User talk:Zim ulator

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The Right and Left Honourable Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator KUN EGA PC FP WotM HA is pleased to welcome you to his humble talk page.

UnNews:ATBF America should declare war on Silly Bandz![edit]

God Almighty! Doesn't read like news! No exclamation points in headline! No policy recommendations in headline! And what the hell is ATBF? Alcohol, Tobacco, Bureaus, and Firearms? Spıke ¬ 19:24 1-Jun-10

ATBF is All Things Bat Fuck. It's a category and everything. My outrage required... nay, demanded the use of an exclamation point! Although, I do like your interpretation of ATBF too... I may use it in future to promote obfuscation. In the meanwhile, just keep thinking you have a grasp on reality, that it is I who am the bat fucked, and not you. Never you. I. Always I. Or is it me? I think it's me! So! des-ne! Avast, me hearty! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 20:08, June 1, 2010 (UTC)

I forgot about that acronym--so soon. Meanwhile, a fine collaboration with which to soil a previously empty talk page before a certain Puppy can come hump it. Spıke ¬ 20:40 1-Jun-10

Don't blame you. Agreed. In sum rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 20:56, June 1, 2010 (UTC)

UnNews:Fluffer allegedly kills 1, hurts 2 with steel toy[edit]

Hi Zim! I have a stupid problem. I tried to save an UnNews story named UnNews:Porn actor allegedly kills 1, hurts 2 with steel dildo and it would not let me save it (spam filter, adult content deal). So I changed the name to UnNews:Fluffer allegedly kills 1, hurts 2 with steel toy and it saved. I thought I did right. Then I noticed it had the old name that had got rejected!? So I checked history and no one did anything. So I checked the new name, and now there are two article – same – with different names. I thought this was rejected: UnNews:Porn actor allegedly kills 1, hurts 2 with steel dildo but it is undated and needs to be deleted. Also, now that UnNews:Porn actor allegedly kills 1, hurts 2 with steel dildo is some-how created it has no date. And spam filter won't let it be saved again to date it. when I tried to add the date it again won't save like before. So if you're going to use this it needs the date, or otherwise just be deleted. OR BEST, leave it as it is (which is post-dated 3 June) and delete UnNews:Porn actor allegedly kills 1, hurts 2 with steel dildo (which is undated). Thanks a million. Much appreciated. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/7/7a/Agnideva-small.jpg http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/0/02/AGT-logo-small.jpg 19:46, Jun 2

All taken care of. I hope I didn't butcher it too much. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 01:05, June 3, 2010 (UTC)

More file maintenance[edit]

Template:FrontPageMediaMenuBeta, the index to UnNews Audio, has been unused since February, when I copied it to a file named Template:RecentUnNewsAudio. Last week I edited your advice to new users (who seem susceptible to a suggestion that they do audios) to use the new name. Would you please delete the old one?

Also, it would make the name more descriptive if you would append "in Sestak-gate" to my UnNews of June 2.

On these last two stories, I've done my own highlight template. I don't plan to make this a habit, but in these two articles, a lot of the front material was straight, to explain the joke rather than tell it, so just grabbing the first three sentences or so for the lead on the Front Page would not have worked. Spıke ¬ 23:22 2-Jun-10

Indeed, never start a conspiracy without bringing along a Master Technician.

One other matter for which I require the Power Sysopic. Dexter asked me to start doing narrations, and I picked The Rescuers to do first. Roman Dog Bird had protected this page [edit=sysop] after my rewrite of it. The move is wise, and is directed against TinkyWinkyIsGay or whatever he decides to call himself next. But it means that I can't put the {{Listen}} template on it. Could you unprotect it overnight? Spıke ¬ 01:20 3-Jun-10

In the interest of not stepping on toes, I will gladly stick it there for you. Give me time-space coordinates and such, and I'll attend to it. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 01:47, June 3, 2010 (UTC)

OK; just insert the following at the start of the file, thanks: Spıke ¬ 01:56 3-Jun-10

Works fine! Thank you. Spıke ¬ 02:10 3-Jun-10

Always a pleasure servicing helping one of my favorite my sockpuppets. Glad to know you're enjoying Oregon. Sometimes I think of them as a mo' betta' Paul Winter Consort. Btw, my wife, sister zim_ulatrix, thinks our banter is wicked amusing. You'll be my cover when I'm out at the all-gay bestiality revue next week. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 02:17, June 3, 2010 (UTC)

Wow, a user's wife thinks something about Uncyclopedia is "amusing." I no longer feel that we have utterly failed. Spıke ¬ 12:33 3-Jun-10

HAH!!! from the two of us rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 22:37, June 3, 2010 (UTC)

UnNews:Britain condemned for rousting refugees[edit]

