User talk:The Great Lung Sphincter of Nebuchadnezzar

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I AM THE GREAT LUNG SHPINCTER OF NEBUCHADNEZZAR! BOW DOWN TO MY RESPIRATORY POWERS!

Oh, and talk to me here (I guess). --The Great Lung Sphincter of Nebuchadnezzar 01:32, 21 March 2009 (UTC)

Contents

[edit] I see we have new blood. Don't make me splatter it across the floor...

Luvvy's a bit paranoid and thinks you're out to get her... No, really she's just a bit unstable... But darn cute once you get to know her... Really, she is...

Hello The Great Lung Sphincter of Nebuchadnezzar, and welcome to Uncyclopedia!

So what's this message all about?

I noticed you have recently joined our community and that you have tried your new toddler feet at making some contributions to our little collection of articles. I really hope you thought a little before acting, since otherwise my Cabal of uncles (and a few aunties) will devour you for breakfast before their early morning vodka.

Anyway, if you have not already, I SERIOUSLY recommend that you read the link below:

Probably the second most important thing for a newcomer is:

- It's not an insult, and it's well worth a look.

If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia, try these:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig.png) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, feel free to ask me on my talk page (if this message has appeared in the last few minutes, I'm probably still on-line, heck, I'm likely glued to my keyboard, for a change), or trolling about in chat. You can also ask an administrator on their talk page or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Browse our list of available mentors, and leave them a message on their talk page.

Again, welcome!  -- ---- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/8/80/Heart_anim.gif Brainwashed to be British and then some. Certifiably MORE British than You. Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 01:28, 21 Mar

[edit] SOTM

Want me to nominate and vote for you? --Docile hippopotamus 07:39, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

You don't really need to ask that question, do you? --The Great Lung Sphincter of Nebuchadnezzar 16:54, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

Rhetorical question. Now vote for yourself. --Docile hippopotamus 23:18, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Your name

How did you come up with your username? Where did you get the word Nebuchadnezzar from? --Docile hippopotamus 08:33, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

He was the single greatest Assyrian king in history. He built the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World. --The Great Lung Sphincter of Nebuchadnezzar 08:38, 29 March 2009 (UTC)
P.S. How did u come up with your name? --The Great Lung Sphincter of Nebuchadnezzar 08:38, 29 March 2009 (UTC)
I thought of the name hippopotamus and came up with docile to make it Docile hippopotamus. It was going to be that or Placid hippopotamus. --Docile hippopotamus 12:38, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
P.S. Where did you come up with the words The Great Lung Sphincter? --Docile hippopotamus 12:38, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
Nebuchadnezzar was king a Babylon, not Assyria. --Mn-z 04:43, September 2, 2009 (UTC)
I stand corrected-ish. ---The Great Lung Sphincter of Nebuchadnezzar 11:24, September 3, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] SotM

I'm sorry, but since you are a sockpuppet of Joe SheA, you are inelligible, and therefore, I have made your nomination inelligible. Thank you. --Absolutely Not Benson 15:21, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Articles

Are you working on anything? --Docile hippopotamus 08:47, 8 April 2009 (UTC)

No. You're like my closest friend acquaintance on the Uncyclopedia. I'll tell you if I am, because I know you'll contribute good shit.--The Great Lung Sphincter of Nebuchadnezzar 12:45, 8 April 2009 (UTC)

[edit] I wrote something

User:Docile hippopotamus/Why?:Be like The Woodburninator (and join his bear army)?. Could you say something about The Woodburninator so I can add it as a quote? --Docile hippopotamus 07:21, 24 April 2009 (UTC)

The Woodburninator eats Japanese people and shits rice. Also, TITS OR GFTO! --The Great Lung Sphincter of Nebuchadnezzar 07:41, 24 April 2009 (UTC)
It has been added. --Docile hippopotamus 08:37, 24 April 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Zombie

Do you consider yourself zombie? Want me to nominate you for Zombie of the Month? --Docile hippopotamus 08:03, 26 April 2009 (UTC)

Sure thing. --The Great Lung Sphincter of Nebuchadnezzar 18:13, 26 April 2009 (UTC)
You won it. I put the award on your user page. --Docile hippopotamus 02:45, 2 May 2009 (UTC)

[edit] UnSignpost quote

I'm writing an UnSignpost to do with Nile and I want a quote from you. The title is Nile and Nile related articles invade Uncyclopedia! and I am writing that they have not invaded Uncyclopedia and it is a hoax. Nile are a death metal band. --Docile hippopotamus 09:42, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

[edit] special delivery

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Your #1 source for Cajek ban jokes!

