Uwe Boll

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Uwe Boll was an article written for the Noob only writing competition 2012!
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Uwe Boll (born April 22, 1974) is a German director, producer, and screenwriter. Now let me give a version just for you, my wittle pwecious Americans. He was a person who made movies, and is from the place where that bad man Hitler lived. Of course, he can no longer come up with original material, so he has made many movied for video games. In any ways, he is like other shamed producer George Lucas for creating his work on a low budget and paying for it through some other company. He is notable for getting "heavyweight" actors, which I think means "You're not fat? Out! Don't come back!" He also uses famous actors in his movies, but seriously everyone does.

Early Life[edit]

The dude was born in some place called Wermelskirchen. Unsurprisingly, he grew up to become a German. He studied at a college where they make sure you smell really nice. Some people says he holds a "doctorate in literature", when in reality, he's not a dChainzoctor. I've never seen a softer author!

When he was like, fucking 10 years old and still used that "suxxor" shit, he already said "I'm going to do movies, bitch!"

In middle school (1988-1990) he always bullied 2 Chainz, a rapper from Collage Park in Georgia (the country, not the state dumb ass).

Early Career[edit]

He basically started with Blackwoods and Heart of America, but nobody even gave a shit about those pieces of crap.

Reception and Reputation[edit]

Everyone hated him.


Every now and then, the man likes to write a bloody book. And, to be honest, these books were fairly..uh..decent.


Yesterday, Bole's grandfather died in World War IV. He once attempted to commit suicide. Unfortunately, he coldn't because of being a zombie.