Vanessa Hudgens

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to Vanessa Hudgens.
Product promotion event for Disney's new adult range of High School Musical merchandise.[1]

To find out more go to

Vanessa del Rio "VaneXXXa Ho-gens" Hudgens (born December 14, 1988) is an Irish, Native American, Filipino, Spanish, and Chinese porn star, actress, dancer and singer. She is mostly known for taking her clothes off when there are cameras around, her puffy nipples and the scary bushmonster in her underpants. She is also known for starring in the popular High School Musical franchise. She was reportedly begged by Disney to film HSM 3 after she refused the role because "[she] wasn't allowed to be naked". She accepted the role when her publicist informed her that she could release some more nude pictures if she wanted to but she had to wait until the High School Musical cheap indie knockoff Bandslam was released. The movie 'flopped' because parents don't want their children to see "that naughtly little chinese/spanish/white/whatever!/mixed up/confused/Zac what the F is wrong?'s beard/lesbian/ girl off the TV.

Early Life[edit]

Hudgens was born in Salinas, California. She spent her seventh-grade at the Orange County High School of the Arts, where she was less than well-received, with former classmates lamenting that "Most people I knew thought she was a total bitch" and "She wasn't very liked. She was just mean in a snotty girl kind of way."[2] Consequently, her parents decided to home-school her, where she was both the most popular girl in her class and valedictorian.


2005-2006: High School Musical[edit]

Disney's 100% cotton and 100% wholesome underwear for girls. This product caused a minor uproar, due to the use of the "Dive in!" and "Troy" designs (the latter being popular among cross-dressers), and (rumoured) 10% polyester.

Hudgens's largest role has been in the Disney Channel movie series High School Musical, starring as Gabriella Montez.

The first High School Musical film was formulated to be a modern day adaptation of Romeo and Juliet, chronicling the forbidden love between two students (Gabriella, and Troy Bolton) in different cliques[3], both of whom were addicted to weed (the title High School Musical, while commonly thought to be nomenclature of last resort, is actually a pun on the experience of being "high"). Gabriella and Troy initially meet at a rehab program, where they take part in a karaoke contest, pledging a new drug-free lifestyle (Start of Something New: "Living in my own world Didn't understand That anything can happen When you take a chance ... I know that something has changed Never felt this way And right here tonight This could be the start Of something new It feels so right ... Now who'd of ever thought that We'd both be here tonight And the world looks so much brighter"[4]). This is revisited in the callbacks (auditions) towards the end of the film, when Gabriella and Troy perform another song about their drug addictions (Breaking Free: "We're soarin', flyin' There's not a star in heaven That we can't reach ... Can you feel it building Like a wave the ocean just can't control"[5]).

In the original ending, as befitting a Shakespearean tragedy, Troy was to have killed Ryan Evans, and then overdosed on Tylenol, having believed Gabriella to be dead; Gabriella would, in turn, shoot herself with Troy's shotgun.That would have been amazing. Regrettably, the MPAA rated that version "PG", disqualifying it from screening on the Disney Channel; the director, Kenny Ortega, was thus forced to cut out this ending entirely. Kenny has hinted that an as-yet unreleased "Director's Cut" will restore the canonical ending.

Despite the concerns regarding the plot, the first High School Musical spawned a hit bedding set [6], a dinnerware collection[7], a stationery product line[8], and even an underwear range for girls, including the very popular "Dive in!" design[9]. This helped Hudgens land in Forbes magazine's list of stars under 21 who have made the most sales from Tupperware co-branding.