May 28th, 2009 • Issue 49 • The kind of news your momma warned you about

Going Portal

by UU
Portal BSOD.jpg
Under conditions of great secrecy, a select group of talented volunteers has been slaving away at the wiki-coalface, dedicating themselves to the selfless task of bringing Uncyclopedia a dedicated selection of portal pages. And now their tireless efforts are starting to bear fruit, with the first few being linked on the Main Page by noted twirly star of David, Mordillo. He proudly flagged them up as "new!", until Bradaphraser, more accurately understanding the IQ of the average Uncyclopedian, flagged then as "newd!" instead.

What, some of you may ask, are portal pages? Well, rather than have us explain it laboriously for you (because that sounds like, you know, effort), why not take a look at the following highly sexy portals: Politics; Games; Science; History and Art. And with more to come including the intriguing concept of a Quaint portal from Cajek, one thing's for sure: there has recently been an increase in the number of portals on Uncyclopedia. What?

Nile and Nile related articles invade Uncyclopedia!

by Docile hippopotamus
800px-RusumoFalls2.jpg
Actually, Nile and Nile related articles are not invading Uncyclopedia - we merely wanted to say that to see if you, the reader, were gullible enough to believe it. And you were. More like, "Nile and Nile related articles invade Uncyclopedia hoax!" Let's find out what Sir Edward Mahm00shA, professor of Egyptian history and archaeology at Oxford university exclusively had to say about this: "It is a lie. And Ra saw it was no good. And the band is with me. And they hath uttered not a word about invading Uncyclopedia. Verily! Ra hacketh off the phallus of he who lieth". See now? Undeniable proof from Sir Edward Mahm00shA that the band is chilling with him and have not even mentioned invading Uncyclopedia.

We also asked the wealthy Egyptian and Babylonian antique collector Mr. Great Lung Sphincter of Nebuchadnezzar the 1st to comment and he exclusively replied: "Nile doesn't have any power. Now the Tigris-Euphrates, that's a different story". Not only does this tell us that the Tigris-Euphrates conspiracy theorists are cooler than Nile conspiracists, but that Nile could not invade Uncyclopedia even if they wanted to, and you should be afraid of the Tigris-Euphrates conspiracy theorists - very afraid.

To sum it up, there is no Nile and Nile related articles invasion of Uncyclopedia, just as there is no cabal.

Check out these pages!
From our logs:
  • 19:47, 25 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 88.208.208.132 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Yep, you're really trying, I see. Great, keep the laughs coming, Mr. Funny Man.)
  • 09:37, 25 May 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 209.146.77.35 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You meant "make love to me, she dog")
  • 20:43, 24 May 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 41.154.2.5 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Vandalizing articles, smearing dog shit all over Todd Lyons's car, etc.)
  • 10:48, 23 May 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 210.211.138.192 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (don't blank, I'm running out of insulting ban reasons.)
Biopic of the Week
Killtoddlyons.jpg

Todd Lyons has been on Uncyclopedia forever. No, seriously, he started editing in 2005 - and he's still here! He cut his article writing teeth on Dwight Schultz, and went on to write a further 98 of the buggers, while nailing his first feature with Fecal E.Coli, which started a run of 18.5 front page appearances up to the recent Kinsey Report No. 3: Sexual Behavior in Hamsters. He's been an admin longer than most of our readership have been users. Put together. And he still has all his own teeth, he tells us!

Blatant Filler of the Week

This box here, which is blatant padding so the formatting of this issue looks about right.

