User talk:Staircase

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“Uh, I can't quote here, can I? Hehe! I'm naughty!”

“Why no, no you can't.”

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Archive 1. (5/26 - 5/30) - Generic Welcome, Introduction to Pee Review, Adoption, Random chats with Tags, Chedds, and Mahmoosh. Archive 2. (5/30 - 6/3) - Officail PEEING member, UnNews DRAMATHON (Do not read. Seriously don't.), more reviewing, and sig work.


The history of that page you just edited is dominated by just one user. I'm sure you can guess who that user is. For this reason, and to prevent you being banned again, I have reverted the page. There is a whole front-page template for self-promotion; think of UnNews as a portal under the care of someone else. IronLung 03:22, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

Thank you, IronLung. Better safe then sorry, eh? Staircase CUNt 03:23, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
I was just coming here to say that. It's Zim's baby. Doubly bad, you swapped a not your page for a your page. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 03:25, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
Well, it was free to edit... so I just went for it. Staircase CUNt 03:27, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
Okay, well if in doubt again just click the "History" tab at the top of the page to see what the haps are. Most pages aren't locked from established registered users, but there is still a certain code of conduct about some of the projects. IronLung 03:32, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
Alright. I'll make sure to check next time. Staircase CUNt 03:34, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
Stairs, also: don't listen to cheddarwhateverthefuck or Mahmoosh. Please. They're fucking idiots. Just popping in...   Le Cejak <3:59 Jun 03, 2009>
Ok. plus, I'm through with whatever. They still might be ranting along, but I'm done for good. Staircase CUNt 04:00, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
The thing about Cajek is that he's always wrong. It's uncanny (hence his shortlived comic, The Uncanny Cajek). His superpower was "fail". Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 04:11, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
What would my power be? Staircase CUNt 04:12, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
Agoraphobia. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 04:43, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
I said power. Not typical fear. Staircase CUNt 04:44, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
I never said it was a good power. Sheesh! Not all superheroes can be super. Or heroes. You, for instance. You suck. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 05:00, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
If I suck, then who blows? Staircase CUNt 05:24, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
I dunno. <insert name here>? Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 23:32, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

Der Unwehr[edit]

Yes, of course. Just add your name to the membership chart, call dibs on any articles you want to write/rewrite, and add templates to your userpage accordingly. Also, be sure to read the Unwehr page so you know what we're about, n'stuff, although I imagine you did that all already. Looking forward to having you with us. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 13:09, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

Actually, I took the liberty of adding you myself. You are a Soldat, obviously. Add this template where appropriate:
of Der Unwehr

Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:09, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

Hey, thanks, mate. I've already started a rewrite in Astronaut. Staircase CUNt 20:04, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

Thanks steps![edit]

Hamboozoo Lawi Boozoo want to say sank you, ya otta!

You gived your voice to make za interfiew on za front page. So I want to say sank you... Want to see my brobelor? I also take you to za byramids and show you good time, and for you only 10 American dollars. No, wait! Come back! I want money! What do I tell to little Ahmad when he says ya baba, get food?...

Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 21:29 June 3 '09


In your article, you didn't specify very well that the "complete accident" was the topic. And yes, I did mean that one section.

For an image, I would recommend a picture of the scientist. With a funny caption, it may propel the article to featured status. It's Me Bitches! Don't worry, I won't kill you.

Ok, I see what you're saying. Ill try to get a good picture in there, and I'll touch it up a bit. Staircase CUNt 21:42, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
I recommend a guy in his mid-thirties. Also, new sig. ~~Oaktown Holla 20:51, 15 June 2009 (UTC)
I saw. Staircase CUNt 21:02, 15 June 2009 (UTC)
Oh. ~~Oaktown Holla 16:56, 17 June 2009 (UTC)

Go vote[edit]

for my gradado for UotM. Don Puttano cHeDDs User talk:CheddarBBQ 23:18,3June,2009

And if you archive twice a week you're gonna have a shitload of archives. Don Puttano cHeDDs User talk:CheddarBBQ 23:19,3June,2009
You can only vote for one person on UOTM per month. IronLung 00:09, 4 June 2009 (UTC)
Oh, I didn't know Steps had voted. Don Puttano cHeDDs User talk:CheddarBBQ 00:44,4June,2009
Well, I archive every time I hit 30,00 bytes. It depends on how many people talk on my page. Staircase CUNt 00:52, 4 June 2009 (UTC)
That might be kind of quick to archive. After one month, you're gonna have about 10 archives, after your first year, it'll be 120. You might want to archive a little less than every 30,000 Don Puttano cHeDDs User talk:CheddarBBQ 01:15,4June,2009
And I'm gonna copy that floaty thing on the page. Don Puttano cHeDDs User talk:CheddarBBQ 01:18,4June,2009
Go ahead! Note how that is my whole userpage, though. Staircase CUNt 01:24, 4 June 2009 (UTC)


