User talk:SysRq

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Please, no more headers just titled "IC". I've got like five of them right now and it's very confusing.




Dang, missed an opportunity again. I'd rather rape someone than do the washing up that's looming in the kitchen... User:Luvvy/sig2 08:08, 19 Apr
hey, could anybody archive my talk page for me? Cuz, you know, Im leaving for a couple of months, finals at college and shit and I want a talk page for stuff that-- uh, what am trying to explain? Hey luvvy, just archive it, then RAEP it, for all I care. Cheese rs User:Mahm00shA/sig2 09:09, 19 April 2009 (UTC)
You lazy bastard... It only takes a couple of minutes... User:Luvvy/sig2 09:19, 19 Apr
I am on my mobile phone browser and it is lame.. Really lame. So will you please archive it and rape it? I would certainly love being raped by Luvvy, what a pleasure! Kidding, hehe ;) User:Mahm00shA/sig2 09:46, 19 April 2009 (UTC)
Mobile phone browsers suck. Actually, they suck bad. As in deep throat bad. I'd rather pull my 8" laptop out of my handbag and sit down in a nice, comfy wifi hotspot... *ahems* ...what will you offer me in exchange for it? User:Luvvy/sig2 12:57, 19 Apr
Aye, netbooks are where it's at. If only Apple would realize that. (Although my sources tell me we may be due for a 10" netbook Mac by Q3. Shh.) Until then, I'll be stuck with either Fedora on a netbook or a Hackintosh. Oh wait, I'm getting a MacBook Pro in June. Then never mind. Fuck netbooks. Yay MPBs. User:SysRq/sig3 15:57, 19 April 2009 (UTC)
Mine isn't a "netbook" per se. It runs Windows XP :D User:Luvvy/sig2 16:36, 19 Apr
8" laptop running XP? Still sounds like a netbook to me. User:SysRq/sig3 16:37, 19 April 2009 (UTC)
What I classify as a "netbook" is in fact a machine that runs Linux and has an 8-16GB flash drive. Mine actually has enough "oomph!" to be of use on the road. :) User:Luvvy/sig2 17:17, 19 Apr
yay, opera mini roxx0r!!11!!!12! Nokia r00lz! Now go archive my talk page and, as a reward, RAEP IT!! zomg1!!lolz!! F'ghthangh Cthulu User:Mahm00shA/sig2 16:05, 20 April 2009 (UTC)

I'd be happy to...[edit]

...take a look at that thing of yours, but it'll be a while. I have *ahem* three final papers to write this week (I sort of put those off...yeah...), so between that, class, and various long-planned social/academic engagements (Bill Nye is coming to my college to talk! Fuckin' Bill Nye! The Science Guy! Ahhhh!) I won't have much time to do much of anything. When I get a good hunk of time (and if your UnBook is still up for PEE) I'll give it a look, though. Promise. User:Guildensternenstein/sig 02:10, 20 April 2009 (UTC)

Aye, thanks anyways buddy. User:SysRq/sig3 18:38, 20 April 2009 (UTC)

I...I think it's time...[edit]

I am ready to become an undaddy. Do you think I am ready to begin helping new users? If so could you tell me how to become an adopter? User:Tagstit/sig 01:39, 22 April 2009 (UTC)

I think you're very ready to be an UnDaddy, Tags. Just find your way over to UN:AAN and add yourself to the list. Simple as that. User:SysRq/sig3 21:47, 22 April 2009 (UTC)
Oh, how painlessly simple. Why thank you soon to be grandpops. User:Tagstit/sig 23:05, 22 April 2009 (UTC)
You may want to check here once you've got a young'un of your own. I took the liberty of adding your name. User:SysRq/sig3 13:37, 23 April 2009 (UTC)


UnNews:"Sexter" abused, possibly raped, I like it and think it is done. Orian helped out a lot. If you think so, I will go nom it (unless you'd like to) and we will all be just hunky-dory. User:Tagstit/sig 04:24, 22 April 2009 (UTC)

I'll just but in and say that it was good, has a good concept but it isn't feature material now. Only part that made me really laugh was the an "lol" part. The old people misunderstanding technology thing is getting a bit cliche though. It could be a feature with some work, like clearing up the ending and adding a few more funny throw away lines here and there. It doesn't really sound like a real news article now. --User:DJ Irreverent/sig 04:33, 22 April 2009 (UTC)
Oh hey DJ, well I recently changed it from a balanced point of view, like a news report, to a more biased and forcful point of view, as suggested by Orian. I think it is more of a concept joke though than a collection of throw away lines. It is "an imaginary crime getting an imaginary punishment and all the hoo-ha in between" to quote Orian. I think the ending could probably use a cleanup though. I have just finished it and the ending may have been rushed. User:Tagstit/sig 04:45, 22 April 2009 (UTC)
Well it depends if you want to take the more serious satirical route that Orian is suggesting, then you definately need to add more detail and make it sound more formal, names/places/dates and such. Still putting in a few good lines won't hurt. Either way you've got a good base but the article doesn't feel finished. The end is very confusing. --User:DJ Irreverent/sig 04:52, 22 April 2009 (UTC)
The end is the part I was most worried about. I will put in dates and times too, as that seems life a very good idea. Any ending problems in particular? User:Tagstit/sig 04:56, 22 April 2009 (UTC)
Yeah, you're right. Basically I'm going to repeat everything that DJI said. It needs to be formalized a bit, needs to be formatted, spellchecked, grammar checked, etc. The concept is great. The text conversations were great, I laughed. It's a good idea and I haven't seen too many people do articles on this so it's fresh. Just stick with it and maybe even get it peed on so that you get some more indepth analysis. I'd do it myself but I've got a 10 page English paper to write and it's due tomorrow so I'm thinking I should go start it or something. User:SysRq/sig3 21:51, 22 April 2009 (UTC)
Okily dokily, I will go ahead and start doing a bit more, than getting it peed on. Thanks for your guys' help. I will be back to whore this later. User:Tagstit/sig 23:06, 22 April 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 23rd April 09[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png 22:30, Apr 23


Just so it won't be a blatant lie anymore User:Mahm00shA/sig3 08:39, 24 April 2009 (UTC)

Alas, I have no sense of humor. User:SysRq/sig3 19:40, 24 April 2009 (UTC)
no problem. I was high on hash when I did it, anyway User:Mahm00shA/sig3 09:22, 25 April 2009 (UTC)
And the funny thing is, I believe you. User:SysRq/sig3 18:33, 26 April 2009 (UTC)


Hey, Alex, you know that flash fiction you wrote? I read a book recently and I just figured out that it reminded me alot of your story (and vice versa). Here's the link if you're interested in buying it, there's probably a synopsis there too but bassically your "zombie-type-thingies" were alot like the "zombie-type-thingies" from your story. And I'd imagine that you're story would fit nicely into the aftermath of this one. Anyway I just thought I'd point it out to you, and I will read your 90's novel as soon as I can, bit bussy tonight though. See you around! :D User:Orian57/sig7 20:21 24 April 2009

