave the area. Because staying in the path of a 120-mile-per-hour hurricane is beyond DUMB.

Inaccurate
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The author(s) must promptly be executed.[big fat lie] Uncyclopedia contains no inaccuracies.[big fat lie]
This template may also be inaccurate.[big fat lie]
OMG! Inaccuracy in Uncyclopedia?!???
Incoherent
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Incomprehensible
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Incomprehensible.png Ŧĥīš ǻŕţǐċĺə įŝ ţǿŧāľŀŷ ìñçôмþŕéħėʼnşıßľě.
Ÿǿü čǽñ ħëłþ Ǜʼnçýċļöþęđĩä ßŷ ểǻŧıʼnġ ä çåŗǐβöǚ.
Inhuman
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Insane
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Instead
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News-hindie.jpg If you are offended by this article, consider reading [[|this]] instead!


Intermission
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Most of the time is a space, but will turn into fancy space or a VERY long article randomly. Edit it for a full explanation.
Boring articles/user pages.
International
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Jesus Approved
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Jesus Disapproved
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Kansas
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Approved by Kansas Board of Education
Approved by the Kansas State Board of Education
This page meets all criteria and requirements for use as teaching material within the State of Kansas public school system. It consists of facts, not of theories, and students are encouraged to believe it uncritically, and to approach alternatives critically.


All we are is dust in the wind.
Licensed from wikipedia
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The following paragraphs are licensed from Wikipedia – the encyclopedia authored by unpaid miserable losers. Since we've paid a few million dollars to some blood-sucking communist in Florida for these substandard errorful contents, we decide to publish these words in spite of all obvious factual errors.
Limey
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This article was written by limeys and therefore contains many spelling errors including but not limited to: unnecessary "u"s, such as in the limey word "colour," unnecessary "a"s, such as in "paedophile", and the words "Frenchman" and "American" being spelled "wanker." Do not attempt to read this unless you are a limey or a Canadian, as it will shrink your testicles.
List
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Little Article
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Articles that are a good idea but have been written poorly.
MMORPGs
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Martha Stewart Hotlisted Page
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This page has been hotlisted by Martha Stewart.

This could be because:

  • It's both affordable and stylish.
  • It gives advice on how to avoid money loss through stock exchange.
Either way, it's a good thing.
Marty
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Most artful example of ye olde british humour.
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Most artful uses of quotes.
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Most british-friendly articles.
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Most racist pages.
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Needadmin
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Nigga Please
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This article is just plain stupid and/or unbelievable
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Pages that might be for guys only.
No Kiddies
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TV-14.gif This article may not be suitable for all audiences.
This article contains content not suitable for people with the brain of a person under 14 inches (35.5cm) tall or TransVestites.


Pages that might be for grownups only.
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You have nude massages.
New messages joke
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{{New messages joke/comb|new music|diff to penultimate Tamia music shit

Random version of new/nude messages/massages
Practical Joke
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Select the unused space for a secret message!
Offensive
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Use on articles which are Intentionally Offensive.
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In accordance with the OMG U SRS???// act of 2002, all content of this article is to be believed, with no disputes whatsoever. (Hey, you voted for Bush, moron.)
When something is too serious.
Orphan
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Number of Maimings
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DANGER

Blanking or vandalising this page can be deadly ... or worse.
users are currently castrated, paralyzed, and disfigured for daring to edit this page.
If you just got here and are mortally offended by these blatant lies,
please read About Uncyclopedia and the Beginner's Guide,
then go fuck yourself. Seriously, that's a much safer alternative than anything else you have in mind.
Pastel
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Nuvola apps important blue.svg "This article has too many pastel-shaded boxes"
It may be hazardous to your health, if you are a jock.
</noinclude>
Patentsense
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Picture Whore
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use this on articles with too many Images for its size.
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.: WARNING :.
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WARNING!
 
           "Spider" is considered to be a sacred word by the followers of the Leet faith. In order to prevent random numbers being placed all over the place, please do not speak it in front of them.


Satans
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for use with any Satii or other demonic

, diabolical, evil, and/or funny personage.