I'm bored so I'm going in again. Tell me if you can make it. Don Puttano cHeDDs User talk:CheddarBBQ 02:16,4June,2009

Ah, as soon as I get on you leave. Staircase CUNt 02:23, 4 June 2009 (UTC)
I hit a wrong button. Don Puttano cHeDDs User talk:CheddarBBQ 02:25,4June,2009
Sure. Staircase CUNt 02:26, 4 June 2009 (UTC)
Sorry it keeps kicking me. I don't know what's going on. Don Puttano cHeDDs User talk:CheddarBBQ 02:29,4June,2009
What browser do you use for chat? Staircase CUNt 02:30, 4 June 2009 (UTC)
Safari. It worked fine before. Don Puttano cHeDDs User talk:CheddarBBQ 11:04,4June,2009

We gotta keep getting onto Un:chat. It's fun. In your time, when do u usually get on it (when I'm there)? Don Puttano cHeDDs User talk:CheddarBBQ 00:32,5June,2009

Well, I can usually go anytime on regular days of the week, cause it's summer. 9 - 2 ish. Staircase CUNt 04:15, 5 June 2009 (UTC)
I don't know when 9-2ish is. What time is it now? Don Puttano cHeDDs User talk:CheddarBBQ 10:52,5June,2009

JOIN ME AGAIN! Don Puttano cHeDDs User talk:CheddarBBQ 01:50,7June,2009


You did improve it some, but it now has typos, red klinks and so froth. Re-adjusting the sentences (shorten some long ones where they cause possible misunderstandings etc) to make stuff relate to other stuff more coherently will also help it a lot. Thanks for the effort but it looks like it needs some work still. -- Random Oranssiviiva.jpg Man 16:57, 4 June 2009 (UTC)

Ok, I'll work on that. Eventually. Staircase CUNt 17:38, 4 June 2009 (UTC)


need any ideas for UnNews--Iwillkillyou333 17:59, 4 June 2009 (UTC)

That would be nice. Staircase CUNt 18:15, 4 June 2009 (UTC)
Ok I got two

1. Scientist finds a talking dog or some kind of animal that can do great stuff like make a cure for AIDS or something like that.

2. A man charged with rape on a famous t.v. star

Hope you like them.--Iwillkillyou333 18:58, 4 June 2009 (UTC)


Well, first your going to have to make some money. Request an account at Central Bank, then once, you get an account, you can find a job at either Central Bank or the Mini-Mart and make some money. I'll make you a coupon to the Mini-Mart, for being interested. Da man360Leave A Message

Ok, thanks. Staircase CUNt 18:16, 4 June 2009 (UTC)

Just in case you thought I forgot...[edit]

I've answered that image request of yours on my talk page. --Dame 19:00, 4 June 2009 (UTC)

Ooh look! A template has appeared![edit]


 Why, thank you for voting for my recently featured article. It's nice to know that you also enjoy laughing at gullible people getting their comeuppance. You're obviously as funny in the head as me!
(Not that you're funny in the head or anything.
Well, you are a bit. But in a good way, I promise!)

Nameable 16:12, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

=) PS, I have also reviewed your article. Twas good, I thought. Nameable ((mumble?)) 11:31, 7 June 2009 (UTC)
IT appears you have code that is leaking on your sig. Staircase CUNt 21:18, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
Fixed it (I hope). I'm no good at code anyway. What did you think of the review? Nameable ((mumble?)) 11:31, 7 June 2009 (UTC)
Not bad. You did an excellent job up at the humour section, but the others you could have gone into a bit more detail. Staircase CUNt 18:29, 7 June 2009 (UTC)


Uploading blatantly infringing works to this website? It's super-illegal. IronLung 21:52, 7 June 2009 (UTC)

