Uvula

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A healthy woman's uvula

“Men have them, too!”

~ Alicia Keys on Uvulae

The uvula, which guards the entrance to the throat, is a female organ analogous to the hymen but resembling the clitoris in appearance, which guards the entrance to the female's other esophageal organ, the vagina.

Purpose[edit]

The presence of the uvula indicates that the female has not lost her oral virginity, just as the presence of the hymen indicates that she has not lost her vaginal virginity. However, as with the hymen, it is possible, through plastic surgery, to have the uvula "restored," although this operation is rare.

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Function[edit]

The uvula acts as a natural contraceptive, trapping sperm that are ingested, purposefully or by accident, during oral sex, and directing them, via the esophagus, into the stomach, where powerful hydrochloric acid destroys the one-celled gametes.

Erroneous belief about the uvula[edit]

Some females, particularly young ones, falsely believe that the uvula safeguards them from venereal disease. However, there is no scientific evidence that such is the case, and the use of condoms during oral sex is recommended, despite the natural efficacy of the uvula as a spermicide. “Just because stomach acid kills sperm,” Dr. P. Niss advises teens, “doesn’t mean that it kills bacteria and viruses as well.”

Analogous male organ[edit]

Because males have a similar organ, it is sometimes believed that they also have uvulas. However, the possession of an analogous organ is not the same as having the organ itself of which it is an analogue. As Dr. Niss explains, “A clitoris is not a penis.” The male organ is, like the appendix or nipples, considered a useless, vestigial appendage and has not, to date, been named, although it is sometimes referred to as “that snotty little muscle that looks like, but is not, a uvula.”

Uvulitis[edit]

When the mucous membrane surrounding the uvula becomes inflamed (swells) during a condition which is known as uvulitis, it becomes three to five times its normal size, resembling the erect clitoris. Normally, this condition, which resembles vaginitis, the inflammation of the vaginal mucosa, is caused by bacterial infection, such as chlamydia, which can spread to the esophagus, causing acid reflux or indigestion, and should be treated with antibiotics under a doctor’s care. “Again,” Dr. Niss cautions females, “make the guy wear a condom before you engage him in oral intercourse of fellatio.”

References to uvula in popular culture[edit]

The Steven Spielberg movie, Monster House, makes a humorous allusion to the uvula. The animated film’s main characters, Jenny, D. J., and Chowder, enter the mansion to find that its interior resembles a huge mouth. Pointing out a fleshly object suspended from the ceiling, Jenny says, “That must be the uvula,” which prompts Chowder to reply, apparently confusing the uvula with the vulva, “Oh, so it’s a girl house.” Parents, reportedly, have not been amused by this one-liner, preferring that sex education be taught, correctly, in school, rather than facetiously, in an animated film.

The uvula also has an uncredited appearance in the X-rated film, Deep Throat, starring Linda Lovelace.The uvula sucked so much!