Oh and just to clarify, it is set in an unamed British city, no plausibly about it. Fucking self-centered American Amazon. User:Orian57/sig7 20:37 24 April 2009
Ah, flash fiction. I remember those days. Perhaps I should get back into that. Or perhaps I should sit on a donut. Thanks, I'll look into this. Also, is your S key a bit sticky? Maybe got some cum under there? User:SysRq/sig3 18:05, 26 April 2009 (UTC)
I don't come on my laptop. however the keyboard is falling apart, that coupled with the fact I can't spell worth a damn means its a wonder that any of you understand what I'm saying. User:Orian57/sig7 18:24 26 April 2009
Ah. Well if you wouldn't mind reading/reviewing my article today I'd appreciate it, I've been getting some mixed feedback from other people that I've shown it to so I'm curious to see what you think. User:SysRq/sig3 18:32, 26 April 2009 (UTC)
Like a proper pee? I can do that. should do them more often anyway. Stay in master UU's good books. User:Orian57/sig7 18:50 26 April 2009


Please check out my new article on VFH! User:Tagstit/sig 14:06, 29 April 2009 (UTC)

Here, try the bite size version[edit]


This one is easier to digest but I still put three links on what should be a simple thank you template.--User:DrStrange/sig 15:28, 29 April 2009 (UTC)

Is it strange that I now live in Waco, TX? User:SysRq/sig3 15:34, 18 June 2009 (UTC)


Hey, can I put myself on hiatus from IC for a while? I know I haven't contributed much yet and am in danger of being kicked out, but real life is getting in the way like the teammates in Left 4 Dead, so I'd be a 3rd 5th 35th wheel against my will. Just to let you know in case you think I'm a talentless lazy ass. User:The-Real-Syko/sig15:38, 30 April 2009 (UTC)

Aren't we all just talentless lazy asses? I thought that was the definition of an uncyclopedian. besides I haven't seen sissy here in a few days. Also I take it you have a 360? you got gears of war 2? User:Orian57/sig7 15:54 30 April 2009
I've got some serious gears of war in my pantsUser:Mahm00shA/sig3 16:49, 30 April 2009 (UTC)
You'd think that, but no, I'm a PS3 man, but word gets around about particular glitches. User:The-Real-Syko/sig 17:05, 1 May 2009 (UTC)
Ah right, never mind, I just thought that Left 4 Dead was a 360 only. And which game we talking about for glitches? cos gears can actually be pretty bad for them. User:Orian57/sig7 17:22 1 May 2009
It is 360 only, you just hear about these things. =P User:The-Real-Syko/sig20:07, 2 May 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost! 1st Anniversary Special!!![edit]

Hand delivered by User:Dexter111344/sig 22:30, 30 April 2009 (UTC)


hiatus? what's all this, then? no worries, i'll hold the IC ship steady while you're gone. i've gone and started to hyper-colonize obama since it's been three weeks and it's not looking too good. come back soon! User:Gerrycheevers/sig 17:30, 1 May 2009 (UTC)

Are you getting yourself a vagina?[edit]

I presume so. And also I wrote something hillarious. Well you'll like it, HowTo:Build the Perfect Sandcastle, so you can take a look at that when you get back from wherever it is you've gone to. User:Orian57/sig7 08:56 3 May 2009

I saw a vagina for 75 dollars on craigslist. Is that the one you're getting. It's so smooth. -RAHB 08:59, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
isnt that a bit too much? User:Mahm00shA/sig3 09:02, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
For your own vagina?! No way, man! I would pay ten times that much for one! -RAHB 09:04, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
yeah, but why pay less when you can pay more? Or was it the other way round? Anyway, here you can get yourself a vagina for a little as 40 trillion zimbabwean dollars. User:Mahm00shA/sig3 09:26, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
or one vietnamese dong User:Mahm00shA/sig3 09:28, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
A dong for a vagina. Seems an equal trade to me. -RAHB 19:48, 3 May 2009 (UTC)

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost is proud to present its 1st Anniversary Special[edit]

Hand-delivered by Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 18:48, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

Welcome back?[edit]

So, is that the comeback? User:Mahm00shA/sig4 00:57, 10 May '09

No. June 5th is the comeback. This is just the "antagonize Template:U when I happen to have some free time" thingy. Back to English homework! User:SysRq/sig3 01:00, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
Fine.. goodbye til then, pal. And good luck with your school work :) User:Mahm00shA/sig4 01:04, 10 May '09

LEDs are the way of the future![edit]

Just saying. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 11:12, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

I completely agree. User:Under user/lsig 14:56, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
Oh so you have time for this nonsense but not me? That speeks volumes, that does. User:Orian57/sig7 14:58 11 May 2009
Yeah, 'cuz that took aaaaages. --User:Under user/sig3 14:59, May 11
I don't care how long it took -- this conversation isn't even new! /Sniff! :'( User:Orian57/sig7 15:02 11 May 2009
Those sig stealing scoundrels with their teas and scones...User:Mordillo/uusig 15:05, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

I Have a New Article[edit]

read it if you have time. Also the choice of name was entirely coincidental. Nothing to do with you at all. User:Orian57/sig7 14:16 11 May 2009

Now on VFH for your pleasure. User:Orian57/sig7 15:25 12 May 2009


and since I am your son, and you made an edit today, you should give me a present or something. User:Tagstit/sig2 20:41, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

Your present is this edit, treasure it. Wish I could hang around, but I'm off to Englishland and then a band concert. Meh. 24 days until graduation. User:SysRq/sig3 20:43, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
Thanks pops, looking forward to your return! User:Tagstit/sig2 20:45, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
24 days till we can run away together. :swoon: -User:Optimuschris/sig21:56, 12 May
Graduating doesn't make you smarter than me. I'm plenty smart, and learnt all I need to know by using these here fists! Congratulations though. --Concernedresident 00:00, 22 May 2009 (UTC)


User:Orian57/VFH thanks 7

User:Orian57/sig7 09:33 14 May 2009

UnSignpost May 14th[edit]

Hand-delivered by Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 18:55, 15 May 2009 (UTC)


User:Orian57/VFH thanks 8

Much apreciated nom, too. :D User:Orian57/sig7 14:19 18 May 2009

UnSignpost May 21st[edit]

Brought to you by Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 22:33, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

Hey Faggot![edit]

Or alternatively, hi there! I noticed your name was listed on IC. I also noticed that our latest project is in need of some help. So I put two and two together and realized I should ask Modus. When he told me to get bent, I immediately thought of you. I'm setting an arbitrary deadline for this one at next week Saturday, so if sometime in the next week you can tear yourself away from your porn collection and maybe contribute a line or two it'd be appreciated. We're counting on you, <insert name here>! -User:Optimuschris/sig18:41, 23 May Dictated; not read.

Also; hurry back you big faggot. -User:Optimuschris/sig18:41, 23 May

Yeah, Girl Pants, go vote for my article I rely on your vote, like democrats rely on the fag vote. User:Orian57/sig7 18:45 23 May 2009

UnSignpost! May 28th, 2009[edit]


The only newspaper to be delivered by User:Dexter111344/sig 19:38, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost June 4th, 2009[edit]

Delievered by Saberwolf116 01:52, 5 June 2009 (UTC)

An important announcement from your friends at IC.[edit]

Did you know *snicker*...Ahem. Did you know that SYSRQ IS TEH GHEYZORS? LOLOLOL!

Also, we've decided to keep our Colonization projects contained to Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization/project for your watchlisting convenience. Put it in your watchlist and try to remember to add a cuss word or something once in a while eh?