Cajek ban of the Week
  • 22:16, 26 May 2009 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Unacceptable username: ...too few recent bans for my liking....)
UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Delivered by --Docile hippopotamus 21:47, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Your back! In black!

Will I mark your return with a nom for FFS? --Docile hippopotamus 03:04, 10 July 2009 (UTC)

Damn straight. --The Great Lung Sphincter of Nebuchadnezzar 03:20, 10 July 2009 (UTC)
You reply very quickly. --Docile hippopotamus 03:33, 10 July 2009 (UTC)

[edit] hey

Get my e-mail? --Docile hippopotamus 07:09, 26 July 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Cartoon physics/Laws of Physics

That's gosh-darned amazing. I am actually amazed we even thought of the same topic.

I think I was looking at the Wikiworld comics and I saw this comic about cartoon physics and hammerspace. Naturally I thought, "Oh, this would make a great article for Uncyc!" I tried looking up cartoon physics and hammerspace, neither of which had an entry under that title. So I work on my article on cartoon physics, five-sixths as a parody of cartoon physics, one-sixth as a parody of string theory. And today, thank goodness, you let me know about your article.

So I read it.

Here are some things I noticed:

  1. You incorporate biophysics into your article. Splendid. I should have done that, but unfortunately the idea of writing such stuff as applied cartoon physics had not occurred to me.
  2. Your history, however, is limited to Warner Bros.
  3. You also pointed me to Laws of Anime Physics, which has similar ideas, except they are for anime.

Here's my proposal:

  1. I'm going to wait for my article to be reviewed first, regardless of whether we collaborate or not. Then we know what parts we salvage from mine, and what parts we don't.
  2. I don't know whether the article should be titled "Cartoon physics" or "Laws of Physics"; you decide. (I'm just calling it cartoon physics because I don't want to confuse it with the actual laws of physics.)
  3. Personally I think we should focus on treating cartoon physics as a theory, without going into much detail about the premise of Looney Tunes (although history, at least from my viewpoint, is fair game). However, it wouldn't hurt to have one or two mentions of ACME.
  4. About the laws themselves: let's organise them into two groups: cartoon physics and applied cartoon physics. 1 and 5 (serving as a corollary to quantum locking, I guess), and some of the principles mentioned in my own article, can go into the former. 6 could too after some generalisation. I'm not sure about 2, though. Everything else could conceivably be applied cartoon physics, like cartoon biophysics or cartoon geophysics. Then, we can expound upon each principle with a paragraph or two, for which we could use some of my explanations.

So, yeah, I'm proposing a sort of rewrite. But you have a different proposal, perhaps? Let me know. http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/9/97/MacManiasig.png Sir MacMania CUN—[23:15 18 Aug 2009]

PS: We definitely need to incorporate extra dimensions in there, too. http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/9/97/MacManiasig.png Sir MacMania CUN—[23:15 18 Aug 2009]
PPS: As well as how invisibility is possible and how some characters stretch as they fall. http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/9/97/MacManiasig.png Sir MacMania CUN—[23:16 18 Aug 2009]
PPPS: Oh, I just noticed your article's up for review as well. Well then, let's wait for both to be reviewed before we collaborate, if this does happen. http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/9/97/MacManiasig.png Sir MacMania CUN—[23:37 18 Aug 2009]
PPPPS: Any chance you could tell me what you thought of my version? http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/9/97/MacManiasig.png Sir MacMania CUN—[23:38 18 Aug 2009]
Invisibility comes at the price of white dotted lines around your silhouette. Also, I like yours.--The Great Lung Sphincter of Nebuchadnezzar 02:24, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
Thank you. And darnit, you're right. I forgot to mention the outlines in my article. Perhaps after the review. http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/9/97/MacManiasig.png Sir MacMania CUN—[02:52 19 Aug 2009]

[edit] UnSignpost 20th August, it's not late, your mom is!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper that WILL win Zombiebaron back, damn it.