In light of the success of merchandise sales for the first High School Musical, a set of High School Musical 2 licensed products was released, followed soon after by a hastily written film of the same name. In this film, Sharpay and Ryan Evans plan to spend the summer at their family's country club, Lava Springs; Gabriella, Troy, and several of the Wildcats plan to break into the club and murder Sharpay and Ryan, in revenge for their bullying over the past year at East High. This is told through a new set of musical numbers, including Bet On It ("I'm not gonna stop. Not gonna stop 'til I get my shot. That's who I am, that is my plan. Am I the type of guy who means what I say? Bet on it, bet on it."[10]), Everyday ("Once in a lifetime means there’s no second chance; so I believe that you and me should grab it while we can ... Make it last forever and never give it back"[11]), and What Time Is It?. The Wildcat's plan, however, is derailed by Sharpay bribing Troy to win him over. Troy's dilemma is that he has to choose between two worlds: his own with the Wildcats and Gabriella; or another, in which Sharpay's family can offer him an easy way to college and other luxuries he has only dreamed about. Troy leans towards the latter, disillusioning Gabriella, who chooses to proceed with the plot alone (Gotta Go My Own Way: "Whenever we try, somehow the plan is always rearranged; It's so hard to say, But I've gotta do what's best for me; You'll be ok."[12]), but fails, thus setting the stage for High School Musical 3.

2006-2007: V[edit]

Covers for different versions of V. Observe that Vanessa smiles only in the bonus track versions - for which royalties are payable to her by Hollywood Records, whereas she receives no payment for sales of the ordinary edition - available exclusively from your local retailer in Tokyo.

Vanessa Hudgens, and fellow High School Musical castmembers Ashley Tisdale and Corbin Bleu, each released albums soon after the movie; MTV observed that it is "an easy transition for the stars ... to go from singing and dancing on the big screen to pop stardom"[13] (The notable exception is Zac Efron, who is illiterate. All his songs and dialogue in the movies were dubbed by Drew Seeley.)

While Tisdale and Bleu's debut albums had unimaginative names (viz. Headstrong and Another Side), Vanessa's is titled V. Hudgens stated that "Well, I named it V because it stands for Vanessa, but it also stands for vapid because my album, in a way, is a mix"[14] (pop, bubblegum pop, teen pop, and dance-pop)[15]. But, hey, judging Vanessa Hudgens, it probably stood for "Vagina".

Due to a small mix-up by the marketing staff at Hollywood Records, the Deluxe Edition of this album was released only in Japan, and the ordinary edition released in English-speaking countries.[16] Consequently, purchasers have generally fallen into two categories: those who understand the (English) lyrics, but not the Japanese packaging, and those who are able to appreciate the box, but spared from the songs.

Here is the tracklist of her album.

  • 1. (Playa) Come fuck with me
  • 2. Ready, Set, Go
  • 3. If U Say 'K (F-U-C-K)
  • 4. Never Cybersex a Girl
  • 5. Let's Fuck
  • 6. Ride
  • 7. Afraid (Of your Mom)
  • 8. Promisenotmythingilikextremehardcoreparties
  • 9. Whatever the Fuck Will Be, que sera sera
  • 10. Rather Tap U
  • 11. I am Hentai Girl
  • 12. I like Hentai Girls
  • 13. Psycho Bitch
  • 14. Lose Your Dick

2007-present: Identified, and other current projects[edit]

While the first two High School Musical installments premiered as Disney Channel Original Movies, the third High School Musical film did not meet the high standards required: the San Francisco Chronicle complained that "the writing has become so bad that it becomes impossible to keep your head in the game ... while the first two movies were at least cohesive, the writing in the third is a disorganized mess"[17]. Some, however, have argued that this is an unfair criticism: veteran film critic John Carmack, for example, has observed that "Story in a Disney Channel Original Movie is like a story in a porn movie. It's expected to be there, but it's not that important." Many fans were also disappointed at what they considered to be misleading advertising with the trailer, which contained excerpts of the song Last Chance ("Yeah, pull up and shoot! ... We gotta show what we're all about ... This is the last chance to make your mark. History will know who we are."[18]): this was widely interpreted to foreshadow Troy finally shooting Ryan Evans, as had been intended in the original High School Musical. In the end, Disney was forced to adopt a theatrical release for High School Musical 3; attendance was propped up through the inclusion of free tickets in High School Musical 2 DVDs, with the profits made through popcorn and Coke sales. To their credit, however, High School Musical 3 did beat Saw V at the box office.[19] This was partly due to the lacklustre singing in Saw V (with the duet between Costas Mandylor [Hoffman] and Tobin Bell [Jigsaw] being particularly poorly received), but it is also a testament to HSM3's appeal to horror movie fans.