Also also, I heard that Gerry likes the smell of his own farts.

Have fun Colonizers and let's be careful out there. -User:Optimuschris/sig15:08, 6 Jun

I actually meant to type "anus". -User:Optimuschris/sig15:21, 6 Jun

Tommorow doesn't mean ten days.[edit]

Where teh fuck are you? I haven't seen you anywhere in ages, not xbox not skype not here. Come back! And vote for my articles in teh top of the month. User:Orian57/sig7 20:48 11 June 2009

UnSignpost June 11th/12th/whatever[edit]

I think I'm going crazy. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 13:15, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

Okay, here I am[edit]

Just sayin I'm back and all. Like, for good. Or at least for as long as I want. I'm off to go and try to re-assimilate as best I can. User:SysRq/sig3 02:14, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

When I saw you're edit I was just so exited I actually farted! Also go vote for me! That's what you're good for isn't it? User:Orian57/sig8 02:20 18 June 2009
Ah, hello there friend, good to see you again. I will indeed vote for your article. (I see that was enough to get you on Skype.) Also, congratulations on the fart. User:SysRq/sig3 02:22, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
Hello, I don't know you and you don't know me, but I've read your articles and they are amazing. Staircase CUNt 02:28, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
How sweet of you to say. I'm looking at your userpage and it appears you have brought Cajek back so you're cool with me. Nice to meet you, Staircase. User:SysRq/sig3 02:31, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
Hello, I know you and you know me, but I've read your articles and they are shit. User:Dexter111344/sig 02:33, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
Same to you. The UnBook about the T-Rex is unbelievably funny. Staircase CUNt 02:33, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
How dickish of you to say. Go to hell, Dex. User:SysRq/sig3 02:37, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
And thank you, Staircase, T-Rex was a proud moment for me. User:SysRq/sig3 02:37, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
Love you too, Sys. Also Stair, I was just playing with Sys. User:Dexter111344/sig 02:38, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
I know, I made my edit without knowing yours was there. Staircase CUNt 02:39, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
Kay. Just don't want any misunderstandings. User:Dexter111344/sig 02:40, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
Plus, I know you would be joking cause his articles rock. Staircase CUNt 02:41, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! User:SysRq/sig3 02:41, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
Fight fite feit! Staircase CUNt 02:42, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
Ah-HA! I knew you couldn't hide forever! Dude, it's damn good to see you. Now make me laugh. --User:Under user/sig3 08:17, Jun 18
I HAFTA BUY NEW KRAYONZ CUZ I BROAKD TEH WUNS I ALREDY GOT CUZ I CULLER TEW HARD LAWLAWLAWL. (That's totally your kind of humor, right?) User:SysRq/sig3 15:46, 18 June 2009 (UTC)


It's sysrq! I've been back for a while! Got any ideas for articles, or are you gonna troll around like me? User:Cajek/sig2

I was thinking we get to work on Palpatine! But I may just troll around for a few days, you know, get my footing again. User:SysRq/sig3 03:31, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
Yeah, I'm done having grand plans for articles. I just write 'em randomly now. Palpatine, you say? I remember "rewriting" that piece of crap. I'll keep tabs on it, because I gave up on that a while ago. Let's troll! User:Cajek/sig2
WOO. (Also, we had a plan for Palpatine that was really funny, I'll dig it up.) User:SysRq/sig3 03:41, 18 June 2009 (UTC)


Welcome back, fucker! User:Mahm00shA/sig4 08:18 June 18 '09

Ah yes, my favorite Egyptian faggot. Good to see you, asshole. User:SysRq/sig3 15:33, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
Ah, you dont know how much I missed your Anus. Good to see you back, fag :) User:Mahm00shA/sig4 16:00 June 18 '09
I had sex with your dog. User:SysRq/sig3 16:01, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
I had sex with your ants User:Mahm00shA/sig4 16:04 June 18 '09
I don't have ants. User:SysRq/sig3 16:05, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
I burning ur ants!!lol1!shift+1! User:Mahm00shA/sig4 16:09 June 18 '09
Your sig randomizer is throwing me off. User:SysRq/sig3 16:16, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
Good to know that I'm pissing you off.. Also, I gotta go now, got some anatomy exam to study for. Also also, anus. *strictly homo manhug* User:Mahm00shA/sig4 16:20 June 18 '09
Haha. Anatomy. User:SysRq/sig3 16:54, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
Yea, the prof sits with a fucking corpse infront of him, and puts his hands in its guts, pulls out a bone or some piece of flesh and says Tell me, son, whats this called, whats its function, whats its nerve supply? and shit like that. Dude, its awesome, all that gore has killed our hearts and here we are, reckess motherfucking medical students. User:Mahm00shA/sig4 18:15 June 18 '09


You're back! Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 13:07, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

Indeed I am, David! Good to see you buddy. User:SysRq/sig3 15:47, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
David? How did you know my name? Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 23:09, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

yeat another heading just titled 'IC'[edit]

welcome back, fearless leader. since you sailed off, we've colonized Barack Obama, Wikipedia, and Singapore. barack was stagnant, so i ended up doing a lot of it myself after three weeks. wikipedia turned out pretty good. singapore was really unexpected, because nobody really voted, but we managed to turn a hideously long, terrible article into a decent, readable, adequate one. singapore is up for review now, and we're working on You. we're still in the ideas stage, but i think we can get rolling today or tomorrow. i have some general concerns, we can discuss them at your leisure. good to have you back! User:Gerrycheevers/sig 13:18, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

Aye, seems like some really good things have been happening in my absence. I'm glad that I had a good number two that was willing to step up and make sure things got done. I can't thank you enough, Ger. I will be around IC more and will probably be resuming my duties as Admiral of the Fleet as of right now. As for these general concerns of yours, would you like to discuss them publicly (as on, on my talk page) or should we head to IRC or Skype? I leave that to your discretion. Hope to hear from you soon, I should be online all day. User:SysRq/sig3 15:31, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
nope, nothing shady, just wanted to make sure you were back and getting going before pummeling you with non-critical stuff. firstly i'd like to recognize Opty, as i had a small period of inactivity about two weeks back due to internets trouble, and he performed beautifully. secondly, i think we need to revisit the articles which we colonize, or else we run the risk of alienating potential reviewers. we've gotten some great advice, but as a group we don't go back and act on it sometimes. so maybe we could encourage colonizers to return to old conquests like barack and wikipedia and use the review to continue improving the article. thirdly, we've moved the current colonization to here: Uncyclopedia:Imperial_Colonization/project, for watchlisting convenience, and we will perform all actual colonization there, then move it to the designated place. i think that's it for now. User:Gerrycheevers/sig 15:47, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
All of these are very good things. Chris has always been one of my good Uncyc buddies and I've always known him as a hard worker so it doesn't surprise me that he would be good at this whole IC thing. Revisiting articles is a great idea, and you're right, we don't want to alienate reviewers and make them think that any advice they give on an IC article won't be followed. Perhaps we should work that into the system somehow. A separate team for revising articles? Eh, I'm just talking out of my ass. Finally, putting all IC projects in the same place is great. I haven't looked at the rule page recently, but I expect that it will need updating to reflect this new development. Thanks again! User:SysRq/sig3 15:53, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
one more thing: tagstit doesn't seem to be answering his phone, and the points for singapore haven't been tabulated. do i have permission to go ahead and do that? User:Gerrycheevers/sig 12:29, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