It is? I'm just trying to get music to put on my page. Staircase CUNt 21:54, 7 June 2009 (UTC)
Absolutely not. IronLung 21:55, 7 June 2009 (UTC)
So it's not illegal? Is that what you are saying? Staircase CUNt 21:56, 7 June 2009 (UTC)
Ban 3, you're out! Don Puttano cHeDDs User talk:CheddarBBQ 21:56,7June,2009
WEll, er... I don't what's going on. Staircase CUNt 21:57, 7 June 2009 (UTC)
It's totally illegal, and you may well be banned for this. IronLung 21:58, 7 June 2009 (UTC)
Just take it off immediately. Don Puttano cHeDDs User talk:CheddarBBQ 21:58,7June,2009
Ok, ok! I don't want to get banned! I didn't know! Staircase CUNt 22:00, 7 June 2009 (UTC)
It's already on QVFD, now it's in the hands of the banninators. IronLung 22:01, 7 June 2009 (UTC)
Ok, I hope I don't get in trouble. I had no idea! Staircase CUNt 22:01, 7 June 2009 (UTC)
First, everyone back off. The next time anyone who is not an admin threaten with a ban, I'll ban him. A simple message of - this is not approporiate would have been fine. Second, Staircase, apart from the infringement we have the issue of - we're not a hosting company. I'll remove those files. ~ 22:03, 7 June 2009 (UTC)
Ok, thanks, Mordillo. It was an accident. Staircase CUNt 22:04, 7 June 2009 (UTC)
whats going on here? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 22:07 June 7 '09
I was uploading some music files but I guess it's illegal. Staircase CUNt 22:09, 7 June 2009 (UTC)

Hidden page :)[edit]

You found my hidden page!

Because of that awesome feat, you get this award!

Ninjaspinnermedal.gif The Hidden Page Barnstar
I award you the ultimate Hidden Page Barnstar for finding Zheliel's Amazing Hidden Page. Which you, Staircase, found. Amazing.

The la Zhel

Hidden page :)[edit]

You found my hidden page!

Because of that awesome feat, you get this award!

Ninjaspinnermedal.gif The Hidden Page Barnstar
I award you the ultimate Hidden Page Barnstar for finding Zheliel's Amazing Hidden Page. Which you, Staircase, found. Amazing.

The la Zhel

The la Zhel 12:48, 8 June 2009 (UTC)

Things/stuff to do[edit]

Hey stairs, Well, Uncyc was made for reading first and foremost. If you have nothing else to do, read through some special:random or go to template:Unrelatedarticle and read a random featured article. You could rewrite anything you find interesting. You could find pages to huff by going to special:NewPages and reporting the crap to QVFD. Obviously, you could just randomly write stuff, and hope something sticks. You could go to VFHS and vote to feature stuff. You could fuck around in BHOP or the forums. Or you could pracice your reviewing skillzzz in pee review. You could hit up other users for collabs. That's six options, all of which are pretty important things to do to keep uncyc going. What sounds interesting?   Le Cejak <16:51 Jun 08, 2009>

I never knew about the unrelated article template. Souunds fun. Also, this computer is super slow, and it sucks to review withit, so I can scratch that. And I think I've voted for most articles on VFH, there might be a few where I haven't. As for writing, it's the same reason as reviewing. SO I guess I could cruise around the forums, but nothing there ever seems to interest me. Staircase CUNt 16:55, 8 June 2009 (UTC)
Too slow to write? Really? Are you using a typewriter, or some computer from the 1950's? Are you using one of those computers that use vacuum tubes and were as big as gyms? Are you from the past? Were you frozen in ice? Are you a caveman?   Le Cejak <16:58 Jun 08, 2009>
Me Ook. Call me "steps" Me type Me type with rock. Rock type. Ook. Me type Okk Ook Okk. Me Ook. Staircase CUNt 17:03, 8 June 2009 (UTC)
okay STEPS, check out some articles on User:Cajek/HS. Those are the best of the best articles. Every month, we choose our top three featured in that month, right? Well, here they are. All of them. Read. Learn. Write (if you can).   Le Cejak <4:03 Jun 09, 2009>
Ok, thanks! Staircase CUNt 04:06, 9 June 2009 (UTC)

That didn't ease my PMS, on the contrary...[edit]

I am wondering if you have considered the changes to the original article before I started editing it. But thanks for the review. At least I know you hate the same things for which I started editing the article originally, but you didn't add much new to it. Just proves my nip and tuck small edits at a time repairs to the site aren't really appreciated at all. -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Brainwashed to be British and then some. Certifiably MORE British than You. Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 17:38, 8 Jun

Hey Steps[edit]

My Leprechaun article was nommed again. You wanna re-cast your vote? Don Puttano cHeDDs User talk:CheddarBBQ 22:57,10June,2009

Sure. Staircase CUNt 23:17, 10 June 2009 (UTC)
NM. Don Puttano cHeDDs User talk:CheddarBBQ 20:17,11June,2009

Preemptive Thanks[edit]

You're such a cocky bitch. Don Puttano cHeDDs User talk:CheddarBBQ 20:18,11June,2009

I nommed you[edit]

For the Uncyclopedia:Foolitzer Prize for writing the best UnNews articles of the month. Don Puttano cHeDDs User talk:CheddarBBQ 03:27,12June,2009

Really? Well, I better write some more. I'll try to get to some tomorrow, ok? Staircase CUNt 05:42, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

Thank you Mr.Steps...[edit]

Pro sack race.jpg
Thank you ...