On July 1, 2008, Hudgens' second album was released. Originally, the album was to be titled Va, "because it stands for Vanessa, but it also stands for vacuous", but eventually it was named Identified. Reviews for this album were far more favourable than for V: Rolling Stone, for example, commented that "Hudgens has so much diversity in her music. 10 out of the 12 songs on her album are about love!"


Nude scandal[edit]

Vanessa Hudgens, showing her bodily parts after they were surgically altered by the Disney corporation.

Special "Extreme Access Pass" editions of High School Musical: The Concert were to have included prints of Vanessa Hudgens wrapped only in a satin bedsheet, photographed by Annie Leibovitz (best known for her Miley Cyrus photos in Vanity Fair). Unfortunately, they were unable to find any satin bedsheets, but it was decided to continue with the photoshoot anyway.

Controversy erupted after the photo surfaced online, with parents complaining that Vanessa was promoting Eckō footwear and Neutrogena cosmetics, yet did not use them herself. Nonetheless, Vanessa was able to keep her sponsorships, as her contracts only prohibited her from being pictured with competitors' products. Liebovitz later released a statement that "I'm sorry that my portrait of Vanessa has been misinterpreted. The photograph is a simple, classic portrait, shot with very little makeup, and I think it is very beautiful."

Disney also censured Hudgens for not using High School Musical underwear, with a spokesperson stating "Vanessa has apologized for what was obviously a lapse in judgment. We hope she's learned a valuable lesson."[20] However, following the photo leak, sales of High School Musical increased substantially - and not just among the teenage male demographic: one parent exclaimed that "If Vanessa is not in the movie, my daughter would not be so excited to see it"[21]. Consequently, Hudgens was permitted to reprise her role of Gabriella Montez in High School Musical 3.

Vanessa was pleased with the outcome, remarking that "I think that everything happens for a reason and I wouldn’t take back anything I’ve done"[22], and "I think being a woman and being able to show a sexy side is empowering. Being able to show we are comfortable in our skin is a good thing. I totally would pose for a sexy magazine."[23]


In 2008, Hudgens was sued by her former manager, Johnny Vieira, after not receiving any High School Musical Tupperware royalties since the first quarter of 2007. It also transpired that Hudgens had been paid a "second secret undisclosed advance" from her album company, of which he was entitled to $70,000. They subsequently tried unsuccessfully to negotiate a settlement, with Vanessa's father, Greg, telling Vieira that "You won't get a dime out of us", while Vieira asked for slightly more ($27 million).[24][25]

So far, Greg has not denied the existence of the agreement, but has stated that he should not have to pay as he "never really liked Johnny". Expert legal sources have commented that "Greg Hudgens better find himself a lawyer who has a much more solid defense, or else Vanessa Hudgens may find herself having to make 'High School Musical' movies for the rest of time - just to keep up with Johnny Viera’s [sic] steep monetary demands."[26]. A minor complication in Hudgens' case is that, prior to firing Vieira, she had given him a photograph of herself (presumably clothed), signed "Johnny, thank you for everything, without you, I would be nowhere. We will make it BIG… Vanessa Hudgens."[27]

Taking money from the homeless[edit]

1. Hmm, he looks like an easy target ...
2. Vanessa: "My boyfriend is dying of syphilis and I don't have any money. Can I have five dollars?"
    Homeless guy: "Oh, I'm really sorry to hear that. Here, have $20."
3. Shopping with her ill-gotten gains
4. Basking in the joy of having received $20 for free
5. After the sudden realization everything was caught on camera by the paparazzi

On January 14, 2008, Vanessa was spotted in Los Angeles cheating a homeless man out of $20, under the pretense of needing money to pay for her boyfriend's medical treatment. She then hastily fled the scene, and was sighted several hours later at Urban Outfitters in Studio City with a gleeful look, until discovering that it was soon to make front page news on the Los Angeles Times.