Sissy!!!! ^_^[edit]

I missed you! --Dame 16:21, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

I didn't. Why couldn't you have stayed away you homo? -User:Optimuschris/sig16:45, 18 Jun
Because I missed Sonje too much. User:SysRq/sig3 16:51, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
That makes sense. Seriously though, it's good to have you back. -User:Optimuschris/sig16:54, 18 Jun
He has a funny shaped head though. Only a mother could love that head. User:Orian57/sig8 16:55 18 June 2009
Hey, shut the fuck up. I told you about my cerebral fluid condition in confidence. User:SysRq/sig3 16:56, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
I for one love his head... -User:Optimuschris/sig16:57, 18 Jun
And I never made any refrence to your, tragically ficticious, brain disorder. User:Orian57/sig8 16:58 18 June 2009
Oh dammit, I guess I spilled the beans on that one. Er, spilled the cerebral fluid. User:SysRq/sig3 17:15, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
All over my fancy shirt that glows in the dark and makes me look like a skelington. Fuck you, desiesed wanker. User:Orian57/sig8 17:18 18 June 2009
Wow, that's very unpleasant to think about. User:SysRq/sig3 17:19, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
No, you're unpleasant to think about. You and your diseased head. User:Orian57/sig8 17:30 18 June 2009
STOPPIT STOPPIT STOPPIT STOPPIT User:SysRq/sig3 17:34, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
Can we please focus! Or rather can we take the focus away from Sissy's head and back towards my issues with abandonment. --Dame 00:23, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
And yet, something tells me those two things may be correlated. User:SysRq/sig3 00:25, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
I assure you the only thing correlated to your head is Orian :P --Dame 00:28, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
I think i made it clear that I want nothing to do with that abomination. User:Orian57/sig8 00:29 19 June 2009
Ah. Well, in that's a Snuggie. Go curl up on the couch and watch Lifetime, you woman. User:SysRq/sig3 00:30, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
Sissy, go vote for my shit on VFH, got two articles there now. User:Orian57/sig8 00:29 19 June 2009
Because you edit conflicted me, I will do no such thing. User:SysRq/sig3 00:30, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
Girl pants. User:Orian57/sig8 00:32 19 June 2009
Boy penis. User:SysRq/sig3 00:33, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
Don't be such a hater. User:Orian57/sig8 00:36 19 June 2009
Don't be such a penis. User:SysRq/sig3 00:50, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
You mean anus. Now go vote. User:Orian57/sig8 00:53 19 June 2009

I need to ask you a very important question:[edit]

What was the name of that Chinese (or similar) emperor bloke who killed quite a few people? User:Orian57/sig8 03:15 19 June 2009

Emperor Pâlipitan? (can't resist a whore) User:Cajek/sig2
No, I'm pretty sure he was real. Don't think I dreamed him... Doesn't matter too much now anyway decided against Writing (nor can I) that particular joke. Thanks though! User:Orian57/sig8 03:49 19 June 2009
Pol Pot. I dunno if that's who you're thinking of, I just like to say that name. -User:Optimuschris/sig22:25, 19 Jun
the guy who did the tianimeniminimen square massacre thing? User:Mahm00shA/sig4 22:58 June 19 '09
Yes, because Pol Pot was totally from China. Orian, I'm afraid I can't help you. User:SysRq/sig3 23:05, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
China, Korea, what's the fucking difference anyway? Oh, wait! I got it! It's Ghengis Khan! -User:Optimuschris/sig23:07, 19 Jun
thats mongolia User:Mahm00shA/sig4 23:08 June 19 '09
or was it salt lake city? User:Mahm00shA/sig4 23:10 June 19 '09
Chairman Mao Zedong? --Dame 23:11, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
Actually, the Mongolian Empire stretched across quite a big portion of Asia. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 23:14, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
holy fuck, thats the third edit conflict in two minutes User:Mahm00shA/sig4 23:18 June 19 '09
That's cause my talk page is where it's at. =] User:SysRq/sig3 23:21, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
How about Qin Shi Huang? Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 23:30, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
I dont really know who orian meant.. I mean many chinese emperors were tyrants, killed people and so forth User:Mahm00shA/sig4 23:32 June 19 '09
Perhaps he meant Yang Shangkun. He was president during the Tiananman protests. But Mao was leader during the cultural revolution. But why? Why is Orian forcing us to use our sparse little brain cells at this ungodly hour? --Dame 23:44, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
Correction: Why is Orian forcing us to use Wikipedia at this ungodly hour? User:SysRq/sig3 23:54, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
I just want to talk. Staircase CUNt 23:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
Please don't interrupt
Just sit back and listen
And I can't face the evening straight
You can offer me escape
Houses move and houses speak
If you take me there you'll get
/me just happened to be listening to that song. User:SysRq/sig3 23:57, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
Ah, the joy of Radiohead. --Dame 23:59, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
I love Radiohead. I think everyone should, too. A Wolf At The Door? Amazing song. I don't see how anyone could not fall in love with that song. User:SysRq/sig3 00:01, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
My guitarist worships the ground they walk on, I was forced to study the entire discography. Now I love them too. 'Climbing up the Walls' is my favourite song. --Dame 00:04, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
That is a great song. Makes me think of late night Halo Wars sessions. Because I often just put OK Computer on repeat while I play Xbox. I also like to bust out the Cheezits and spread peanut butter on my dick for my toothless dog to gnaw on. Ah, how I miss those days. User:SysRq/sig3 00:09, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
Bodysnatchers. Staircase CUNt 00:06, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
Way to edit conflict me, asshole. Although Bodysnatchers is a good song. =] User:SysRq/sig3 00:09, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
I got two. Two edit confilcts. DOn't feel bad. Staircase CUNt 00:12, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
As does the dog, I am sure. Miss those days I mean, not the edit conflicts. Dammit. STOP BEING SO POPULAR SISSY! --Dame 00:14, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
Ya! Stop it! Staircase CUNt 00:15, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
Now I'm listening to that song. =] User:SysRq/sig3 00:17, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
If there were a prize sonje would win it for her anser "Chairman Mao Zedong". Probably, I think that's who I was thinking of. And go vote on Writing, Sissy. User:Orian57/sig8 00:18 20 June 2009
And more importantly, delete that song. Thats the devil's music! O_o --Dame 00:20, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
Oh, sure. Got a fave band, Sissy? Staircase CUNt 00:25, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
I do not. I literally listen to everything from Deftones to Radiohead to Aesop Rock to The Number Twelve Looks Like You to MF Doom to BT to Zao to DJ Tiesto to Tchaikovsky. One might say I am rather eclectic. Also, did Template:U tell you to call me Sissy? User:SysRq/sig3 00:30, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
No, it's just everyone is, so I thought it was ok. Staircase CUNt 00:32, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
That's where you're wrong. Just because a lot of Uncyclopedians do something does not make it right. In fact, usually if a lot of Uncyclopedians are doing something, it would be prudent to avoid doing it, or do the opposite. So, you should probably be calling me Yssis or something. I don't know, who gives a damn. User:SysRq/sig3 00:34, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
I also saw SysReck. Staircase CUNt 00:36, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
I think you mean SisReck. I usually respond to SysRq, Sys, Sissy, SisReck, Alex, or Bison. I can also be summoned with this MagicConch. ($14.99 USD) User:SysRq/sig3 00:41, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
Grrr, don't use my name on Uncyc. Please? User:Orian57/sig8 00:45 20 June 2009
There's nothing wrong, George is a cool name! Staircase CUNt 00:46, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
Perhaps, I'd just prefer Orian on site, OK? User:Orian57/sig8 00:55 20 June 2009
A wise choice. Using your real name on here is REAALLY stupid >_> --Dame 00:59, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
Really? Aw, shit! Staircase CUNt 01:07, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
I only do it to George because he hates it. I'm not sure why, George is a fine name. I started calling him Gorgeous George on Skype and he seems to like that. User:SysRq/sig3 01:09, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
My name is Staircase. I made a dumb mistake. Staircase CUNt 01:11, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
That's a shame. User:SysRq/sig3 01:13, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
Ya, it sucks. Staircase CUNt 01:15, 20 June 2009 (UTC)

