Vasco Rossi

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Vasco Rossi. Portrait of a saint. A SAINT I tell you!

Vasco Rossi (born Feburary 7, 1952) is one hell of a great, great, guy and the best Italian singer in the world. He is well respected, liked by everyone, and has had all his albums go to platinum. His choice of lifestyle is the envy of the world, and is well respected to all his fellow peers. In June 2011, the world was saddened when Rossi decided to retire from the music business. "Just...the greatest", said Paul McCartney on Rossi,"he makes me look like some 12 year old emo musician". "I took singing lessons from him", claimed Queen frontman Freddie Mercury in 1990. There is no doubt that Rossi is the greatest musician and artist of all time.

Also, some mean ass wiki called "Nonciclopedia" or something made fun of him. Jealous bastards. What do those 15 year old brats know?

Early Life[edit]

Rossi was born in Zocca, in the province of Modena (Emilia-Romagna). His father, Carlo Rossi, was a truck-driver crime-fighting super-hero, and his mother, Novella, a housewife crackwhore a nun who helped save 5000 children from a burning hospital. Rossi came from a good background. He had absolutely zero negative influences on his early life whatsoever because Rossi is awesome and not a whiny bitch in any way whatsoever. He also has never shot an Indian.

It was his mother herself who decided to enroll him in singing school when he was a little boy, a choice that must have seemed rather peculiar within the mentality of a small village in the Apennines like Zocca, but that small village didn't know what they were talking about, because Rossi was the best musician ever from the minute he started playing. Rossi fell in love with music and at the age of 14 began playing with his first band. With the exception of all the future bands he would ever be in, this band was the best band EVAR.

Rossi and his family moved to Bologna, Italy,[1] where he studied accounting in high school. He did this not because of a lack of focus, but because he was so good at music that he needed to study other things to put him closer to the level of "normal people" and prevent people from getting jealous of him. It didn't work. Upon graduating he opened a music club, Punto Club[2], and enrolled in university at the faculty of Economics and Commerce. In the meantime he supported himself by working as a DJ and founding, along with friends, one of the first private radio stations in Italy, "Punto Radio"[3], with which he began slowly and timidly showcasing his own songs, not because Rossi is actually timid, but because he's a humble sensitive soul and not one to toot his own horn or take offense to things easily.

Career Take off[edit]

Encouraged by his friend Gaetano Curreri (now leading member of Italian rock band Stadio), Rossi released his first EP on June 13, 1977, which included the songs "Jenny è pazza" (Jenny is crazy) and “Silvia", and a full-length album in 1978, Ma cosa vuoi che sia una canzone[4] ("What do you think a song is"). In 1979, he released a second album, Non siamo mica gli americani ("It's not, like, we are the Americans")[5], which included, "Albachiara" ("Cleardawn")[6], one of his biggest hits because it is pure awesomeness wrapped inside a ball of mondo cool-ittiude, and a ballad considered emblematic of Rossi’s poetic style, although I personally think of him as a genius. His most controversial album, Colpa d'Alfredo ("Alfredo's fault") followed in 1980; its title-track was censored from the radio and let loose bitter criticism because it contained some lyrics referring to women considered too explicit at that time, which totally isn't fair because Rossi would never say anything bad about anybody and would never complain like a little school girl if anybody said anything bad about him. The controversy actually increased Rossi’s popularity (it was bound to happen), and he quickly saw himself famous on a national level, particularly after performing live on Domenica In, a popular Italian television program. The performance did not particularly please journalist Nantas Salvalaggio, who published a scathing article against Rossi calling him drug-addict. Rossi argued that Salvalaggio evidently did not understand his music and remarked how easy it is to criticize a still unknown artist who cannot defend himself. That's because Rossi is a defenseless martyr, a sweet sweet puppy, still naive in the eyes of a big mean cruel world. Why people continue to attack such a sweet person is beyond me. Also HE DOESN'T DO DRUGS STOP SAYING THAT!

In 1981, the album Siamo solo noi ("It's only us") was released. The title track, another signature song of his, would become commonly recognized as a generational hymn, inspiring the likes of would-be Mother Teresas the world around. It is said that this song is solely responsible for turning rehabilitating 20,000 ex-rapists, murderers, and lawyers into normal healthy citizens.