A spokesman for Disney dismissed allegations of wrongdoing, stating that "It is widely accepted for the film industry to relieve customers of their money, giving them very little or nothing in return, and this is no different." The spokesman added that "Vanessa was simply doing what was best for the man. Had he kept the money, it is likely be would have spent it on drugs instead. It is disappointing that the media would try to portray this benevolent act in such a negative light."

Attempts by CNN to interview the man concerned were unsuccessful. Sources at the Los Angeles Hospital reported that a man matching the description had died later that day from gonorrhea.

Taser endorsement[edit]

In 2009, Vanessa revealed in Star Magazine that she carried a taser in her purse for protection.[28] This was in stark contrast to her Disney channel brethren, who have traditionally preferred firearms (Miley Cyrus favours a Smith and Wesson, while the Jonas Brothers are well-known Heckler & Koch aficionados). The National Rifle Association expressed their deep disappointment and concern that Vanessa's tween fan base might be swayed to prefer tasers over classic American icons, such as assault rifles. The NRA's chief executive Wayne LaPierre issued a statement that "A semi-automatic is a quintessential self-defence firearm owned by American citizens in this country. We hope that Vanessa will be a good role model for many young Americans by switching to a self-loading rifle."[29]

Personal Life[edit]

Vanessa's life has been relatively uneventful; indeed, in a recent interview with Teen magazine, she remarked that "I'm a good kid. I've been brought up with very good morals, and I'm not going to go out and do something I don't want other kids to do."[30] She is, however, very pleased to have so far avoided decapitation, observing that "I'm still here with my head on my shoulders. For that, I'm proud."[31]

Vanessa is currently dating her High School Musical co-star, Zac Efron. This was stipulated in their contracts by Disney, which did not want to risk fans being disillusioned, should Zac start dating Ashley Tisdale, or perhaps Lucas Grabeel. It also turned out to be advantageous for Zac, who remarked that "It's much easier if you're kissing the same girl on and off set ... That way, if you get glandular fever [mono], you can be sure where you got it from".

Vanessa and Zac were both discreet with their relationship while on the HSM2 set, with an astute production source revealing to People magazine that "if you didn't know they were dating, you wouldn't know they were dating".[32]

oh, and she met her real dad, Keith Richards in 2009 when he stated, "Why do i always get the fucking porn models as frickin' daughters?"



Vanessa has convincingly demonstrated her ability to act in a wide range of genres, with a diverse filmography including High School Musical (aka Encore Edition), High School Musical: Remix Edition, High School Musical: Karaoke Edition, High School Musical: The Concert, High School Musical 2, High School Musical 2: Extended Edition, High School Musical 2: Extended Dance Edition, and High School Musical 3: Senior Year.

Year Title Role Notes
2003 Thirteen Noel Some sources allege that all of Vanessa's scenes were deleted from the theatrical release. This is not correct: her character can be seen taking part in the group suicide in the third scene.
2004 Tintin Thunderbird Adaptation of the TV series.
2006 High School Musical Gabriella Montez Made by Disney Channel.
2007 High School Musical 2 Gabriella Montez Made by Disney Channel.
2008 High School Musical 3: Senior Year Gabriella Montez Was released by Walt Disney Pictures October 24, 2008.
2009 Will (working title)
Rock On (working title)
High School Band Contest (working title)
Sa5m (The 5 is silent) A musical-romantic comedy film, about a "shy girl who is socially awkward and finds relief through music".[33]
Premieres late 2009 on Disney Channel.
2010 High School Musical 4 Gabriella Montez Made by Disney Channel.
2011 High School Musical 5 Gabriella Montez Made by Disney Channel.
2011 Bandslam 2: Senior Year Sa5m (The 5 is silent) Premieres Summer 2011 on Disney Channel
2012 High School Musical 6 Gabriella Montez Made by Disney Channel.

High School Musical 100 - Gab has 18 children, dodgy boob job, Ranga, WAY TOO MUCH BOTOX and tan (she's a fucking orange) and is married to Troy but is having an affair with Ryan and Taylor.