... for supporting my recently featured picture.
A baby potato shall be mercilessly sacrificed
in your honour.

- Sonje

--Dame 18:56, 14 June 2009 (UTC)

You adopted Cajek ?[edit]

Whaz that? The la Zhel 05:12, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

Eh, it was something weird. I don't get it, but I'm his adoptee. Staircase CUNt 05:13, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
Staircase taught me everything I know.   Le Cejak <5:23 Jun 16, 2009>
Ya, that's it, that's why he has some thrity features and I have none. Staircase CUNt 05:24, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
YOU'VE ONLY BEEN HERE THREE WEEKS, DAMMIT   Le Cejak <5:26 Jun 16, 2009>
So? Staircase CUNt 05:27, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
Cajek has thrity features? I thought his only feature was Permaban. The la Zhel 04:13, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
He should have one of those. Staircase CUNt 04:16, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
Pity... The la Zhel 07:06, 18 June 2009 (UTC)


But I don't know what to say. Hm. Looking through your edit history, I saw some wikihate going on. Namely, some angry vandals. Who did you piss off? ARE YOU BEING VIGILANT AND REVERTING VANDALISM? HOW DARE YOU? Sir SysRq (talk) 16:00, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

Ya, some vandals were wiping my page clean cause Ikept reverting their vandalism. There's vandals, and there's Cajek, who did a lot of that stuff up at the top. *sigh*. Staircase CUNt 16:23, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
Well, Cajek is just a persistent vandal that we ban all the time but allow to come back because we like fucking with him. I say we just kick his ass out for good, he's obviously not going to reform. Sir SysRq (talk) 16:54, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
Well, that's after I passed aboption. Staircase CUNt 16:58, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
Aboption? Did we start up a new program while I was away? Sir SysRq (talk) 17:10, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
AAN. I'm pretty sure you know. Staircase CUNt 17:11, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
Oh, adoption. I wasn't sure what you meant by "aboption". Yeah, I know all about adoption. I'm kind of an adopter myself. Though most people would take Cajek over me any day. I don't blame 'em, I wish I were adopted by Cajek even though I've been around longer than he has. Sir SysRq (talk) 17:17, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
You should make a sockpuppet account just so you could get adopted by cajek. Staircase CUNt 17:19, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
I actually have a few sockpuppets lying around. Sir SysRq (talk) 17:20, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
Ah, I see. Not really. That could be explained from the cloth tied around my eyes. I'm also banded at the wirsts and mysterious figures dragged me into a car and are speeding me away. Staircase CUNt 17:23, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
If by "mysterious figures" you mean Cajek and I then yes. Sir SysRq (talk) 17:28, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
Well, I'm not sure cause I'm blind folded. Staircase CUNt 17:46, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
Let's keep it that way. Sir SysRq (talk) 18:03, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
Ok! Staircase CUNt 00:44, 19 June 2009 (UTC)


Sorry it took so long the pic you asked for. --Dame 17:01, 20 June 2009 (UTC)

Awesome! Thank you! Staircase CUNt 17:02, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
Haha. That's awesome. Can't wait to see the associated article. Sir SysRq (talk) 18:07, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
Every Jim Carrey Film Ever Made. Not that good, but I'm not that good of a writer. If you want, you can go change some things around and help out the article. However, I request the plot stays the same. It's golden. Staircase CUNt 18:28, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
Golden it is, friend. You may draw some inspiration from this. Sir SysRq (talk) 18:34, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
Ok, I'll give it a read sometime. Staircase CUNt 18:43, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
As for your article, it's a great concept and certainly has potential, but you're not there yet. Let me know when you feel like you're done with it and I'll be more than happy to give it an official review. (I'm sort of a member of PEEING, and I haven't done a review in a while so I need to do one anyways.) Sir SysRq (talk) 19:07, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
Well, I am a member too! But you have like fifty reviews. Staircase CUNt 19:12, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
And a RotM to boot. =D Sir SysRq (talk) 19:27, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
Yeah, sure! Staircase CUNt 20:55, 20 June 2009 (UTC)


Did you forget? ~~Oaktown Holla 04:34, 23 June 2009 (UTC)


Did you forget? ~~Oaktown Holla 04:34, 23 June 2009 (UTC)


Did you forget? ~~Oaktown Holla 04:34, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

Here's a helpful link. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 14:40, 24 June 2009 (UTC)
Sorry, I was off for a week to Catalina. Staircase CUNt 00:42, 28 June 2009 (UTC)
And now you get some more time off - do not add the tag unless you are starting the review at that point. They are not for reserving reviews until you feel like doing them. I said I was gonna start banning people who did that, so now I'm following up on that. Do not let this happen again. --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 10:02, Jul 2


SP-Orian57.jpg I, Orian57, extend my grattitude for (of?) your vote on WotM!