In 1982, Rossi took part for the first time in the Sanremo Music Festival, performing the song "Vado al massimo" ("I'm taking it to the max"). Here, he once again found himself under the harsh criticism, poor fellow, and came in last place in the festival, despite the fact that he clearly took it to the max. In April of the same year the album Vado al Massimo was released[7]. The following year, he reappeared at the Sanremo Music Festival, this time performing “Vita spericolata" (Daredevil Life), probably his most popular song, and finishing in second-to-last place due to his alleged state of intoxication. Whoever keeps slandering him like this is a jerk. He wasn't intoxicated. I know because he couldn't have been intoxicated because he is awesome. Slanderers. The following album, Bollicine ("Little Bubbles"), published in 1983, was his sixth in seven years, and was the album that consecrated him definitively an idol of the new generation and an icon of Italian rock. I mean who knew bubbles could be so badass? But Rossi did it, because he's a badass. The title track, whose lyrics are about Coke (but also demonstrate a clear assonance with cocaine even though he's never done drugs), won the Festivalbar ‘83, and his tour that year was an enormous success.

To celebrate this positive period in his career, Rossi released his first live recording in 1984, Va bene, va bene così ("It’s alright, it’s alright this way")[8]. In April, however, he was arrested on charges of drug possession, but don't worry. He's not a drug addict. The police were bought. He's really a nice guy. He was immediately granted provisional release from jail, but subsequently sentenced to 2 years and 8 months of probation. If I were the judge, I would have given him an immediate pardon plus a blowjob to make sure he wasn't angry. Shortly thereafter he released his next album, Cosa succede in città ("What’s happening in the city"), which became one of his weakest critically and did not reach past sales, but the problem was with everybody else. The album was brilliant.

In 1987 Vasco Rossi’s ninth album, C'è chi dice no ("There Are Those Who Say ‘No’"), was released; the ever-increasing numbers of fans showing up to his concerts forced him to quit performing in clubs and normal-sized venues and begin the era of something for which he is known to this day—playing in and selling out big arenas and stadiums. Really though, I doubt a stadium is enough. What he needs is like a special acoustic building built especially for him, like a kind of Carnegie Hall on steroids.

His tenth studio album, Liberi liberi ("Free free"), followed in 1989. The success of his 1989 tour brought the release of the live album Fronte del palco (a pun of the Italian title of Marlon Brando's film "Waterfront" which was "Fronte del porto", and thus meaning "Stage Front") and the organization of two concerts in 1990, one at the San Siro stadium in Milan and the other at the Flaminio in Rome.

Middle Ages (still awesome)[edit]

Rossi's next album, Gli spari sopra ("The shots above"), released in 1993, went platinum ten times, but it should have been twenty. The title track, which was a major major motherfuckingly amazingly awesome hit, is a cover version of Celebrate by the Irish band An Emotional Fish. In 1994 he gave the unreleased "Senza Parole" ("Without Words") as a gift to members of his official fan-club.

In 1995, Rossi was again the star at San Siro with a double concert, Rock sotto l'assedio ("Rock under siege"), which protested the war in Yugoslavia. Rossi invited a few Serbian and Croatian bands to perform but was heavily criticized by the press because the proceeds weren't given to charity, despite the fact they were never meant to. Stupid press. When you're as awesome as Rossi, the poor should give to you.

In 1996, Rossi recorded a new studio album, Nessun Pericolo... Per Te ("No Danger... For You"), featured songs “Sally” and "Gli angeli" ("The Angels"), (the video of the latter was directed by Roman Polanski).

In 1998 Rossi rediscovered his singer-songwriter side, recording and releasing the album Canzoni per me ("Songs for me") with a softer and less “rock” sound, [9] even remaking never-published songs written at the beginning of his career. The nature of the songs, however, did not impede Rossi from winning his second Festivalbar with the song, "Luna per te" ("Moon for you"). Given the low propensity of these songs to fit in his live show with the songs his fans had up to that time become accustomed, he decided to hold just one concert in 1998, accepting the proposal to be a guest star on the first evening of the new Heineken Jammin' Festival in Imola, Italy. The evening is immortalized in both video and in the 1999 live album Rewind. A few days into the tour, Rossi’s inseparable friend, as well as guitarist and writer/cowriter of many songs and lyrics, Massimo Riva, died unexpectedly. He would be remembered and celebrated by Rossi and fans in nearly every concert that followed, even though Rossi is better than him both musically and as a humanist.