Date August 20th, 2009 • Issue 61 • Where no news is normal news

Fantasy Football Draft Finished

By Guildensternenstein
PM1.jpg

After four weeks of red-hot eight-man free fantasy football league draft action, the first Uncyclopedia Fantasy Football League (UFFL) Draft is finally at a close: Uncyclopedia regular and DiBiase's Millions general manager The Woodburninator made Arizona Cardinals' Kicker Neil Rackers Mr. Irrelevant on the afternoon of August 21th, 2009, a mere 26 hours after the previous pick had been made. Afterward, League Commissioner and noted Nazi sympathizer Guildensternenstein promised to make all subsequent Uncyclopedia Fantasy Football League official actions run much more smoothly. He vowed he would "put the drafted players on their respective fantasy teams" at some point "after I'm done writing this story for the UnSignpost and before I go see Inglorious Bastards later tonight."

The draft itself was varied, and picks ranged from the predictable (Vikings' running back Adrian Peterson taken first overall) to the even more predictable (Falcons' running back Michael Turner taken with second overall pick) to the fairly predictable (Drew Brees, Peyton Manning and Tom Brady being the first three quarterbacks taken) to the downright wild. Notable steals include Guildy's nabbing of Chris Johnson in Round 5, Woody's snagging of Aaron Rodgers in Round 6, and Bradaphraser's criminal steal of Dallas tight end Jason Witten. For every good pick, there was a bad one, however: in moves that would make Al Davis proud, LongLiverh3 took Philadelphia's No. 3 receiver while their No. 1 and No. 2 receivers were still on the board, made 30th ranked tight end L.J. Smith the second overall tight end picked, and made Baltimore QB Joe Flacco his backup quarter back while the likes of Matt Schaub, Jay Cutler, Ben Roethlisberger and Eli Manning were still available. LongLiver could not be reached for comment.

New UnSignpost Editor already having trouble filling up space; Falls upon pointless gimmicks, self-references, long article titles to fill void

DogNewspaper.jpg
By The Woodburninator

In a move that has surprised literally 0% of the Uncyclopedia UnSignpost community, the newest UnSignpost editor has already hit a wall in trying to think up new articles for the post. Well, that's not actually true. First he wrote a story trying to beg Zombiebaron to re-subscribe for the post. Then he actually looked at Zombiebaron's userpage to find out that he was actually leaving the site. Needless to say, the presses were called back, and more writing had to be done. Namely, this.

Now, we at the post already know what you are thinking. But, since putting those things into print is outlawed in 36 states, two Canadian provinces, and all of Lithuania, we will instead reference the fact that there have been an awful lot of self-referencing in the UnSignpost lately. For that we are truly sorry. Also, we are sorry for self-referencing our own self-referencing. It is truly a problem that continues to build upon itself. We hope to soon continue with the top notch reporting that is so often found in our hallowed archives. Such as the time we wrote about Spang's village dump conquests, or the time we self-referenced how the UnSignpost's lovable mascot, "Dognewspaper" had not been in the Unsignpost for over nine months. Or that time we wrote about the Fantasy Football Draft being finished. Yes, all of those times were good. And we plan - nae, promise - to, in the very near future, continue bringing those kinds of articles to your doorstep. That is, if you don't mind finding a bit of drool upon it.

Check out these pages!
From our logs:
  • 12:30, 16 August 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 86.133.6.177 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (blanking pages makes baby jesus cry. it also gets your ass banned. maybe one or the other of those things will convince you not to do it again)
  • 10:55, 18 August 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Under user (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 18 days ‎ (so you let me look like an ignorant baffoon for 18 days? What kind of SLA is that?)
  • 11:02, 18 August 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 432 hours ‎ (it's not that long in the grand scheme of things. America happily let George Bush look like an ignorant buffoon for 2 terms of office, for example...)
Biopic of the Week
Nbk sp.JPG

The man from straight out of Kiel, Germany, NaturalBornKieler has been a tremendous addition to Uncyclopedia since joining in June, 2007. While he has had no issues splitting his time between both Uncyclopedia, and the German Uncyclopedia, he has, for some reason, written 10 more features, and some 100 more articles for the German Uncyclopedia than for our beautiful English side. Still, it seems he has found his calling now, working in the big bureaucracy of the Foreign Office. NBK was unable to be reached for comment, as he was unable to get the proper approval from his superiors to be interviewed by a newspaper. Ahhhh. Bureaucracy at work.