I wish I hadn't been lazy when I first joined...[edit]

...So that I actually could have done something, and possibly gotten Noob of the Month. Now I feel un-needed. Either that, or I just needed an excuse to post something.The SOAD Fan (Ryan C.) 15:57, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

You're still welcome here, friend. If you want to write, let's write! User:SysRq/sig3 16:40, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost! June 18th/19th![edit]

You'd think I'd learn that this isn't fun to do... Oh well. User:Dexter111344/sig 19:40, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

I Have Possessed Your Vote[edit]

And for that I am extremely thankful! As is Cajek, I'm sure. :) --User:Todd Lyons/sig 04:48, 20 June 2009 (UTC)

It was quite brilliant. Every once in a while, you have to show up and remind us what an excellent musician/songwriter/lyricist you are and it sickens me. User:SysRq/sig3 04:50, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
You're much too kind. :) I'm actually quite relieved that I haven't completely lost it. It's literally been years since I've sung anything, and I haven't done any audio production until the recent UnNews mp3s I resumed last month. But, I'm glad I took a chance at uploading something new... It actually was just a gift for Cajek, and wasn't supposed to be nominated. :) --User:Todd Lyons/sig 05:06, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
Aw, well that was very sweet of you. If only I had a handsome and talented gentleman suitor to sing me a love song...all I've got is Template:U. User:SysRq/sig3 05:14, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
If I tried to sing you would all go deaf. Staircase CUNt 05:16, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
I've finally got my home studio set up in my new house, except for my mic but that will just take a few seconds. I may start singing for you guys if the fancy strikes me. User:SysRq/sig3 05:19, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
You definitely should. :) --User:Todd Lyons/sig 05:21, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
Well, if you're anything like me, you shouldn't. But then again, I'm a freak. Staircase CUNt 05:33, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
Actually, you can. Staircase CUNt 05:47, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
Just slap on an 'Express' label. Works on my packages. Just think of us as the grains of sand irritating you to produce that pearl. (wiggle wiggle) --User:Todd Lyons/sig 06:35, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
A PEARL IS JUST AN OYSTER POOP User:SysRq/sig3 06:37, 20 June 2009 (UTC)

Moar Feature Thankies[edit]

User:Orian57/VFH thanks 11

User:Orian57/sig8 13:00 22 June 2009

An unimportant announcement from some douchebag at IC.[edit]

Hey dude. Just wanted to drop you a note and let you know that my Grandpa died last Sunday. Understandably, I'm not feeling especially funny right now so my participation in IC will probably be very minimal for the time being. Just wanted you to know I'm not abandoning y'all by any means. -User:Optimuschris/sig16:09, 23 Jun

If you are not joking (and I dont think you are), I feel deeply sorry for you. :( User:Mahm00shA/sig4 16:19 June 23 '09
Dude. All the best Opty. --User:Under user/sig3 17:59, Jun 23
My condolences. User:Orian57/sig8 20:32 23 June 2009
We'll manage somehow, please take all the time you need. Much love, Chris. User:SysRq/sig3 21:11, 23 June 2009 (UTC)
Thanks guise. And I'm glad to hear you'll manage somehow. =D Ta, I needed that. -User:Optimuschris/sig14:20, 25 Jun

Have you voted[edit]

For me on WotM yet? Also what do you think of LazyTown? User:Orian57/sig8 03:40 25 June 2009

You... you... you thing that begins with "W". Haven't you crushed me enough yet? :) --User:Todd Lyons/sig 13:12, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
I have, just moments ago. And I even mentioned how you didn't whore me into doing so. Now you've made me look like a liar. YOU'RE THE LIAR. And no, I have not taken a good look at LazyTown. I will get to that soon. User:SysRq/sig3 03:44, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
Speaking of looking at things, um... Can you checkout my rash? It's starting to turn green. That isn't good, is it? User:Dexter111344/sig 03:46, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
sorry I meant to link User:Orian57/sig8 03:47 25 June 2009
Not THAT green. User:SysRq/sig3 03:48, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

I think hate was a tad harsh[edit]

To be honest I thought we got off on quite a good foot; apparently you feel it was a manky and leprosy infected one. Well, I'm always right when it comes to diseased limbs so you listen to me now. I don't care that you didn't vote for me in Foolitzer, I don't care that you refused to say anything nice to me this morning on IRC, but what I do care about is when you publicly insinuate that we are not having an affair.

I think you need to take a deep breath and rethink your priorities, Mr. ... Or Miss, I haven't quite worked that out yet. ImNotASunbeam 10:42, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

Welcome to Uncyclopedia!
I see that we need to straighten a few things out as far as what actually goes on around here. I can see how to some it is not inherently obvious at first, but there is a certain atmosphere around here that makes Uncyclopedia what it is. Scroll up a bit. OptyC calls me gay all the time. Scroll up more. There's Orian57 calling me girl pants, and there's me calling him a faggot. My point is that we never stop. This is all one big joke. We joke on each other because we're all friends here and, for some reason, we think it's hilarious. It's just how we are. Last night (or this morning, for you Brits) was a pretty typical example of a fun night on IRC. Some of it may have seemed to be at your expense, but for the most part we all joke on each other. So don't think I have anything personal against you, or that I ever mean anything I say. In fact, you can generally assume that ANY Uncyclopedian is kidding whenever he/she says anything.
So welcome to Uncyclopedia! Hopefully you realize that, by me joking around with you, I am actually extending a hand of friendship. Don't worry that said hand has a loogie in it. It's all part of the fun. Cheers! User:SysRq/sig3 16:21, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
Ooo, that's so nice of you. And it's romantic, too, I love romance... Fuck you, shipwreck User:Mahm00shA/sig4 16:32 June 25 '09
Shipwreck? I don't think I've been called that before. I like it, clever. Good job. User:SysRq/sig3 16:35, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
o rly? User:Mahm00shA/sig4 16:37 June 25 '09
I called you God once. Man, was I wrong. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 16:40, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
Especially considering I'm an atheist. User:SysRq/sig3 16:41, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
hey, you're an admiral of her majesty's fleet.. Shipwreck fits you User:Mahm00shA/sig4 16:43 June 25 '09
You're right. That's probably the worst possible nickname for someone in my position. My men have no faith in me now. Thanks a lot. User:SysRq/sig3 16:45, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
vote for me here User:Mahm00shA/sig4 16:47 June 25 '09

Er dude. I wasn't taking it in a bad way. Sheet I need to sort my wording out if it came across that I was offended. I majorly suck at trying to be funny if you didn't get it. Friends? Sunbeam no u Have you been doing your ironing?