I have asked Bradaphraser whether this story is humor or merely allegory, and asked him to pick a title that doesn't piggyback off mine. Spıke ¬ 16:11 4-Jun-10 PS--Which he has now done. Spıke ¬ 17:26 4-Jun-10

UnNews:Sweet smoking Messiah returns[edit]

Obviously, no one on VFH took your threat seriously. Spıke ¬ 17:31 4-Jun-10

What threat? rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 17:33, June 4, 2010 (UTC)

And I quote. "If this doesn't get featured, I swear to God , I'll start writing Jesus articles again".... Spıke ¬ 03:08 5-Jun-10

I completely forgot about that. I say many things that contradict one another, or that make no sense in context of other things I've said. Thanks for reminding me, though. I think it's funny. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 14:02, June 5, 2010 (UTC)
Actually, I wrote that article because I'd been wanting to use that pic for months now. rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 14:16, June 5, 2010 (UTC)

I fear that the glitz of animated GIFs on the Front Page could distract from the nuts and bolts of good satire writing--but that one is a classic! I had always wondered what the point was of the heart a-flame in those portraits. Spıke ¬ 14:45 5-Jun-10

Agreed; I use animated gifs sparingly. I don't understand this obsession you have with "good writing" <wink wink, nudge nudge> rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 14:54, June 5, 2010 (UTC)
I like animated gifs! PuppyOnTheRadio sig.gif                                                  Wednesday, 00:23, Jun 9 2010 UTC

Kinda knew that. Spıke ¬ 00:38 9-Jun-10

circle jerk time![edit]

When I first joined Uncyclopedia, you were one of the people I really emulated and looked up to. Hearing the kind of praise I did from you on my work is sincerely like the highest compliment. THANK YOU. Now then, do you have any tissues handy? mrthejazz I don't know if this image is the right size, but I'm trying. (please talk to me i'm lonely.) 06:03, June 8, 2010 (UTC)

hah! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 11:02, June 8, 2010 (UTC)

Search for God[edit]

I'm wondering if this is featurable? I'm thinking if it gets through VFH then to create a dummy page that goes onto the fron page, making it look like a normal entry, but clicking on any of the links within the article (which will all look like either God or Search for God) goes to the actual article. What do you think? PuppyOnTheRadio sig.gif                                                  Wednesday, 00:22, Jun 9 2010 UTC

I say yes, with the caveat that it be made prettier (alignment problems with the check boxes, or is that my FireFox being a dick?), and I'll do it myself. Let's talk more about this. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 01:49, June 9, 2010 (UTC)
I'm not sure what you mean by the alignment problems, but I'll look into it. Thanks. PuppyOnTheRadio sig.gif                                                  Tuesday, 13:23, Jun 15 2010 UTC

UnNews:BP faces whims of American public[edit]

If you elect to feature this on the Front Page, the work for the template is already done in User:SPIKE/Oil Spill.

On my Obama story, the photo of Obama with a Cuban hat and a cigarette is not the one I chose, though it's not bad. {{Lead Article}} also specifies File:Obama.jpg. Is this your doing? My article specifies the same file and gets the laughing Obama. Spıke ¬ 00:22 9-Jun-10

Thanks for saving me a little work.
As for the pic, no it wasn't my doing... I was going to try and figure out what that was all about (magick?) but I haven't been feeling well, and got distracted. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 01:53, June 9, 2010 (UTC)

Promotion[edit]

Hi Zim, the Promotion you bestowed goes to Spike, who certainly deserves it (unless its a typo). Please let me know so I can congratulate him... Cheers! Dude!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/7/7a/Agnideva-small.jpg http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/0/02/AGT-logo-small.jpg 08:50, Jun 9

Naw, I already got one, the epaulettes are right here on my uniform...well, on one shoulder at least. I'm sure the Chief put that notice on the right page and just failed to edit it from the last one he pumped out. Spıke ¬ 13:53 9-Jun-10

Sincere thanks[edit]

Thanks-promotion.jpg

Seriously, this is much appreciated. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/7/7a/Agnideva-small.jpg http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/0/02/AGT-logo-small.jpg 19:54, Jun 9

You are sincerely welcome. <smirk> (can't resist smirking, I'm just that kind of a dick) Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 20:29, June 9, 2010 (UTC)
That thanks pic is now on my user page. Thanks. rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 20:39, June 9, 2010 (UTC)
HAAA!! I love those little bugs walking around. Cool! Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/7/7a/Agnideva-small.jpg http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/0/02/AGT-logo-small.jpg 07:53, Jun 10
Funnybony, could you shoop the text (to something like, "Thanks for a GREAT ARTICLE!") and dump an illustration at Section 3 of the Note From The Chief (UnNews:About)? Spıke ¬ 02:09 10-Jun-10
I like the way this devious plan is developing. What are we doing, anyway? rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 02:30, June 10, 2010 (UTC)
Hi Spike! I'm not sure what you're referring to. Please clue me in... Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/7/7a/Agnideva-small.jpg http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/0/02/AGT-logo-small.jpg 07:53, Jun 10
I was hoping you would prepare another version of this illustration, changing the text to something like: "Tiger, thanks for a Great Article! We offer you the UnNews salute" and dump into the UnNews intro page cited above. Seems like a fitting welcome for new users, in the section where we tell them what happens to crappy articles. Spıke ¬ 14:56 10-Jun-10
Sounds good, SPIKE. It could be useful for a number of things, like maybe my welcoming message. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 16:14, June 10, 2010 (UTC)