Old School Featured Article of the Week
Penguins Under Sea.jpg

The War of 1812, also known as "The War Nobody Wanted to Name", was a ridiculously embarrassing conflict fought between the United States, Great Britain, Canada, and Antarctica. Everybody lost.

Coping with adolescence and struggling to maintain its identity during the Napoleonic Wars, the United States looked to its mother country for guidance. But England, a single parent with a host of colonies to look after, had little time to spend with its gawky young child. Hoping to impose some sort of discipline over its increasingly sullen ward, England resorted to a 10 p.m. curfew.

Old School Old School Box of the Week
Forgotten and so-short-it-possibly-ought-to-be-a-template page of the week

Tact: Oh yeah, that Star Trek uniform is great. Have you ever thought what else you could have done with that time? I mean, like, something useful?

Main Page

Judges Wanted!

The next PLS is impending, and the are still judging slots unfilled. Modusoperandi is looking for users who are opinionated, who think that those opinions matter, and who want to give the benefit of those opinions to many in the form of passing judgement on articles. Enjoy the temporary sensation of power! Impress your friends! Alienate those whose articles you don't favour! Sign up now!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 11:19, Aug 24

[edit] PEEd

ThinkerToilet.jpg The article Laws of Physics has been reviewed by PuppyOnTheRadio(talk)
Version as at 26 August 09 PEE review

The other thing I meant to point out was the grammatical issue with the sentence Every time a hole is moved, there will be a laws of physics! - grammar does need to be a little tidied up. Puppy/Radio VOTE POOF! t 22:38, 26/08/2009

[edit] UnSignpost 4th September

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The newspaper that missed an issue and no-one even noticed.

Date September something-or-other, 2009 • Issue 63 • Nobody reads this bit anyway

Left alone to write the entire UnSignpost, Ape delivers sub-par, mostly self-referential issue

DogNewspaper.jpg
By An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays

"What happened to the signpost?" was the question on literally nobody's lips this week, as Uncyclopedia's favourite newspaper which everyone loves to read but no-one can be bothered to write for took another step on the long slow descent to obscurity. Unfortunately Fortunately, Uncyclopedia's premier Ape-based entertainer, and occasional UnSignpost writer, An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays heroically stepped into the breach to save the flagging newsrag from going the way of the dodo, the Irish Elk, and Mhaille's marriage.

However, our intrepid hero, i.e. me, soon discovered the enormity of the task that lay ahead of him. Boxes had to be filled, interesting and thought-provoking forums had to be discovered and linked to, block logs had to be accessed and trawled for witty comments (unsuccessfully, as it turned out) and this article and presumably another one below it had to be written.

"I never thought it could be this hard," Ape told himself, with sexual innuendo very much intended. "How did Gerrycheevers keep finding stuff to write about? There doesn't really seem to be much happening around here. I mean, I could start whoring my newest articles under the flimsy guise of self-referential irony, but that would be shit really. Who wants to see that? Nobody, that's who."

However, in the absence of anything funny or clever to say, our hero, (who is gradually being revealed to be more of an anti-hero, like Alex in A Clockwork Orange, except with no sense of style) proceeded to do exactly that, shamelessly whoring two articles (which, if anything, evince his decline as a comedy writer), eliciting a universal chorus of groans and boos from all who had the misfortune to read it.

An appeal to the Uncyclopedia community

By An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays

Seriously guys, if you don't want any more shitty issues like this I'm going to need help, or else the signpost is going to die like all the other well-intentioned projects that nobody bothers with. What we need is:

  1. People to do interesting stuff that I can write about.
  2. People to contribute to the signpost.
  3. Fabulous prizes.

Thank you for your time.