Salvage
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Secret
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They've found us! Quick, run! Burn the evidence!

STD
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Std2.png

This STD has been canonized by the Pope for its
    

blessed fight against the use of evil condoms.


sexcrime
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shoothim
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Ak47.png
The author of this page is fucking insane. You can help by shooting him.
Template
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Too Gangsta
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Gangsta OD in some of his glory
Gangsta OD decrees this page as Da Bomb and worthy of being cured.
Top secret
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Serious
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This page is possibly too serious to be Uncyclopedic. You can help Uncyclopedia by rewriting it in a more humorous way or moving it to TFAODP.

Serious on
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Serious off
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Shocking
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Shocked umlaut.png This article might be shöcking.
Yöu can help Uncyclöpedia by döing sömething aböut it.
Spoiler
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Endspoiler
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Stinks
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Pine fresh.gif This Template smells funny...

...and has been awarded a pine-scented air freshener.


Parameters:
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scent=pine/vanilla
Stuck
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The writer of this article has become hopelessly, helplessly stuck. If you can lend a hand, give it a push. Or, leave some advice on the talk page.
See other stuck articles in Category:Stuck articles needing a push.
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Stupid
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Category:Stub tag
Stupid Cause
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Subliminal
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TotallyDisputed
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This article is a freak of nature. Please point and laugh at it on its talk page.
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You may have to time travel to experience it.
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UncyclopediA.
Too few templates
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Too many images
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This page ExplosiveDog.png has way too many Cute.jpg images, most of which have Fugly.jpg nothing to do with the article. Please Somalia map.jpg try improving the Henry bus.jpg scripture to picture ratio. Questionmark2.jpg

Eg. articles that sporked all their images from Kitten Huffing.
Notorphan
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This image's parents are not dead!—see [[]]

This image has just been disowned for being naughty. It is either linked via a direct external link or via a text link, part of a random image subroutine, or it is just handy to masturbate to.

Please do not huff this image without verifying that it is really not needed. Contact the original uploader for details.
For text linked images.
Top Secret
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Theydisputed
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for articles to do with Christianity
Uncyclopedia
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Thanks for experimenting with Uncyclopedia. Your alterations to the [[]] article were indeed very informative, but I'm afraid we must huff them. This is because Uncyclopedia is a serious uncyclopedia, and shouldn't be corrupted by that sort of thing. However, you may be interested to know that there is a very similar wiki called Wikipedia that would welcome your comical contributions. This is because Wikipedia is a parody of Uncyclopedia, and welcomes comical content written in good taste. You are welcome to continue editing Uncyclopedia, however if you wish to submit comical content please do so at Wikipedia:Flying Spaghetti Monster instead. Thank you.
Undisputed
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Unintellectual
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Unperson
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The unperson whomever never existed and was a fabrication perpetrated by Emmanuel Goldstein.
Memories of whomever shall be corrected doubleplusgoodwise by Miniluv.
Urkel heart award
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Vanity
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For allowable (maybe) community/forum vanity
Vanity2
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Vanity/Slandanity pages specificly for QVFD. It has been known to be used as a joke template (see: Satan).
Vanity3
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Stop X.png Vanity for deletion
This Non-Notable/Slanderous/Self-Aggrandizing/Slander/Injoke vanity page is (as far as we can tell) NOT allowed under Uncyclopedia Vanity Policies, and has been put on VFD.
Check out this page's entry to vote on its fate.
Vanity/Slandanity pages specificly for regular VFD.
Vanitypage
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Hotness.JPG This is a vanity page.
This page is a shameless example of egotism and is completely worthless. The author is pretty darn hot, though. You have to admit that.
Vegetative
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Violation
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Nuvola apps important.svg It is a violation of federal, state, and/or international law to view this article.
Thus, YOU MAY NOT VIEW THIS ARTICLE. Violators will be punished with instant decapitation and a $20,000 fine.
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Whining
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Nuvola apps important.svg WARNING! Nuvola apps important.svg
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This page contains profuse whining. Proceed with caution.



See also[edit]