Your mom's a friend! User:Dexter111344/sig 18:09, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
Lies. My mum doesn't even have facebook >:( Sunbeam no u Have you been doing your ironing? 18:21, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

I just realised[edit]

This page doesn't have enough me on it. I am therefore going to rectify that matter by posting this comment on it. This comment may not be funny, chucklesome, hilarious or whimsical, but it makes up for that by being from me, which automatically makes it a good thing. Also, this wiki is definitely a better thing with a Sys in it. That needs mentioning too. --User:Under user/sig3 20:09, Jun 25

Wow, I think I just came. You know, cos there's not enough of me here. User:Orian57/sig8 22:51 25 June 2009
There's plenty of Orian in here, enough to kill a horse. But I'm always in want of more UU, you are always welcome here on my talk page. Let's strike up a discussion! Celebrities always die in threes. Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, and now...Michael Jackson! How does this make you feel? Could you be next? User:SysRq/sig3 23:29, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
How is Farrah Fawcett a celebrity? Also, your page seems to be lacking in OptyC. It's the most important Opty you know, much better than OptyA or OptyB. Also also, you're a faggot, but not the good cuddly kind of faggot like Orian. More like the perverted old faggot who makes everybody uncomfortable at Christmas. ♥ OS? -User:Optimuschris/sig14:26, 26 Jun
Ah, way to bring that up, you whore. And of course I'm always in need of some OptyC in my diet. OS? User:SysRq/sig3 02:14, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
What's an Ed McMahon? Is he something to do with wrestling? Also, it would be more interesting if celebrities always died in trees. Discuss. --User:Under user/sig3 11:21, Jun 29
Well it would help determine who was the most famouse out of said three and so who we should invest more time into mourning. Indeed perhaps even who we shouldn't have cared about in the first place. User:Orian57/sig8 11:24 29 June 2009

Hi Gustav[edit]

Hey, are you Template:U? -Template:U 10:33, 28 June 2009 (UTC)

I sure am, er, was. I think that, in the year or so I've been using this account, you're the first to address me as Gustav. Why do you ask? User:SysRq/sig3 16:13, 28 June 2009 (UTC)
I was just browsing through the ancient archives, and well... User:Zheliel/sigz4 09:12, 29 June 2009 (UTC)

UnScripts:Trapped at Sea[edit]

Whaddaya think? User:Orian57/sig8 12:21 28 June 2009

Bump! User:Orian57/sig8 17:35 28 June 2009

You said my talkpage was epic![edit]

So here's an apple. And a cookie. From the cookies of my heart.

Newcookie.gif Zheliel has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.


User:Zheliel/sigz4 09:12, 29 June 2009 (UTC)

Unsignpost! June 25th or 30th[edit]

We're not late you're just high! User:Orian57/sig8 14:22 30 June 2009

Uncyclopedia:Timeline and UN:IC[edit]


Just thought you might be interested that an idea was brought up at Gwax's timeline project for a possible collaboration with UN:IC. MadMax 15:07, 30 June 2009 (UTC)


User:Orian57/WotM thanks

Have you voted for me on WotM yet, fucker? Also where are you? you keep leaving - stay the fuck still! User:Orian57/sig8 12:16 1 July 2009

UnSignpost: July 2nd, 2009[edit]

User:THEDUDEBOT/sig 19:37, 3 July 2009 (UTC)

This is a Giant Ugly Template And it’s yours![edit]

User:Orian57/VFH thanks 12

User:Orian57/sig8 10:57 5 July 2009

Sissy! Where are you?[edit]

My articles need your vote. And you'll also love this, it'll be on VFH soon too. User:Orian57/sig8 03:11 6 July 2009

SISSY! Hello, whats up, go vote for me, ect... :D User:Orian57/sig8 01:31 14 July 2009

Well, it looks as though Uncyc's biggest whore has come back to SysRq's talk page. Staircase CUNt 01:33, 14 July 2009 (UTC)
I know, and he just won't LEAVE! What the eff! User:SysRq/sig3 01:35, 14 July 2009 (UTC)
Srsly!!! Staircase CUNt 01:49, 14 July 2009 (UTC)
i no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! User:SysRq/sig3 01:59, 14 July 2009 (UTC)
it's so dum. y duz he keep trying 2 hore? Staircase CUNt 02:01, 14 July 2009 (UTC)
lol cuz he gay did u kno he a fag User:SysRq/sig3 02:03, 14 July 2009 (UTC)
ya i no. he'll probbly cum on me 2marow Staircase CUNt 02:08, 14 July 2009 (UTC)
lol he cumz all the time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! User:SysRq/sig3 02:13, 14 July 2009 (UTC)
ur so lucky! Staircase CUNt 02:14, 14 July 2009 (UTC)

colonization restart (for the 9th time, i think)[edit]

hey sys, i've made a few minor policy changes for colonization, you can react on the talk page if you so wish. it also appears you've gone away again. will you be back soon? User:Gerrycheevers/sig 18:07, 9 July 2009 (UTC)

cocks. MrN Icons-flag-gb.png 19:23, Jul 9
I hope. I'll take a look when I can. User:SysRq/sig3 23:16, 9 July 2009 (UTC)
Penis. MrN Icons-flag-gb.png 23:30, Jul 9

UnSignpost 9th July 2009[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png 22:47, Jul 9

UnDead Thankings[edit]

User:Orian57/VFH thanks 13

User:Orian57/sig8 15:14 14 July 2009


User:Orian57/VFH thanks 14

User:Orian57/sig8 20:36 15 July 2009

Arr! There be a Thanksplate at Thiry Noughts![edit]

User:Orian57/VFH thanks 15

There a full consecutive hatric. :P User:Orian57/sig8 15:10 16 July 2009

UnSignpost: July 16nd, 2009[edit]

User:THEDUDEBOT/sig 22:22, 16 July 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost: July 23rd, 2009[edit]

This edition is on time, and anyone who tells you differently is lying! User:THEDUDEBOT/sig 03:02, 25 July 2009 (UTC)

You sir[edit]

Are a tremendous faggot. Where the hell are you? -User:Optimuschris/sig15:49, 25 Jul

I second that. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 11:45, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost: July 30th, 2009[edit]

It's on time, you were just high and didn't realize when it got here! User:THEDUDEBOT/sig 02:45, 4 August 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost! August 6th, 2009!! WE BE LATE, Y'ALL!!![edit]

Hand delivered by User:Dexter111344/sig 21:22, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

Several things have come to my attention[edit]

  1. You've not been seen on here for aaaaages
  2. You appear to not be my friend on Facebook any more - is this because I'm not very active on there and don't have anything interesting to say when I am? How shallow of you - for shame! This merits a ban of epic proportions!
  3. Things on this site tend to be at least 2% more fun and amusing when you are on it
  4. So wherever the hell you are and whatever the hell you're doing, I hope it involves getting yourself back on here at some point, if only to see that I've banned your worthless, unfriendly ass!
  5. ???
  6. Somewhat overused in-joke!