UnNews:Scientists dampen World Cup enthusiasm by concluding football really is just 22 men running around a field chasing a ball[edit]

How about retitling this to avoid telling the whole joke in the headline--UnNews:Scientists: Football really is just 22 men chasing a ball? Spıke ¬ 03:27 12-Jun-10

I see your point, I really do. I'm going to leave it because we are not the Onion. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 21:14, June 12, 2010 (UTC)

UnNews:Koreans furious after goal not shown[edit]

A template of this article can be copied from User:SPIKE/Sports Page. Unless you think its high quality would lead readers to think of a certain other humor publication we shall not name. Spıke ¬ 01:32 13-Jun-10

On your comment on VFH: Indeed, no UnNews should require that the reader read the Sources to understand the joke. Sometimes merely looking at the titles of the articles in Sources tells you what the real news was, by way of explaining the parody of it; for this reason I occasionally edit Funnybony, who changes the titles of the source articles.
The above UnNews didn't require that the reader watch a video clip (of whatever length) in order to understand it; I saw that it was humor by reversal of something that happened on British television. Still, the topic of "something I (or the BBC) found quaint as I was watching television" is humor that is not quite in the realm of common/shared experiences, and not our best for featuring. Spıke ¬ 17:24 14-Jun-10
Yeah, and sometimes I mix sloe gin with cough syrup for a more insane buzz. It was barely funny, but then, I am willing to be overridden by a few other UnNews readers and/or writers. In this case, it seems I am with the majority. rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 19:48, June 15, 2010 (UTC)

help?[edit]

Have you the ability to retrieve the email I used to create Macro_bit

I'm not sure what you want, Macro_bit. Are you talking about your user page? That would be here. Also, please sign your posts, so that I don't have to track you down next time. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 19:31, June 15, 2010 (UTC)

UnNews:UnSignpost is getting a facelift, and you can help![edit]

Hey boss. Been thinking about USP, and I've started working on a variant of the previous format. One thing I was wanting to include in here is a topical UnNews story - something that would fit on half an A4 sheet if printed in an easy to read font. Because it will eventually be off-server stuff I'll need to get the author's permission on it as well. Can you think of a stand-out article over the past few weeks that would fit the bill on this? Thanks. PuppyOnTheRadio sig.gif                                                  Tuesday, 04:49, Jun 15 2010 UTC

Looking back over my stuff, UnNews:Mexican president lays out agenda for US is my best in the last month that is short enough for your use. It got five votes for honors; Monika criticized it as insufficiently developed, but that makes it better for you. Spıke ¬ 13:20 15-Jun-10
Christ SPIKE, nothing like shameless self-promotion... and it's not even on your talk page... and nobody solicited your opinion here! You've got Old Man of the Mountain balls, young man!
Actually, that is a pretty good story, Puppy Head. It may suit your purposes perfectly. Nobody has noticed, but my "work" has becoming more bizarre in the past few months; since I live here in my UnNews cave, and don't really talk much with many users, I don't know what the mood is towards my writing; thus I will not push my stories unless somebody knows my writing. SPIKE and Funnybony write some solid stuff, as do a smattering of others.
If you want other kinds of stuff, I can whore you the hundreds of my UnComics, and there are many other new sections that we'd love to have exploited and/or whored. I know, this has been no help. Sorry. rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 16:15, June 15, 2010 (UTC)

Whoring myself to myself[edit]

Dude! You've contributed over two hundred comics to UnNews, and get almost no feedback whatsoever. That's like, every comic every day for the last 8 months or more. You poor bastard, you can't know if they're appreciated, or even read. Somebody should rectify this situation. Note to self: find efficient methods of whoring UnComics. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 19:53, June 15, 2010 (UTC)

Me, I try to read them. That's worth something. Spıke ¬ 20:50 15-Jun-10
I give you credit for the attempt, my friend. rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 20:53, June 15, 2010 (UTC)
I read them sometimes. They give me happy for my happy times.  Happytimes are here!* http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/9/94/Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  18 Jun 2010 ~ 03:48 (UTC)

Move it again, please[edit]

