Velocity

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Velocity is a scientific term that describes the rate of movement of objects over a given time. The term was coined by Euclid in the 7th century.

[edit] Derivation

In the classical Greek period, when many important scientific discoveries were being made, such as Hitler's Three Laws of Motion, Noodle Theory, and The Jesus-Burrito paradox, scientists believed that for all motion to not be an illusion, something had to be moving everything that moved. Furthermore, since they couldn't be seen, they must be very very small. Unbelievably small.

As a logical extension of this, such small somethings would need a lot of power to exert the force needed to move such relatively big objects. The force needed, they calculated, would average about the output of a small city. Therefore, using the newly created Metric system, they dubbed these somethings "velo-cities". (For reference, a velometer is the approximate inverse of a metric assload.)

Later, many other scientists, such as Bill Murray or Sandra Day O'Connor would claim invention of the velocity, but due to irrefutable Greek copyright law, Euclid retained the sole rights to the term velocity.