--User:Under user/sig3 08:29, Aug 17

Oh he's off doing education n shit. User:Orian57/sig8 08:54 17 August 2009

UnSignpost 13th August 2009. It's not late. You are![edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png 21:15, Aug 18

UnSignpost 20th August, it's not late, your mom is![edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png 11:18, Aug 24

UnSignpost 4th September[edit]

User:Teh pwnerator/sig 16:41, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost Randomber 39th[edit]

Most of the time, please think of the yellow blow-up dolls! Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 02:26, 7 September 2009 (UTC)

Attention Colonizers![edit]

The brief era of peace we've been enjoying has once again been shattered by the IP horde. And since those pot smoking, tree hugging liberal faggots repealed the draft the IC forces are stuck with the likes of you. You are therefore ordered to report to the front lines at once for briefing. Once we have decided our plan of attack, we'll march into battle post haste. You're dismissed SysRq. -User:Optimuschris/sig20:18, 11 Sep

Ah the British and their friendly bigotry. User:Orian57/sig8 20:21 11 September 2009

UnSignpost September 10/17[edit]

Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/17-09-09 This would've gotten here last week, but it's my firs week as paperboy and I got lost. User:Guildensternenstein/sig2 23:42, September 22, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost: September 24th, 2009[edit]

Hand delivered by User:Dexter111344/sig 16:04, September 26, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost: October 1st, 2009[edit]

Late deliver courtesy of User:Dexter111344/sig 20:08, October 5, 2009 (UTC)


Where the feck are you? Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 22:11, 10 October 2009

He's off fecking women in college. That takes up most of his fecking time. His regular time, too. User:Colin "All your base" Heaney/Where the Wild Sigs Are 22:13, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
What a fecker. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 22:18, 10 October 2009
You might have a small cock, but mines smaller. User:Orian57/sig8 23:14 10 October 2009

World's Best Friend Award[edit]

On User:SysRq/World's Best Friend Award it says you only need to meet one of the qualifications to qualify. Is this incorrect? Rabbi Why do I need to provide this?, humble goylem rabbi of the Temple of Narishkayt and rector of The University of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  22:59, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost Sometime October 2009[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png 01:27, Oct 16

UnSignpost 22nd 23rd October 2009[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png 18:20, Oct 23

UnSignpost 29-10-2009[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png 01:43, Nov 3


I've been commissioned by Mooshy to rerererevitalize IC. I'm to be the glorious leader, etc. because Sissy, Gerry, and Opty have all fucked off. So, I have a few general ideas to start with on what to do. First of all, no fucking infighting. What's said by the authority figures goes. This is Imperial Colonization, not Imperial United States Congress. Second, there should be more of a limit on articles for nomination. Somewhere between 5 and 10. We'll never get to all 17 that are up there if people's votes are so scattered. Third, an active recruiting drive. It fits the name. We're going to draft Satirical Soldiers to deal with the bloody natives at those shit articles on IC. This said, I still want to hear all of your opinions on what to do. Either drop me a line on my talk page, or I'm on IRC damn near all day very weekday. So lets get going, Colonizers! User:Colin "All your base" Heaney/Where the Wild Sigs Are 17:02, November 11, 2009 (UTC)


/me runs in shouts an obscure in-joke and runs out again. - [19:01 12 November 2009] User:YesTimeToEdit/sig9

Both of you are not Thinkerer. User:Syndrome/sig 22:05, December 3, 2009 (UTC)


<3 User:Colin "All your base" Heaney/Sig Punk 23:13, December 11, 2009 (UTC)


<3 -User:Optimuschris/sig23:14, 11 Dec

Same as above[edit]

But with an image: Symbol heart vote.svg

Gay, isn't it? Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 23:23, 11 December 2009

UnSignpost Delivery! - December something![edit]

Late deliver courtesy of User:Dexter111344/sig 23:48, December 29, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost January several-days-agoth[edit]

I swore I'd never hand-deliver this again. Here it is. Also, will we ever see your like again? --User:Under user/sig3 09:34, Jan 18

UnSignpost 21th January 2009[edit]

Also, it's Template:U's mum's 60th birthday! 9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png 17:39, Jan 21

Please forgive me my buccaneering[edit]

Also please forgive me for posting the same notice on more than one person's talk page. Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization finally finished its latest effort, Transformers. Actually, it had been on IC for four months and no one objected to a couple notices about it being moved to mainspace. So I asked admin and IC member MrN9000 to move it, which he did, complete with talk page and history, which I greatly appreciated. Then I wondered when someone would update the list at Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization/The Big Board, but saw the note "Tagstit, SysRq, and Gerry are the only ones who need to be editing this template." But sadly, the most recent Uncyclopedia edit by a member of the trilogy was two months ago. MrN9000 basically said if it was OK with active colonizer Optimuschris it was OK with him if I updated the list, which was all I planned to do. But then MrN said "Consider yourself the new director of IC." I really appreciate his help and encouragement, but all I was trying to do was get the list updated, and now I'm afraid I may have unintentionally stepped on some toes. I would be happy to carry this through the next article, if that's not a problem with anyone in IC, but never intended to cause a conflict with anyone. Please let me know if there's a problem here, and what we can do to fix it. You can see the discussions here and there. Thanks! Rabbi Why do I need to provide this?, humble goylem rabbi of the Temple of Narishkayt and rector of The University of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  08:42, January 25, 2010 (UTC)

Semi-official Imperial Colonization[edit]

For once, a short note from me. I'm apparently now running Imperial Colonization. I plan to open it up for nominations for the next colonization on Sunday, 31 January 2010, so will make an official announcement then. In the meantime, I've made some changes, and would love suggestions (see Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization and User:Why do I need to provide this?/Imperial Colonization). Thanks for any help you can give me! Rabbi Why do I need to provide this?, humble goylem rabbi of the Temple of Narishkayt and rector of The University of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  01:51, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 28th January 2010[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png 14:58, Jan 28


Duty Calls! Imperial Colonization has been commandeered! With a shiny new, waterproof coat, we're heading out to sea once again. We need you for our next colonization. You have one week to nominate or vote from right now, Sunday the 31st of January 2010, to Saturday the 6th of February 2010. (See Protocol for how to nominate an article for Colonization. And remember, if you vote for an article that means you intend to help colonize it.) Then starting Sunday, 7 February 2010, we will start colonizing another savage land (i.e., improving whichever article gets the most votes). Come on board and vote or nom now, to the glory of Her Majesty!

EXTRA: Our most recent colonization, Transformers, has just been Pee Reviewed. If you're interested in making improvements, please check out the article and the review. With a little work, we may have another glorious Feature article! Wouldn't that be just spiffy? And remember, if you participate and this does get featured, you get one half feature credit!

For the Glory of Her Majesty and by Order of your Fearful Fearless Leader, Rabbi Why do I need to provide this?, humble goylem rabbi of the Temple of Narishkayt and rector of The University of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  19:27, January 30, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 4th February 2010[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png 15:17, Feb 4


The Bible says God created the world in six days by himself--our crew of talented colonizers can surely recreate an article in a week and a half! Remember, any Colonizer is welcome to work on our current project, which is the Creationism article. But before you begin, check "READ THIS FIRST" at the top. From Sunday, 7 February to Wednesday, 10 February 2010, a hearty crew of brave colonizers plotted a strong course for the article by consensus. We have the beginning of a great colonization, so go forth and colonize to the glory of Her Majesty!