Muzak is a brand name and should have a capital letter. Spıke ¬ 08:23 17-Jun-10

PS--How do you pronounce "Natalie Merchant"? I gotta do an audio of this. Spıke ¬ 08:49 17-Jun-10

I sit corrected, thanks for noticing my error. Pronounciation? You're kidding, right? Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 17:57, June 17, 2010 (UTC)

Dexter came to the rescue and it's now recorded. Spıke ¬ 20:39 17-Jun-10

And podcasted... rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 22:25, June 17, 2010 (UTC)

I thought the podcast was down forever. Spıke ¬ 22:44 17-Jun-10

Almighty Schlafly article and review[edit]

Nice one there, I can help you out with ur article if you want, I'm a uni student IN THE FUCKING UK so as you can imagine I have lots of time on my hands, and some knowledge of Conservapedia (I registered for a laugh). Feel free to retouch my userpage, whatever, I'm not really good with formatting as you might have noticed (new to wikis in general). I will follow developments of ur Assfly article! Now I enjoyed the review about "how to sound like you know stuff"; I was afraid it wouldn't be good material because I thought it was not blatant/direct LOL humour, but rather more subtle. Happy that an admin enjoyed it. I adjusted a few little things, and will work on it a bit more when I have some time, but I'm not familiar with categories, could you help me out on that one? In the hopes it might one day make feature material... Cheers and Godspeed --SonOfPhyllis 16:50, June 18, 2010 (UTC)

Happy to have made you happy. The Andy Schlafly article has been sitting there forever. I really hate the guy and everything he represents, but the muses will not oblige me on this one. Please have at it, if you like, and finish it if you will; I'll help, guide, or smoke a spliff and giggle if required. If you haven't made a pariah of yourself at Conservapedia, like one or two Uncyc users have in the past, maybe we can enlist you as our mole over there.
I will check out your changes, comment, add categories, and anything else I can think of for your article. At the risk of bypassing and undermining the carefully erected vetting system of UnCyclopedia and UnNews, and as acting Editor in Chief and Chief Janitorial Editor of UnNews, I officially invite you to write some UnNews articles. It's about time those smug wankers get a fresh infusion of writing. I may occasionally "spruce up" your user page for a bit, at least until you get your wiki legs. I will not be insulted if you reject anything I do on your behalf, and will possibly ask your permission before doing something. Welcome to Uncyc, glad to have you aboard. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 17:32, June 18, 2010 (UTC)

YourHowTo[edit]

You feel really good about your HowTo, plus its already a feature on HowTo. Would you like a go a VFH? I'll gladly nom it if you don't mind. Can't beat the price of admission. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/7/7a/Agnideva-small.jpg http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/0/02/AGT-logo-small.jpg 23:01, Jun 18

Thanks, that's really nice of you. If you did so, though, I'd hope you judge the article on its own merits, ignoring the fact that I am the next Walter Cronkite and you love me. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 04:07, June 19, 2010 (UTC)
How to do the ZIMBO: It's on to the races at VFH. I tried to fix the red link by adding New Mexico but couldn't edit..then I thought, perhaps, you wanted that damn place to be in red!? Anyway, good luck. It's a hoot!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/7/7a/Agnideva-small.jpg http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/0/02/AGT-logo-small.jpg 10:08, Jun 19
Yeah, the red link is like the imperfection purposefully woven into a Persian rug, except that instead of representing perfection of God and the imperfection of man, I am expressing the Discordian idea of Chaos. I am pleased, amused, and thankful for your nomination. I'm not really an awards whore, but it amuses me that such a stupid (but still funny IMHO) article could possibly become a FA. I also get a warm, fuzzy feeling, like when I smoke purple Kush. Thanks. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 18:42, June 19, 2010 (UTC)

UnNews:Liberals force their own children to smoke the pot, blaspheme‎[edit]

No Jesus, but it is about reefer. Must be one of yours. I changed the caption. Spıke ¬ 12:49 19-Jun-10

Thanks for deigning to improve one of my articles. Great caption. I didn't realize anybody guessed that I use medicinal marijuana. S'true, my doctor is behind it all the way. A friend of mine has the prescription pills (used to be called Marinol) for his pain, and it's working well for him. Unfortunately, my pain requires a narcotic, so that's that. Anyway, I just thought I'd mention that, as much fun as I have playing the stoner, we smoke it medicinally. Of course, you're probably the type of prick who'd say, "suck it up! you can handle pain-induced vomitting, ya fucking woman!", since you're from NH. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 18:48, June 19, 2010 (UTC)

Mercy move[edit]

Obama article... Yeah you are right it's pretty shit. I was hoping to edit it some more! Thanks for moving it, it will become good material, guaranteed! --SonOfPhyllis 14:55, June 20, 2010 (UTC)

Excellent! Now, you are feeling sleepy... Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 14:57, June 20, 2010 (UTC)

10,000[edit]