  1. oceanUP (December 11, 2008). Zac Efron Vanessa Hudgens SEX Store. Retrieved January 14, 2009 from
  2. Parry, R., & Hargrave, H. (November 11, 2008). High School Musical exclusive: How stardom changed teen Vanessa Hudgens. The Daily Mirror. Retrieved January 14, 2009 from
  3. Kaufman, G. (March 2, 2006). What Is 'High School Musical' And How Did It Get To #1? MTV News. Retrieved March 7, 2009 from
  4. High School Musical Cast - Start Of Something New lyrics. Retrieved March 7, 2009 from
  5. Breaking Free lyrics by High School Musical. Retrieved March 7, 2009 from
  9. Andrews, E. (August 13, 2008). Outrage at High School Musical knickers for young girls emblazoned with the words 'Dive In'. Daily Mail. Retrieved January 14, 2009 from
  10. High School Musical 2 - Bet On It lyrics. Retrieved March 7, 2009 from
  11. High School Musical 2 - Everyday lyrics. Retrieved March 7, 2009 from
  12. High School Musical 2 - Gotta Go My Own Way lyrics. Retrieved March 7, 2009 from
  13. Vena, J. (October 24, 2008). 'High School Musical' Stars Ashley Tisdale, Vanessa Hudgens, Corbin Bleu Aiming For Music-Biz Success. MTV. Retrieved March 29, 2009 from
  14. Chapman, M. N. (November 7, 2006). Vanessa Hudgens Goes Solo. Time for Kids. Retrieved January 14, 2009 from,28277,1632346,00.html
  17. Hartlaub, P. (October 24, 2008). Movie review: 'High School Musical 3'. San Francisco Chronicle. Retrieved February 21, 2009 from
  18. High School Musical Cast - Last Chance Lyrics. Retrieved March 7, 2009 from
  19. Cairns, J. (October 24, 2008). Reject Report: Reject Report: High School Musical 3 Looks to Carve Up Saw V. Film School Rejects. Retrieved May 12, 2009 from
  20. Time Inc. (September 7, 2007). Vanessa Hudgens 'Embarrassed,' Apologizes for Nude Photo. People. Retrieved Februrary 9, 2009 from
  21. The Associated Press (September 7, 2007). Hudgens Apologizes For Nude Photo. Retrieved February 9, 2009 from
  22. Hiscock, J. (October 24, 2008). High School Musical's Vanessa Hudgens on the nude pictures which nearly destroyed her clean-cut image. The Daily Mirror. Retrieved February 4, 2009 from
  23. Beyond Hollywood (September 26, 2007). Vanessa Hudgens Wants to Pose for Men’s Magazine. Retrieved February 4, 2009 from
  24. Finn, N. (August 11, 2008). Vanessa Hudgens Courted for Her Money. E! Online. Retrieved January 20, 2008 from
  25. Parry, R., & Hargrave, H. (November 11, 2008). High School Musical exclusive: How stardom changed teen Vanessa Hudgens. The Daily Mirror. Retrieved February 27, 2009 from
  26. Actress Archives (August 13, 2008) Vanessa Hudgens Sued By Former Manager. Retrieved February 27, 2009 from
  27. Finn, N. (August 11, 2008). Vanessa Hudgens Courted for Her Money. E! Online. Retrieved February 27, 2008 from
  28. Herald Sun (April 16, 2009). High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens has Taser. Retrieved April 18, 2009 from,21985,25341043-5012974,00.html
  29. Davies, A. (April 18, 2009). US launches assault on weapons. Sydney Morning Herald. Retrieved April 18, 2009 from
  30. CBS News (30 August, 2007). Vanessa Hudgens: "I'm A Good Kid". Retrieved January 14, 2009 from
  31. Synnot, S. (October 22, 2008). Nude picture episode taught me a lot, says High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens. Daily Record. Retrieved January 14, 2009 from
  32. People magazine (August 22, 2007). COVER STORY SNEAK PEEK: Zac & Vanessa's Real-Life Romance. Retrieved January 14, 2009 from,,20052827,00.html
  33. IMDB (February 14, 2008 13:01:53). Message Board: Bandslam (2009). Retrieved February 4, 2009 from