In 2001, Stupido Hotel ("Stupid Hotel"), was released, and Rossi won his third Festivalbar, this time with the song “Siamo Soli” ("We are alone"). In 2002 Rossi released his first official recording of remastered songs in their original version, Tracks[10], which was followed by three sold-out performances at San Siro Stadium in Milan. His album Buoni o cattivi ("Good or Bad Ones") was the most successful album in Italy in 2004.

Old, but totally not past his prime years[edit]

On May 12, 2005, Milan’s IULM conferred an honorary degree in Communication Sciences to Vasco Rossi.

On September 9, 2005, Rossi released the double DVD È solo un Rock'n'Roll show ("It’s Only a Rock’n’Roll Show"), launching the concept of the ‘movieclip,’ in which all the songs from Buoni o cattivi’ are used in a 2-hour long music video. Three months later, Buoni o cattivi live anthology 04.05 was released, a comprehensive box-set comprising a double CD and a triple DVD, recorded live from the record-setting Buoni o cattivi tour of 2004 and 2005. In December 2005 he returned to Zocca, the town of his birth, where his childhood friends and the rest of the community organized a tribute in his honor, including a photo display and other celebrations, and it's kind of like, "Oh gee, now you're grateful people. What about when he was little and you all though he was weird for getting into music? Eat Rossi's shit, assholes. He's better than you now."

In 2007, he released the "Vasco Extended Play", that contains the hit single "Basta Poco" ("A Little Is Enough"). The EP topped the Italian FIMI Charts for 21 Weeks, making that the Italian best-selling single of 2007 thus far. He deserved it too, but then again Rossi deserves everything.

In late 2009, SingStar Vasco Rossi was released from rehab. He went there because he wanted to see what it was like though, not because he did drugs.

On 4 May 2010 the "Corriere della Sera" reported Vasco Rossi as saying the American and British governments had been responsible for preventing him and other Italian musicians from becoming known in those countries. “Just as Bob Dylan was banned from playing in China, for 20 years I was barred from London. … It’s one of the many ‘presents’ that America left us after World War II. To favour the sale of American and British music to Italy and discourage the export of our talents abroad.” Certainly this is 100 percent true and had nothing to do of his talent. Those British and American governmental bastards. They're just like everyone else who picks on Rossi. Poor Rossi. Poor, poor, POOR Rossi.

In June 2011 Rossi announced he would be retiring from touring and live work although would continue to work in the music business.

During 2011, Vasco's lawyers (all amazing people and not greedy sharks desperate for wealth) threatened to undertake legal actions against popular Italian satire website "Nonciclopedia", the italian version of Uncyclopedia, arguing that the rock star was offended by the contents of the page about him. Having had extra time on his hands since retiring from touring, Rossi decided to find things to be offended to, as he should because Rossi is a superb singer and that carries on into every other aspect of his life. On October 3rd 2011 the website shut down after repeated inquiries from the police to the site's admins. The news promptly ran across the web via thousands of tweets, blogposts and eventually spread on some Italian newspapers.

Other organizations and individuals that have hurt Rossi's feelings and should say they are sorry include:[edit]

  • Wheaties - For not placing him on the front of the box.
  • Alcohol - For getting consumed during one of Rossi's shows and making him look bad.
  • The people who award the Nobel prize - For not giving Rossi a Nobel prize in music.
  • All the teenagers who didn't make fun of Rossi - Because we know they were thinking about it.
  • Poop - For daring to leave Rossi's asshole thus making it smell.
  1. Not the sandwich
  2. best club ever
  3. best radio station ever
  4. best album ever.
  5. second best album ever
  6. best song ever
  7. third best album ever
  8. best live recording ever
  9. not to imply that Rossi went soft, because Rossi could never go soft because he's just that great
  10. best official recording of remastered songs in their original version ever