No but seriously, guys. Thanks, it means something to me, more than it should probably.

Thanks esspecially for the nom and also congratulations on your double win! :)    Orian57    Talk   Union pink.jpg 11:27 1 July 2009

You still haven't gotten Mahm00shA a present[edit]

Time's running out. Get to it! Don Puttano cHeDDs User talk:CheddarBBQ 03:45,5July,2009

Er... uh... ok. Staircase CUNt 03:48, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
Nice... present...? Mine was better though. Did you read it? Don Puttano cHeDDs User talk:CheddarBBQ 15:00,5July,2009
Didn't have the time. Do you have anything for me to review? I need to review something. Staircase CUNt 15:03, 5 July 2009 (UTC)

Redirects on QVFD...[edit]

...should be listed as redirects (like {{redirect|User:Staircase/Milky Way}}), not as links to the redirect (like [[:User:Staircase/Milky Way]]). In the former, the redirect will get deleted. In the latter, the page that the redirect redirects to will (potentially). I've mentioned it before, but this is because all admins have dull, empty heads. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 17:30, 5 July 2009 (UTC)

Ok, thank you very much Modus! I'll do that next time I have redirects to delete. Sorry about that! Staircase CUNt 17:33, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
Just remember that we don't make users admins because they're smart or because they pay attention. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 17:48, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
For what reaons then? Staircase CUNt 17:51, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
I haven't the faintest. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 18:01, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
Well of course. What is the size of your brain again? A flea? Staircase CUNt 18:06, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
Probably. I am quite the numbskull. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 18:14, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
As noted by your above average ability to write humour. 18:16, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
Possibly, but like Rain Man I'm shitty at virtually everything else. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 18:28, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
Such as breathing, I assume? Staircase CUNt 18:32, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
Now you're just being ridiculous. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 18:36, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
As are you. Anyhow, how in thw wrold do you write such awesome articles? I just don't get how some people can rip out thirty features like you and others, while other people strive just to get one. Staircase CUNt 18:40, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
Try to keep in mind that we all have to start somewhere (my first edit was this, apparently), that it took ten months here and innumerable edits before I made an original page that "worked", that I've been here since October 2005, and that I've made so many edits that my sandbox alone is one of the most edited pages (or was. I can't see that linked page from where I am, which is not work, and if anyone says I'm not working at work they're a dirty liar!).
Also, keep in mind that you don't see my failures (like the pages that run out of inspiration before they're done, or the finished pages that suck) because they never reach mainspace.
Shorter Modusoperandi: It doesn't just happen. Well, sometimes Sophia throws you a bone and you bang out an awesome page in a day or less, but most of the time the 90/10 perspiration/inspiration ratio is about right. Writing okay is easy, turning okay into awesome is *hard*. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 19:02, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
Ah. Well I'm with Cajek, do you think he is good to hang around with when it comes to writing things? Staircase CUNt 19:16, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
I have no idea. The process of writing is ineffable to me, as except for the idea it's generally unplanned. As such, when it happens it just...happens. Practice, for lack of a better word, helps, but the writer's road has no map. Half the fun is finding out where it leads. The other half, oddly, is strawberries, which are *awesome*. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 19:27, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
Saber's right. You should be a stand up comedian. Staircase CUNt 19:35, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
Naw. I like it here more. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 19:45, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
Yeah, I'm prett sure eveyone would miss you. Staircase CUNt 19:45, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
Worse, I'd have to put on pants. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 19:55, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
Good point. Do you think this has a good idea? I'm no where near done, but I was just wondering if you think it could be a good article when finished. Staircase CUNt 19:56, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
(UnIndenting) It might be better as "Art forger caught". Maybe start serious, with the crime and the charges, but only give away the twist at the end. Try making a police sketch of him in MSP, too. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 20:17, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
Oh wow I remember this conversation.    Orian57    Talk   Union pink.jpg 19:59 5 July 2009

UnBooks:Daddy, There's a Zombie in the Garden[edit]

