Vole

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Small edible rodents encased in pastry.

Also known as hermit rats, these shy creatures evolved to have a symbiotic relationship with chefs. Naturally hairless, voles have been observed to steal and use pastry shells to keep themselves warm. Following an unfortunate incident in a Parisian heating duct, the cooked voles were extracted and discovered to be surprisingly tasty. This lead directly to the invention of the vol-au-vent.

If they manage to avoid being cooked, it has recently been discovered that voles are immortal. The oldest known vole is believed to be over 3,000 years old. It does not appear to exhibit any pastry-related behaviour, leading biologists to believe that it had lived in the Pre-Pastry Era.

Due to the recent popularity with the French, voles in their natural environment are becoming rare. To provide for the increased demand large free-range vole farms have been established on the steppes of Scandinavia. It is not an uncommon sight to see herds of voles roaming free in the summer months, though in winter their lack of hair results in the need for heated indoor accomodation. The population is being supported by the unending work of David and Viiiiic, who have the largest vole farm, based in Sweden, despite the debasing of their toils by the sicko French.

[edit] Internal Anatomy

While morphologically higher similar to other familiar rodents such as the mouse, the rat, the mole, the baby seal, the earless rabbit, and the tiny hairy trunkless elephant, the internal anatomy tells a different story, and has led some biologists to postulate an endosymbiotic event like the one that created eukaryotic cells from primitive scraps of food. If true, this is the only known example in mammals. Inside, voles appear to be a form of ibis or other wading bird. They have very long thin legbones folded up around the gut, girls for breathing underwater, and three gizzards full of small stones for crushing up their prey. The only other true mammal known to resemble an ibis so closely internally is the colourful Spinks's macaw of Brazil, which is not however a rodent but a highly developed annelid worm with feathers and a beak. This is likely to be an example of convergent evolution rather than common ancestry, since ibis gizzards would only have become desirable after the Miocene drought ended in the 1930s.