Check out these pages!
From our logs:
  • 23:23, September 1, 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.81.7.211 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (THat FAG JUST WOULDN`T STOP SUCKING MY COCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
  • 13:08, September 1, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 131.6.84.110 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (blanking a WCW article? do you know how much of a moron that flags you up as?)
  • 08:32, September 2, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a minor existential crisis ‎ (wait, so we DON'T care about people's gay friends? but I thought that was the whole POINT. what's the use in anything any more? I'm so disillusioned)
  • 09:13, September 2, 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Under user (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a debate ‎ (Are you gay then? You seem gay to me. Not that there's anything wrong with it. Unless you sleep with Orian. Do you? Are you gay then?)
  • 09:26, September 2, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a riposte ‎ (no wai, im not ghey, ive had lodes and lodes of chix. ur just jelus bcos ur mum's ghey. and ur dad. yeah, you herd, their both teh gheyz!)
  • 21:09, September 1, 2009 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.0.51.13 (Talk) with an expiry time of 6 months ‎ (well fuck off then, wanker)
Biopic of the Week

Can't be fucked with this.

Old School Featured Article of The Week

Pot v. Kettle was a landmark case in USA history, giving people the right to make hypocritical statements without fear of retribution. It began as a civil rights case, as Kettle alleged that Pot "did not let [Kettle] work at the Pot's store solely for the color of [his] kitchenware". What made this Supreme Court case unique was the fact that the Pot himself was black, as was the Kettle.

Nostalgia Box

Remember when Gerry was here? Things were so much better back then.


UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Teh PWNerator B=D~ 16:55, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] UnSignpost Randomber 25th

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The only newspaper that Codeine's mum has randomized

Date August 27th, 2009: THE RANDOM ISSUE • Issue 62 • Because the truth is not random enough

Random Headline

By No one in particular

At 5:36 PM, needles recollected a clock. While bread knife was throwing, a bikini suddenly navigated. A barking dog never bites... while he's barking. Joseph Stalin plagiarizes petroglyph! Priest cruises a cob! RAINBOWS WHITE RIGHTS! Absolutely not, squirrel cruises ladles!

Did the bartender earn...

  • ... that Bill Nye is standing behind you about to scream, "Now you know!"?

Nine times out of ten, battle soup Chimychanga Nytrospawn ad hoc electric rough ion-crossbow masturbating baboon Absolutely not Ministry of Truth military conflict a screenful of Lindows Phuc Yutu goulash salad fork 9 giant longbow litigate Peggy Sue.

STFU!!!!11!one

Babe Ruth was a total Bitch!

By The Woodburninator

Look, I'm not saying he wasn't good at baseball! I'm not trying to destroy your great baseball heroes. But let's not kid ourselves here. Babe Ruth was a complete and total bitch. Come on. He couldn't catch the ball. And he whined at the umpires when people called him fat (even though he totally was). And he always talked about how much his feelings were hurt by people trying to buy him a beer.

Signpost Has Gone Officially Bat fuck Insane

By Bad Shroom

Due to frequent lack of interest and excitement, this UnSignpost issue has now gone totally insa-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Genital wart in the left politician! BOMB IRAN! HEIL CAJEK! an elf. shoddy.

Random articles of the week
Random logs:
Random Biopic of the Week

The man, the myth, the user not many people really know. Random pipings was an active user way back in March 2006. Sure, he only had 46 edits. Sure, during his heyday in March, 2006 he only had 32 edits, which most of our more accomplished users can rack up in half an hour. And yes, only 3 of his 6 articles are still around, including the critically acclaimed Health. But, in spite of all that, he has a place in our great wiki here. Because even though he's not around, and his articles are not beloved, everyone can find a niche here, and that's exactly what Random pipings has done. I mean, how many other great men could have made a "Your mom", "Oscar Wilde", and "David Hasslehoff" joke in one fell swoop? Not many I say, and for that, Random pipings, we salute you. Here's to the little guy. Huzzah!

#2C07A9 box

Eat that, asexuals! Random colour! Hahaha!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Absolutely not, please think of the Dr. Robotnik petroglyphs! —Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png KUN SotM UotM 16:44, 7 September 2009

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