You said you liked where it was going? It's finished now, is this something you'd vote for on?    Orian57    Talk   Union pink.jpg 19:59 5 July 2009

oh yeah, it's good, but I think it ends sort of abruptly. I would still give it a for, though. Staircase CUNt 20:00, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
I hate endings, I'm really bad at them. But yeah, I put it up for a pee review so I'll see what someone else says, Keep an eye on VFH though, it'll be there soon enough.    Orian57    Talk   Union pink.jpg 20:02 5 July 2009
Ok. Myabe I should Pee Reviw it, I've dedicated myself to reviewing a lot this month. Staircase CUNt 20:07, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
Ok, seems like a good idea. :)    Orian57    Talk   Union pink.jpg 20:10 5 July 2009
If I have the time I will, btu I have to go soon so you'll have to wait. I'm really quite jealous of you at this point. Staircase CUNt 20:13, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
Jealous of me because I'm getting one of your reviews? Or is my devilishy huge cock?    Orian57    Talk   Union pink.jpg 20:16 5 July 2009
No, because every article you write is featureable. Staircase CUNt 02:35, 7 July 2009 (UTC)


For the review. I didnt think you were mean on this either, as this is one of my first articles (along with (Brute)) I have ever written, so I was a complete noob during that time. By the way Look up Obama, "Whatever you Like", thats were I got that from. K Thanks lolz--IwillKILLyou333 Talk If you dare 05:15, 7 July 2009 (UTC)

No problem. I hope you use my advice, You could actually make something of that article. Staircase CUNt 05:16, 7 July 2009 (UTC)

Note the significant lack of whoring in my sig now[edit]

And to think you doubted me --<span class="GenOberst"> PoopyOnTheRadio </span> 06:16, 8 July 2009 (UTC)


Welcome to Uncyclopedia! Here is a template crafted in your honour, sir.

Yay you!

... Because you might be one of those pro people who go to UnBusiness! Yay you again! Two apples for you here! You better help at UnBusiness, because you got these apples.

Yay you indeed. Mr Zhe-mel-talki-signe-singaporel-bling Brute! It's 09:06 ...with savings!

UnDead Thankings[edit]

UnBooksDaddytheresazombieinthegarden.jpg Doug would like to thank you!

For Helping him and little Emily get through the inconvenient zombie apocalypse!

   Orian57    Talk   Union pink.jpg 15:06 14 July 2009

wow review[edit]

thanks for the warcraft review, stairs. i've got some work to do, and i'm eager to get down to it. out of curiousity, are you a WoW-er? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 18:15, 14 July 2009 (UTC)

That shit? Runescape is so much better.    Orian57    Talk   Union pink.jpg 18:16 14 July 2009
No, I've never played. Maybe that's why I didn't find it all that funny :P Anyhow, you really could make it great, seeing your other articles. Staircase CUNt 00:52, 15 July 2009 (UTC)
I used to play, for like 2 months. It's very fun, but too expensive. I played using a friend's game, and named my centaur-thing CheddarBBQ. Don Puttano cHeDDs User talk:CheddarBBQ 01:14,15July,2009
Typical Cheddar BBQ. Staircase CUNt 01:15, 15 July 2009 (UTC)

Fantasy Football[edit]

Would you be interested? —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 00:30, 19 July 2009 (UTC)

Of course! Staircase CUNt 00:39, 19 July 2009 (UTC)

My Birthday[edit]

Would you be interested? 17YEARSOFcHeDDaR 14:49,21July,2009

Perhaps. Depends if in the mood or not, you know? Staircase CUNt 14:56, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
no, I don't know. I'm always in the mood for my birthday. 17YEARSOFcHeDDaR 16:13,21July,2009
Well, in that case, um..... it depends if I want to write a story or not. Staircase CUNt 16:15, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
But you're a writer! That's what you do! Make it an UnNews if you want. Or whip something nice up in MS Paint. 17YEARSOFcHeDDaR 16:19,21July,2009
Well, uh, I haven't made an UnNews in such a long time it's unbelievable. The last time I made one was before my dad left. Also, I'm not that much of a wrietr. My articles are mediocre. Which reminds me, I'm looking for opinions on this. What do you think thus far? Anyhow, I could do something in MS Paint. Staircase CUNt 16:23, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
You're articles are mediocre? Did you read my AFI? Anyways, I'm not looking for gold. And what's that about your dad? 17YEARSOFcHeDDaR 16:26,21July,2009
Cajek. Staircase CUNt 16:29, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
Oh, so your adoptive dad. Okay. Wait, Cajek left? 17YEARSOFcHeDDaR 17:30,21July,2009
Sort of. He drops by every once in a while, makes an edit or two, and then splits. Look on my page. Staircase CUNt 17:35, 21 July 2009 (UTC)

Belated thanks[edit]

GoldenShower.jpg Rejoice, Staircase! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award
For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

You may be my worst enemy when I'm drunk, but your review of Uncyclopedia Madness was thorough and proper. Good day sir! -- [sire] EMC [TALK] 03:34, 23 July 2009 (UTC)

Thank you to the highest extent! That's my first Golden Shower! Staircase CUNt 03:38, 23 July 2009 (UTC)