Special Note for Lobsterbacks (i.e. those who signed up but haven't yet worked on a successful colonization). We plan to keep your name on the honored membership list if you make worthwhile contribution to the article or other parts of Imperial Colonization between 31 January 2010 and the end of this project. If your name is removed from the list, you are welcome to reapply when you plan to become active. User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig10 05:04, February 11, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 11th February 2010[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png 13:05, Feb 11

UnSignpost 18th February 2010[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png 23:40, Feb 18

UnSignpost 25th February 2010 (It's not late your mum is)[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png 20:59, Feb 28

Imperial Colonization: Creationism and Batman[edit]

IMPORTANT: If you want to make comments on any part of this message, please post your comments on my talk page. I've sent this notice out to about 40 people, and will likely never see your response if you put it on your talk page. But if you insist on doing it anyway (sigh), please at least start a new section using == Your comments == below my signature and make comments there. This message is set up as a template, so if you try to make edits in this message, it will edit it everywhere, and get me nasty notes from admins.

The seventh day of Creationism[edit]

If you haven't heard the rumour, it's true. The new and improved and absolutely perfect version of Creationism has been created. And because it was so perfect, we got it Pee Reviewed so it could be even more perfect. Post-review edits are being done, and will be completed very soon so our colonized version can replace the current Creationism.

I gave credit on The Big Board to every colonizer who worked on the article (if I somehow missed you, put a note on my talk page). I really appreciate everyone's help; I think we have a great article. If this gets featured, however, I feel that only those who made the more substantial contributions should get co-feature credit. Otherwise, someone could add two words and get 1/2 credit for writing a feature article, which doesn't seem fair. (But note that half a dozen people or more could each get 1/2 credit; that's one of the advantages of being a colonizer as aren't limited by the laws of mathematics). Any opinions on this or anything in this notice are welcome on the IC talk page. Buccaneers traditionally work by group consensus, and I'm all for sharing the blame tradition.

I'm Batman[edit]

Our current colonization is Batman. Writing on it begins now. By consensus built over the past few days, this will feature a psychiatrist talking with Bruce Wayne, a delusional Arkham Asylum mental patient who thinks he is some hero named Batman--or is he delusional? See I'M BATMAN for the guidelines for this article.

Any colonizer is welcome to edit the article! Any non-colonizer who wants to apply is welcome to do so on the Imperial Colonization page. We promise we won't throw you to the sharks. Well, probably not.

The future[edit]

We are taking nominations and votes for our next project. As per previous IC discussions, old nominations which aren't in the lead and which haven't received any recent votes will be removed. Check out the current nominations before they fade into history--but an article removed from the list can certainly be renominated. Nominate and vote on the IC page.

Go forth and colonize! User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig10 03:26, March 4, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 4th March 2010 (your calendar is wrong)[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png 00:15, Mar 6

UnSignpost 11th March 2010[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png 11:07, Mar 12

Imperial Colonization Buccaneer Admiral walking the plank![edit]

IMPORTANT: If you want to make comments on any part of this message, please post your comments on the IC talk page. I've sent this notice out to about 40 people, and will likely never see your response if you put it on your talk page. But if you insist on doing it anyway (sigh), please at least start a new section using == (Your comments) == below my signature, or click the + tab up above, and make comments there. This message is set up as a template, so if you try to make edits in this message, it will edit it everywhere, and get me nasty notes from admins.

Actually, I'm looking for a temporary assistant/permanent successor as head of Imperial Colonization. I got put in charge of IC because I kept bugging a certain admin. I'd say, "Why isn't somebody doing this with IC?" and "Why isn't somebody doing that with IC?" So that admin basically said "Why, you're somebody; go do it" (see discussion here). But as you can see, I took on the position planning to update IC, get it moving again, and see it through one colonization. Well, that happened. IC was updated and reactivated and, thanks to some great colonizers, Creationism was recreated in a spirit of cooperation, was rewritten on deadline, was Pee Reviewed and, as a bonus, was voter-chosen as a feature article within about a day of being nommed. Our current project, Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization/Batman is scheduled to be written by 20 March, and then we'll begin another. IC is moving...and I'm looking for someone to keep it moving. If interested, please post a note on the IC talk page--experienced and successful users only need apply. Ability to say "ARRRRR" like a pirate is not required, but would be nice.

Rabbi Why do I need to provide this?, humble goylem rabbi of the Temple of Narishkayt and rector of The University of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  16:33, March 17, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 18th March 2010 (on time as always)[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png 11:52, Mar 18

Discordianism vote needed quickly and member retirement[edit]

User:Why do I need to provide this?/Discordianism vote Rabbi Why do I need to provide this?, humble goylem rabbi of the Temple of Narishkayt and rector of The University of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  18:04, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 25th March 2010 (hand delivered for added flavour)[edit]

--User:ChiefjusticeDS/sig 22:03, March 25, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 1th April 2010 - Always on time[edit]

PuppyOnTheRadio sig.gif                                                  Friday, 04:44, Apr 2 2010 UTC

UnSignpost 4/8/10 - Oh hi Signpost.[edit]

User:Dexter111344/sig 19:50, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 15/4/10 - Yet another on time delivery.[edit]

--User:ChiefjusticeDS/sig 20:34, April 15, 2010 (UTC)

Vote now for Colonisation[edit]

Hello ladies, gentlemen, and other,

As you may be aware we have now reached the point where April's Colonisation, Discordianism, has been successfully moved to mainspace, and we are currently voting on our colonisation for May.

As I have been press-ganged encouraged strongly to take the reigns of IC, I'm sending this out to remind all current and previous members of IC to vote on next months colonisation. Voting is taking place here as we speak. As of 1st of May I will be announcing the page that will get our tender mercies, so I encourage you to vote - or nominate - now.

Good luck, and may the farce be with you!

PuppyOnTheRadio sig.gif                                                  Tuesday, 03:35, Apr 27 2010 UTC

Discordianism has been added to VFH. Go, read, enjoy, vote. PuppyOnTheRadio sig.gif                                                  Wednesday, 09:45, Apr 28 2010 UTC

Vote now for Colonisation[edit]

Hello ladies, gentlemen, and other,

As you may be aware we have now reached the point where April's Colonisation, Discordianism, has been successfully moved to mainspace, and we are currently voting on our colonisation for May.

As I have been press-ganged encouraged strongly to take the reigns of IC, I'm sending this out to remind all current and previous members of IC to vote on next months colonisation. Voting is taking place here as we speak. As of 1st of May I will be announcing the page that will get our tender mercies, so I encourage you to vote - or nominate - now.

Good luck, and may the farce be with you!

PuppyOnTheRadio sig.gif                                                  Tuesday, 03:35, Apr 27 2010 UTC

Discordianism has been added to VFH. Go, read, enjoy, vote. PuppyOnTheRadio sig.gif                                                  Wednesday, 09:45, Apr 28 2010 UTC

UnSignpost 1 May[edit]

Brought to you by fucking magic. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 10:05, 1 May 2010