Venus
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“She's got it! Yeah, baby she's got it!”
~ Bananarama on finding extraterrestrial life on Venus
Venus is the second planet. Venus is also goddess of love and sex, and she is very pretty. Venus is covered by downy fuzz and has sexy craters and volcanoes at her equator. Venus's atmosphere is full of pink clouds. People on Venus are blond and cute. The Flying Spaghetti Monster created this planet for women.
Men are from Mars, and Mars being friggin awesome, is like holy crap shutup bitches.
Venus revolves on her axis when she walks. With a surface temperature of up to 900 degrees, she is the totally hottest of the planets in our solar system. Her tilt measures a perfect 23 degrees, and her escape velocity is an alluring 10.3.
The Venusian population consists of Valkyries, Valley Girls, and vegetarian vestal virgins, the most famous of which is Sailor Venus.
[edit] NASA's Voyeur Program
For thousands of years, frustrated astronomers and horny astronauts have been trying to peer beneath Venus's filmy veil of clouds. Recently the Hubble telescope has revealed new details, sending back provocative downblouse shots that have finally confirmed Einstein's controversial Puffy Nipples Theory. As of 2009, the United States is in a race with Venezuela, Vietnam, the Vatican, and the Virgin Islands to be the first to land a probe in Venus's polar region. They face competition from Vanuatu, however, which has been showering her with gifts and has a nicer car.