It's going on now. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 13:43, 23 July 2009 (UTC)

Alright. I'll be sure to go when it's my turn. Staircase CUNt 15:41, 23 July 2009 (UTC)


ThinkerToilet.jpg The article UnNews:Sub-par apocalypse disappoints many has been reviewed by PuppyOnTheRadio(talk)
Version as at 24 July 2009 PEE review

And could you please move the images of rape.gif. They make it a bitch to get in here and edit/add new section? <span class="GenOberst"> PoopyOnTheRadio </span>t 08:07, 24/07/2009

Fantasy Football[edit]

When do you plan on making a team on Yahoo!? 17YEARSOFcHeDDaR 04:16,25July,2009

MAKE A DAMN TEAM! 17YEARSOFcHeDDaR 03:22,26July,2009
Oops, meant to leave that for LiveLong. 17YEARSOFcHeDDaR 03:24,26July,2009
I NO APPRECIATING YOUR INSULTZ. ~~Oaktown Holla 05:54, 27 July 2009 (UTC)
Then make a team. 17YEARSOFcHeDDaR 12:42,27July,2009



You're on clock. Tom Brady is still up for grabs, by the way. ~~Oaktown Holla 16:13, 25 July 2009 (UTC)


You're on clock. Tom Brady is still up for grabs, by the way. ~~Oaktown Holla 16:13, 25 July 2009 (UTC)


You're on clock. Tom Brady is still up for grabs, by the way. ~~Oaktown Holla 16:13, 25 July 2009 (UTC)

Sorry about that, I clicked save three times. ~~Oaktown Holla 16:14, 25 July 2009 (UTC)
Tom Brady sucks. 17YEARSOFcHeDDaR 17:42,25July,2009
High Five, cHEDDAR! also you up again mah homie. ~~Oaktown Holla 04:51, 27 July 2009 (UTC)

And now I've picked. You're up again. And John Brady is still on the board!!! Woody On Fire! Wood burning.gifTalking Woody Stalking Woody 01:06, 26 July 2009 (UTC)

Hey Steps, look like we're gonna be up against each other in Week 1. 17YEARSOFcHeDDaR 03:25,26July,2009
And you're going to lose, sucka. Staircase CUNt 03:32, 26 July 2009 (UTC)
Bring it on. Step off bitch! get it "step" off? lol 17YEARSOFcHeDDaR 03:42,26July,2009
Um... I don't get it. Staircase CUNt 03:45, 26 July 2009 (UTC)
Staircase, steps, step off, ya know, vertical incline humor. 17YEARSOFcHeDDaR 03:48,26July,2009
Humor? Vertical? Step? Am I missing something? Where am I? What am I? Is that a fish? Staircase CUNt 04:00, 26 July 2009 (UTC)
Yes. Yes it is. 17YEARSOFcHeDDaR 15:41,26July,2009


I will try and improve Corn Flakes at some point in the near future, I promise! I may even do it now... Nameable mumble? (UnScr:PWotM) 15:31, 27 July 2009 (UTC)

thats good, because I really enjoyed it. If you ever want some help, feel free to ask me, I'd love to help. Staircase CUNt 15:31, 27 July 2009 (UTC)


OK - I don't know the english terms for most of what is wrong, and if I pointed them out one by one, I could just as well correct them myself. I'll try to pick one or two for samples, just a sec. If you rewrite this into a real good one, and it fails front page, it'll be on science portal front page next or right after that. Remind me if you don't see it there. -- Random Oranssiviiva.jpg Man 12:21, 28 July 2009 (UTC)

All right - start with typos. There are a few. Astronaut's stomach is probably used as a womb, not a fetus. Um. Just go through it critically and you will find things to correct in it. -- Random Oranssiviiva.jpg Man 12:27, 28 July 2009 (UTC)

One more time...[edit]

*Insert another Daft Punk reference* It's your turn again....Around the World.... Woody On Fire! Wood burning.gifTalking Woody Stalking Woody 18:58, 29 July 2009 (UTC)

GO ALREADY!!!!! 17YEARSOFcHeDDaR 01:38,30July,2009


Playwright of the Month badge.png

Orian57 would like to thank you!

For voting him Playwright of the Month! He appreciates it and is also uncertain about why he is speaking in third person - he hates that. Seriously though, thanks, I'll almost certainly do more in the future.

And to you esspecially, for the nom! :)    Orian57    Talk   Union pink.jpg 22:01 1 August 2009

you're up[edit]

~~Oaktown Holla 22:56, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

Move yo ass already! 17YEARSOFcHeDDaR 15:57,4August,2009
Too late. bitch. 17YEARSOFcHeDDaR 23:21,4August,2009

I just peed[edit]

Thought I'd best tell you so you can go clean it up--El Sid, the lazy oneparlez-vous franglais? 21:03, 4 August 2009 (UTC)

Someone mention pee?[edit]

There you go, there should be no more unsightly spillages on your page! Don't stop peeing now! --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 13:39, Aug 6

Thanks! Staircase CUNt 15:04, 6 August 2009 (UTC)


Thank you for voting. And ... oh, dear, that rainbow text's given me a headache. Need ... aspirin ... Sir MacMania GUN 16:01, 7 August 2009 (UTC)


That's draftspeak for "GO!"--<<>> 20:40, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

Pit defense was already picked 5 picks ago. Try again.--<<>> 23:51, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
Your turn again.--<<>> 14:40, 8 August 2009 (UTC)


I'm free to help with Astronaut if you want? --El Sid, the lazy oneparlez-vous franglais? 23:52, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

GO ahead. Staircase CUNt 23:56, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
Ok, yeah sorry about the capitals, how do you want to go about it?--El Sid, the lazy oneparlez-vous franglais? 23:57, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
Erm, well you mentioned some ideas, and I would like to see where you would put them and how you would put them, namely an interview/newspaper. My article trys to keep a general encyclopediac tone, so if you can manage to fit those in I would love to see how and would keep it. Staircase CUNt 00:00, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
OK, I'll add it to my list of contributions and start working when I have more specific ideas, is that OK? I hope I haven't been rude in the past or anything btw, I'll try and come up with some details tomorrow, working around the theme you have set, perhaps send it over to RadicalX if we want to get a proper newspaper article in there. --El Sid, the lazy oneparlez-vous franglais? 00:06, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
You haven't come off as rude at all, actually you've been really helpful, hence the Golden Shower. And yeah, that sojnds great. Staircase CUNt 00:10, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

Your Pick[edit]

You're up. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:34, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

Wrong person. Staircase CUNt 16:35, 8 August 2009 (UTC)


Hi there, I've been looking over astronaut and considering subtley changing some parts of the concept. I have already changed the intro slightly to accomodate the changes I suggested about the definitions, but I was also thinking that it might work better and be more effective if the astronauts-are-dumb thing was still true, yet their public image was still as heros. So in this way we can justify NASA choosing them as part of a government project to "deal with the homeless problem" but they can still fulfill their role as "American heroes" in the public image. We can therefore make it absurd-yet-believable and thoroughly logical. Astronauts remain dumb, but the only people who know this are the Government and certain conspiracy theorists and enlightened human rights, activists. What do you think? I just feel it needs a more encyclopaedic tone and to mix more views together, rather than hammering in the same point. This way news stories will be able to be created and contrasts of interviews would be more effective, it would have a definite human element to it. --El Sid, the lazy oneparlez-vous franglais? 15:26, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

That is, of course, if you want to change the heart of the concept at all. It can stay as it is if you like and we can refine it on the basic ironic premise without adding much, I just feel it has more chance of being featured if we add a bit more depth to it. Also, if you do keep it as it is, the only thing I would suggest is a cut down in length really. --El Sid, the lazy oneparlez-vous franglais? 15:32, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
I really like your idea. But how could we make it really work? Staircase CUNt 23:54, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
OH, sorry, now I'm starting to get it. Silly me. Yeah, sounds good. Staircase CUNt 23:57, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
Thanks, if you want to leave your version as it is now, I can take a copy and place it on my user page to experiment with? That way if something goes horribly wrong we don't need to worry too much. --El Sid, the lazy oneparlez-vous franglais? 00:03, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
Yeah, that sounds like a good plan. We could both screw around with it there, and we can't forget to add Sonje's AMAZING pic. Staircase CUNt 00:05, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
Yup, I was thinking we could use that as a controversial picture that was leaked onto the internet by some anonymous NASA member and threatened to unleash the reality of astronauts onto the world, but... something.... stopped it (I haven't worked this bit out yet) --El Sid, the lazy oneparlez-vous franglais? 00:10, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
I think we should put that as the first image, personally, and have it as "an unrealeased photo of an astronaut" or something, something that only NASA should hold onto. Then later we could... just get on IRC and we'll talk there. --Staircase CUNt 00:13, 11 August 2009 (UTC)

A Mr Sherlock Holmes is at the door, sir[edit]

Thank you for voting for this article! Sir MacMania GUN[05:43 11 Aug 2009]


You're up. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 07:49, 11 August 2009 (UTC)

You're up once more. If you are around and about. Woody On Fire! Wood burning.gifTalking Woody Stalking Woody 18:14, 12 August 2009 (UTC)